Disclaimer:  Michael belongs to Paramount, and we, of course, wish him *no* personal harm.. Charon, why the frell are your fingers crossed?

~~~~~~~~

Relisys sat at her computer at the JCUKjnr headquarters, mug of steaming coffee in one hand and other hand in blissful contact with the computer keyboard.  The emails had been piling up over the past week whilst she'd been out celebrating Michael's death, and now her inbox was fit to bust.
Rel sighed and turned to stare out of the window by her computer.  Just then, something loomed out of the darkness.  She screamed, dropping her mug with a crash in shock.  Suddenly, her view was obscured as a heavy sack was thrown over her head.  Her last vision was that of the precious liquid pooling at her feet like spilt blood.  She gasped at the terrible wastage and promptly passed out.

"Another hobnob anyone?" Jay offered the packet around the WHiMS members gathered on the bridge.  Lieutenant Charon was dozing on the recently installed Command sofa, muttering things about Chakotay's warpcore as she tossed and turned.  Beside her, Private Pampers - great and glorious leader of the WHiMS, and Slayer Of Michaels - was sticking pins into a Michael Voodoo Doll with vigor.
Kim accepted a hobnob and licked all the chocolate off as she monitored her operations console.  The pretty flashing lights were hypnotizing; so hypnotising that it took her a few seconds to realise that the purple button three rows down had started to glow brightly.
"Uh, Private, we're getting an incoming high priority transmission on all channels, from the JCUKjnr HQ," Kim reported.
"On screen," Pampers ordered, dropping Michael to the floor and crushing him underfoot as she stood.  The viewscreen flickered uneasily to life.  "Bec?" she asked.  "What's wrong?"
The Brigadier had recently returned to the JCUKjnr HQ to get things in order after her recent promotion to listmum.  She had a harried expression on her face as she blurted out, "Rel's gone missing, Private!  We think she may have been kidnapped!"
Charon sat up in shock and swore, "Holy zarfing bananas!  What did you say?!"
"Tribbles, Charon, pay attention!" Pampers chided, and walked over to join Jenn at the helm.  "When did this happen, Bec?"
"We're not sure," the Brigadier said.  "I went to borrow some of her flavoured coffee and found her quarters deserted, her keyboard on the floor, and - and -" Bec started trembling, and her face went white as white chocolate as she steadied herself against her console. "And there was coffee all over the floor!!"
There was a collective gasp of horror from the WHiMS girls, and Pam gritted her teeth.  "Don't worry, Bec.  We'll be there as soon as a possible - you can count on us.  Tomahawk out."
The screen went blank, and Pampers slammed her fist against the console.  "Set a course for the JCUKjnr homeworld, Jenn!  Maximum warp!"

When Rel's eyes finally fluttered open, she instantly regretted making the effort to do so.  Her hands and legs were strapped securely in what could only be described as iron shackles, and there  were straps in place all over her body, keeping her down.  She tried to find out where she was by squinting desperately into the foreboding darkness, but all she could make out was a patch of somehow darker darkness.
"Darlin'... are y'awake?" an eerie disembodied voice floated out of the emcompassing gloom.
"Where am I?!" she demanded angrily.  "Who are you!?"  She thought the voice and the accompanying snigger sounded disturbingly familiar, but she couldn't quite place it.
"Ye know who I am in your heart, me dear.  How could you forget your one true love?"
Rel looked absolutely confounded.  What the zarf was going on here?  "Who are you!?" she repeated. There was the sound of the giggle of a twisted maniac. "This isn't funny Bec!!!" Rell yelled.
"My dear... ye have NO idea."
Rel smelt the chloroform before she felt a wet rag being pressed against her face.  She gasped for breath and promptly passed out... for the second farking time.

The graceful Tomahawk, the most graceful ship that ever graced the graceful sweep of the heavens, slid gracefully into orbit about the graceful planet that was the JCUKjnr Homeworld.  Up on the bridge, Charon downed the last two of her Ibuprofen tablets and switched on the First Officer's console to assess the situation.  Private Pampers looked over her shoulder.
"I'm not seeing the spoons - I mean, I'm not seeing any ion trails leading away from the planet, so whoever came, didn't come in a standard ship," Charon reported.
"They could have transported though, or come in a cloaked ship," Katie interjected from the science station.  "There are any number of possible explanations."
Pam frowned.  "Charon, I want you to take an away team and report to Bec.  Examine the scene of the disappearance, scan for anything unusual, and stock up on the coffee supplies.  We're getting low, and Bec's bound to have some lying around down there."
"Bec?  Leave coffee?  Never," Jay the Spy commented from where she was sitting in her Jeffries Tube under the floor.
"True.  But see what you can find anyway."  Pampers handed Charon a big box which she had just pulled out of her pocket.  "Here's some hobnobs for you to take on the mission.  Don't forget to contact us every hour, and be back before midnight."
Charon grinned, and looked at Kim and Jenn.  "You two, report to the transporter room in five minutes.  Don't forget your Leola root rifles - zarf knows what the frell we'll find down there."  She looked at Pampers.  "Do you think the MiB could be involved?  They've been hating in silence since you killed Michael, and Rel was known to be a staunch WHiMS supporter, if not an actual member."
Pam looked serious.  "It's possible, but we can't go jumping to conclusions."  She chewed thoughtfully on a hobnob.  "Keep your eyes peeled anyway, they taste better that way.  See you soon."
"Ciao!"

Rel woke to the sensation of someone breathing on her toes.  'Farking Pineapples' she thought.  "Harry...?" she mumbled. Then the memory of what had happened came flooding back.
She unconsciously set her look to Deathglare-2 and looked around as much as the straps allowed. "Hello?????" Her stomach lurched as she felt something begin to nibble softly on her toes.
"Howya girly-oh? Are ye enjoyin'?" The voice from before said with almost idiotic fake innocence.
"That's a stupid question if I ever heard one." She increased her glare's intensity.
"So I take it that's a yes, then?"
Rel rolled her eyes and tried to move her foot that was currently being drooled over away.  A hand stopped it and she muttered under her breath, "You farking pervert! Braga-loving FREAK!"  How long would this torture continue, she wondered and considered passing out again.
"Oh darlin', now you wouldn't be insultin' me now, would ye?"
Rel decided to try an alternative approach.  "Well, since you're supposed to be the love of my life and I can't see you, what the zarf am I supposed to think?"
There was an ominous pause in the darkness before a light blinded her. Suddenly, a face loomed over her; a face that she knew well and induced a deep terror in the very depths of her J/C loving soul.  She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand was placed over her mouth, stifling it before she could make a sound.
"YOU???!!!" she screamed. "But you're DEAD!!!!"
"You mean the me that was.  The me that was made just of light held together by forcefields.  The me that could not love and cherish you like you deserved, my lady!  My love!  But now I have a body made of flesh and blood with which to worship you and satisfy your every whim!!"
Rel felt the bile rise in her throat and promptly passed out.
Again.

Kim took a breath of the sweet, flower scented air that wafted in through the window from the beautifully manicured gardens of the JCUKjnr Homeworld below them.  It was such a relief to be off the ship after their last, exhausting encounter with... TZH.  But it was over now and she could relax once more.
She walked out of Rel's luxurious quarters, ignoring the blow up Harry doll on the bed, and stepped out into the pink and red striped corridor framed with pictures of Janeway and Chakotay.  Jenn was gazing thoughtfully at one of the New Earth pictures.
"Wassup Jenn?" She asked.
Jenn didn't take her eyes off the picture.  "Hmm...? Oh, hi Kim.  Find anything?"
"Not a zarfing thing." She sighed heavily as the lift doors next to them opened and Becci, the chief security officer of the JCUKjnr homeworld, stepped out, accompanied by Charon.
"Ah.. just who I was looking for," Becci said, straightening the machine gun that was slung over her shoulder. "Well, anything to report?"
Kim sighed and shook her head. "Nothing, absolutely nothing.  The only suspicious things in Rel's quarters are things I'd rather not mention."
Becci grinned evilly. "Well, we already knew about all that..."
Charon snerked and stifled her snort.
Jenn jumped suddenly and yelped.  "Oh holy flying ferking frelling leola root!!!"
The others grimaced at her language.  "What on earth is it?" Charon demanded.
Jenn pointed to what had made her start in the picture.  Everyone blanched and Becci took out her Bat'leth and sliced the picture in half where it hung.
Kim shuddered.  "That was... that was... Michael!"
Becci glared at her.  "Don't say that name here," she reminded her sharply. "That's been a rule since Day One around this place."
Kim hung her head.  "I'm sorry.  That was TZH in those bushes behind them."
Becci nodded sharply, and shared a worried look with Charon.  "What the frell was he doing on New Earth?"
"There are no holoemitters there," Charon continued, finishing what passed for a 'thought'.
"So it would mean that he would have to be..." Jenn stuttered.  "To be real...!!!"
The WHiMS girls and Becci screamed, a scream that was loud enough to bring Bec running from the other side of the building.
"What the zarf is going on here?!  What the zarf have you done to that picture?!" the stressed out Listmum demanded.  Her skin was pale from lack of sleep, and she was clutching a coffee cup in each hand, she was feeling that bad.
"It's TZH!" Charon explained.
"TZH was in one of the New Earth pictures," Jenn shrieked at the same time.
Bec looked at them in bewilderment.  "For the love of coffee, give me a break and speak one at a time."  She looked at Charon, and took a deep sip from one of the coffee mugs before asking, "Now, what were you saying?"
Charon took a deep breath, and explained, "Jenn just found a picture of TZH on New Earth and as there were no holoemitters on New Earth that means that TZH is actually a real person not a hologram which means we're in deep deep trouble and he may not even be dead because what Pampers killed last week was definitely a hologram so this is bad bad news and means that everything we've done has been in vain and the MiB are probably in on this and it's really not good and this could be even worse for J/Cers because he's still around and worse than he was before and this is all so zarfing bad!"
Bec blinked once.  Then twice.  Then she stared at Charon for a moment.  "Okay. Er.. okay.  Right, yeah, I think I get you."  She blinked again, and took a sip of her coffee.  Looking at Becci, she asked, "Have we got any further with finding Rel?"
Becci shook her head solemnly.  "Not a thing, mum.  She seems to have vanished without a trace."
"Zarfit," Bec swore.  She turned to Charon.  "And I suppose you haven't found anything either?"
Charon shook her head sadly.  "We'll keep at it, though.  There has to be something we can do."
"You'll have TZH to worry about, Charon, if what you've said is true," Bec said.
Jenn looked thoughtful.  "It's possible that if we find one, we'll find the other."
Charon opened her tricorder.  "Well, there's only one way to find out," she said with determination.  "Let's get to it.  Jenn, beam back up to the Tomahawk and brief the Private on what's going on.  Kim, I need you to continue scanning the HQ, but look for signs of TZH activity as well.  Becci, I think we're going to need more JCUKjnr troops, but that's your department." She looked over to
Bec, who was still pale.  "Brigiadier, I think you and I need to talk, see where we are and where we're going."  Bec nodded her agreement.  "Okay, let's get to it, girls."

"Jenn, what the zarf's been going on down there?" Private Pampers demanded as Jenn strode onto the bridge with a worried look.
Jenn dumped her tricorder on the helm console and turned to face Pam. "Private, we've got trouble," she said.  "Big trouble.  It seems that Michael's on the loose again - but this time, he's for real."
The bridge fell silent, and turned to look at Jenn with one unified horrified expression.  The bombshell she'd dropped had had an instant effect, and there wasn't a bombshell that could be worse than this one.
"What?!" Pam demanded when she had finally found her voice and rescued it from under the chair where it had hidden to escape the terror of Michael.
"We found a picture at the JCUKjnr HQ that had Michael hiding in a bush on New Earth.  There were no holoemitters there, so he must be real!" Jenn explained in a rush.
"RED ALERT!" the Private yelled, and instantly all the red fairy lights started flashing on and off. "Kate2, get the frell in contact with Charon."

Charon was sitting in the JCUKjnr HQ with Bec, who was on her fifth cup of coffee in three minutes.  The two were also nibbling on hobnobs as they went over the recent events.
"So... no trace of Rel."  Bec placed her mug onto the table and laid her head in her hands.  "I don't believe it.  One week as Listmum, and I've already lost a member."
"It's not your fault," Charon said, "And no one blames you.  It's more important that we focus on getting her back and stopping Michael."
Bec sighed.  "Where the zarf can she be, Charon?  We've looked everywhere on the planet, scanned everywhere, searched for trails... I can't think of anything else."
"You're worn out, that's all.  We'll think of something."  Charon offered Bec another hobnob, then took one herself.  "Maybe we need to investigate her quarters again."
"Okay.  Okay, whatever," Bec grimaced, and pulled out her tricorder.  Flicking the switch to activate it, she picked up a sixth mug of coffee and followed Charon down the corridor to Rel's room.  "I'm such a failure," Bec groaned as she looked at the mess Rel's room was in.
"Oh, come off it," Charon said with a sympathetic smile.  "It's not as if anyone could have done any better.  Now let's have a look for clues."
Bec nodded, and the two set to work, searching the room for anything that might be important.  Anything could be helpful, from the unanswered emails to the clothes falling out of the wardrobe to the half written anti-Braga fic littering the floor.  Picking their way through the mess, the two girls scanned as if their lives depended on it.
Just then, Charon's commbadge went off.  "Charon here," she responded, tapping the badge to activate the channel.
Pampers voice came floating over the comm channel.  "Cha Cha, it's Pam here. Can you tell me anything more about what's going on down there?  When will you and Kim be back?"
"Not sure yet, Private," Charon answered, looking around the room.  Bec shrugged, and went back to scanning a load of text messages.  "We're searching Rel's room - and it may give us a lead to one or the other of them, but we just don't know yet."
"Keep at it, then, but try and make it as quick as possible without rushing: if Michael *is* back on the loose, then we need to track him down and sort him out as soon as possible."
Charon nodded then, realising Pam couldn't see her, she said, "Yup, that's true.  We'll do our best, don't worry."
"Okay, see ye soon.  Pampers out."
Charon tapped her commbadge to deactivate the comm channel again, then turned to Bec.  "That was Pam; she's itching to get after Michael."
Suddenly, Bec squealed.  "Holy Leola Root!  I can't believe I didn't see it sooner!"
"What?!" Charon asked, looking around with a confused look on her face.  "What is it?"
"Look, look at the coffee on the floor!"  Bec pointed to the puddle of coffee that was still on the floor from where Rel had spilt it earlier, and looked at Charon.  "Do you realize what this means?!"
"Tribbles, you're right!" Charon exclaimed, bending down to examine it closer, running her tricorder over it as she did so.  "Someone, either Rel or her captor, has left footprints in this!"

To Be Continued...