| A LOVE LETTER |
| MY DEER LADY, I am riting to you becawse a frend of mine told me of yur sitchuashun of being alone. I am alone as well and I wuz hoping we cood get too no eech other better and meet. I am shur yu wood like me once yu get too no me better. I want too be with sum one and Ma thinx its time I had a woman in my life and that I was owt on my own. I am an older man with a good educashun. I was the oldest one in my 8th grade class fur 6 yeers strate and I am in my late 40's. Sometimes I think Ma is too eeger to have me owt on my own but thats probablee just her moods kicking in. She can be tuff to handle but most times shees all rite. I am a good provider as we have plenty of propertee and lots of woods. Pa left me plentee skilld before he dyed. With all the deer arownd we never go hungry and even tho the govurnment puts restrikshuns on the hunting we still sneek it in eny ways. Do yu think big govurnment shood say how a man shood feed his familee? I dont. We have a vegtable garden in the bak that Ma tens tu and I am shur with a bit of tawkintu she will let yu take it over and tentuit. I want yu tu no that I reellee aint got no bad habits. I dont smoke becawse I no how bad that can be for the lungs. Chewin t'bacca is much better I think and if there aint no place to spit it owt then it aint gonna kill ya if yu swallow sum of it. I dont drink nearly as much of the moonshine we make to sell like I used two. Pa cured me of that a long time ago with a whippin on my hide when he cawt me one day. I aint dun it arownd him since. I was tolled yu r one of those big city gurlz from the big city. I live in the hills of Lawng Eyeland and I am sure that yu being from the big city of Pencilvainya wood like going into town alot. I get there bout once a munth miself but we cood go more off ten if yu like. The general store got one of those things yu pass the items over an it tells yu the price. Woo wee!!!! things are reely coming along in town these days. Ma says one day next yeer we goona get the lectric lites like they have in town but she sez that evry yeer. The owthowse is downwind of the one room cabin sew yu dont need tu worree bowt dat at all. Ma also sez we will get indoor plumming one day. I have tu hand it tu her, she is in her 70's and she still brings water up from the well. I am hoping yu cood help her with that. We have lotz of familee arownd so yu aint got to worree abowt being lonelee eether. Pa sez we go back generashuns in theez here parts an I beleeve him tu. Yu can see sew much rezemblance in all the familee members. I heer yu r from that city that has the bell with the crack in it. I dont get why they keep that arownd if its busted. They shood melt it down and make flasks or tools out of it insted. I also heer that the place yu r in is the city wear they sined The Declarashun Of Independants. I have my own independants and Ma didnt make me sine nutin. Du yu like to have fun? I like tu have fun tu. We cood go catch catfish in the lake barehanded, go coon huntin, or look for crawldaddies, and all sorts of other things. I cant wate fur yu to meet Ma. I think she will like ya once she getz tu no yu better. She can be hard at times and meen as a mule but yu just pay her no mind at all. Well I gots sum chors to do sew I will send this off tu yu. I hope yu rite back soon and we can meet one day. It was nice tawkin with yu. Yurs trulee, Junior Oh, I forgot tu tell yu my name in the beginning of this letter. Its Junior. |
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