Doh: I see you brought someone with you, George. Who's the old fart?

Bush, Jr: Why that's my father, ex-President George Bush, Sr.

Doh: Why did you feel it necessary to bring daddy-o along? Can't handle a few questions on your own, Junior? Huh?

Bush, Sr.: Let me answer that one, son. As ex-President of these here United States, I wasn't going to allow my son to get mauled by a vicious, degenerate interviewer such as yourself. Ain't gonna happen. Wouldn't be prudent.

Doh: No offence, Mr. President, but if you open your mouth one more time you'll be seeing a thousand points of light as I smack you upside the head with this sand-filled rubber hose. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? Don't talk, just nod.

Bush, Sr.: (nods)

Doh: Alrighty, then! So Junior, I hear you’re a raging alcoholic.

Bush, Jr.: I'm ashamed to admit this, but in my youth I led a dissolute life.

Doh: You didn't sober up until last year! Who's "youth" lasts 4 decades?

Bush, Jr.: Well, daddy used to always give me beer money.

Doh: What else did you do, Junior? Snort a few lines? Spray paint some graffiti? Shack up with a transvestite prostitute named Melinda in some seedy Tex-Mex border town?

Bush, Jr.: I've changed, Mr. Doh. I now have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Doh: I hope he isn't an illegal. You'll have a hard time explaining that one! OK, enough of these personal questions. Let's talk policy.

Bush, Jr.: Fine.

Doh: Red China. What's up with that?

Bush Jr.: I have no idea.

Doh: Good answer! Neither do I. As a young boy, did your mother ever take off that string of big-assed pearls and mercilessly whip your bum until it was bloody and lacerated?

Bush, Jr.: I don't want to talk about it.

Doh: You're not too smart, are you George?

Bush, Jr.: No, sir.

Doh: You don't really want to be President. Is that right, George?

Bush, Jr.: Yes, sir.

Doh: Then why are you running?

Bush, Jr.: Daddy says I have to.

Doh: "Daddy says I have to." Just as I figured! Big George, you should be ashamed of yourself! Forcing this little retard to run for President!

Bush, Sr.: The boy is gifted. He just needs a bit of discipline and focus.

Doh: Correction: the boy is dimwitted. He drools out of the corner of his mouth. He's even stupider than Jeb! Listen to me, Junior: you don't have to be President if you don't want to. Do you understand me?

Bush, Jr.: Yes, sir.

Doh: Now here's a quarter, Little George. Go outside and buy yourself a Popsicle. Big George has a session with the rubber hose.

Bush, Jr.: Gee mister, you're the greatest!

Doh: Tell me something I don't already know.

(end of interview)