Things Change // Two Justin woke up and reached for Tim before remembering the bed creaking as Tim left.  He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.  He wanted to turn back the clock, go back to the Bahamas and freeze those moments when Tim had made him feel safe and loved.  Instead, he had been let go once again.  To be a man, to grow up. Fuck, he didn't want to grow up.  But, he loved Tim and he would keep the lessons for him, prove that he could be the man Tim wanted him to be.  To prove the point, he forced himself out of bed and into the shower, getting ready to do what he had to do. He hated to wash Tim's smell off of him and drew the scent in one last time before the soap and shampoo sent it all swirling down the drain.  He bit back tears, any sign that the others would notice, would comment on.  But he knew the dejection was apparent and there was nothing more he could do about it.  He would just have to lie his way through it. And lie he did.  As soon as he stepped into the lobby where the breakfast was set out, all eyes turned on him.  He wanted to snap at them, ask what the fuck they were staring at.  Instead, he poured some cereal and milk and sat down, focusing on his bowl. They let him be, his morning self not to be reckoned with, despite the new persona.  When he had finished half and pushed the bowl aside, he once again had all eyes riveted on him.  JC asked.  "What's up, Jus?" "Nothing.  Why?" Justin lied smoothly.  Deny, deny, deny.  They were all good at that. JC didn't answer.  He had known Justin long enough to not bother playing this game.  But Chris was determined to torture his friend once again.  "You look like shit, like you didn't sleep.  You look like someone took away your favorite toy." "Drop it," Justin replied, each word spaced for emphasis. Joey threw in his two cents, "We're not trying to be nosy.  Just worried, is all." "Thanks.  Nothing to worry about," Justin said, a smile pasted on his face for effect. Lance said nothing, just studied his friend.  Fortunately for Justin, Em and Laura joined them and the subject changed to the day's schedule. Justin barely listened.  He knew someone would steer him to the right place at the right time.  It was the advantage of being one of five.  When you were off, there was always a guiding hand. *A* guiding hand, not the one he wanted.  He felt the tears as he replayed the night with Tim and sucked in his breath. Only Lance heard and looked at him sharply.  He needed to get Justin alone.  The phone rang and it was for Laura.  "Oh my God," they heard and Lance jumped up, hovering near her. "Yes, okay, I'll get the next flight," she said, the tears running down her face.  Lance stroked her back, offering his comfort.  She ended the conversation and stared at Lance mutely.  He held her for a moment and whispered something. "I'll meet you guys at rehearsal.  Okay?" Lance asked, calling back to the room.  He left without hearing the response.  The breakfast had officially ended and they each went off to get whatever they needed to get done before the day spun out of control. Justin called Brit, hoping to hear her voice, but she was busy Felicia told him.  He forced himself to watch tv.  He really wanted to hunt Tim down, but Tim had specifically told him not to.  So instead, it was Judge Judy or some shit like that.  He was only half paying attention when he heard the knock. He tripped in his haste to get the door, his heart beating double time.  He pulled so hard the door nearly hit him and he couldn't hide his disappointment when it was Lance.  "Uh, hi," he said. Lance was sure now that something had happened last night. He was here to ask under the guise of needing comfort regarding Laura's sudden departure.  "Hey, man, can I come in.  I need to talk," Lance said. "Oh sure, sorry," Justin said, moving aside.  He and Lance had always been close when they were younger but Joey was usually Lance's confidante these days.  Justin wasn't sure he needed to hold someone else's hand when he needed to hold his own so badly.  "So, what's with Laura?" Lance sighed, "Her grandma had a heart attack this morning and she needed to go." He was ashamed that he had such mixed reactions to the news.  He was sad, knowing how much family meant to both of them.  He was sorry she had to leave.  He loved having her around, for emotional support as well as..... On the other hand, he needed to be there for Justin.  This was his brother and it was clear he was hurting.  Now he would have the time and space to get to the bottom of this.  Justin was looking at him curiously, "You okay, man?" "Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing.  Justin, I *know* something's wrong.  Want to talk?" Justin was startled at the change of subject.  He almost blurted it out before he clamped down on the words.  He would be a man and handle it on his own.  "Nothing that I can't take care of.  Thanks though," he replied softly, touched by Lance's concern. "Well, I'm here for you if you change your mind.  You know that.  Right?" Justin nodded and hugged his friend.  "See you downstairs." Lance stood outside the door for a moment.  He had seen the pain in Justin's eyes for a few seconds before he hid it.  Shit, if one of them wouldn't talk, he'd ask the other.  Justin unhappy was bad for the group.  But more than that, Lance really loved him. On the way down, he wondered how he would ask.  How stupid would he feel if Tim hauled off and decked him for even suggesting that there was something there.  Stupid?  Out like a light and in no shape for tonight more likely.  Then he laughed to himself.  Probably good timing.  Tim was too much of a professional to render Lance unable to perform. He was still thinking when they entered the ballroom.  Tim was just finishing up his own rehearsal and Lance took this as a sign from the universe.  Chris came up silently and poked him, sending Lance jumping feet into the air. The maniacal giggle caught the attention of those on stage and Tim motioned for them to come ahead.  "Hey, guys, we're finished here.  You're next." The two climbed up.  "Listen, Chris, I gotta talk to Tim for a minute.  Don't start without me," Lance laughed. "Jesus, you too?  What the hell.  Anyone gonna let me in on this?" "I'll be right back.  Calm down," Lance said with another laugh, hoping his tone was light enough to sidetrack Chris.  It appeared to be as Chris wandered away to talk to the guys setting up for their rehearsal. Lance ran after Tim and caught up as he was going into one of the dressing rooms.  "Tim, hang on," he called.  Tim stopped and waited.  Lance took a deep breath and forged ahead, as his grandfather would say. "Could I talk to you for a minute?  Privately?" Lance asked somewhat breathlessly. "Sure.  Come on in," Tim replied, the uncertainty hidden under the self-discipline.  He grabbed a bottle of water and threw himself into a chair.  Lance perched nervously on the other one and cleared his throat. "Justin looked miserable this morning and I saw you going into his room last night and I was just wondering what's going on between you." Tim smiled, "Have you asked him?" "Well, I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing.  But I know that's a lie." Tim shook his head.  Justin needed a teacher. "So, you're asking me.  What do you *think* is going on?" Lance never stuttered anymore, but this man made him stutter.  There was something powerful about him, commanding.  Shit, if they were fucking, he wanted some, too.  He started.  "Well, he's been... different... since... the Bahamas–more... mature, more.... controlled.  At least until last night.  We know.... you two....um.... spent a lot of time together there." Tim simply nodded, encouraging him to continue.  So Lance did, outlining his observations.  Tim was only half-aware, his mind focused elsewhere.  Can I trust him?  He showed guts to come here like this.  He's a strong man, good southern values, and he's whip smart.  He put all of this together.  More important, he knows Justin and obviously cares about him.  Most vital, he has the self-control the baby is still lacking. At some point, Tim realized that Lance had stopped talking and was sitting quietly, waiting for a response.  Tim stood and said briskly, "We can't talk about this now.  We both have places to go. Meet me in my room, 918, before the show." Lance needed to know what Tim had to say so he agreed.  The men shook hands and parted.  Lance went back out front.  The others had all arrived and it was certain from Justin's questioning look that Chris had told him where Lance had gone. Justin still looked miserable and Lance had no more information than before.  He wanted to erase the sadness, ease whatever it was.  But until Tim told him, he wouldn't know what *it* was.  Rehearsal went reasonably well, Justin making the most mistakes.  Luckily, there was no dance involved or it would have been much worse. They had the afternoon to themselves and Justin pointedly ignored Lance, choosing to hang with Chris.  He hoped the energy of the little elf would wear off on him and lift the depression.  It was hard to think about Tim when Chris was running around in his usual manic mode, entertaining guests and press, as well as Justin. Lance went to his room and worked.  It was difficult since his mind kept fighting to go over and over the old ground.  But Lance's self- discipline paid off and he accomplished what he had to.  He also managed to call Laura and check in, reassured when she said everything was all right. A shower and he was ready early to go to Tim's room.  He paced in front of the windows, the possibilities lining up in his mind.  They had a sexual relationship and Tim broke it off.  They had a sexual relationship and Brit found out and threatened to rip J's balls off, so he broke it off.  It wasn't sexual, just friends, close friends.  They were writing the song together that would get Justin his coveted Grammy. He glanced at his watch.  Five more minutes.  Maybe if he walked down, he could drag it out.  Nah, too much chance of teenies in the stairwell.  He laughed at the thought of missing his date with Tim because he was cornered on the stairs. He finally gave up and took the elevator, standing outside Tim's room for a full two minutes before he knocked, exactly on time.  Tim opened the door and motioned him in, indicating the table by the window. Tim began.  "So you told me what you've seen.  Now tell me what you've concluded from it." Lance swallowed hard, not sure how to phrase it.  "Justin ...um... cares...for you.  You've become friends." He watched Tim's eyes for any flicker that would indicate it was more, but there was no change. "Yes.  We are friends, I guess." "*Close* friends?" Lance asked, hoping that Tim would read between the words. "Um, yes, close *friends*." Shit, Lance thought, what does *that* mean?  They were waltzing carefully around that particular land mine and Lance had no intention of being the one to step on it. Lance sat back.  He had no where else to go.  Tim would have to tell him or not.  He waited.  Tim pondered his decision one last time.  He had spent most of the afternoon weighing the pros and cons of asking Lance to be Justin's teacher. He knew it was a risk.  He wasn't positive about Lance's sexual orientation but he got enough vibes from the five of them to be somewhat confident.  Shit.  Justin learned somewhere.  More important, it was a big responsibility, changing the dynamics of the group forever if he agreed. Still, Justin needed someone desperately and Tim admired the young man in front of him. "Lance, I want to explain and ask you something." Lance remained silent, simply nodding.  Tim liked that. "You're right.  It is a *special * relationship." Tim started.  Then he went on to fill Lance in on what the relationship was, leaving out some of the details.  Lance's eyes widened as he imagined Justin submitting himself to this man's will.  Tim outlined the process and the goal and told Lance that he was impressed with Justin's progress. Lance listened as Tim described how he saw the Daddy/son relationship– the kind father who sometimes needs to set limits for his boy.  And while it might seem harsh, the context was always caring and loving.  Initially, Lance was taken aback, the kinkiness making him slightly uncomfortable.  But as Tim continued, Lance felt the hardening in his groin as the visual of a vulnerable Justin excited him and the discomfort faded. "But, there is a major problem," Tim said.  Lance held his breath for the next sentence.  "I can't do it anymore.  Our paths don't cross often enough.  Faith and I are gonna be new parents again. It just can't work." Lance nodded, realizing that Tim must have told Justin last night.  "You told him.  That's why he's so upset." "Yeah." Tim hoped Lance would put two and two together without him having to spell it out.  When Lance's mouth dropped open, Tim was relieved. "You want *me* to take over?" Lance squeaked. "You have all the qualities, boy.  All the ones he needs, the ones his daddies didn't give him." Lance felt a tightening in his dick.  Justin being his boy, submitting to his control.  It was dizzying. But the ramifications were enormous.  "Does he want me?" "I needed to ask you first.  I will ask him if you agree.  You understand that it is mutual, don't you?  You are not trying to hurt him, even if it is so easy sometimes." Lance swallowed and nodded.  Tim continued, "He needs a Daddy, a teacher.  He needs to learn. You are with him so much.  You can see his errors and correct him.  He wants that, Lance." Tim realized that he was pleading and stopped.  "It's up to you.  Want a little while to think about it?" Lance shook his head.  He loved Justin and if Justin trusted Tim to make that decision, then he would do it for Justin.  "I'll do it if he agrees." Tim stood and hugged the younger man.  "He's a good boy.  It will work out.  Come to his room tonight at 11:30.  Okay?" Lance nodded.  He felt disembodied as he left and went to find the others.  They were waiting in JC's room for him.  He pulled himself together when he saw the four expressions. "Everyone is getting too fucking weird," Chris cried.  "First Justin, now you.  What the hell?  Have you become pod people?" "What the fuck  are you talking about, Chris?" Lance demanded. "You, man.  You look dazed.  Where have you been?" "Are we ready?" Lance ignored the question and the look on Justin's face.  Now he knew and he shared Justin's pain, wanting to comfort him, tell him it would be okay.  But that was for later.  "Let's go." The sound and the lights rolled over them.  Another show, another award. When they went backstage to get ready for their number, Lance touched Justin.  He knew Tim hadn't asked but he wanted Justin to know he had a friend, no matter what the final decision was. "Any time you need me, Justin.  You know that." Justin's smile was real.  The first one in a while. When they turned to climb into the contraption they were using, Justin caught sight of Tim.  His smile faded.  Then they were on, singing from the top of the room. [ things change three ] [ things change menu ]