Three weeks.. my own feelings.
I know I haven't been writing anything too personal on this website since April 1.. I tried not to express too much of my own feelings, and tried my best to just summarize and report the news articles in a neutral way. I hope it's been useful to all of you non-Chinese reading fans who found it hard to get hold of news.. And I hope everyone is dealing with it ok.

For me.. April 1st has been one big, big, big blow..... I totally didn't know..and still don't know how to react. How to go on now, living on without Leslie..? He's been there for too long... these 3 weeks I've been trying to continue with my normal activities.. going to school, going out with friends, talking, eating... I'm "OK" at least on the outside.. but deep inside, at a place where people around me don't notice.. it seems like a part has been ripped out of me.. some part deep down inside my heart is bleeding, bleeding.........

Leslie has been there, part of my life, for too long.. every single song of his associates to different bits and pieces in my life. Too many memories.. Now he's suddenly gone.. what to do? Nothing more to look forward to.. I feel lost...

I've been feeling painful about two things. One is obviously the fact that we've now lost him, and that he's gone.. a big, big loss.. the second thing, is the fact that we never realized he was in such great pain in the past half a year. All the time he seemed relatively happy whenever he appeared in front of the media.. but he was actually feeling so painful, so tortured by depression, and so lonely so desperate inside that he was determined to end his life...

*sigh*....

I still can't let go. His songs kept on ringing on in my heart.. yet this world is cruel. Everyone, everything forces you to move on.. "life has to move on".. they all say. Yes I know. 3 weeks have passed.. people are talking less and less about him. The crowd (especially the HK crowd) switch their attention awfully fast.. there's just way too many things to capture their attention, too many things going on at the same time. It's cruel that you're not even allowed to be upset over the same thing for too long.... though I believe that the pain will be gradually eroded away with time... but I know, I'll always, always, always miss him so, so, so much.

Theatres showing gor gor's films for free
Two film companies (Thompson and Oriental Entertainment) had decided to show several of gor gor's films for free at theatres in order to let fans gather and remember gor gor from the big screen once again. "Farewell my concubine" was shown at two theatres on April 18 in Causeway bay - seats were limited, each person were only allowed one ticket. And all those who enter would be given a "farewell my concubine" movie poster. And on April 20 and 21, during the Easter weekend, five movies will be shown in Tsim Sa Tsui, "All's well ends well", "the Chinese feast", "Bride with White hair", "Phantom love"..

Fans lining up before dawn to get in
on April 18 the JP theatre in Causeway bay were to show "Farewell my concubuine" at 9:15pm and 9:30pm, and have let in 520 audience to watch for free. The Thompson film company even specially designed a set of entrance tickets, with the two main characters inside the movie, to let the fans keep for memory. The first group of fans at the front of the line-up arrived at 6 in the morning already. It was 2pm when the film company distributed the free tickets. Most of the fans who went had already seen "Farewell my concubine" many times, this time they just wanted to recall gor gor's splendor on the big screen.

Since there were too many people, the theatre was all crowded.. the line-up got as many as 700+ people. But the crowd behaved well and the order was good. It took less than 20 minutes for the tickets to be all distributed.

Interview after making "Farewell.."
DJ Cha Siu-Yan, who had known gor gor for many many years, at her morning radio program played the interview clip that gor gor did after filming "Farewell my concubine". At that time gor gor said that he got totally into the movie already by the time they were half-way through the making, and that even his way of walking became elegant and beautiful. Even his heart and attitude had some surprising changes too, hard to be described. He thought it was a great honour to be able to take part in this film - and that after the several months of filming it in Beijing, he felt lost that it was done. After gor gor went back to Canada, he needed friends to accompany him in playing sports and travelling to recover his mood.

Gor gor's CDs filling the best-sellers chart
Since a lot of record companies are releasing memorial songs-collection CDs, on this week's HMV best-sellers chart, out of the top 20 places, gor gor's CDs took up 9 of the places, making a record. The top seller out of those 9 is the "Final Encounter" concert.

Mrs Chan asks people to leave Mr.Tong alone
Ever since April 1, the press have been keeping a close watch on Mr.Tong. After the funeral took place, the press have been spotting Mr.Tong, saying that he has been very worn out, had no appetite, got much more skinnier..etc etc.. one magazine even took a photo of him on the 14th (what was thought to be the "night of the returning of the spirit") of him looking messy and terribly worn out. Regarding to that, Mrs Chan sighs, "having a photo of that, so what?? Please just leave him alone!"

It was said that good friends have been coming in to accompany Mr.Tong everyday, hoping to divert his attention, and that after much persuasion from friends, Tong had started to eat a bit again.

Anita Mui returning from Shanghai
Anita returned to Hong Kong several days ago from Shanghai quietly. Reports say that after several days of resting and calming down, Anita was able to walk on her own without friends supporting, but there was still sadness in her expression.

She was seen walking out the airport wearing a mask and no make-up, carrying a handbag with her assistant. A large group of fans came and surrounded her, asking if she was alright. Anita returned them with nods and smiles, thanking them. The fans even acted as her bodyguards and assisted her out from the airport to the carpark. After Anita got onto her car, she waved goodbye to the fans.

It was said that during her time in Shanghai, apart from going out for meals, Anita stayed in her hotel room most of the time to rest, watch TV and talk on the phone with friends. It was also said she also met up with director Kwan Kam-Pang ("Rouge"'s director). It was also said that Anita continued to chant the Buddhist prayers everyday for gor gor throughout her time in Shanghai and after she's come back to HK.

After resting 2 or 3 days back in HK, she'll start preparing for her concert tour that'd last from July til October; she'll be touring around in many places inside mainland China. In November she'll be holding the grand finale at the HK stadium. It's not been decided yet if she will have a section relating to gor gor in her concert.