Doh: Before we start the interview, let me say that you're one hot little number.

Dole: Why, thank you…

Doh: Now I can see why Bob is always popping those Viagra pills. Show me a little cleavage, baby.

Dole: No, I can't…

Doh: Oh, come on now! Just pop open a couple of those buttons.

Dole: I guess it wouldn't hurt.

Doh: Oh yeah, baby! Now lets see more of those gorgeous gams. Hitch up that skirt a bit.

Dole: I don't know…

Doh: Flash me some leg, you little tease!

Dole: OK, there you go. I can't believe I'm doing this!

Doh: It's animal magnetism, baby. You dig me and I dig you. Dump that old man of yours and we'll fly away to Aruba.

Dole: I can't leave, Bob!

Doh: Baby, he looks like a warmed-over corpse. You can do better than that! Beautiful people like you and I deserve to be together. Elizabeth, I want to have your children!

Dole: I'll think about it, OK? Didn't you want to ask me a few questions?

Doh: Oh yeah, questions. Red China. What's up about that?

Dole: China offers many opportunities and challenges to the United States. As the next US President I'll constructively engage the Chinese in a manner that will advance both economic ties and human…

Doh: I wonder about Jackie Chan, though.

Dole: I don't understand the connection …

Doh: Elizabeth, Jackie Chan is Chinese. Don't you get it?

Dole: Not really, John.

Doh: I guess foreign affairs is not your area of expertise. Lets move on to domestic issues. What's your position on drugs?

Dole: It's a plague on America and its youth. A terrible waste of lives and resources.

Doh: Have you ever smoked a fat Jamaican doobie?

Dole: No!

Doh: Smeared mescaline on your gums?

Dole: No!

Doh: Freebase cocaine in a light airplane at 20,000 feet?

Dole: Definitely not!

Doh: Then you don't know what the hell you're talking about, lady! I'll make you a deal. The day Bob swears off his $5 love pills is the day I step down as the head of the Medillin drug cartel! Want to shake on that?

Dole: (sobbing) You've never raised your voice like that to me before, John. How could you?

Doh: Aw baby, let's never fight again! Gimme some sugar!

(end of interview)