To Be Sincere and Kind On Tuesday, I had soccer practice at the field. I don't think my team is entirely used to my being back for good yet. The team is still working on everything going back to the way it was. Funny, I don't want that. Before, I was the captain of the team, not to mention the star player. While what's left of my ego doesn't mind being the star player, it'll be a long time before I want to be the leader of anything again. That's not the sort of thing I can say to a group of eleven and twelve year olds. At least, not eleven and twelve year olds who don't know where I've been. If I wanted to tell Leafmon or Yolei or even Davis, that I was uncomfortable with positions of authority, they'd understand completely. Well, not understand, but know where I was coming from, at least. The last thing I want to do right now is start barking out orders. After practice, I ran straight home. I couldn't stand it, everyone was expecting me to tell them what to do. I had no right! Let them look to the coach, that's what he's there for! It was a few minutes after 5:30 when I got home. I dumped my duffel bag on the floor in my room and slammed the door behind me. "What's a matter, Ken?" Leafmon asked when I got home. "Practice," I answered. I crossed the room to my bed where Leafmon stays hidden and pulled him into my arms. Ever since he was reconfigured, I've just really liked holding him. I started pacing. My mind was racing with frustration. "You're really tense, Ken," Leafmon pointed out. "I know," I sighed. "I don't think I'm going to be able to concentrate on studying today." "I've got an idea," Leafmon said. "What?" "We can go to the Digital World! No other humans are there, so you can relax and study outside in the nice weather! And I can Digi-volve into a form with legs!" "You must get sick of being a little round blob, huh?" "Sometimes, I just get the erge to walk. Hopping only gets you so far." "Okay, okay, but we can't stay too long. I have to be back by seven, for dinner or my parents will get worried." "Yay!" I strolled over to my computer and flicked it on. Taking out my D-3, I performed the familiar sequence to open a port, and transported myself, Leafmon and a few books to the Digital World. A flash blinded me for a moment, but before I knew it, I was breathing in the clear air, with Wormmon by my side and those books resting in a neat pile in the grass. I dropped backwards and lied down in the grass. The sight of Wormmon's big blue eyes greeted me, and suddenly, the day seemed a lot brighter. "Enough legs for ya?" I asked, tapping one of his claws. "Yeah!" I rolled over on to my stomach and pulled the top book off the pile and opened it. As I read, I bent my knees so that my feet were in the air and waved them a bit. Wormmon marched in circles around me, content in my company and being able to walk. "Japanese history. Never a strong point of mine." I looked up to see Hawkmon hovering over me and reading over my shoulder. Naturally, Yolei was near by. "Hi, Ken," she said. "I was on-line and saw someone was here. Once I realized it was you, I figured I ought to come over before Cody finds out you were here alone and throws a fit." "He doesn't seem like the type," I said. "He's not," Yolei said. She dropped to the ground beside me and sat, pulling her legs up to her chest. "They don't think badly of you, Ken, but coming here alone is pushing your luck. They might assume you're trying something. Cody especially, but you know how Davis is, too." "I'm not trying anything, Yolei, I just thought I could relax." "Bad day?" "Very." "What happened?" She asked. "I had soccer practice," I muttered. "Don't you like soccer?" "Yes, but I'm the captain of the team. Everyone was looking to me for instructions." "Oh," She squeaked. "If I have to tell one more person what to do, I think I'm going to vomit." Yolei was silent. "The worst part," I said, rolling over to lie on my back, "is that I have to tell them to kick the ball." I reached over and pulled Wormmon onto my stomach. "Do you have any idea how many times I kicked Wormmon?" Wormmon snuggled against me. "It's all right, Ken," he said. "No! It's not!" I cried, sitting up. "Ken," Yolei said, "you saw what you were doing was wrong, and then you helped save this world. Ken, you have to stop beating yourself up over it. It's in the past, and you can't change it. You can only try to make things better and you have. You've earned your Digimental, Ken. You're a very kind boy, you don't deserve what you're doing to yourself." "Yes, I do. Yolei, it's the only thing in the world that I deserve." She scowled. I noticed there were tears forming in the corners of her eyes. I sat up, awed. And then she hit me. Hard. "If you really believe that, don't bother talking to me until you come to your senses." Yolei stood and I could see the tears were spilling down her face. Furiously, she wiped them away. "Come on, Hawkmon," she sniffed. "We're going home." I didn't say anything, I didn't try to stop her. I just laid back down and let her leave. I don't know how to act around her.