Top "10" Lists
(1)Top 10 Signs You're Addicted to the Net
(2)Signs You're at a Bad Barbecue"
(3)SYMPTOMS OF SEMESTER BURNOUT!"
Top 10 Signs You're Addicted to the Net
10. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check
your e-mail on the way back to bed.
9. You get a tattoo that reads "This profile best viewed with Netscape
Navigator 1.1 or higher."
8. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom, or they all have
names composed of eight or more characters including at least one numeral.
7. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you
just pulled the plug on a loved one.
6. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and
your child in the overhead compartment.
5. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just
for the free Internet access.
4. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.
3. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
2. You don't think that any of these are funny.
1. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You
start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. You succeed.
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Signs You're at a Bad Barbecue"
10. Everything on the grill has a long, thin tail
9. To avoid burning, chicken breasts are covered in Coppertone
8. The "cole slaw" is just mayonnaise and lawn trimmings
7. The three-legged race is won by a three-legged guy
6. Every couple minutes, the cook drops his pants and flips himself with
the spatula
5. Host tells you the burgers are 20% beef and 80% critter
4. The steaks have been sitting in marinade sauce all night, and so has
your Uncle Earl
3. You have to sign a legal waiver before you eat the potato salad
2. Things seem tense between your hosts, Frank and Kathie Lee
1. The guests all have grill marks on their foreheads
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SYMPTOMS OF SEMESTER BURNOUT!
1. When your parents inquire about your grades and you sing the cookie
monster song (C is for cookie, that's good enough for me...)
2. You have spent more time figuring out that you only need a 54% on the
final to pass than you have actually spent studing.
3. When you are swamped with homework and spend your time making up a
list like this.
4. When you start showering after class rather than before.
5. The test papers are no longer worthy of the fridge door.
6. When the campus drunk tells you you should study more.
7.. When your favorite paperweight says "Bud Light"
8. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you to make it through Monday.
9. When your absence exceeds your attendance.
10. When your study schedule is based on the rationale that you "might"
actually die before the test.
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