Poetry at 24

The Chili Pepper (South Florida dance club)

Floor littered with mom's desperate screaming children

engaged in the status game

Women sing for praises of confirmation for things that fade

Hell baby, just maybe you will find that doctor

The alpha males think that this one will do fine tied to the hoods of their cars

Where has all the love gone my fellow pyramid builders

Humanity playing poker with the universe

(The best scenario: I and I as the Rastas say or as Hinduism says God talking to God I hope, or maybe just a little bit of love, peace, and understanding for all someday)

"I am the new model"...... "I can suck it and smile"......"Oh look, You are like a VCR. Stick something in to know just who you are"---Marilyn Manson A great comment on the heterogeneous white middle class marketed citizen.

September 1998

Please

How can I get you to understand why we need your love?

Look at the world.

Do you want this suffering?

Can you open yourself up to hope?

Can you consider a world in which our efforts will be self-realization instead of annihilation?

Could you smile back to me?

Could you talk to me without thinking that I am going to judge or harm you?

Could you call your friends and tell them you love them?

How do you expect the world to change unless you start with yourself?

When are you going to begin?

Things have to change

There are nights of crying for this suffering Chinese puzzle

Evolve

Its not flowers competing for the sun

I can't stop thinking of you

Self-loathing some might say

Evolve

This is not a question

Children are confused running on snake oil confessions from the negativiTV

Blood Money

Evolve

Who will take my challenge

Is this simplistic idealism with resentment

Only time will tell

Pam Anderson/Jennifer McCarthy Mythos

Why

you

want

superficial

bleached

blond

immense

breasts

Why

The paradoxical theme of the wicked witch

Suffering

What can I do?

Hey, you say it starts with you

But I desire liberation from suffering

If we could just both give up our desires

Oh, it is death

Metamorphosis

Apocalypse

Heard it on the TV screen

You know the tribe is ripe for the message

These will be the end times

Maybe you are right

Frogs are dead in the stream

Global warming

Brother against Brother

But

Maybe

Must

Get

Real

Dark

Before

We are about to change

When they get together

they hate you

When they say all faggots suck cock

they hate you

When they say all Niggers want to fuck white women

they hate you

When they say all Jews are cheap assholes who control the entertainment industry

they hate you

When they say all Indians are smelly, dirty, dot heads who worship heathen images instead of Jesus

they hate you

When they say all Muslims are sand Niggers and need all their countries bombed for the betterment of all

they hate you

September 27, 1998

(Fuck you to this racist world. I can not express my anger enough for people who dishonor other individuals based on their limited experiences, traditions, and education)

"Why do I need you need you to love me when you can't hold what I hold dear"- Tori Amos

Thanks Tori J

Sometimes I want hear people say they care about other people. Then I want them to demonstrate it. There are too many self-important people in the world with idealism as thick as syrup but lacking utensils to spoon it on.

Dr. Feelgood is just the first step.......

Despair overtakes the bedlam mind.

We got a place on the couch for you too.

Everyone is a patient now.

Victims of the beast must be held responsible though.

Have the psychologists forgotten narcissism is pathology.

October 1, 1998

Those who commit crimes against individuals must be held accountable for their actions. Justice: Just Us

If a human offends, tell them so. How will they know what will not be tolerated in society?

October 2, 1998

Hurry Up

(A refute to Marilyn Manson)

Just when you thought everything was going great

The crack in your fucking heart is me

Just when you thought I was you

you were me

and then we awoke

And there is evil.....

Poison of Socrates

JHVH

Patriarchy

The Crusades and Inquisition

Martin Luther's declaration

Witch burning

Slavery

WWI

CIA

KGB

WWII

Nazi death camps

Atom Bombs

Nagasaki

Hiroshima

Korean War

McCarthy Hearings

Nuclear Weapons

Vietnam

Genocide

Overpopulation

Environmental destruction

Consumer drones

And there is good.....

A women picks an apple from the tree of knowledge

Buddha

Krishna

Athena

Venus

Jesus said help your fellow human

Martin Luther's declaration

Renaissance

Enlightenment

Evolution

Lincoln frees the slaves

Humanism

Egalitarianism

WHO

Black nationalism

Women's Rights

The sixties

Gay and Latino Rights

The Berlin wall falls

South Africa is no longer ran by the color of your skin

Ireland and Israel begin the peace process

Technology is increasing at an exponential rate

And there was neither....

Because I constructed both in my mind

October 5, 1998

"It's all relative to the size of your steeple"- My hope is that the Machiavellian (Do what you will to seize power in existence) present will change into a future ideal of human betterment.

How about "Do what thou will but harm no one"

How I learned to stop worrying and start reading Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin- We all want meaningful lives. We look for meaning in everything we do.

Calvin- But suppose there is no meaning! Suppose life is fundamentally absurd!

Calvin- Suppose there's no reason, or truth, or rightness in anything!

Calvin- What if nothing means anything? What if nothing really matters?

Calvin- Or suppose everything matters. Which would be worse?

Hobbes- I guess there's no harm in a little wishful thinking.

October 5, 1998

Here we are on the stage

Do not worry. It will not always be like this. You know we are just stretching the boundaries of reality to get to the chocolate center. Again.

Let me kiss all my friends or Why do I fall in love too easily

It feels so silly sometimes when I watch you

I would love to kiss you and tell you everything

But something is always blocking your hearts

Ideas

I would love to dance, sing, and smile and tell everyone it is going to be all right.

But,

But maybe it's the war of ideas. Post Modern soldiers. Just one of the automatons sick with slime covered toys.

October 7, 1998

Sometimes I wish I could shove your face into the shit caused by status and power seekers but then I realize it's my face and our shit.

Bigger homes, cars, breasts, boats

More clothes, drugs, entertainment, money, insurance, cars, houses

Endless

Mindless

October 7, 1998

I sit here smiling at you. Why do you take things so seriously? Where is your chocolate center? Lose your self. Give up your boundaries and begin a life of honesty with yourself and others. I write because I know others feel the same as I do. I love you. I want to be everywhere and everything at once. Let's help each other this time around.

October 13, 1998

A dream I had: Years from now some anthropologist or sociologist might use what I have written as a statement on existence in the late twentieth century.

"While there is a lower class I am in it, while there is a criminal element I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free."- Eugene Debs (1855- 1926)

Gay Wyo. student laid to rest- Note all ignorant comments are underlined for easier reading.

Matthew Shepard, the gay Wyoming student savagely beaten, lashed to a wooden fence and left for dead. Under a brand-new city ordinance, anti-gay protesters have been forced to keep themselves inside a cordoned-off area in a park across the street from the church. An emergency measure passed by the city council late Thursday requires protesters to stay at least 50 feet away from the church. But why disrupt a funeral?One of the protesters, Rev. W.N. Otwell of Heritage Baptist Church in Mount Enterprise, Texas, says, "There's a lot of people in America that's sick and tired of them trying to cram the Barney Franks and others down our throats in this country and say that sodomy is alright. It's not alright. "Westboro Baptist Church member Rachel Hockenbarger told UPI, "It's not okay to be gay. These people who are practicing these lifestyles need to know that God hates fags, and that they need to repent or they're going to perish. "That preacher preaching the funeral today is not going to be telling them the truth." Shepard was found barely alive on Oct. 7, about 18 hours after Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson allegedly pistol-whipped and tied him to a fence about a mile outside Laramie. Shepard died nearly six days later at Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, Colo.

When I read about stuff like this, I get so angry inside. It makes me feel ashamed that other people are doing such horrible things to other human beings because of who they sleep with. I also get even more frustrated at people that encourage these crimes. Why?

TV- Mass Communication for Homogeneity

TV tells you who you are. It's just okay with me because I really could not care anymore sometimes. You are told what to read, how to act, think, feel, live, and die. Hey this is not pessimism, it’s a fact baby. Maybe it's not that bad. Some people in this world want to be hard-wired to reduce their suffering. It does not mean that it is rational or in the human race's best interest, it just is. If I could get one thing across to you, It's that you have to believe in your self and do what you love. Do what thou love and you will surely find happiness. I hope.

October 19, 1998

Extraneous information is killing your holy quest

Hell Fire is the only solution to what I feel

I don't even believe in god

It's just sometimes I want this world to burn

The apocalypse cheerleader

The Christ on the cross

My contradictions are a part of the paradoxes of the universe

Who will be left to rebuild?

A philosopher once said instantaneous death is cosmic enlightenment

Fuck that

Oct 19, 1998

Christ on the cross

Sometimes I feel that is my problem

Suffering has become holy for me

Chose Happiness ä

Oct 19, 1998

"I would be the one to hold you down. Kiss you soft. I will take your breath away and after I wipe away the tears. Just close your eyes dear. Through this world I stumbled. So many times betrayed." - Sarah McLachlan

I am sorry that I could not kill the worm in the heart

Sometimes we need others to tell us

of the cold river that divides

Free yourselves from the bonds of mental (Ideology) slavery upon the rocks (society) .

"Most humans live lives of quiet desperation"- Unknown.

I did not know you were that shallow…..

Thinking for you is choosing what to buy

Feelings for you are whatever chemical dependencies you have

Father society has you wearing high heals and platforms

Polyester pants and shirts from third world labor

"If they work hard enough they can be just like me"

Mom is telling you how to be a good lady

This is what they have in their stores for you

Babies and weddings

Fake jewelry Backstreet Boys are just proper preparation

for your domestication

TV philosophy

You think in fairy tale sitcom endings

Pity and anger is what I feel for you

October 21, 1998

LOVE IS UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE…WHERE HAS IT GONE? WAS IT EVER HERE? WHY AM I SPEAKING TO MYSELF?

THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING AND EVERYTHING.

I DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN BUT IT SURE BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE.

WHOM ARE YOU TALKING TO?

WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND OR TRY?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

MY IRATIONALISM MAYBE.

FRIENDSHIP REQUIRES TRUST WHICH IS OFTEN BROKEN AND NOT FORGIVEN.

WHEN WILL WE ALL BE PATIENTS? I ACTUALLY LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY. THE DAY THE MEEK INHERIT THE EARTH.

POLITICALLY CORRECT IS BETTER THAN THE STATUS QUO. SOME OF YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

EVEN IF I WAS ABLE TO SIT DOWN SOME OF YOU WITH THE HOPE THAT YOU WERE OPEN TO RATIONAL ARGUMENTS, YOU WOULD DISAGREE.

I WANT TO SAVE OUR SPECIES. WHO WILL GET ON BOARD WITH ME? WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND?

OCTOBER 25, 1998

CONVINCE YOU OF WHAT

I DON'T KNOW OR BELIEVE MYSELF SOMETIMES

POST- MODERNISM IS DESTROYING THE CONSENSUAL REALITY

SOPHIST ALWAYS

IT IS SURVIVAL

OCTOBER 25, 1998

Sophism- A seemingly reasonable argument that is actually invalid, relativity of truth

Today was a bad day

Sometimes it is unbelievably hard.

I just want to give up on your children somedays.

Than I realize I am giving up on myself.

I am only hurting myself.

When your children say to me "Get away from me or I will punch you in the face".

It hurts.

I know I am only learning.

Learning not to give up.

October 29, 1998

Hate your job! Change!

Hate your life! Change!

Hate your boyfriend! Change!

Hate your grades! Change!

Hate your clothes! Change!

Hate your music! Change!

Hate the TV! Change!

Hate the boredom! Think!

Why won't you change!

(They would have you believe that you can change what is on the outside instead of changing how you think about the world. Little ego (narcissistic) monsters ready to shove the newest food, music, movie, television program, video game, book, trite pop and spiritual philosophies, UFO paranoia, and the current topics of conversation into their minds. You cannot have consumers critically examining themselves and realizing what a sham conspicuous consumption is.)

October 30, 1998

Goodbye everyone

One last kiss before we say goodbye

I thought we could do something for you

One last kiss before we say goodbye

The wave of bitterness is coming on

The last gasp before the water envelops me

I am all by myself

A leaf in the blowing sands of time

One last kiss before we say goodbye

Will it be today?

October 30, 1998

"When the truth is found to be lies and all of you dies. Don't you want somebody to love. Don't you need somebody to love"- Jefferson Airplane

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