Chapter 5 Lance was forcefully brought back to the present by a vicious backhanded slap. From the corner of his eye, he saw Justin cringe and shrink deeper into his seat. "Listen, boy, when I'm talking to you!" Lance stared at him through a veil of tears. His southern boy politeness never failing, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't hear you." Another blow created a hand print on Lance's cheek, "You weren't *listening* ! Now pay attention." Lance shuddered and nodded, then flinched as the leader raised his hand for a third time. "Yes, *sir*,"the Leader said. "Yes, sir," Lance answered in a shaky voice and the hand fell to the bigot's side. The leader turned to Justin who cowered under his gaze. "Let's start with you, boy. Where were you last night?" Last night? Justin could barely remember the last hour. He tried to kickstart his fuzzy brain—  where were they, here, the motel?  Lance watched him, silently willing him to say the right thing, to avoid more pain. Finally, Justin stuttered, "At ....the.. motel?" It was uttered fearfully, uncertain if this was the right answer. "Yes, at the motel. In your bed?" the leader asked, in a sly tone that was a warning, a warning Justin didn't notice. "Yes, sir," Justin responded, remembering Lance's lesson. Lance bit his lip knowing where these questions were going and held his breath, waiting for the next one. "Alone?" Justin's innocence was leading him down a dangerous path. No matter how many times Lance had warned him to think before he spoke, Justin usually didn't and this time was no exception.  His Momma had taught him to tell the truth, that lying was bad, that if you told the truth the punishment wasn't as harsh. "No, sir, I was with Lance." At the gasps that greeted his response, Justin looked up like a startled animal, his eyes darting from one face to the other. He could see the disgust as they pictured the two men together, a tangle of arms and legs and worse.  He tried to make a stand. "I love Lance,"he said, a defiant set to his chin. Rage at Justin's words blossomed on the Leader's face. His eyes became two black pools of anger and he approached Justin, towering over the young man, forcing him to look straight up. He grabbed Justin's curls and twisted, hoping to dissipate some of his emotion through Justin's pain. Justin cried out and tears suddenly appeared. "*Love*," he shrieked, "love between two men is *evil*. Don't you understand that?" Justin knew the answer that his judge wanted to hear but he couldn't force himself to say it. Their love wasn't evil. It couldn't be. They made each other so happy, so... "Say that love between two men is evil." Justin remained silent and the man, still gripping Justin's hair, dragged him from his seat to stand next to him. "Say it!" as he delivered a punch to Justin's mid-section that knocked the breath out of him. Except for the man holding him up, he would have been doubled over. Justin still didn't say a word, his ragged breathing the only sound in the room. Lance had jumped up as soon as the Leader had grabbed Justin but the two men assigned to him had been quick and grabbed the leash and yanked him back down. Even then he continued to struggle, to get to Justin, to save him from this hate. They wrestled him into place and the man from the motel snapped handcuffs on and through the back of the chair, effectively ending any further moves. He switched to yelling, screaming at the man to stop hurting Justin, to leave him alone. So it wasn't surprising that a gag was placed in his mouth so that only muffled sounds could be heard. Once he realized how powerless he was to protect Justin, the tears flowed and became heartbroken sobs. Oh God, Jus, I am so sorry. This stupid vacation was my idea, the motel my idea, I shouldn't have let us sleep in the same bed, I should never have taken you away from the people who love you and would shield you from harm. Oh God, Jus, what have I done?  Please God, make them stop hurting him, make him say it's evil, make him protect himself, make him realize the danger! The leader dropped the boy into his chair and Justin waited for his next move. The man breathed deeply trying to control his anger, unable to believe that Justin wouldn't say it. Initially, Justin hung his head, but then he looked up wondering what it was that these people saw. Not one met his gaze with anything other than pure malice. His mind drifted back to his past when he had a series of meaningless relationships with one girl after another. Not one even remotely approached what he had with Lance. When Lance looked at him, he felt loved, special, not an object, not a toy or a trophy. Lance was there when he needed comfort, affection, laughs, serious talking, silliness, everything. The girls had always wanted, never given. And Lance made him want to give as well. He wasn't as babyish or selfish or cocky when he was around Lance. He was the real Justin, the person that Lance believed he was. But today, back in that room and here now, looking at these people, he finally believed what Lance had said all along, what Lance had warned him about. Because the person he loved was a man, their relationship was evil in their eyes and there would be no acceptance. What would they say if they all knew he was raped by one of these men? Would that be OK? He deserved that, right? But he didn't deserve the love of a man? The injustice of it caused the bile to rise in his throat. He didn't get long to think before the Leader was in his face again, shouting, "You make me sick. Your evil makes me sick." Justin stopped listening. *You make me sick*. Josh had said that to them, too, after talking to Johnny. Josh had been so afraid that they would be found out and NSYNC would die. He had worked so hard and it had finally paid off. It wasn't right that they might ruin it for all of them. Why couldn't they wait? He had asked Justin and Lance that question and they had simply stared at him. Finally, Lance, quiet, gentle Lance said softly in that incredibly deep voice, "If you fell in love, would *you* wait?" "Yes, if NSYNC depended on it," and they knew it was true. Justin knew JC would sacrifice anything for NSYNC. Justin, who had been best friends with JC since forever, went over to his friend and stood before him. "Josh, I love Lance. He makes the whole deal worthwhile. Can you understand ?—  I need him "Fuck you, Justin, it's always about you, isn't it? What about Joey, Chris, and me? What about everyone who relies on us?" He saw the hurt in Justin's eyes but he was way too angry to stop the vitriol that poured from him. "We have babied you and catered to you and spoiled you from Day One. And how do you pay us back?  More selfish Justin shit.  Me, me, me.  I'm sick of it, Jus, I want to hurt you right this minute." Lance stepped behind Justin who had taken a backward step as JC attacked him. Now he hugged him protectively, feeling the younger man's trembling. Josh had never yelled at him like that before no matter what he had done. "JC, stop," Lance said quietly, "you *are* hurting him. What do you want us to do?" Still in a rage, JC  yelled , "Sleep in your own goddamned rooms, stop touching each other all the time, stop sitting on top of each other, stop always ending up in the john together, stop, stop, stop!" By this time Chris and Joey had joined them and were waiting for the fists to fly. Justin had an incredible temper and JC was pushing way too hard. It would be only minutes before Justin's hurt would recycle into anger and then there was no telling what damage would be done. Lance, still holding Justin, felt the change start and whispered in Justin's ear that they should just leave. JC shook his head, "See what I mean? How could anyone see you and not know that you two are fucking each other?" Joey stepped up just in time and put his hand on JC's arm, "You're going too far, man. Drop it for now." JC looked as if he would punch Joey but as suddenly as it started, it ended. JC looked deflated and just turned on his heel and left the room. Justin now shook with rage, "What the fuck? He's not gonna tell us what to do. Damn NSYNC if that's what it takes. C'mon, Lance," he said as he took Lance's hand and headed down the hall. Over his shoulder, he threw out, "Tell JC we'll *both*  be in Lance's room." It was only after the door slammed behind them that Lance turned the younger boy around to face him and searched his eyes. The pain was so deep it hurt to look at it. Tears shimmered and then ran silently down his cheeks and Justin's shoulders shook with emotion. Lance pulled him close and held on. He let Justin cry it out for what seemed like forever and then gently steered him toward the bed. They lay down on top of the blankets and Lance stroked his young lover, wanting to stroke away the pain, knowing he couldn't. He just hoped that the friendship that had sustained Justin for so long could be repaired. Lance understood JC's fear but the viciousness of the attack scared him. Maybe they should stop, take a break from one another, but the thought of not being with Justin was too awful to contemplate. There had to be a compromise and they could find it in the morning. "Curly, let's get ready for bed," Lance said sensibly. He was always the rational one, the calm one. Justin looked up at him and smiled that sweet childlike smile that took Lance's breath away and nodded. Pushing themselves up and off the bed, they prepared for bed in silence. When they were under the covers, Justin turned to Lance. "Am I that selfish? Is this so wrong?" "No and no. JC's scared, the same as Johnny. We just have to be more careful that's all, baby boy." It pained Lance to see Justin so upset. "He's never said things like that to me before, Lance," Justin said, his voice breaking. "It'll be OK." Lance said wondering if there was any truth to it at all. Despite everything in him screaming no, he whispered, "but maybe we should stop for awhile. You know the tour is only another month." He forced the words out staring at a spot over Justin's shoulder knowing that if he looked at that angelic face he'd never be able to do it. He heard Justin's horrified gasp and looked down quickly to see Justin as frightened as he'd ever seen him. His head found the crook of Lance's neck and he snuggled in. Lance could barely hear him as he spoke, "Don't ask me to do that, Lance, not for anybody. I can never turn my back on this." Lance sighed, partly in relief and partly because they had to do *something*. "So what are we going to do, baby?" Justin came out of his safe haven long enough to give Lance a surprised look. "Me? I'm supposed to know? Just tell me what you want to do and I'll do it —  except for breaking up." "Sleeping in our own rooms?" Lance asked. "No, not that either. Please don't ask that." Justin sighed, "Do you know what keeps me going some nights?  The nights when they get close and grab me, trying to get a piece of me?  The nights when they scream what they want to do with me? Just the thought of you and me safe in here, lying together, feeling your arms around me, hearing your breathing. I can't give that up." A thought suddenly occurred to Justin and he asked, "Do *you* want to sleep separately?" His expression was a mixture of hope and fear and he waited, biting his lip, for the answer. "No, Jus, I don't but..." "Fuck the buts. Listen, we all used to bunk together before. Why can't we do that again and you and I can get one room?" Lance cleared his throat, "Justin, I think this is what JC is talking about. That plan works great for us but maybe the others *like* single rooms." Like a child cajoling a parent, Justin continued, "OK, we'll get one room and they can get singles." He smiled as if that were actually going to work. "So then we put up a sign that says `Wonder why there's only one double room?'" he laughed. Justin was becoming frustrated with his problem solving abilities and threw up his hands, "So what do we do? See, I told you. Just tell me what you want and I'll do it." A slow smile formed on Lance's face and he said, "OK, ready?" Justin looked apprehensive, but trusted Lance completely, so he nodded. "Turn off the light and get on your back. And make sure you're naked." "I can do that," the younger man said Lance threw himself onto Justin.  Kissing Justin fiercely, Lance rapidly thrust himself into Justin's erection, grinding their dicks together fast and furious. Lance stopped himself not wanting it to end like this. Pulling himself away from Justin's mouth he moved down, licking and sucking on any piece of skin he could without staying too long. Lance licked and circled Justin's nipples with the grace of a porn star. Leaving his mouth open and looking up into Justin's lust filled face, he smiled lewdly as Justin arched his back in pleasure. Moving lower Lance licked Justin's navel once before skipping to Justin's erect cock. Teasing would have to wait for another time. Lance closed his mouth over the red tip flicking his tongue over the head. His own erection pressed against the mattress throbbing with every moan that escaped from Justin's mouth; leaking precum with every "Oh fuck, Lance." Lance climbed back onto Justin, and grabbed lube from the table. He wasted no time coating his dick with the stuff. "Lance, fuck me please. I need you. I need you inside of me. Please baby" ...and... fuck... Lance brought Justin's legs around his hips and slowly penetrated the younger man. Justin's tightness hugged him, burned him. He had never felt anything as wonderful as Justin. His brain was screaming at him to stop and ask Justin if he was sure but his body had other plans. Once Lance was buried within Justin's essence he stopped, his body and mind finally coming to terms with one another. Lance looked at Justin to find his lover's eyes closed with...pleasure. Lance groaned into Justin's neck. He felt Justin move under him as if he was using Lance's dick to get off, impaling himself on it. Lance moaned and withdrew from Justin. "Oh God, Lance please don't...." Justin stopped talking when he felt Lance slam back into him. "Oh Fuck" Lance withdrew again, only to slam back into Justin, followed by another proclamation from Justin. With each thrust Lance sped up his thrust a little, leaving Justin moaning for more. Lance was soon pistoning in and out of Justin with abandon. Thrusting into Justin as if his very life depended on it, Justin meeting Lance's every thrust with his hips, trying to get Lance further inside of him. Lance slammed into Justin and came. He felt his entire being drain from him as his love filled Justin's heat. He pumped into Justin softly as he was emptied. Sighing he rolled off Justin and took Justin back into his mouth. The boy came before Lance's lips could fully close over the head. Lance looked up at his lover as he swallowed his precious cream. After licking Justin clean, Lance crawled back up and kissed his lover. They fell asleep in each other's arms, completely satisfied. The silence in the room was what startled Justin out of his reverie. The only sound was Lance's harsh breathing behind the gag. Justin looked over at him and saw a wild frightened look in Lance's eyes. What had he missed? Justin swallowed hard and looked up at the leader who seemed to be waiting for something. Oh shit, Justin thought, what am I supposed to do? The leader's stony glare frightened Justin and his silence unnerved him, "Did you say something?" Lance's eyes closed momentarily in resignation. He had been watching Justin during the man's fevered rantings and he knew the exact moment that Justin had checked out. It was a trick that Justin had perfected during JC's many lectures and he relied on the others to fill him in on anything that he really needed to know. Lance couldn't do that now, couldn't tell him that the man had just told him that they were going to "get an old-fashioned whippin'". "Weren't you listening, boy?" the man asked, unbelieving that this little shit had not heard anything he had said. Justin was afraid to answer because there was no answer that wouldn't bring down this man's wrath. So he sat mute again, knowing that this option wasn't a hell of a lot better. He found that out pretty quickly as the man grabbed his hair again and brought their faces close. Justin smelled the fetid breath as the man whispered through clenched teeth, "I said you two are gonna get a whippin'. So what do you say, boy?" When Justin still didn't answer, the man released him. to fall back into the chair. Justin turned to the assembled group, pain evident in his voice, "Isn't  there *one* person here who's willing to help us?"  No one moved and Justin fell back in his chair and closed his eyes.  Lance tried to blink back the tears, not wanting these hateful people to see his pain, not from his anticipation of what tomorrow would bring, but from the total destruction of Justin's innocence. Justin until last night had lived in a world where he believed everyone loved him and accepted, if not everything, then most things that he chose to do.  Tonight he realized that by choosing Lance to love, he placed himself in danger of the bigotry and hatred that existed everywhere. The leader smirked and strode to the front of the stage. "Remember, folks, dawn, here."  He turned and waved to several of the men standing on the sides. The murmurs began as the crowd began to break up. People shuffled out slowly, reluctant to leave before every ounce of drama had been wrung out for them to savor during the night. The crowd parted when Justin and Lance were dragged from the platform toward the door. Justin tried to avoid the malicious glares, tried to avoid the painful shoves, tried to avoid the spit, but he couldn't. He attempted to turn around to see Lance, to look for support and he tripped over an outstretched foot, sprawling on the floor. Several men closed in around him as he made an effort to get to his feet. Their faces were masks of hate as they reached for him, throwing punches at any body part that they could reach. Justin fell back to the floor curling into as tight a ball as he could. Lance was like a wild animal, trying to twist out of the grasp of the two men holding him back. "Stop them," Lance shouted at the leader who stood calmly watching the beating for several minutes. Once he realized that Justin was lapsing into unconsciousness, he raised his hand. "Enough!" he said sternly, "Pick him up!" Fist threw the young man over his shoulder easily and the only reaction was a slight groan. continue menu