Poetry written at 18 1992-1993

Alienation

I spit on your false gods

gunshot doom

pond hounds slavia

blood plastered on menacing teeth

life is alienation

addictions

like a baby’s suckling of his mother’s breast

he is torn away and told not to return

to the ancient security of heaven

Manic Depressive

Little meanies in my head

hear harsh words

they will not see me instead

ringing

Fluorescent halls turn gray

and a sign reads bad ideas

no turning back

dismay

creaking flesh covered doors

bright in this dark bedlam mind

she sits

words make a home in my mind

pink padded walls

comfort

9/17/92

Market vendors

bedlam

multi-facet existence

isolation

loud talking in my head

toxic

speak slowly

I talk of the here

closed mind to become human?

Alternate A

No matter how hard I try

you hurt me

on this dirt road

I appear sincere

why are you not receptive

dejection

am I worthy of love

You are afraid of the pain

sitting in that corner

tomorrow a new day

What I see

Powerless

insignificant

dull blades hack tiny pieces of flesh

beads of blood run toward the floor

accumulating puddles

drowned in depression

a laughing fool

the razors are away

a short vacation

appearing in the distance

the army of hungry knifes

from their Sunday service

the war claims both young and old

a stout middle aged man sits

his children forgotten memories in the

blare of his TV

II

A mother and her baby

encounter exploding death

bullets in urban caos

falling to the tile

her face twisted in pain and rage

looking at

spread like the four winds

her baby’s life less body

an arm stands erect in Spot’s bowl

and the elected go collect

books

Book covers

the one we saw huddled in society’s corner

was he hiding from himself or them

opened naked we found chapters

and two conclusions

monster afraid of the graves

he stepped on

two conclusions is misleading

I want to be happy

Resistance is futile

Judgement day

stamped on brown paper

given only to the last recycled people

coming through that silver door is like entering heaven

gravestones are near my head

someday maybe the children will awake in the river without gasping

for air

twenty two thirty I gave you a gamble

casino officers hold the skeleton keys

only ask for them

mind blank when I close my eyes

cardboard players sneak a peak

and run back to their mothers for praise

tiny footsteps in my mind

pushing buttons like salesman

I know where you are so don’t deny it

the lyrics are all the same offerings

overcrowded apartments

declare your purpose

break from the tight rules

I read a book with Piggy

and we cried because they were mean to us

our friend was hunted by siting down with us

marked in life

we always saw the worse

burning my face

cruel

there is always stock in the woods

little boy standing next to a full women

and you ask why not

I lost it

afraid to touch the golden ring

He killed my real dreams

lost and untouchable

suffering begins when it is instilled in your head

somewhere I fell through what solid structure I thought I had

At the bottom no one gave me a hand

how could they give me a hand into nothingness

Riots should be wars

I go to that subway called school

switch to that robot stare

and socialize in a field owned by a farmer with a gun

Silent in my river stay

for when I appeared to them I was

treated as a slave

Sometimes I wish for the corrosion and rot

other times to be loved and find pleasure in life

staring

blink my eyes

Multiple me

Merry go round faces

a black ghost sat rocking in

a wooden chair

I hear their laughter

my friend, my friend

I have forgotten you in my

mind movies

your gentle presence

Conflicts we taxi to

Midnight graveyards

spent my last days with Lucifer

Moses will you deliver

the dream silver you promised

them

Ripe tight panty whore

Mary why did you not beg for more

let her mystery stay that way

uniqueness is empowerment

I want to be treading water

10/28/92

"A young flower tastes her sweet companion and the weed infects"

Henry

When I was young

the others told me of him

my mind filled in the rest

he was real if I saw him?

sitting in that brown rocking chair

smiling at me

telling me of the accident

I have forgotten in my years

translucent black child

with tangible ideas

Algebra

Fascists blind

the favored children push

the others to the back

the x they carve into their heads

lead them in their sleep

I will cut you all down

like blades of grass

and rise from this pit of boredom

and seize the day

10/5/92

Broomsticks to Sabbath

Belladonna and the journey begins

lay on your backs pretty girls

put the broomstick between your legs

began the quest

step till perfection

10/12/98

Blue Caravan

price of the winter desert

trees marking their graves

flying gaping mouths of robot people

programmer of masses

oppressed my children

willed their will out

it holds like a bee to their diaper heads

10/12/92

a rubix cube

that piece that never fit

dog fell sleepy

alone

no one loves him

gas him with those innocent eyes

why?

simply because he is there

10/92

Jersey

People change

Time’s cruel

memories

smiling faces happy places

wish I could live there

youth stolen

ignorant innocence

miss the afternoon

the chilly air

love of life

bombs exploding mischief

night out with the mailbox reaper

leave the subway

make my days anew

10/19/92

Ugly lady

I want to be somebody

not the dough boy

not the putty king

not the slave to their words

Invaders with plastic promises took this land

pretty baby

walked behind you

I took you near

down on the earth

Indians were here first

10/92

Uniform

no face

just a number

drive thru death

so simple

like it ever had a beginning

dropped when I was young

savages with panties on a stick

they hate you

be the real man

they claim

compassion

and they will suck your soul

leech forget me

go to heaven

I don’t care

tend your go(l)d

10/19/92

I am the piece of clay

you say that you willed

image you see

putty death comes with decay

grown tired of these games

the core

where multiple me sits

clay splatters over the room’s wall

ask why he exploded

10/19/92

Hate Hate Hate candyman

Hate soft skin

makes me crash and cry

cruel cars

sinister faces

backward races

love thee no more

kill thee

nothing

prey on the weak

innocent will persevere

I hope

sick cancer

messenger of humanity

beat your brains to the ground

end your human nothing

born again devils

string forward

Dec 5, 1992

His story

The planetary doom

circling above

I want no part

La Vey said, I want no part

Nietzsche meant it, I want no part

Morrison sang it, I want no part

and I yell, I want no part

Dec 6, 1992

Gym (Gang beat me up in the school locker room)

Siting on a scenic wall

witness genetic misfits with their sharp rocks

bruised, beaten inside and out

fallen

out with the iron

the door lock in the distance

crawling scavengers of the invisible war

forgetting to yell

African men

beating out my ancestor’s sins

what could I do

cruel youth

defeat

black flag waving

only today

Jan 5, 1998

Lonely helpless creature

standing on the rocks in a stream of water

someone came

to give me their hand

I lost my grip and fell

die they say

you will not have to play this

silly game of hurt

no, I answer

pain makes us holy

holy for the war

jihad

peace in ignorance

sanity for the confined

love is a word we tease with

curiosity adds meaning

experience is discovery

Jan, 1993

Do we learn to love?

Can we all express these feelings?

Is it confined to experience?

Do I lack this?

Jan 13, 1993

Thief reactionary

Ignorance asylum

locker savages with

their grievances toward their

master orator

human evil, duality

impoverished I say

hostile

it’s the only cycle

Gold teeth

mouth’s stench of little understanding

laughter and their joy of punishment

thief reactionary

what doesn’t kill us

makes us more prepared right

Jan 22, 1993

Zebo

A bright carnival arrived at our town

sticky cotton candy and the smell of cheap cigars

strings of light

the laughter of small children released from the company of their parents

I see no evil

for you must be crazy

We came together as friends

seeking wisdom and the corruption that follows

The scary house, the men inside

character they say

I dare you

walk among the ruins

you will

holy

doors

paths

chose your birth

9/31/93

Hypocrisy

shallow youth

virtuous and benevolent one day

evil and aggressive the next

inconsistent duality without recognition

Souls are given freely

they are not taken in the process of waiting

Structure and ribbons tie me to this world

9/31/93

I love you

walk me to your father

secure the door

Sterile atmosphere plagues

way of the snake

civilization trash destroys the vegetation

birds pushed by store doors flapping

tomorrow you will be terminated (they already knew)

find your way in the image technology you call son

frequently stone

pyramid building

remembrance of pharaohs

her gentle way of leaving me behind

dreams overtake his emancipated mind

2/8/93

Gaping mouths of robot people litter the land

their diseased scholars sit on tall podiums

can I catch one, asked tim

no, I answered, they bite

a valuable lesson

2/93

Pope smokes dope

Men prance about in Jesus Christ form

Rome and the pope runs naked through the streets

begging for stale crumbs

pale students of the distant craft

insights lurk around the corner

the stinging baby’s jaw

crushed shells

sandy roads

tails to be told to my children

Reflective Skin

reflecting skin neat things

ocean heaven kind embracing

creature’s paper mouths moving

ignorant

fuck you

dolphins insane humans sane?

ask me who is tame

sanity was corruption, civilization, desensitized underworld place

pity

help for the broken product

Hell, I am in hell

look the other way

and an angel will stop breathing

pyramids employ the mindless ones

death peace

taken from the masses the chaos passes

a rubber soul made enlightenment cease

children led by their hunters

Male

Fat and long

does that mean she must be your screen lady

men

I hate the eyes

see me

"Don’t follow tree people (that’s what they want you to think)"

so dream hard

baseball boy

I didn’t know you when you were little

its still a little dick

Jane sure as hell isn’t yours cause you brought her some water