Have you heard about Brasky?
Bill Brasky… …is Chock Full o' Nuts!
You know he once went skydiving with only a Glad Ziploc sandwich bag for a parachute!:
Brasky has a pet chipmunk named Mr. Lipinski
His natural hair color is auburn.
Brasky pulled out all his teeth, and replaced them with dentures he made from the ivory tusks of a pink elephant.
He performed his wife’s tubal ligation himself, and on his taxes he claimed it as a business expense.
One night, at Christmastime I was out with Brasky, and he urinated in a Salvation Army donation pot. Then he ordered me to go back and get his change! Damned if I didn't do it!
He spent a summer in Haiti learning voodoo… AND rug-hooking!
He has all his ass-hair removed by electrolysis.
You know that’s funny, because I heard his left buttock is actually prosthesis!
He knows Gilbert Gottfried’s brother.
Brasky told me that the idea of One Great All-powerful “man upstairs” is a crock. It's really a TEAM of all-powerful albino dwarves, and they really do live upstairs from Brasky!
He once soddomized me with a bowling trophy. Jesus! It was the best sex I ever had
Brasky has his own sperm bank, and his pays interest! Free checking too, I think.
He works nights as a mid-wife.
His mother is a Yeti.
He hates the color orange ! I mean, REALLY!
Brasky's rap sheet is as long as his arm, AND he's got really long arms!
He was born a hermaphrodite, but one day the female parts just fell off .
He has a restraining order against Danny Bonaduce.
He owns the patent on "the Clapper".
Brasky’s saliva is considered a hazmat by the EPA.
Somewhere in Appalachia, he has a harem of illiterate, toothless women - and they all wear T-shirts that say, "Brasky's Bitches"
Brasky adopted a Mexican boy. He dresses him up in a little uniform and makes him stand perfectly still out in the front yard as a lawn jockey..
He spearheaded a campaign requiring all the Jersey Turnpike toll-takers to wear push-up bras and carry whips.
He once made love to a coati mundi
I heard he never learned to swim!
Plus, he oversees a sweatshop in Honduras where they make Silly Putty.