| Chapter 15 Amazing, fucking amazing. If Justin had on the sweater JC had given him, it would be too fucking eerie for words. Justin remained in the hall, stunned into paralysis, until Lance dragged him inside, laughing at Justin's expression. "What is it?" he giggled. Justin just waved his hand, unable to speak, taking in the candles and the table set for two. A delicious smell came from the kitchen and Justin's head swam. Lance started to look concerned, afraid he had come on too strong. "Jus, you okay?" he asked, his anxiety clear. When Justin still didn't speak, Lance bit his lip and said, "Forget this. I'm sorry. Let me put on the lights and turn off..." "What?" Justin finally said. Lance was already blowing out the candles, his face flushed, when Justin caught his arm, saying softly, "No, leave everything. It's perfect." "Then what....?" Lance trailed off, confusion replacing the embarrassment. "I ...uh...I ....kind of ....imagined ...something like this....once...." Justin stammered. "Really?" Lance smiled. "Really. It kinda freaked me to see it real like this." Justin smiled back, "But good freaked." He leaned in and kissed Lance, pulling him close and letting him feel his desire. "Oh shit, Justin, want to skip dinner?" "That's not the way it went," Justin laughed, "But it works for me." Lance grinned, "It'll keep" and he disappeared into the kitchen for two minutes. When he returned, he grabbed Justin and said, "Now, where were we?" "Hmmm. I think we were about to get into some serious sex. Shall we adjourn to the other room?" Lance nodded and followed Justin, smiling at Justin's gasp when he took in the tableau. It had been transformed. Candles were everywhere, the flickering light casting deep shadows. Music was softly playing, some romantic instrumental piece that sent shivers up Justin's spine. Best of all were the black silk sheets that invited them to get naked and slide across, the sensual texture adding to the overall effect. Justin was awed. "Wow. You did all this this afternoon?" "To celebrate, baby. Life. Us." Justin whirled around and faced Lance, his eyes focused and shiny, wanting to believe that there would be an "us", today and forever. Lance returned the gaze, willing Justin to let down the walls, willing his own walls to *stay* down. "Us." Justin rolled the word around in his mouth, savoring it, an impossible treat like caviar or truffles. Us. A connection of lives that didn't mean pain or humiliation. He wanted it so badly, his breath hitched, tiny gasps betraying his emotions. Lance tried to read the younger boy, tried to guess what he was thinking. Justin hesitated another moment and reached for the hem of Lance's shirt, "Let this be the start of us, Lance and Justin, the real Justin." Lance breathed in relief as Justin pulled the shirt over his head and lapped at the exposed nipples, teasing them into rosy peaks, moaning as he felt the shiver go through Lance. Justin backed the older boy to the bed , pushing him onto his back. He took off their shoes and socks and urged Lance to slide backward on the smooth material. Justin straddled him, his already hard dick pressing into him, causing the older boy to writhe under the pressure. Lance's jeans now felt like a prison, his hard dick painfully encased in the unforgiving denim. " Please, Justin, let me take off....." but Justin silenced him with a deep kiss as his tongue searched the dark warmth, savoring the taste that was Lance alone. He watched Lance's Adam's apple bob convulsively when he shifted his weight and forced himself down harder. "Oh, God, Justin...." He pulled back and finished undressing Lance, smacking his hands away when he tried to help. When Justin finally removed the denim material and briefs, Lance's sigh of relief was audible and he smiled as Justin stripped and resettled himself on the older boy. "So now what?" Lance breathed, gasping as Justin's erection rubbed his. Justin looked down, wanting to extend this, to bring them both slowly to a peak. But slow wasn't in his repertoire. All of the other sex he had ever had was quick and rough and to the point. Suddenly the dominant lover looked confused, not sure where to go next. Lance took his hands and licked the palms, one after the other, watching carefully as Justin's face shifted once again, the pleasure of that sensual action written clearly there. "Get off, baby," Lance said quietly and Justin did, looking dejected at his failure to please. Lance stood and whispered, "I love you. Do you know that?" Justin searched the green eyes and nodded. "Good. Then lie down." Those words froze Justin for a moment and he hesitated. Lance bit his lip and waited until Justin lay down. His lover could see the fear in the slight trembling of his muscles and in the involuntary clenching of his fists by his sides. His eyes were closed and his breathing had quickened. "Open your eyes, Justin," Lance said. "Do you love me?" Justin nodded, wide blue eyes staring into Lance's. "Trust me. I would never hurt you." Justin swallowed hard, telling himself to believe it. "Now keep your eyes open, ok?" And Lance started, his lips and his tongue arousing every nerve ending Justin had. He straddled the younger boy and took his hand, licking the palm again and then sucking Justin's fingers slowly until Justin started to pant and move restlessly beneath Lance. Lance's breathing was erratic, the slow sensual quality of this connection filling his senses. Lance dropped Justin's hand and moved back to his mouth, tasting and licking and filling Justin with desire. He moved along Justin's neck and the younger boy arched, exposing a long line of skin that Lance sucked on, biting gently, loving the gasps of pleasure he was drawing from Justin. The blond head moved down to the nipples that were already hard little nubs, just waiting to be touched. He moved between them, nipping and licking and swirling them as Justin breathed his name, "Oh Lance, oh God...." Lance raised Justin's arms over his head, stretching them out. He felt the tension, the fear reappear. "It's ok, baby, it's ok," he whispered. He drew his tongue along the inside of Justin's arm, the soft skin tingling under the gentle assault. When he moved to the other arm, Justin relaxed, "Yes, oh God, yes." Lance lapped at Justin, creating a surge that begged for completion. Justin caught Lance's hair and slid his fingers through the blond strands, tugging slightly to move Lance down, but Lance's low laugh was the only response. "Oh please, Lance," Justin begged, his entire body on fire and his dick sending out frantic signals for attention. Justin reached for his cock and Lance pushed his hand away, grabbing his fingers and twining them in his own. "Don't touch, baby, just feel it, let it happen," Lance murmured, wanting Justin to relax into the moment. He looked up at Justin's face, beautiful as always. He crawled down to the bottom of the bed and started from the bottom this time, licking his way up, finding the sensitive skin on Justin's inner thighs. Justin groaned in frustration, "Lance, soon...." "Soon, Jus, soon," he whispered onto his skin, warm breath flowing over Justin. Justin arched as Lance's lips wrapped themselves around his erection. But after a few swirls, Lance drew back once again and smiled watching as Justin begged mindlessly, the long fingers clutching the silk, scrabbling for control. Lance went into the drawer and got out the lube and condom and smoothly prepared himself. "Relax, baby," he grinned knowing that was the last thing on earth Justin could do at that moment. Justin reached for him and Lance whipped back, away from the greedy arms. Justin moaned, "You are so mean." "It feels good, doesn't it?" Lance asked, his low voice causing Justin to shiver. "Make it last." He leaned back into Justin and gently inserted a finger into him, two, then three, a mild sadness that so many others had hurt Justin instead of loving him. He was used to it and it didn't take long to stretch him. Lance entered slowly and stopped, looking directly into Justin's eyes as he waited. Justin nodded, a long please forced from him again. From there, neither remembered much, just a wild tangle of bodies, grunting, pushing in deep over and over until the second when they came, an orgasm that lifted them beyond what they ever believed possible, shouted names and fucks, holding on to it for precious moments as they slid into a bliss unknown before. Lance collapsed onto Justin, ragged breathing and whispered endearments, an amazement at what they had given one another. He rolled off and faced Justin. The younger boy lay, his eyes closed, a sated smile obvious, but something else, something Lance couldn't read. "What is it, baby?" Justin turned to him and opened his eyes, tears shimmering but refusing to fall. "Oh God, did I ..." "Ummm...it was perfect. It was what I always wanted my first time to be," Justin said so quietly that Lance had to lean over to catch the words as they floated into the air. Lance's heart caught, a sharp wrench as he realized all that Justin had suffered. "It was perfect for me, too. *You* made it perfect. I love you, Justin." They never did get out of bed so Justin never found out if Lance was truly a Martha Stewart clone as he had fantasized. But what they did do went way beyond anything Justin could ever have imagined. The room filled with the scent of sex and intoxicated them over and over, each seeking to outdo the other in giving pleasure. When they finally fell asleep, it was in a sweaty tangle of arms and legs that symbolized that they were finally a pair, a couple, an us. They never heard the other two come in, Joey's laugh as he saw the uneaten meal, James's sniff about having to clean up in the morning. "Lighten up, James. Haven't you ever been in love?" Joey said before James huffed into bed. Joey lay on the couch, arms locked behind his head and thanked God that Lance and Justin had found one another. The marathon lovemaking threatened to continue the next morning, but Justin's stomach grumbled so loudly that Lance joked that he would wake up the other two with the noise if Lance didn't feed him quickly. They tiptoed into the kitchen, boxers barely hiding their hard-ons, and grabbed some cereal, carrying the bowls back to bed. They sat opposite one another, eating, each wondering separately what was different this morning. "Are you sorry, Justin?" Lance finally asked and ducked his head, studying the bowl holding the now mushy mess. "No. Are you?" Justin asked. "No. Totally not sorry. Totally fucking happy. Totally fucking amazed. Want me to keep going?" Lance laughed looking up into Justin's face. It was so innocent, so vulnerable, that Lance almost choked. "Me, too," Justin whispered. "There were nights when I'd come back to Lynn all cut up and bruised and I'd ask her why they did it to me, what was wrong with me that people only wanted to make me cry. She told me that there was someone out there who would love me and not want to hurt me." "I didn't believe her until I met you. When I woke up this morning, I couldn't believe that we were here, together, an us. That last night even happened." The bowls were put aside and they began again, a slow sweet session of lovemaking, Lance teaching Justin the difference between that and what he knew. Justin, a fast study, blew Lance away with his gifted tongue and his fierce desire to connect to Lance in every way possible. They lay in one another's embrace, whispering truths that they hadn't shared, taking more risks with each passing moment, continuing the process of building the trust between them. They slept and woke and had sex and ate and had sex and showered and had sex, until Lance laughed and asked if anyone could tell how much sex you had by looking at you. A shadow crossed Justin's face before he replied quietly, "Maybe." Lance kissed away the sadness, chiding himself mentally but realizing that these traps would be there for a long time and that he couldn't avoid all of them, even with the best intentions. Somewhere around seven, Lance suggested going out to Joey's even though he was limping by this time. "You sure?" Justin asked, "cuz I'm okay staying here." "Not for long, just to change the scenery." "I like the scenery," Justin said, the sexual tone a gong in Lance's brain. But Lance just grinned and got up, dragging the younger boy to the shower. James passed them in the hall, distaste written on his face. Lance stuck out his tongue to James's back and yelled, "We're conserving water." Justin was quiet in the bathroom and Lance noticed, "Is this all right, Justin?" "Uh-huh," he replied, stripping and climbing into the shower. "Then what is it?" "Why doesn't he like me?" Justin asked and in an even softer voice, he added, "Is it because I'm a hooker?" Lance was shocked. The water pelted down on them, effectively masking any tears of Justin's. "No, baby, he doesn't not like you." "That's not true. I just want to know why, what I've done." Lance's eyebrows knitted together, a frown forming, "I never thought about it. He's always like that, a dorky asshole who has the money for rent every month and if you move in..." Justin looked up, startled, "Move in?" "Well, maybe not this minute, but I guess I thought ..." Lance trailed off miserably. Another pothole on the road to happy destiny. Justin turned away overcome. Until that moment, the idea that his old life was over had not really been a reality. He had assumed deep down that this whole modeling thing would fall apart, another disappointment in a long line, and that he would have to go back to the corner, leaving Lance behind. Lance mustered his courage and turned Justin to face him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rush things. It's just that having you here is so wonderful that I want it all the time. Selfish, I know, but..." Justin cut off the words with a kiss, trying to convey what he knew he couldn't say out loud. Lance wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew Justin wasn't upset with him. That kiss certainly telegraphed that message. Lance returned the kiss and moved down licking away the water that streamed down Justin's neck. When he lapped at Justin's nipples, he was rewarded with a gasp and Justin moved back against the wall, unsure of his balance as he got lost in the sensations. Lance looked up and grinned, "Shall we come back later?" Justin grunted and they went to the bedroom, trailing drips of water in the hall. Once inside, Lance pulled Justin to him again and they resumed where they had left off, water from Justin's curls wetting the carpet. "Fuck, Justin, how do you do this?" Lance murmured as he pushed his lover backward toward the rumpled bed. Justin was too oblivious to process the comment, just nipping and licking wherever he could reach. Lance began again, kissing down the line of fine hair, past the belly button and down until Justin's dick was there, dripping with precum, waiting for him. He took it in, or at least as much as he could and Justin arched into him, whispering his name like a prayer. Lance grasped the cock at the base and sucked, his own dick responding with every sensual move. "Can I come?" Justin forced out between clenched teeth and Lance stopped, his heart thudding in his chest. It hurt to hear Justin ask, to need permission to receive the pleasure. Lurid pictures of Justin asking and being denied flashed through and Lance felt tears start. "Yes, baby, yes," Lance answered and was rewarded when Justin arched again and came, shooting his cum into Lance who swallowed greedily, wanting all that was this boy. They collapsed together, Lance laying next to Justin, whose breathing was still erratic. Lance's erection was throbbing but he lay still, marveling at Justin and wishing that he could undo all the pain of his past. Justin's eyes fluttered open and he smiled, unaware what Lance was thinking. "What about you? My turn, Lance." Lance's brain wanted to talk but his dick said no, so he smiled at Justin and said, "My pleasure." Justin worked his usual magic, bringing Lance to the edge quickly and keeping him there, torturing him with teasing touches until he begged loudly, sure that James would have a comment later. "Okay, okay," Justin laughed and finished him off, Lance shouting fuck for the neighbors to hear. They lay together afterwards, dozing and listening to one another's breathing, content for the moment. It was after nine when they woke again. Lance still wanted to go out but he needed to straighten out for himself what had happened before. "Jus, can I ask you something?" "Umm. What?" Justin replied, still drowsy. "Why did you ask if you could come?" "What?" Justin asked, more awake now. Then the light dawned and he looked upset, "Did I? I don't remember." "Yeah, right before. You were there and you asked..." "Umm, yeah," Justin said with his eyes closed, " A habit, I guess." "A habit?" Lance asked with incredulity in his voice. "Do you really want to know?" He was staring at Lance now. When Lance didn't respond, he took that as a yes and continued, "The johns, especially the ones that, you know, would get me all hot and bothered and then make me wait, beg mostly, and even then, ...." He stopped when he saw the shimmering in Lance's eyes, "It's ok, Lance." "No, it's not ok. How could they hurt you like that?" Lance said, looking at Justin's beautiful face. "You never need to ask me. I want you to be happy, just like I am." "Thanks," Justin replied softly. Lance changed the subject, wanting to lighten the mood, "Shall we try the shower again and go get a burger at Joey's?" "Sure, but I can't promise to keep ..." "Yes, you can, Justin," Lance said, his grin giving the lie to the stern voice. They managed to get through the shower and the burger and even a few drinks without too much problem but as they sat there at the bar, staring at one another, it became important once again to be alone. It turned out to be a long but wonderful night. continue menu |