Sailor moon does Star Wars - A New Hope 2/5
Well, here’s part two - thanks to all the people who
sent feedback - I love you! This fic has become such a
long damn novel that I’ve divided it into 5 parts.
This part is really rough - i had lots of trouble
writing it and it really isn’t much good - and I
apologise for that - the next part will be better - I
promise!! Please read and send feedback if I haven’t
put you off already!
Last time we left Prince Zoisite was being tortured by
Darth Diamond and Lord Setsuna aboard the Pink Star.
Jedeite, Obi-Sapphire and the two bots had arranged to
hitch a ride with Kunzite Solo and Neffybaka - the
latter who was determined to win over Jedeite
Skywalker, who himself was determined to get layed by
anyone BUT said Wookie. Unbeknown to the group however
was the fact that Kunzite Solo was financially in debt
to Darian the Hutt ... and so the story continues
.....
Duo: INTERIOR: PINK STAR -- CONTROL ROOM.
Darth Diamond: His resistance to the mind probe is
considerable. It will be some time before we can
extract any information from him.
An Imperial Officer interrupts the meeting.
Imperial Officer: The final check-out is complete. All
systems are operational. What course shall we set?
Lord Setsuna: Perhaps he would respond to an
alternative form of persuasion.
Darth Vader: What do you mean? We haven’t got results
with Barney, the teletubbies - not even the ENTIRE
cast of Gilligans Island was enough to make him talk.
Lord Setsuna: I think it is time we demonstrate the
full power of this station. (to soldier) Set your
course for Prince Zoisite’s home planet of Alderaan.
Trooper: Course set.
Twenty minutes later.
Darth Diamond: Could someone please tell me why we are
in exactly the same place we were twenty minutes ago?
Trooper: I was awaiting your order sir
Darth Diamond: But I gave you an order!
Trooper: You only told me to set in the course sir -
not to engage.
::Duo: engage? next thing you know it’ll be ‘beam me
up Scotty’::
Darth Diamond: You can’t be that much of an idiot?
Surely?
Trooper: *just blinks*
Darth Diamond: You don’t happen to be related to
Serena the Slutt, consort of Darian the Hutt do you?
Trooper: Why yes I am sir - how did you guess?
Darth Diamond: *mutters* lucky guess. I propose we
engage before any more time is wasted.
Trooper: Are you sure that’s the best thing sir?
Darth Diamond: Are you questioning my orders?! Unnamed
trooper - do you have a death wish or something - now
is NOT the time to be pulling my strings!
::Cairnsy: Only I'M allowed to do that *grin*::
Trooper: You’re right sir, sorry sir, right away sir.
*gets up from his seat and heads for the door*.
Darth Diamond just watches him - frozen in amazement.
Darth Diamond: *coming to senses* What the HELL are
you doing?!
Trooper: *smiles at Darth* Why sir - hmm, sir’s a bit
formal don’t you think? I think I'll call you pooky.
*smiles again*
Darth Diamond: Pooky?!
Trooper: No - that’s your nic name Pooky, not mine.
Anyway, I have to go and arrange things, just like you
said. *starts talking to himself as he heads to the
door again* Lets see, I’ll need to send out
invitations, I wonder where I can get a dress on a
pink star? Maybe Pooky will let my pick one up from a
planet before he destroys it. *continues muttering*
Darth Diamond: *scratches head* Invitations? Dress?
What is this idiot going ... *suddenly it all clicks
as a look of realisation comes over Darth Diamonds
face* Get back here you Dolt! We are NOT getting
married!
Trooper - or as we shall know him from now on Dolt:
Wh..wh..at do you mean Pooky? You said - and I quote
“I propose we engage as soon as possible" Don’t tell
me you’re getting cold feet already?!
Darth Diamond: *grr* I meant engage the thrusters!!
Now get back to your seat and get this thing to
Alderaan! *mutters* Hired help these days.
Hearing muffled laughs Darth Diamond turns to Lord
Setsuna, who looks back at him as innocently as
possible - well, as innocent as one can rolling
around on the floor laughing your head off. Luckily
Darth Diamond is taken in by Lord Setsuna’s clever
ruse and instead shoots an officer standing next to
Setsuna.
Darth Diamond: NOBODY laughs at me.
*sweat drop*
I think it’s time we left the Pink Star headed for the
relative sanity - well in comparison anyway, of::
Chichiri: INTERIOR: DOCKING BAY 94 -- DAY. - No da!
::Duo: Da daaaaaa,dadadadadaaaaaa, dada da dadaaaaaaaa
*Cairnsy clamps hand over his mouth::
Darian the Hut and a half-dozen grisly and scary
looking tuxedo clad, rose wielding
creatures stand in the middle of the docking bay.
Darian the Hutt is the grossest of the lot, not only
in a tux but a top hat AND cane too. He is a fat,
slug-like creature - in looks and personality, with
eyes on extended feelers and a huge ugly mouth that
opens much to often thinks this writer.
::Cairnsy: Now how can you say that - thing - looks
like Saffy baby?!::
Darian: Come on out, Solo!
A voice from directly behind the pirates startles them
and they turn around to see Kunzite Solo and the giant
Wookie - IF he was in costume, Neffybaka, standing
behind them with no weapons in sight.
::Duo: No weapons?! Are you crazy?!::
::Cairnsy: You must remember that the Sailor moon cast
is different to that of G. Wing Duo - they have all
sorts of magic powers which are just affective as your
guns::
::Duo: Riiiiiiight - next time I’m up against an Oz
troop I’ll throw a Rose at him - I’ll sure he’ll be
quaking in fear::
::Cairnsy: Point conceded - but no guns::
Kunzite Solo: *flips hair over shoulder* I’ve been
waiting for you Darian.
Darian the Hutt: I thought you might.
Kunzite Solo: You did?!
Darian the Hutt: Aha - it said you’d be here in the
script. *Darian and Kunzite get together and look over
the script*
Kunzite: So it does. Anyway, I’m not the type to run -
it gets my hair all in a mess.
Darian the Hutt : (fatherly-smooth) Kunz, my bud, my
friend, my soul mate
Kunzite: *shudder* Not in this fic buddy.
Darian the Hutt: Damn. Why haven’t you paid me, and
why did you have to fry
Greedo like that - Jedeite Skywalker had a date with
him tonight and he is NOT gonna take the fact you
fried his potential lay well at all.
Kunzite: *glares at Neffybaka who looks back
innocently* *mutters* Killing Greedo is for the best
he said. It’ll get him off our trail he said. Damn
hormonal wookie, always getting me into trouble.
*turns to Darian the Hutt* You sent Greedo to blast
me, what did you want me to do, offer him a cocktail?
Darian the Hutt: (mock surprise) Kunzy, you’re the
best smuggler we have - I don’t know anyone who can
smuggle so much spice in their hair at once, although
that could probably explain the slight green twinge
it’s starting to get. Greedo wasn’t going to blast
you, he was just relaying my ... concerns.
Kunzite: I think he was. Next time don't send just any
twerp - come in person.
Darian the Hutt: kunz, Kunz! If only you hadn't had to
dump that shipment of spice...you understand I just
can't make an exception. Where would I be if every
pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the
first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good
business.
HAN: You know, even I get boarded sometimes, Darian. I
had no choice, but I've got a charter now and I can
pay you back, plus a little extra. I just need some
more time. And besides, would you prefer your Spice in
a lovely shade of pink?
Darian the Hutt: *shudder* God no.(to his men) Put
your blasters away. Solo, my boy, I'm only doing this
because you're the best and I need you. So, for an
extra, say twenty percent I'll give you a little more
time...but this is it.
Kunzite: Darian, I'll pay you because it's my
pleasure.
Darian the Hutt: With pleasure that’ll be an extra 20%
Kunzite: Ew! Please - I don’t even want to THINK about
it!
::Cairnsy: neither do I - lets move to::
::Duo: EXTERIOR: DOCKING PORT ENTRY -- ALLEYWAY.
::Cairnsy: That wasn’t very far!::
Neffybaka waits restlessly at the entrance to Docking
Bay 94. Obi-Sapphire Kenobi, Jedeite Skywalker and the
two, eh, robots make there way up the street.
R2D2, who prefers to be known as Alfred: bep bop pee!
Sapphire: What is that damn robot saying now?!
CPAmi: R2D2 is saying that we’ll be able to move a
lot faster if someone would buy him an extra wheel.
Jedeite: You think the production crew have enough
money for that! Believe me, if they did the first
thing that would be brought would be a decent pair of
clothes for me *stares disdainly at the sheet - sorry,
robe he is wearing* *mutters* I wonder where
Nephrite got his wardrobe from?
Neffybaka see’s the four of them and gestures for them
to follow him and quickly. They stare back at him in
puzzlement.
Jedeite: Why is he flapping his arms about?
Sapphire: maybe he wants to play charades?
CPAmi: Oh goodie! I love charades!
Jedeite: it’s easy, he’s being a bird.
Sapphire: I doubt it, why is he pointing at that ship
then?
CPAmi: What did Master Solo call his ship again?
Jedeite: The milleniu .... FALCON! He’s being a
Falcon! Told ya he was being a bird!
Sapphire: Hmph.
Jedeite, pleased with his clever deduction skipped off
towards the only ship in the bay. As he passed him
Neffybaka watched him with a look of disbelief, anger
over the fact that they had ignored him for such a
long time when they were obviously in a hurry, and
appreciation. (after all, he’d just been graced with a
fantastic view of the young Jedi’s butt!)
Jedeite stopped mid skip in front of the ship. Said
ship is a round, beat up, pieced-together hunk of junk
that could only loosely be described as a starship.
The only redeeming factor that Jedeite saw was the two
red flames that had been painted on each side.
::Chichiri: It’s round no da - how can it have
sides?::
::Cairnsy: Shut up Chichiri::
Jedeite: What a hunk of junk.
Out of the hunk of junk comes THE Hunk of said junk,
Kunzite Solo.
Kunzite: She'll make point five beyond the speed of
light. She may not look like much, but she's got it
where it counts, kid. I've added some special
modifications myself.
Jedeite scratches his head, all of a sudden he’s not
sure about all this Jedi stuff. And if he hurried he
could still make that date with Greedo ...
However Neffybaka makes the decision for him by
throwing him over his shoulder and rushing up the
ramp, urging the others to follow. Once in Neffybaka
places a strangely unprotesting Jedeite down beside
the others.
Neffybaka: You want the grand tour? Good. *grabs
Jedeite’s hand and begins to drag him towards the back
of the ship*
As the others start to follow Neffybaka and Jedeite,
Neffybaka sends them a death glare worthy of Queen
Beryl, and they wisely decide to decline the wookies
kind offer.
Neffybaka: *smirking* And this is the way to my cabin
...
Duo:INTERIOR: MOS EISLEY SPACEPORT -- DOCKING BAY 94.
The troops hold their guns at the ready and charge
down the docking bay entrance where they have been
tipped off by the trooper camoflarged as a coat hanger
at the bar the group had been at earlier.
TROOPER: Stop that ship!
Kunzite Solo looks up and sees the pink storm troopers
rushing into the docking bay. Several of the troopers
gather in a circle and start chanting a Care Bear
song.
Kunzite in disgust has no problem in whipping out his
blaster and shooting four of them dead before
scurrying into the ship.
::Duo: Ah - the man has good taste. Guns are so much
better than that fuddy duddy magic stuff::
As more troopers join the circle Kunzite manages to
pop off a few more shots before the overhead entry of
the ship slams shut.
INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON.
Kunzite runs
::Kunzite: I do NOT run!::
Ehem, walks at a really really fast past - but not as
fast as so to disrupt his hair ...
::Kunzite:better::
...towards the cockpit
Kunzite: Neffy, get us out of here! *waits several
seconds, but there is no sign of Neffybaka*
Neffybaka get your butt out here unless you want me
tell that little slut you call a girlfriend at Darians
palace that you’re pursuing a Jedi!
A thump is heard somewhere near the back of the ship
before Neffybaka comes running, his hair flying behind
him in a mess.
::Kunzite:*smugly* And THAT is why I never run.::
Somewhere in the process of showing Jedeite his room
he had managed somehow to lose his shirt, so was clad
only in those skin tight black leather trousers of his
...
::Chichiri: Ew! Cairnsy no da! Now you are going to
have to clean up the drool on your keyboard!::
::Cairnsy: Sorry::
Behind Neffybaka comes a slightly disleveled looking
Jedeite, who is shooting looks of pure malice at
Neffybaka’s ... butt?!
Jedeite: Can I help it if he looks good in leather?!
Neffybaka: Was that a complement Jeddy?
Kunzite: Molly likes it when Neffybaka wears leather
as well.
Jedeite glares at Neffybaka again, but this time his
face, before slinking into a chair.
Neffybaka: look Jeddy, I can explain ...
Jedeite: *refusing to look at Neffybaka* Save it
hairball. I’m not interested.
Neffybaka: Fine. You had horrible dress sense anyway!
On that note everyone quietly - quietly as they were
all pretty much ignoring each other, straps themselves
in for take - off
::Chichiri: It’s not exactly the Brady Bunch is it?::
Duo: EXTERIOR: SPACE -- PLANET TATOOINE.
The Corellian pirateship zooms from Tatooine into
space. Suddenly a Pink Ship appears out of nowhere and
starts firing at them.
Duo: INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT.
Kunzite frantically, and randomly, types information
into the ship's computer.
Kunzite: *mutters* Come on! These buttons are here for
a reason - they must do something!
R2D2 appears momentarily at the cockpit doorway, makes
a few beeping remarks about the benefits of chocolate
to ones diet then scurries away.
Kunzite: It looks like an Imperial cruiser. Our
passengers must be hotter than I thought.
Neffybaka: I’d agree to that. That Jedeite doesn’t
look half bad, even if he is wearing a sheet.
Kunzite: I thought you two weren't talking after he
found out about your thing with Molly?
Neffybaka: No we’re not - and did I ever thank you for
that?
Deciding that angering the Wookie was not a good idea
- he’d known his friend to blast peoples arms of for
simply insulting his hair...
::Nephrite: Hey! that’s a major offence!::
... he turned to a less important but still annoying
matter at hand - the pink cruiser.
Kunzite: Try and hold them off while i make the
calculations to light speed would ya Neffy?
Duo: EXTERIOR: SPACE -- PLANET TATOOINE.
The Millennium Falcon pirateship races away from
Tatooine. It is followed by two huge Imperial star
destroyers.
Duo:INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT.
Over the shoulders of Neffybaka and Solo we can see
the galaxy spread before them. Jedeite and
Obi-Sapphire Kenobi make their way into the cramped
cockpit where Kunzite continues his calculation.
Kunzite: Now lets see, four plus seven is 12 right? so
if you add another six it would be ... *counts on
fingers* 32!
Neffybaka: *mutters under his breath as he types 18
into the computer panel* this is why I always do the
mathematics.
Kunzite: Stay sharp! There are two more coming in;
they're going to try to cut us off.
Jedeite: Why don't you just try to outrun them?
Kunzite: Doesn’t anyone listen to me in this fic?! I
do NOT run! *pats hair lovingly* We'll be safe enough
once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a
few manoeuvres, just ask Zoisite - we'll lose them!
Duo: EXTERIOR: SPACE -- PLANET TATOOINE.
Imperial cruisers fire at the pirateship.
INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT.
The ship shudders as an explosion flashes outside the
window.
Kunzite: Here's where the fun begins!
Jedeite: Fun? I don’t see any scantly clad guys *see’s
Nephrite* Well, scantly clad guys with bodies to
flaunt it anyway.
Neffybaka: What?!
::Cairnsy: What?!::
::Duo and Chichiri: What?!::
Jedeite: *smugly* You heard me. Neffybaka has nothing
to flaunt but his Ego.
CPAmi: Then why are you starring at his chest?
Jedeite reaches behind the golden robot who strangely
looks like a blue haired girl in a gold suit and gives
her a vulcan nerve pinc - Ah, I mean, turns her off.
Jedeite: *mutters* That thing was starting to annoy
me.
Obi-Sapphire: How long before you can make the jump to
light speed?
Kunzite: It'll take a few moments to get the
coordinates from thenavi-computer.
The ship begins to rock violently as lasers hit it.
Jedeite: Are you kidding? At the rate they're
gaining...
Kunzite: Travelling through hyperspace isn't like
dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we
could fly right through a star or bounce too close to
a supernova - believe me - I know from experience, it
ain’t pretty.
The ship is now constantly battered with laser fire as
a red warning light begins to flash.
Obi-Sapphire: What's that flashing?
Kunzite: Shit. Strap in everyone, I’m gonna make the
jump to lightspeed. *closes his eyes and randomly
pressing a button*
The galaxy brightens and they move faster. Stars
become streaks as the ship miraculously - and by pure
chance alone, makes the jump to hyperspace.
Duo:EXTERIOR: SPACE.
The Millennium Falcon zooms into infinity in less than
a second.
Duo: HYPERSPACE
For those of you who have always wondered exactly
happens in hyperspace, well, lets just say it’s not
pretty. Imagine the cast have been drinking nothing
but undiluted caffeine straight for the last 24 hours
and the effects are jammed into the space of roughly
.000000000000674 of a second, or since Kunzite managed
to get lost whilst in hyperspace, around 5 minutes,
then you have a fair idea of what hyperspace is like.
The name says it all really.
::Cairnsy: Sick of this lot already? So am I, lets
return to: ::
Duo: EXTERIOR: DEATH STAR.
Alderaan looms behind the pink Star battle station.
Duo:INTERIOR: DEATH STAR -- CONTROL ROOM.
Dolt (remember him!): We've entered the Alderaan
system.
Darth Diamond and two storm troopers enter with Prince
Zoisite. His hands are bound.
Darth Diamond: It’s about time.
Prince Zoisite: Governor Setsuna, I should have
expected to find you holding
Vader's leash. I recognised your foul stench when I
was brought on board.
Setsuna: Charming to the last. You don't know how hard
I found it signing the order to terminate your life!
Prince Zoisite: I surprised you had the courage to
take the responsibility yourself!
Setsuna: Prince Zoisite, before your execution I would
like you to be my guest at a ceremony that will make
this battle station operational. No star system will
dare oppose the Emperor now.
Prince Zoisite: *chin firmly in the air*: As long as
there are people in this universe who believe that
Pink is a colour that should be outlawed, as long as
there are people who believe that plaid should never
be worn with stripes, and as long as their are people
who rally against the destruction of mini skirts and
platform shoes the Emperor will NEVER succeed! I have
a dream Lord Setsuna, I have a dream that Kunzite will
take me away from this godamn awful parody and ravish
me like I’ve never been ravished before, and
preferably longer than his record of 32.7849 seconds.
And no emperor will stop me!
After this very moving speech there was hardly a dry
eye in the room, and several storm troopers gave him a
standing ovation. Wiping a tear from his own eye ...
Darth Diamond: it was a speck of dust!
Riiiiiight, after whipping a ‘speck of dust’ from his
eye Darth Diamond motioned for Setsuna to continue.
Setsuna: Not after we demonstrate the power of this
station. In a way, you have determined the choice of
the planet that'll be destroyed first. Since you are
reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel
base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive
power...
on your home planet of Alderaan.
Prince Zoisite: This thing can destroy a whole planet?
Cool, can I have a go?
Setsuna: We are about to destroy your home planet and
all you can think about is how cool our merchandise
is?!
Prince Zoisite: Your point? I've never really liked
the planet anyway, and I don’t think that guy is
really my father - he’s got worse fashion sense than
a Jedi.
Setsuna: *whispers to Darth Diamond* I don’t think
this kid is quite all there if you get what I mean
Darth Diamond: *whispers back* Are you sure you tried
everything to convert him to our side? *Setsuna nods
glumly* Damn, he would have been perfect. *Turns to
Zoisite who has just purchased a bag of popcorn and is
starting to get impatient*
Prince Zoisite: Exactly when are you going to blow up
this planet Darthy Babe? I have a rebellion to run
remember - lets get on with it!
Shaking his head Darth Diamond approached Prince
Zoisite, his disarming and not quite normal smile
smile sending shivers down the Prince’s spine.
Darth Diamond: Let me explain to you Prince Zoisite
exactly WHAT happens when a planet is hit by the a
beam from the Pink Star. Firstly, a nice pink glow
covers the entire planet - I’ve been told it’s quite
pretty actually. As the glow seeps down through the
atmosphere the smurfs theme song can be heard by the
entire planets occupants - you know the one - da da
dadadada, da da da da da
::Cairnsy: don’t even think about it Duo::
::Duo: *sulk*::
Darth Diamond: as the glow comes closer to the planets
surface the music becomes louder and is joined by the
theme songs from Barney, Seaseme Street and that tinky
music they play whenever Rose-Boy shows up
Prince Zoisite:: Oh God!!!!
Darth Diamond: But that’s not all, my dear Prince. As
the music grows louder and louder the citizens of that
particular planet gain an urge to dance ballet, an
urge that cannot be denied or prevented by even your
strongest supporter. As they dance faster and faster,
and as the music grows louder and louder their cries
of agony will mix with the sweet music of the empire.
As soon as these screams reach the note high, high,
high, high, high, high A, the pitch and volume will be
so high that it will cause the entire planet to
explode!
Prince Zoisite looked at Darth Diamond - aghast. No
matter how dull the people of Alderaan were, or how
much he wanted to see this thing it action, he just
couldn’t allow ANYONE to go through that sort of
torture, well, except maybe Nephrite.
Prince Zoisite: You can’t do that Darthy - thats,
thats - inhumane!
Darth Diamond: Then tell me the position of the rebel
base your Highness.
Prince Zoisite: I, I can’t. *sniff*
Seeing that Zoisite is near breaking point he presses
home his advantage.
Darth Diamond: Come on Prince Zoisite, give us the
co-ordinates and we’ll leave your precious planet
alone.
Prince Zoisite: No, i really can’t - It’s in my
contract. I quote “When captured by the enemy, rebel
leader can not under any circumstances reveal the
position of the rebel base, even when home planet is
threatened by a blue clad maniac who is willing to
submit said home planet to destruction through the
Pink Star” end quote.
Darth Diamond: *looks at Zoisite, obviously
impressed*: Wow - you guys are thorough, who do you
get to do you paperwork?
Prince Zoisite: Who knows and who cares, it’s not
relevant to the story.
Darth Diamond: You leave me no choice then to Commence
primary ignition.
Dolt lines up Alderaan on his computer and carefully
types in all the necessary equations. Everyone watches
in amazement as the Pink beam speeds towards the
planet and surrounds it, it’s Pinkish glow visible
from as far away as the the next five solar systems.
They are frozen in astonishment as in only a few
seconds the whole planet is entirely covered in the
pink glow, before with a shock it seems to erupt from
the very centre of it’s core, and the planet becomes
space dust.
Silence reigns, until Darth Diamond finally speaks up.
Darth Diamond: You Dolt! You hit the wrong planet!!!
Alderaan is directly in front of us and you still
managed to miss the damn thing! How hard is it to hit
something that size!
Dolt: Would you like me to try again Pooky?
Darth Diamond sighs - somehow he feels that they are
going to be here a looong time.
Duo:INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- CENTRAL HOLD AREA.
Obi-Sapphire Kenobi watches Jedeite practice the
lightsaber with a small "seeker" robot. He suddenly
turns away and sits down. He falters, seems almost
faint.
Jedeite: Are you all right? What's wrong?
Sapphire: I felt a great disturbance in the Force...as
if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and
were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has
happened.
Jedeite places a concerned hand on his shoulder.
Jedeite: You weren't singing through the force again
were you?
Obi-Sapphire shoots the young Jedi a look of warning,
he didn't think his singing was THAT bad, even if
everyone on the ship tried to convince him otherwise.
Obi-Sapphire: You'd better get on with your exercises.
CPAmi watches Neffybaka and R2 play a game of 3D chess
.
R2 immediately reaches up and taps the computer with
his stubby claw hand, causing one of the holographic
creatures to walk to the new square. A sudden frown
crosses Neffybakas face as he starts to argue with the
little,eh, robot. He had after all rigged the game so
only HE could win - so how in hell at the little
computer diary type thingy beat him?!
CPAmi: He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't
help you.
Kunzite: (interrupting) Let him have it. It's not wise
to upset a Wookie.
CPAmi: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a
droid.
Kunzite: That's 'cause droids don't blast people’s
arms off for simply pointing out it’s obvious they are
having a bad hair day do they? Wookies are known to
do that, especially this one.
CPAmi: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new
strategy, R2 Let the Wookie win.
Neffybaka: *smirks at Jedeite* You know, I also tend
to act ... unkindly to those who turn down other
things I ... offer
Without turning away from the task at hand, blasting
little annoying balls that were flying around him
while blindfolded with his lightsaber, Jedeite sent a
jolt of energy through the air which set the tips of
Neffybaka’s hair on fire. With a yelp said Wookie
raced from the room in search of some non-flamable
liquid.
With a smirk Jedeite removed the blindfold before
turning to Obi-Sapphire who was looking at him in
disbelief.
Sapphire: You must be doing something wrong - nobody
can do that after only a few minutes, it’s impossible.
Jedeite: It was my main specialty in the Negaverse.
Sapphire: *mutters* It took me months to master that
technique - damn show-off, just cause he’s the son of
some big shot villain doesn’t mean he’s any better
than me!
Kunzite: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no
match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
::Duo: Good sound advice!::
Jedeite: You don't believe in the Force, do you?
Kunzite: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy
to the other - not deliberately of course, you can;t
imagine how easy it is to get lost in this universe.
I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen
anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful
force controlling everything.
Jedeite: Not even Beryl?
Kunzite: Is she going to be reading this fic?
Jedeite: probably
Kunzite: Well, then excluding Beryl, who is of course
the most evil, spiteful, wonderfully cruel person
there ever ...
Jedeite: Stop greasing you fool!
Sapphire: I suggest you try your exercises again,
Jedeite.
Jedeite: But why? I’ve already mastered everything
you’ve thrown at me?
Sapphire: *through gritted teeth* Because I said so
you little twerp.
And so we leave our merry band of travellers,
approaching Alderaan. Will Jedeite forgive Neffybaka
for sleeping with one of Darian the hutts dancing
girls - Molly? What of the state of Neffybakas most
prized possession - his hair? Will Dolt finally manage
to hit Alderaan before wiping out every other planet
in the solar system? Tune into Sailor Moon does Star
Wars- A New Hope part three for the answers!
fini.
that’s it - it’s due for a huge make over in the
future! This part i found really hard to parody, but
while it’s not great for now it’ll have to do - part
three will be better -i promise!
Cairnsy