"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am.... could I see your drivers
license...?"
"...What's a license...???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact
that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
"Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop.
"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently.
After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute..." said the cop and walked back to his car.
The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license
and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back;
"Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?"
"Yes...." replied the officer
"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher
"Uh... yes" replied the cop.
"Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and
drop your pants..."
"WHAT!!? I can't do that. Its..... inappropriate..." exclaimed the cop.
"Trust me..... just do it...." said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and
drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and
sighs..... "Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer......"
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Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade". But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a homecooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass
of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced
immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was
doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his johnson immersed in a
glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you
guys load those things!"
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There once was a typical blond (i.e. stupid person in mens eyes). She
had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blond jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She
also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country
road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder
over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep." She said.
"Well thank you." Said the herder.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you." Said the woman.
"Okay." Replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one
home?" Asked the woman.
"Sure." Said the sheep herder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied,
"382."
"Wow." Said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out
the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Then, the herder said "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" Queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass." Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language. "That's okay," the blonde replied, "If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car."