The Emotions of Loving a Man
What people don't understand about love is that no one can tell you exactly what to do or how to deal with it when it comes your way. No matter how much other people try to inform you, nothing can prepare you for the long hall of events that are beginning to occur right in front of your eyes. It's like you wake up one morning and every emotion, that was once waiting at the bottom of your stomach, is spilling over the top of your entire being.
"How would you react if I went away to college?" Troy asked me hesitantly. He often looked at me for a response but oddly starred straight ahead.
"Well, I wouldn't push you away like Diandra did to Terrence. I would try my best to deal with the distance and see how it goes from there. It also depends on how far away you go. Don't you think so?" I said slowly hoping that next year he would choose a university close to New York.
"No because if it's going to work then it really isn't that big a deal."
Troy and I were going out for five months during June 1998. He and I started to get very serious about our relationship. We always discussed events that we've seen other couples argue or break-up over. The constant communicaion between us is one of our key elements to success in love.
"I'm going to visit the University of Charleston in West Virginia this week-end." Troy told me nonchalontly. It was the first semest of his senoir year.
"O.K." I said, returning the a dull response. Why is he going to visit that school? He couldn't possibly do that to me; was what I was thinking.
"Baby, the University of Charleston was so beautiful! I loved it there." Troy said, almost shouting. hopefully they give me the room and board scholarship I applied for."
How am I supposed to deal with all of this at once? Troy: my love, my best friend, my companion for almost a year is accually thinking about leaving me.
Early one summer day, Troy Perry, my love of one year and six months, carried out an overwhelming decision. August 17,1999 he moved to Charleston, West Virginia from our home-town of Jamaica, New York.
"Packed and ready to go?" I asked Troy as he stood in front of my house early August morning. We sat on the porch in silence for awhile contemplating the lonliness we were beginning to feel.
"I'll call you as soon as I get there." He said starring at me with his beautiful almond eyes.
Finally the time came for my love to go. The van with all Troy's belongings were waiting for him. Saying good-bye was like holding a new born baby for the first time and never wanting to let go.
I had to...I had to let him go. Let him explore and maybe then he would experience all the pain I was going through. We can do it and if he truely loves me he will come back.
"I love you Joyce."
"I love you too."
emailme
ŠJoyce Dennison 2000
|
