~Reflection~ Disclaimer: (sung to "Deck the Halls") Digimon's not owned by me-e. Fa la la la la, la la la la.  I'm a fanfic writer, don't you see-e?  Fa la la la la, la la la la.  Please don't sue if you own the show-ow.  Fa la la, la la la, la la la.  Or I'll whack you with some mistletoe. Fa la la la la, la la la la! A/N: Okay, this one certainly was a doozy all right. (G: But that’s only because it has more flashbacks in it than a dubbed Cardcaptors episode.)  *glares at G, who promptly exits before she gets thrown out the window for the 137th time* Anyway, like my muse implied, I had to use a lot of scenes from the show for this one, a few of which I don't have the clips of and/or my brain can't remember clearly (darn school filled my head with junk!), so just bear with my ad-libbing and interpretation in some parts, 'kay? *** Chapter 14 Falling, falling, falling for what seemed like forever…. 'Am I dead yet?’ wondered Yolei.  ‘No, I'm still alive…but I won't be for long…' The plummeting girl tried to push the grim thought out of her head.  'No, I've got to find Ken.  Maybe together we can think of a way out of this, but if not, at least then I won't die alone.' Fighting against the wind rushing up at her, Yolei flailed searching arms wildly around in the darkness in hopes of finding Ken. ‘Ugh, this isn't working.  Come on, Yolei, think!  He jumped down first so he's got to be somewhere below me, hopefully within reach…' Though not liking the idea of falling down faster, Yolei tucked her arms in and made her body as straight as possible to give her less air resistance. Like a bird swooping down for its prey, the helmeted girl descended into the abyss at an even faster rate. 'Exactly how far down is this thing?' Yolei thought after what seemed like ages.  'You'd think I'd have hit the bottom by now, or at least run into—what the…?' The girl’s brushing up against another falling body interrupted her musings.  Instantly Yolei reached her arms up and caught onto a still form. "Ken?!" she yelled in disbelief.  "Is it really you?" No response… She readjusted her grip on the body and probed it with her hands.  The first thing she felt was an icy, closed-eye face framed with wildly flying hair. "Ken, can you hear me?  KEN!!!" It was no use.  He was out cold. The girl sighed in defeat.  "Well, at least now you'll die peacefully…" Yolei murmured to him downheartedly.  "I guess that's some comfort…" Sighing again, she held him close in a protective embrace.  "It's just too bad that the last words I hear won't be yours.  Good-bye, Ken." Yolei closed her eyes, trying to will herself to sleep as well so that her death wouldn't be too painful. All of a sudden, she felt herself land on something hard, but that something wasn't very hard itself.  Rather, it was feathery and moving the both of them upwards and away at a tremendous speed. Yolei's eyes immediately flew open.  "Aquilamon?!"  She cried in shocked yet joyful surprise. "Yolei, are you all right?" came the concerned voice of her partner digimon. "Oh my gosh, you have no idea how glad I am to see you!" she blurted out.  After letting out a breath of relief and calming down a little, she scolded, "What took you so long?"  Aquilamon chuckled.  "Sorry, finding two falling humans in pitch darkness after breaking free of a mind-controlling device isn't the easiest thing I've ever done." "You broke free of Ken's Dark Bands? Wait a minute--Ken!"  Now that they were out of the gorge, she examined the freezing-cold boy in the dim moonlight. Yolei barely heard her digimon as he explained how the band on his leg simply broke apart and how he flown back for her the second he could regain his bearings.  Instead she gazed intently at the unconscious boy whose deathly still face made her fear for his life. "Come on, Ken, you can get through this.  I still believe that you're in there, and I know that you'll find a way to come back to me." All she received in reply was an eerie silence. ~~~ "What is this place?" was the first thing that came to mind as Ken looked down at the nothingness beneath his feet. Again, he was surrounded by darkness, but it wasn't the same kind of darkness he had found himself in the first time his inner demon had invaded his dreams.  This time he could actually see his pale hands and gray-clad body. "Isn't it obvious?  We're inside your mind, or should I say, our mind?" Ken whirled around at the sound of the menacing voice just in time to see the tall figure of the Digimon Emperor emerging from the blackness. Shaded indigo eyes stared back at indigo. Frown met frown. "Does this mean I'm not dead?" "No, unfortunately."  The Emperor strode past Ken before continuing.  "I can still hear everything that goes on outside this body, as could you if you weren’t so busy pondering the obvious.  That pitiful girl and her overgrown canary of a digimon saved us--though I would rather have had them let us die than spend eternity with a pansy like you." Ken snarled.  "Hey, it's not like I enjoy your company either." Both turned their heads at the same time to glare at each other. Shaded indigo eyes stared back at indigo. Scowl met scowl. "Well excuse me for being an integral part of you.  If I had the choice, I'd have my own body and be off conquering the Digital World by now, but no, I get saddled with you, an insolent loser who doesn't know how to stay in the quiet place I stick him in!" "Like I would let you hurt anyone if you had a million bodies of your own!"  Ken shot back.  A resolute expression on his face, he then declared, "And even if you did, I'd make sure I defeated you a million times over like I did just now." The Emperor clenched both fists at his side and growled, "Don't think you've won.  As far as I’m concerned, the battle is still on between us." Whirling around with a flutter of his cape, he spread his arms out, causing a ripple to form in the darkness around him.  Instantly the blackness that had surrounded them disappeared and was replaced by a sandy, arid desert. "Reset the Digital World?  What are you talking about, Ken?" "What?! Not again!"  Ken stared with wide eyes as the all-too-familiar scene played before him once more.  "How is it that you can do this when we aren't even in the desert?" "We're in your mind, remember?"  The Emperor snorted and dropped his hands.  "I can call up any of your memories at will and project them here.  Take this one for example: your pitiful downfall." Ken tried to tear his eyes away from the painful scene, but the accusing voices of his fellow Digidestined wouldn't leave him alone. "The Digital World is a completely real place, Ken.  It's not just something that's programmed into your computer." "We tried to tell you that before, but you thought that we were trying to play some kind of trick on you." "Have you forgotten already how much of a fool your 'friends' made you look?  Don't you remember how much of a quitter you were--giving up our glorious plans after one miscalculated battle?  That's all you are, Ichijouji, a cowardly little quitter.  You gave up trying to gain more attention than Sam and so wished him dead, and here you are giving up after one lost battle." Ken had had about enough of all this: all the horrible memories, the mind games, the possession by his darkside, everything.  His heart jumping to his mouth, he closed his eyes and yelled, "It wasn't just one lost battle!  It one of many meaningless battles, all caused by my foolishness!" Suddenly the scene shifted to a rocky landscape in the Digital World. "What in the--?" In the distance, the two boys could see another indigo-haired boy retreating on an Airdramon and cursing the Digidestined for defeating him yet again.  Nearby, though, a group of familiar children and their digimon were cheering after another of their many victories. "Of course, why didn't I realize this sooner?"  Turning on his darkside, Ken exclaimed, "This is my mind, and I have as much power over what memories we see as you do!" The Emperor growled and clenched his teeth in fury. "So you finally figured that out. Well give the genius a pat on the back, but it won't do you any good." The regally dressed boy raised one of his arms, and they were suddenly transported to a dark hallway lined with black metal plates.  Before them stood a shocked Digimon Emperor, who was apprehensively watching a tall, blond boy casually rub a red spot on his cheek with one hand and then examine that same hand with a calm expression on his face. "When you can't think of anything to say, do you always resort to fighting?" "What do you think you're trying to pull this time?" Ken muttered to his tormentor as he watched the Digidestined of Hope lecture his former self.  "That's your problem. You don't know when to talk or when to fight…Now's a good time to talk." "Simple: if you won't hate that troublesome girl or yourself, then maybe you'll hate one of your other so-called Digidestined friends." "On the other hand, it's also a good time to fight!" Both of Ken's halves watched as T. K. lunged at the shocked Emperor with his right fist and punched him squarely on the left cheek, sending him flying backwards a few meters away. "Nice 'friend' you got there, Ken," the Emperor poked at Ken, who winced in pain as another of T. K.'s blows connected with his past self's face.  "Apparently Hope can't take his own advice.  If he were a worthy friend, he would have seen how terrified you were and given you a chance to talk, no matter what sins you had made." Just then, T. K. stopped his assault, his attention caught by the monstrosity lurking outside. Quietly, Ken murmured, "He had every right to do what he did."  Then, facing his darkside, he said with more strength in his voice, "After creating that monster of a digimon, I deserved to have some sense knocked into me." "Hey Ken, remind me where I left off the next time I'm pummeling you into oblivion," called T. K. to the fallen Emperor as he rode away on Pegasusmon. "But things changed since then--I've changed since then."  The air around them rippled, and they suddenly found themselves on a sidewalk in Odaiba on a chilly night.  Across the street, a blue-haired man wearing glasses stood next to a small yellow car and talked to a group of tired Digidestined after their battle with Daemon. "I'd better get you guys home.  Your parents must be in a panic by now, but there's one problem: I only have room for one more." Turning away from the car, an indigo-haired boy wearing a scarf and sweater offered, "Well, maybe I should go take the bus then." "After I gave up being the Digimon Emperor, T. K. no longer had a desire to pummel me into oblivion anymore.  Instead, he proved to be a caring, devoted friend and accepted me as one of them." "Go ahead!" T. K. chirped, pushing the reluctant boy into the tiny car. "Go on! You're a part of the team now, Ken." "But what about you, TK?" the past Ken protested with concern. "My parents know all about the digimon stuff; don't worry about it.  My house isn't very far from here. I'll just walk home.  See ya later!" "Thanks buddy," he replied, nodding his head solemnly. "Ugh, I think I’m going to hurl from that scene," spat the Emperor, dispelling the images before him with a wave of his hand.  "But no matter.  You say that they were all nice to you after you had turned over a new leaf?  Don't be so sure.  Remember, not everyone accepted you once you had given up your reign as the Digimon Emperor." With a wave of his hand, they found themselves in the middle of a green field riddled with Control Spires, some demolished while others remained standing. "Davis, I think Flamedramon could have taken out that Control Spire on his own," bitterly said a short, brown-haired child. "Cody!"  Angrily, the present Ken turned to glare at his dark side.  His flaring indigo eyes clearly showed he was reliving the pain he had felt when he'd discovered that the young boy hadn't completely accepted him yet, as revealed by Davis and Yolei's failed attempt to trick them into getting along. "Come on, Wormmon," said Ken's past self lowly.  "It seems that not everyone wants us around." "The youngest of the Digidestined was the last to recognize you as part of them.  As you can see, he had to be coerced to even destroy a simple Control Spire with you by his side.  You had shown them your intentions by this point, but he out of all of them was still unwilling to work with you." "Oooh, Cody, you're so stubborn!" yelled Yolei at the young boy as Ken marched off. "Shouldn’t he have swallowed his pride and assured you that he wanted you to work with them?  If he weren’t willing to make an effort to befriend you then, after you had proved to them that you were their ally, how can you be so sure this distrustful little brat is your genuine friend to this very day?" Doing his best to calm himself least the Emperor feed off of his anger again, Ken started in a barely contained voice, "He may not have accepted me right away…" The scenery shifted and changed into a grassy field outside of a forest in the Digital World. Before them they could see the Digidestined laughing over Ken’s joke about the possibility of Veemon catching Gatomon under the mistletoe at his Christmas party, and just beyond them, they could see another Ken nervously walking towards the same flat-haired child whose intent gaze never left the approaching boy. "…but I don't blame him, not after all the terrible things I had done…" "Here you go, Cody," said Ken, handing him an envelope.  "You're invited, too." "…However, Cody eventually did come around." "Really?" the young boy asked, his face lighting up.  "I’m glad I made it to your list." “He accepted my invitation when he could have just as easily made up some excuse and not come.  It was his choice to give me a chance and spend time with all of us on such a special holiday.  That’s how I know he’s really my friend.” It was obvious that the Emperor was less than pleased with Ken's ability to call up memories that rivaled his, but he wasn't about to give up. "Of course you do realize that all of the memories you've brought up occurred after they realized they couldn't win without your help.  But how do you know that your 'friends' were telling the truth when they said they had forgiven you and that you could be their friend?  It all could have been a lie to make sure you didn't go astray." Waving a hand in as calm a manner as he could manage, the Emperor brought them to the edge of a soccer field where two teams were fiercely competing against each other. "They say a person's real character shows through by how he treats you before he gets to know you, or before he discovers how valuable you can be." "It looks like Ken Ichijouji is going for another goal," an announcer declared. On the field they could see a tall boy in green dribbling a soccer ball down the field at lightning speed.  Off to the side, though, a brown-haired boy was running his hardest to intercept him. "Davis!" Ken gasped. "Oh no you don't,” the leader of the Digidestined yelled as he slide-tackled the star of the Tamachi team. "Motomiya certainly wasn't afraid of hurting you, a well-loved athlete he didn't know much about, for the sake of a point that would have made no difference in their already lost game." Ken watched himself fall down hard onto the green field, his past self’s lower leg beginning to bleed rapidly from the cut Davis had given him.  Surprisingly, though, Ken didn't seem affected by this scene as much as he had the others.  Instead he gave his dark side a knowing smile. "But that's Davis' strongest trait.  Even when things seem hopeless, he's willing to do anything for what he believes in." A wave of the hand by Ken, and they were once again on a street in Odaiba on a cold night, though with all the energy being shot between four powerful digimon, it wasn't as cold as it should have been.  In front of them stood an indigo-haired boy dressed in a sweater and scarf, screaming at the top of his lungs as his friends supported his outstretched arm, which aimed his dark digivice at the sky. The same brown-haired boy they had seen earlier, this time wearing goggles, laid a hand on the past Ken's shoulder and yelled words of encouragement to his best friend. "Stay strong, Ken! I know you have a lot of pain and confusion inside of you over the things you did as the Digimon Emperor.  But you're not that person anymore, Ken.  You thought the Digital World was a game; you didn't realize that you were hurting living creatures.  But you've paid for your mistakes.  We wouldn't be where we are without your help.  You can't keep beating yourself up for all the things you did in the past, Ken." "You forget that a person's true nature also shines through in times of crises.  How he handles himself and what he does both show his real character." "You've got to fight it, Ken.  You're stronger than that.  Don't let fear and guilt rule your life anymore.  We're here with you!" "When things seemed hopeless, Davis was there by my side cheering me all the way.  He's a true friend through and through because he stuck by me as I faced my darkest demons, and if it weren't for him, we never would have survived--an acceptable trade off for a cut on the leg, wouldn't you say?" Ken turned to smile at his dark side.  Then he closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.  "I could never hate him."   The Emperor let out a frustrated scream and started to change their surroundings, but Ken beat him to it. "Who’s next--Kari?" Ken raised his arm, and they were taken to the sandy desert once again. "I'm a monster! I can't believe what I've done," cried a crouched over Emperor. "It's hard to argue with you there, Ken," agreed T. K.  "You've done some pretty horrible stuff." "The important thing is, you've realized what you've done, and it's not too late to make a fresh start," Kari offered. "Good ol' optimistic Kari," said Ken lightheartedly, "always looking on the bright side and always willing to give people a second chance if they've shown they're sorry for the crimes they've committed." The Emperor let out another aggravated growl.  How dare that goody-two shoes use that same memory against him! "Maybe you were going to try to make me hate Sam or my parents next." With a wave of Ken's hand, one after another, memories of his family flashed before them. "Your bubbles always turn out perfect because you're so gentle.  Mine always pop because I blow too hard." “Ken, while you were sleeping, your mother and I realized that we tried to make you more like Sam without really knowing it.  We're very sorry.  We should have seen the son we had, instead of spending our time constantly looking for the son that we lost.” “Forgive us!  All we're asking for is a second chance.” “Sam is gone, Ken.  We know that, but we don't want to lose you, too.” “ Just be Ken.  Just be your sweet self. Ken, just try, just try. Please, for me.” Then, once again, their surroundings returned to the familiar blackness. "You see, there's no one you can make me hate!"  Ken smiled triumphantly and turned to see how upset his dark side would be. However, contrary to what Ken had expected, the Emperor chuckled lowly, and soon that chuckle grew into deranged laughter.  "Oh, Ken, Ken, Ken.  Don't be so naïve.  There's still someone left for you to hate.” "Oh yeah?  Who?" he asked defiantly, unwilling to let him know how disappointed he really was. "Me," his dark side declared, stepping closer towards him.  Not liking the devilish look in the Emperor's eyes nor the way he approached him, Ken backed away from his tormenter slowly. "You really hate me, don't you Ken?  It's because of me your friends are starting to distrust you.  It's because of me your worm of a digimon is terrified of you.  It's because of me your girlfriend was nearly killed just now!" Brief images of the past few days flashed by him as he said this: Cody's piercing gaze, Davis' quizzical expression, Wormmon's cowering on his bed, Yolei's pained face… Ken gritted his teeth, trying his best to stem the rage building up inside of him. "Remember how easy it was for me to take over?  Don’t forget, I can do it again just as easily as you gained control a few minutes ago. Face it: no matter how many times we fight this endless struggle, I'll still be able to come back whenever I want and cause even more suffering.  You might as well just give up.  It would be so much more painless for the both of us." ‘I don’t like to admit it, but he’s right about one thing: there’s no getting rid of him,’ Ken thought dolefully.  ‘Now what am I going to do?  I could beat him down this time, but what about tomorrow, or the next day?  One day he’ll win, and then my family and friends will be in danger.  And it’s going to be all my fault!’ The Digidestined of Kindness was about to turn to despair, much to his dark side’s pleasure, when a familiar voice came to him out of nowhere.  “Come on, Ken, you can get through this.  I know you can find a way to come back to me." “Yolei!” Ken stopped his backing away and gave the image of the Emperor a determined look.  ‘No, for her sake, I can’t give up like this!  I’ve got to think of a way to make sure he doesn’t return, just like I did before.’ “Oh, give it up already!” his dark side exclaimed exasperatedly, stopping as well.  “Besides the fact that I can hear your thoughts, how many times do I have to tell you this, boy: as long as I'm a separate part of you, there's no way I'm leaving?” Ken's incensed expression suddenly turned into a questioning one. "Wait a second…a separate part of me?" The Emperor’s eyes went wide as he realized what he had just let slip. "That's it!” Now it was Ken's turn to stride closer and closer to his dark side, who began to back away.  “I've been able to contain you all this time because I had acknowledged that you were an essential part of me.  Around the time I started to experience all these dark emotions, I didn't want to recognize that you were a necessary side to me but rather that you were a separate, evil entity--the Digimon Emperor--and once you had broken away from me, you fed off of my dark emotions.  Then after you thrived and kept me down long enough, you almost succeeded in completely assimilating me.  After all, you were readily willing to accept that there was an insignificant and weak kind side in you, just so long as it would give you control over my body."  All Ken had to do was look at the horrified Emperor's face to know that he was right. "Now I know what to do to make sure you don't come back."  Without warning, Ken lunged at his dark side and caught him in a tight embrace. “Wh-what are you doing?” the regally dressed boy asked in a panicky voice. "Simple: I’m uniting with you again." "Wait! You don't know what you're doing!" The Emperor struggled frantically to get loose, but Ken's grip on him was iron-hard.  However, he did make one final verbal attempt to stop the boy from going through with his plan.  "How do you know that when we merge, your kind side will be strong enough to assume control?  You're taking a big risk trying to join with me this soon.  Remember, if you aren't the dominant side, I'll be in permanent control of this body once we're together again." "Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take!"  A white flash of light emanated from between the two of them, and that was the last thing Ken remembered. *** G: (panting) Are you…trying…to kill us…or something? Gwen: (panting as well) Do you…really…want her…to answer…that? Gaia: Sorry, I just wanted to hurry up with the end of the story as soon as possible. Ken: (from behind them) I'm all for that. G, Gwen, and Gaia: *are startled that he's there and turn to stare at him* Gaia:  All right, who let the angsty bishie out of his padded cell? Gwen: Don't look at me; I'm just-- G: Going to be dead if you say that line one more time. Gwen: *closes mouth immediately* Gaia: Cut it out you two and help me put him back in before he hurts himself or goes Emperor or something. Ken as the DE: Too late! *pulls out a whip and cracks it at them* G, Gwen, and Gaia: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! *all run out of the room screaming* DE: Mwahahaha! *runs after them cracking his whip*