It was sometime around noon when I realized that I hadn’t gone to work or even called to let them know that I wouldn’t be in. I wasn’t sure what surprised me more, the fact that I’d forgotten about my responsibilities or the fact that no one else had been in to see Justin yet. I needed to get up and stretch, my legs were cramped and my neck felt stiff.

“I’ll be back sunshine.” I told him as I stood up and finally let my fingers break their contact with his.

I went outside and lit a cigarette, and then turned my cell phone on. Ignoring the message light, I dialed the office and talked to Cynthia. She’d already covered for me, telling the other partners that I’d called in sick. What would I do without her?

Turning off the phone I took another hit off my cigarette before crushing it out and heading back inside. I wanted to be there when Justin’s doctor came in. I had some questions and I knew he’d have the answers.

I’d only been back a few minutes when the door behind me opened. I turned and saw Melanie walking in; she stopped and stared at me in shock.

“Brian, what are you doing here?”

“Holding Justin’s fucking hand. What does it look like?”

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she looked over and saw his hand in mine.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” She was taking in my appearance. I was sure that I was a sight.

“I called in sick.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Since last night.” She was starting to get on my nerves with her twenty questions.

“Where’s Gus?” She asked remembering that he’d stayed with me last night.

“I’m assuming he’s at school.”

“You don’t KNOW?”

“Christ Melanie, he’s seventeen years old. I don’t think he needs an escort to school. He can get there just fine on his own.”

“Irresponsible.” I hear her mutter under her breath.

“Whatever.” I shoot back at her. I feel Justin’s fingers tighten slightly against mine again.

“He’s waking up.” I say it quietly, I need for someone else to believe it, but I’m not sure that Melanie is the person I want to share my news with.

“What?” She looks at me like I’m insane.

“Brian….” She seems to be at a loss for words.

“I’m sure of it Mel.”

“How can you be sure of it? He looks the same to me.”

I shake my head.

“His fingers… I can feel them moving…” She puts her hand on my shoulder.

“Brian, the doctor already explained to us that it’s just a reflex when he moves like that.”

I shake my head.

“I can feel it ok?”

“I know you can… because I’ve felt it too. His fingers twitch, his legs, he moves his head… but that’s been happening since the beginning. It’s only a reflex Brian.”

“No Mel, I mean I can feel it inside of me. I know he’s waking up don’t ask me to explain it, it’s just something that I know.”

“Maybe ten years ago, I would have believed that. You two hardly even speak now. You want me to believe that you still have that kind of connection?”

I wince at her words. She doesn’t know how I feel and it’s none of her damn business. I change the subject and give her my best hardened look.

“Do you know Gus is having nightmares?”

“What?”

“Every night, every damn night, I saw him last night, he woke up terrified. What kind of mother doesn’t even notice that? He’s not eating… and you and Lindsay don’t even see that for what it is. He’s a fucking wreck.”

“So you leave him alone and come here?” She’s staring at me with an angry disbelieving look about her.

“No, I didn’t leave him alone. I brought him here after he calmed down. He wanted to… no needed to see Justin he said. I’ve been here ever since, and what I want to know is, where in the hell is everyone? What if he wakes up alone? Doesn’t anyone care?”

“Fuck you Brian. WE care. We’ve worked out a schedule. Lindsay comes on Monday, Michael takes Tuesday, Emmett’s here on Wednesday, I handle Thursday, Ted checks on him on Friday and we all take shifts during the weekend. We’ve been here for him since day one. You show up last night and suddenly you want to know what’s going on. We have it handled Brian…. SO FUCK YOU!!!!!”

“NO FUCK YOU, MEL. You come in for what? Ten minutes, an hour?”

“It’s more than you’ve been here.” I can feel myself starting to shake. I’m losing control probably from three weeks of sleep deprivation, or maybe it’s her words that are hitting me.

“Is IT?” I scream back at her. My voice sounds strange, almost like it’s not me talking. What the fuck does she know? I’ve been here since the first night and I’ve spent a hell of a lot more time here than any of them put together.

“Christ! I’ve been here Mel every single night. I’ve spent more time here than ANY of you. So fuck off! Even Gus is here more than any of you. He comes down every morning and sits with Justin before school. He fuckin’ cares. Why don’t his friends?”

She looks at me and her face softens. It must be because I’ve mentioned our son, I’m not sure, but I’m not really liking the way she’s looking at me. She takes in a deep breath and comes over to me. I feel her leading me toward the chair I was sitting in. I sit down exhausted. She hands me a Kleenex and I’m not sure why.

“Wipe your tears tough guy. I won’t tell anyone.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I look at her confused.

“Just wipe your eyes Brian.” I do as she says and we sit there in silence. I take Justin’s hand in mine again and just stare at him. I must be losing my mind now, because I’m positive that his eyes are open.

“Mel?”

“Yeah Brian?” She’s still watching me in that concerned motherly way she watches Gus.

“Look.” I say, never taking my eyes off of Justin.

“Oh my God.” She’s moving closer to the bed now.

“You see it too?” She’s nodding as I look up at her.

“Justin. Can you hear me?” I’m standing above him now, making sure that I’m in his line of sight. His eyes are open and he’s just staring straight ahead. His head turns a little almost as if he’s trying to get a better look at us.

“Justin, sweetie we’re here for you.” Melanie is standing right next to me. She’s rubbing his shoulder now in the same fashion that I’m rubbing his hand. Anything to let him know we’re there.

He doesn’t say a word, just blinks and looks confused. After about five minutes he closes his eyes and appears to be sleeping again. My legs won’t let me stand any longer and I fall back into the chair next to him.

“I fucking told you.”

“Yeah. You did.”

“He’s waking up Mel. Where in the hell is his doctor?”

“Maybe I should go get someone.”

I nod and just watch Justin sleeping as Melanie goes off toward the nurses station.

To be continued.