I’ve been staring at this same page for over an hour. It seems no matter how many times I read it; I just can’t concentrate on it. I keep seeing my blonde boy laying there fighting for his life. He’s not mine, I tell myself. He hasn’t been for a long time.

My stomach rumbles a bit, and I realize it’s well past lunch time. It’s just as well; I’m not in the mood to eat. Nothing wants to stay down anyway lately. Why did I even come into work today? My new client, that’s why. I look up at the clock, another forty five minutes before that meeting takes place. If all goes well, I’ll be out of here in two hours.

Rubbing the palm of my hand against my face roughly, I yawn. Maybe I need some coffee, yeah that should help. I get up and start to head to my office door, when it swings open. I take a step back as I see Mikey walking toward me. I move back toward my desk and perch myself on the edge of it.

“Hey Mikey.” Even at forty-seven, a part of me still feels about fourteen whenever I’m around Michael.

“Hey Yourself.” He’s smiling and somehow I feel myself smile too. That feels good; I haven’t felt much like smiling lately. “You feel like grabbing a late lunch? Cynthia says you haven’t eaten yet.”

I shake my head. “Naw, I can’t. Got a big client meeting in forty five minutes.”

“Come on…” He’s looking at me and I can see the concern in his eyes now. How had I missed that before? Mikey’s not that good at covering his motives. “we can grab something quick.”

“Michael what are you doing here?” I give him my best ‘don’t bullshit me’ look.

He sighs and breaks, like he always does. “I’m worried about you Brian.”

“Worried about me? Now why would you do that?” I turned away from him and pretended to be looking for something on my desk. I felt his hand rest gently on my back, and I closed my eyes. I let out a sigh and turned to look him in the eyes.

“I’m fine Mikey, now go back to work. Your clientele should be getting out of school soon. Don’t want to miss the after school crowd.” He shook his head and I knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’re not fine Brian. Have you taken a look at yourself? You look like shit.”

“I’m forty, Mikey. How else am I supposed to look?” Michael laughed.

“Forty seven, Brian.” I forced a smile.

“Whatever.”

“I’m serious Brian. What’s wrong with you? You look like you haven’t sleep in days.”

I stood up and walked back around my desk and sat in my chair. “Too busy to sleep, Mikey. You know me always on the go.”

I began shuffling through the file in front of me on the desk. Michael just stood there watching me. I knew he was pouting, before I even looked up at him.

“Now really Mikey, I have work to do. As soon my meeting’s finished I’m going home for a little nap before I go out tonight.” I smiled one of my best ‘I’m getting laid tonight’ smiles and that somehow reassured him.

“Alright.” He moved toward the door. “I’ll see you tonight maybe? We’re meeting up at Woody’s…”

I nodded. “Yeah, Mikey, sure.” Then I hit the buzzer on my desk.

“Yes?” Cynthia answered.

“Coffee… I need coffee.” I could hear her mumbling a little under her breath as I was saying it, but she brought it in smiling a few minutes later.

“You ready to wow them?” I smirked and nodded.

“I’m always ready to wow.”

“Uh huh.”

The file in front of me was boring. This product was boring. Christ these people would probably be boring. How in the hell am I going to manage to stay awake through it all?

Before I know it, I’m walking in and shaking hands with a group of men. I know I wouldn’t be able to pick any of them out of a lineup afterwards if I had to. Shit, my concentration was off, so I started in with my ideas and focused all the energy I had on the layouts in front of the room. The campaign was solid, the idea was good, it would sell their boring shit. As soon as I was done, I turned around to gauge my audience’s reaction.

They all seemed to be nodding and smiling. That’s when I caught sight of the one face that wasn’t smiling, just staring up at me with a look of hatred on his face. I know my face must have registered shock, but I sucked in a small breathe and smiled again looking at everyone else in the room, trying to avoid Craig Taylor’s glares.

The meeting broke up soon after the company’s president proclaimed. “Mr. Kinney, you’ve got yourself a new account.” The customary handshaking over with, they began to leave and I busied myself by gathering up the materials I’d just gone over with them.

The room was quiet now and I sat down completely drained. Lack of sleep for the last three weeks coupled by the sight of Justin’s father was almost more than I could even take.

Our history together was pretty hostile. This was the man that slammed his car into my jeep, and then backed it up so he could slam into it again. The man that sucker punched me to the ground then kicked the hell out of me.

The last time I’d laid eyes on that man, was the day he basically told Justin he’d have to live a lie and deny who he was if he were going to stay in their house. There was no way in hell I was going to leave him there. ‘That’s not love, that’s hate.’ How could he hate Justin? Justin was perfect. Couldn’t he see that? Sure hate me, that’s fine, I don’t give a shit, but Justin did give a shit. I’m sure if you asked him today, ‘he can’t answer today…’ that thought hit me pretty hard… Shit… I’m sure he’d tell you he still cared about his father.

I shook my head trying to push the memories away. When I looked up I was shocked to see him still sitting there. I stood up and glanced his way.

“Is there something else I can do for you?” I said it coldly. He was in my house now, so to speak.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t, he just stared at me. I glared back at him. This asshole didn’t intimidate me. By my calculations, I still owed him an ass kicking, but I wasn’t going to act on it.

“You still fucking disgust me…” He said it angrily and looked as if he wanted to hit me again.

“And YOU disgust me.” I knew I wanted to hit him. Beat the hell out of him, scream at him. Tell him how much he’d hurt Justin. Tell him that Justin might not ever wake up again, and then it’d be too late. He’d never have a chance to change what he’s done. Never be able to let him know that he cared.

My own thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks. Shit, I could have been talking to myself. ‘If he never wakes up.’ Does he know that I care? Has he ever figured out that I did this for him?

I refuse to be in the same room with Craig for another second. I bolted out the door and headed to the men’s room. I stood in front of the sinks, staring into the mirror at myself. I splashed a little water on my face and closed my eyes. Mikey was right, I look like shit.

I stopped by my office long enough to grab my jacket and let Cynthia know I was leaving for the day. I needed some sleep, and some time alone to think.

To be continued.