 |
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue. (Neither do I own the lyrics to Sheryl Crow’s ‘I Shall Believe) Pairing: Ororo/Logan ‘I Shall Believe’ This is my first vignette/songfic, so I hope you enjoy. Depending on how this goes I may write some more in the future. Let me know what you think of this one, M’ikosan7, xx Logan stood at the main window of his bedroom, leaning on the frame with his arm above his head---he looked out at the woodland at the back of the mansion as the sun began to rise on the horizon. Bringing the thick cigar he held in his right hand to his mouth, he took a lengthy draw on it. Then watched the thin stream of bluish smoke as he exhaled slowly. He’d had trouble sleeping again tonight, it was rare these days---but on occasion the dreams still came to him. At times vivid memories of submersion in thick liquid, the indescribable pain---he was certain that the version of the pain that he could remember was probably only a fraction of what he’d actually felt at the time. But so much had changed in his life, since those dark days. Fate---or whatever---had made him stumble upon these people---the X-Men. For a time he’d actually began to believe that he could be happy here. Then Jean had died---and that one shred of hope, the one inkling of happiness that he let himself believe he might be able to have, was gone. Jean was the first woman, in his short memory, that he had felt more than sexual desire for---and just as quickly as she’d entered his lonely life---she was gone. Logan took another smoke on his stogie, gazing disinterestedly at the smouldering embers at its end before stubbing it out in the ashtray on the card table that sat beneath the window. With one last glance outside, he pushed off the window frame and ambled into the main space of the room. HIS room---the first room, in the first home---as far as he was concerned---that he’d ever had. After the encounter with William Stryker, he’d decided that maybe his past wasn’t worth chasing. If what that bastard Stryker had hinted at was true---he didn’t want to know who the ‘Wolverine’ was before the adamantium. Logan knew what he was capable of---some of the things he’d done during his fifteen years in the ‘wilderness’, he wouldn’t admit to anyone. Especially anyone here at the mansion. If he was a monster before---he could live without knowing. Besides, he’d found something worth living for now. Sure, occasionally he’d catch himself pondering over Jean, wondering if there was something any of them could have done on that fateful day, two years ago now, to save her. But these days he only thought about those things in terms of feeling sorry for Scott. He supposed the main reason he felt sorry for the guy was because whilst Scott had lost the great love of his life---somehow---Logan had found his. He knew he didn’t deserve it; Scott was the good guy, the one who tried to do right by everybody. Yet he was the one who was now lonely and Logan was the one who could wrap his body around the woman he loved every night. Sometimes life really wasn’t fair---but maybe he’d already had more than his fair share of bad luck. It was his time for some happiness now. He looked down at her now, in his bed, the dusky skin of her back exposed, her white hair caressing her smooth shoulders. Every time he got the opportunity to simply observe her---without interruption or pretence, just like he was now---he still couldn’t believe she was his. Ororo Munroe---Storm---the resident Goddess. “The Goddess who fell for the Animal.” He muttered under his breath wryly as he sat on the edge of the bed and simply watched her. Their relationship hadn’t been perfect, far from it in fact. He hated to admit it but he’d been the stereotypical difficult, commitment-shy tough guy for a long while. Ororo had to put up with a lot from him---with his insecurities, emotional unavailability and frequent absences. She had given him the love, care, attention and patience that she had become famous for around the school. It humbled Logan almost---that he’d found the unconditional love that he’d always craved. That’s not to say she was a doormat but that she loved him---warts and all. Logan ran his hand, just barely over the back of her shoulder-length hair---he could never get over how soft it was to the touch. Thinking now of all the things she had done for him, he tried to think about what he’d given her in return. What could a man like him offer to the woman who appeared to have everything?---strength, love from everyone around her, the power to protect herself. She seemed so self-sufficient in every way that at times he wondered if he were needed at all. But then, with a short self-deprecating laugh, he berated himself for sounding like one of those men who complained about strong women emasculating men. When the truth of it was that he knew from personal experience that men like him needed women like her---to get some perspective. And visa versa he supposed. Most of all though, one of the most important things she had given him was the strength to believe---believe that there was hope, even for him. “Couldn’t sleep?” Ororo’s back was still turned to him as she inquired groggily. Sinking his right hand into her hair, Logan moved fully onto the bed and snuggled up to her back, sliding his left arm beneath her slim body and wrapping it around her bare waist. “You know me darlin’, I’m not the greatest sleeper.” He kissed the back of her head before releasing his hand and burying his nose in her hair to inhale its glorious scent. Sandalwood and wild flowers. “Umm-hum,” she replied sleepily, pressing the back of her body to his, moulding it to his shape. “Well I suppose I should be grateful that I was able to sleep for a little while longer before you woke me.” Logan chuckled lightly into her hair, “I didn’t wake you!” “Oh really? Shifting about on the bed with your weight would disturb anyone!” She joked as she turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder at him. “That---plus the stench of those cigars!” With a beautiful, teasing smile she brought her lips up to his and kissed him tenderly. When they finally broke apart, they lay in silence; Ororo with her hands on his arm that was about her waist and Logan resting his cheek on hers. Bringing her hand up to gently brush over the side of his face, she asked, “So what were you thinking about?” “Oh, nothin’---and everythin’.” “That tells me a lot!” She laughed. “No, seriously---what were you thinking of? You know you can tell me anything.” Logan sighed wistfully as he considered his reply, “Well, I was thinkin’ about Jean, about us---about what’s made me want to stay here.” “And what was your conclusion?” “For a start,” He turned his face into her cheek, kissing it softly before trailing similar ones down her neck. “There’s you.” “And?” She asked, contentment filling her voice as she ran one hand up and down his arm lightly, stirring the hair that covered it. “Aaaannd,” He exaggerated the length of the word before adding, “I guess everythin’ Xavier spouts---it’s grown on me.” He kissed her again. “Everythin’ YOU spout’s grown on me.” Ororo smiled to herself---it was the first time he’d really, truly admitted that Xavier’s ideals were now his own. Although she knew he wouldn’t have said that to anyone else but her---after all he had an image to maintain around here! But at least it was a step in the right direction. This man had been hard work---but he’d been worth it. In his own way, even though he didn’t realise it, he had helped her in so many ways. After Jean’s death, their late night talks had gotten her through that difficult time, preventing her from falling apart. Of course, at the time she knew Logan had been using her as a soundboard more-or-less, for his own broken heart---they’d not exactly been close before that. But as time went by it grew to be a more openly mutual thing and before they knew it they were the closest of friends. Their relationship had grown from there---although he wasn’t exactly the ideal man to have your first relationship with. She’d been strong for him, like she felt he expected her to be---he never realised that Kurt was the shoulder she went to cry on. That she wasn’t the unflappable Goddess when he disappeared without trace, for months at a time, on occasion. But gradually, things had eventually sorted themselves out, they worked through his problems together and at this moment she knew that all the grief he’d caused her and the pain---had all been worth it. She loved him---this irascible rogue of hers. No matter how high or how low things got---she knew in her heart that she always would. He had given her the strength to truly love, to open her heart and reach out. His wild side had unleashed things in her that she’d long kept hidden or simply didn’t know were there. He’d helped her live her life to the fullest and for that she would always be grateful. She could no longer imagine a life without him by her side. Turning around in his arms to face him Ororo planted a long, soft kiss on his lips. After a while she pulled back to study the ruggedly handsome lines of his face in the dim dawn light and smiled. “I don’t think you have any idea how happy you’ve made me.” Bringing her as close as he could to him, Logan kissed her with a slow, deep and passionate kiss. All the while thinking about how the taste of her was just one of the many things that were perfect about her---the most wonderful thing he’d ever tasted. “Dido darlin’.” He said quietly, close to her moist lips. Looking into Ororo’s rich, dark eyes, Logan realised she had given him the faith to believe in anything. ‘Come to me now Lay your hands over me Even if it’s a lie Say it will be alright And I will believe * Broken in two I know you’re on to me That I only come home When I’m so all alone But I do believe * That not everything is gonna be the way You think it ought to be It seems like every time I try to make it right It all comes down on me Please say honestly you won’t give up on me And I shall believe I shall believe * Open the door And show me your face tonight I know it’s true No one heals me like you And you hold the key * Never again Would I turn away from you I’m so heavy tonight But your love is alright And I do believe * That not everything is gonna be the way You think it ought to be Seems like every time I try to make it right It all comes down on me Please honestly You won’t give up on me And I shall believe I shall believe I shall believe I shall believe. The End |