Disclaimer: They're not mine. But the story is. I don't remember being shot. I remember spending more than two years in physical therapy until I could use my legs again. I also remember the first night I stayed with my new mother. I was terrified, but at the same time, I was relieved. She told me she would learn to love me as her daughter, and she did. She became the best mother I had ever had. Well, since I didn't really know my birth mother, I guess that makes her my only mother. We grew to love each other over those years, and we were all the other had. We both led pretty lonely lives. Until I met Zak. I was out with a group of friends when a mutual friend introduced this gorgeous guy to me. He had jet-black hair and a smile that made me blush. His eyes were hazel, but they turned a beautiful green whenever he looked directly at me. Later I found out from his friend that his eyes turn green when he's embarrassed. We had a lot in common, and we talked together the entire night. I felt so comfortable with him, and that was a feeling I had problems finding, especially in guys. We exchanged numbers that night, and later in the week he asked me to go out with him Saturday night. I was so nervous about my first date. Actually, I was more worried about telling Mother than I was about the date. I wasn't sure how she would react. After all, I was the single most important person in her life. Correction. I was the single most important living person in her life. So, I came up with the perfect way to tell her. I simply told her I was going to the movies with Sara. Then I walked to "Sara's house" (which was the convenience store down the road from my house) where Zak and I agreed to meet. I learned a lot that night. Number One: I really liked Zak. Number Two: Driving is fun, but driving standard is even better. Number Three: When you lie about whom you are with, make sure the other person involved in your scheme knows about it. While walking home, I could hardly suppress the smile about my face, but fought to keep it in check as I walked up the steps and into the house. It wasn't an odd thing for me to walk home; very few of my friends had cars so I walked home often. Mother was at her desk as usual, working on a new peace treaty with colony 159763333 or something like that. Anyway, it was the newest colony to be admitted to the ESUN. "How was the movie?" she asked. "Hmm?" and then I remembered what I had told her earlier that evening. "Oh, we saw Star Wars XIII, it was excellent!" My fake enthusiasm made me feel sick. "Mar,” Mother turned in her chair to look at me. "Sara came to see if you wanted to go see a movie about an hour after you left." I was so shocked and mad at myself for such a stupid lie that I couldn't speak. "Now, let's try this again,” the disappointment was obvious in her voice, "how was the movie?" "I didn't go,” I was shamed. "You didn't?" It was more of a statement than a question. I shook my head. She waited patiently for me to continue. She sure knew how to make me feel like shit for lying to her. I breathed in deep, "I went on a date with Zak." She raised an eyebrow at me. "Is that all?" I nodded. She turned back to her computer, "Thank you for clearing that up." The conversation was over. I turned on my heel and tears began to surface. "Mar,” Mother said as my foot touched the first step. "Yes?" My lip quivered. "You didn't finish telling me about your evening." She shut the screen off and walked to the couch, waiting for me to join her. I smiled and pushed back the tears. "Let's start with Zak," she said as we sat on the couch together. xxx Three years later, I was in love. It was wonderful. Zak had asked me to marry him, and I said yes. We agreed to wait a year or so first, and we were incredibly happy together. I asked Uncle Zechs to walk me down the aisle, being how I didn't have a father and he was very dear to me. I was happy to see that over the years Zechs came to his senses (with a little persuasion) and asked Lucrezia to marry him. It took him long enough but they had a beautiful little girl they called Lily as a result. She was my flower girl. During the ceremony Mother shed a single tear. It was the first time I had ever seen her even come close to crying. True, as a child I often heard her cry in the night, mostly after I asked her about my Father. But she encouraged me to ask about him, she said she loved to tell me. But as I grew older, I knew it caused her sadness to think about him, so I stopped asking her. After the wedding I couldn't bear to leave Mother. So I asked Zak if he wouldn't mind moving into my father's estate in Germany where we could go with mother. She gave us her blessing but refused the offer, saying she would just get in the way. I never touched Father's room, I left it the same, and Mother used it whenever she came to visit. She liked the way that I left it just the way he had. Mother was the one who helped me during my sixteen hours and forty-seven minutes of labor. Poor Zak was so exhausted that he passed out and slept right through Treize's birth. When I told Mother what we had planned on naming our baby, she smiled sadly and said, "He looks like him, too." xxx About thirty years have gone and I desperately hold onto these memories like I do my Mother's hand. She has become very ill with a new type of disease called the H27 Virus. I am so furious with myself for not paying more attention. I could have had her vaccinated, even though it hasn't been proved effective yet. But by the time I found out what she had, it was too late. Her fate had been decided and she swore she was content with the knowledge. But this is very hard for me. She's the only family I have. She's dying! What am I supposed to do? I feel like there's so much I could have done. I could have taken little Treize to see her more often. I could have told her I loved her more often. I could have taken her to Space one more time. She always wanted to go back. "Mom,” my voice is shaking as I hold onto her, "please don't go." "My dear Mariemaie,” she breathed, "It doesn't hurt. I love you." "But I need you. We need you." I pleaded. Then my intellect took over and I added, "Life expectancy is up to 110 for women. You have a few years to go." She smiled the first genuine smile I had seen in a long time. "It's my time. I've been dead for years." "No,” tears streamed down my face, "don't say that." "The only time I felt alive was when you needed me." "I need you now." "You have Zak and little Trieze. Tell them I love them." I am done trying to plead, she wants this, her life was full of burdens and she needs to rest. She deserves it. Her eyes glaze over "Your father says he's proud of you and he loves you very much." "Tell him I love him, too. I'll miss you so much." I am sobbing now. "Trieze," she whispers so softly that it was almost inaudible. With that, the virus takes hold and she lays in my arms lifeless. I know I should be grieving now, and I assure you, I am. But more than that I am happy for her. She is with my father again and that's where she belongs. |
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