.The View From Here. by Angel of Ice   Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing and I doubt anyone's even bothering to read this disclaimer...but hey, don't wanna get sued. A/N- most of my fics are sappy and romantic, so I wanted a change and write something intellectual, for once ^_~. This takes place during episode 49. It's Noin's POV as she watches the final battle between Zechs and Heero. Enjoy......... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Noin sat in her white Taurus, without a word, giving Zechs her silent support. The vid-link between the two suits flickered as Zechs' face reappeared. "Noin" he said in his soft gravelly voice. His ice blue eyes were dead-set and determined and Noin knew that nothing she could do would stop him. "Zechs" she murmured, bowing her head, in homage to what he was about to do. He was so selfless. Zechs Merquise, Milliardo Peacecraft, whichever one of his aliases he took up, no matter how different each persona seemed, Noin knew that deep inside was the same self-sacrificial man that she had loved ever since she met him at Lake Victoria Academy. Lake Victoria Academy. It seemed like an eternity ago, decades since they had been the carefree teenagers they had been there. Forever since they had sat under the oak tree that stood behind the school and talk about space and the values of war. Since she had laughed along with Zechs and especially since that first sweet kiss under the very same tree. Was it really only a year ago? Noin mused, it feels so long. She had lost that innocent and naiveté she had had when she was a Specials-in-training. She had been exposed to the cruel scenario of war, death and bloodshed. Her own hands were tainted with the blood of many. The numbers dimmed against the likes of Zechs and Treize but still....so many people had lost their lives at the hands of Lucrezia Noin. She felt guilty, as all soldiers do and often questioned the need for her in this world. Did the universe really need a killer like her? Zechs was her one true reason for staying alive, along with her ideals of peace. He needed her, peace needed her. Without those two, Noin would be nothing, faded into the shadows like a child of the night. Or a soldier, who's background was stained with crimson. She looked back up at Zechs finally, meetings his eyes. She had told him she wanted to be by his side. She meant that with every fiber of her being. She had wanted to be by his side all the time, even when he led the White Fang. She didn't believe in all of his ideals but she didn't care. She didn't have to fight along him, just remain by his side. Give him support and made sure he didn't fall into the abyss his constant self-hate created. "He's here" Zechs said plainly. Noin gazed at the face of a man meeting his death. There was a trace of sadness yet utmost determination in the lines of his face. "I'm not going to say goodbye" she said softly. Zechs' fierce eyes bore into her being, then softened. "I understand" he replied, "make sure you don't get into the battle". Then Epyon flew off, leaving the Taurus standing alone.  Noin knew that was Zechs' own way of caring, by not letting her get involved. He wanted to die by himself, rid the world of the terror he was. She saw Wing Zero's brilliant wings in the distance as Epyon flew towards it, the deep red of the Gundam blending into the dark space sky. Crimson-coloured, Epyon was. Noin wondered if Treize had done that on purpose. She knew he had intended Zechs to pilot it. As much as His Excellency was hard to understand, she knew that much. Had he coloured Epyon crimson, the colour of blood, on purpose? Maybe he had known it matched its pilot's mission, its purpose. Noin watched with apprehensive, yet fearful eyes as Epyon stopped in front of Wing Zero. She turned her head away sharply, as they exchanged their first blow, marking the beginning of the last battle. She found she could not watch, watch the man she loved meet his doom. Or if he won, watch Heero meet his doom. Yet deep inside there was a tingling of hope, shadowed by the fear but still it flickered. This was the last battle, with this marked the end of the war. The end of the war. Those words had sounded blissful to Noin all the time, but now she was not sure, if it meant losing Zechs. Stop being so selfish. You may lose Zechs but that's only one person. If this war doesn't end now, millions of lives will be lost. Noin felt guilty and selfish for those thoughts and she looked down at her hands. She had been brought up as a soldier ever since she was thirteen years old, trained for the battleground, hardened. But even the hardness she had developed as a soldier could not keep the tear from falling. The tear held everything that was Lucrezia Noin. The sorrow, the guilt, the faint joy, all the emotions she had felt during this dastardly war but never let out. She felt betrayal, love and fear. She closed her eyes, then looked up slowly, afraid to see. She braced herself as she saw Wing Zero blast its canon at Epyon, then looked in the opposite direction, at the bright stars twinkling in the stretch of black velvet. Yet even the star's brilliance was dimmed by the bright fire of the explosions and the battles going on in the distance. Noin never really believed in Relena's ideals of total pacifism. She believed that you had to fight for freedom, otherwise you could never truly maintain it. She agreed with Zechs and Treize's belief that you have to imprint the horror on people's minds, so they will never repeat the same mistakes again. But then, she never wanted this many lives to be lost, this many lights extinguished into the dark ebony. She often wondered about the people she killed. Whether their families, loved ones, friends were mourning for them. This brought a fierce wave of guilt, Noin closed her eyes as it washed over her. She felt responsible for her student's deaths. They might have never died if I had trained them better. Yet she looked up again at the battle taking place. She didn't know what to feel about this anymore, she didn't know what to feel about anything. She wanted peace with all of her heart, but she wanted Zechs with all of her heart. It was a painful ache in her ribcage, as she watched the two gundams suffer blow after blow. Noin's brow quivered, as she tried to keep the tears of frustration from coming. She wondered what her life would've been like if the Eve war had never happened, if she had never joined Lake Victoria Academy. I'd be the orphaned street urchin that I was before the Academy, on the streets and stealing food from the Italian marketplaces. But even that fate seemed a bit better than the one she experienced now as a soldier. The man who had found her in the Italian streets, chased after a baker who's loaf she had just stolen. That man who's name she never found out saved her, then offered her to give her the experience of a lifetime. He told her she could see space and the young Noin's eyes had glimmered at that thought. She had a faint memory of lying in a hammock on a porch, with a man she supposed was her father and gazing into the night sky. The faint sound of a deep voice singing "Twinkle twinkle little star" rang in her head. Noin didn't know what that memory was of, but it had left her yearning to see space. It was her dream and that man who had found her could give her that dream. So she had obeyed him, leaving the cobbled, dirty streets and into a military boarding school. It had not seemed terrible back then. It wasn't until she actually saw war that she knew how terrible it was. Nothing really prepared her for all that bloodshed. Yes she had seen space but even now that dream didn't seem like it mattered. Look where following that dream had left her. She may have met Zechs by choosing that path, but sometimes she wondered if it was even worth meeting him. Her life would've been so much less complicated but then, she could never imagine life without Zechs. Life and Zechs always seemed to be linked in her mind, as obsessive as that might have sounded. A giant explosion rocked her Taurus as she jerked her eyes back up at the battle. Epyon had caused an explosion. Zechs....she thought with awe. She had always admired Zechs, hero-worshiped him. He was everything she had wanted to be. Brave, calm and driven. Noin's faith often wavered but she admired Zechs because he knew what he was doing and was willing to do it until his death. The vid-link flickered again and Noin's breath caught in her throat. Was it? No it couldn't be, he's too busy with the battle she thought, a feeling of disappointment and despair filled her as Lady Une's face appeared. She asked Noin if she was watching the final battle and if she could relay the images. Noin paused for a second. Lady Une had never been civil to her before, she thought as she placed a hand next to her cheek remembering the time she had slapped her. She declined Lady Une, not exactly knowing why, if it was matter of pride. The Lady had smiled sadly and told her that it was for peace, from one believer to another. Those words touched Noin as she consented and pressed the image relay button. Then she resumed to her thoughts. She couldn't bear to watch the battle, not knowing its outcome. War and peace, peace and war. Sometimes the two seemed like the same thing. War was the price for peace, she believed and she was willing to pay that price. This hell had lasted for so long, it seemed. It may have been only a year since the war had started but it dragged on forever. Noin woke up each day knowing the day would bring tragedy. It continued to the point where she was not even sure she wanted to wake up anymore. As a child, Noin had always believed the world was a beautiful place. Now she was not sure. The earth was now scorched and charred, the skies above filled with battle-fire. Fire of doom, its red and orange flames dancing about as space fell into chaos. Space was just Zechs and Treize's battleground, they had torn it apart in this war. That was something Noin held against Zechs, for destroying her childhood dream. She had wanted it to remain perfect, as a memory of the innocent child she once was. Now she knew that was impossible. A message broadcasted from the radio within the Taurus, informing the universe of OZ's surrender and the colony's acceptation of that surrender. Noin felt a light song in her heart. The war was over, what she had been fighting for was finally attained. She felt a faint sense of completion, knowing she would not have to lose herself into this hell anymore. But that song quickly lay murdered as her current situation caught up with her thoughts. She knew the two men would not stop fighting....it was destined that they would stop the war. Another giant explosion rocked the Taurus and Noin struggled to regain control of her suit. Her wild eyes looked up as she saw a piece of Libra fly to the earth. A gasp escaped from her throat. Then everything seemed to play in slow yet desperately painful motion. She watched with anxious eyes as both Epyon and Wing Zero flew to that piece. She knew the fate of one of them now, just she was not sure which one. Yet a deep pain in her chest told her that Zechs would not allow Heero to self-detonate. All of a sudden, it struck with a sickening force. No! Damn it, damn this bloody war! Her fears confirmed as she saw Epyon disappear in a flash of white burning hot fire that she felt from even here. "Zechs!" she cried out in a strangled voice as she saw pieces of Epyon flying. Tears blurred her eyes as she banged her fists against the dashboard, in pain. She looked up again and could make out the stars in the distance. They seemed to have lost some of their earlier glow or maybe it just appeared that way in Noin's sorrow. "No" she whispered as the barrier fell and the tears started to flow. She had fought for him, stayed by his side and now he had left her. Left her truly alone in this world. It may be a peaceful world now but it was still a shattered world, who's pieces she would have to continue to pick up for eternity. Then she brushed those tears away with her sleeve, Zechs would've wanted her to be strong. Her eyes widened in horror, a second later as she saw a piece of Libra, unharmed by Zechs' sacrificial explosion, still hurtling towards Earth, enough to do it great damage. All of a sudden, Noin felt anger. She felt like Zechs had died in vain, as many others had. He had not stopped the final piece of Libra.......the anger surged over her like a wave, but was soon overcome with sadness and fear. She saw Wing Zero fly towards the piece. She didn't feel angry with Heero, it wasn't his fault Zechs chose to sacrifice himself for peace. He won't make it she thought as the piece entered the Earth's atmosphere, his Gundam can't stand the impact of reentry. Everything seemed to come crashing down, the loss of Zechs, the fear for Heero, the joy of peace, everything until Noin could no longer control the emotions as she broke down sobbing. Through tears she saw Wing Zero strain against the Earth's atmosphere. She held her breath as Heero caught up toe the piece and even smiled a faint tight smile as Heero exploded it. The Earth was saved. So maybe Zechs had not died in vain after all. She shook the tears away and tried to smile to Quatre who had contacted her through the vid-link. "Miss Noin, the war is over!" he said in a joyous voice. "Yes" she replied, with a steadiness she never knew she had, "it is". Noin let the others fly towards Heero to congratulate him. She paused and looked back at the still fiery remaining pieces of Epyon. "Noin..." came a hoarse voice over her radio. Noin's eyes darted around. "Zechs?" she asked, voice quivering. "Zechs, are you alive? Talk to me!". But everything was silent. The fires still raged, blinding Noin's vision as she gave up trying to find him. But somehow, a new faith had sprung up in her, he wasn't dead. A bit of the pain was lifted off of her soldiers as this strong faith surged within her. He would return. As crazy as it might have sounded, Noin knew it with such a positiveness, it scared her. Zechs Merquise wouldn't die this easily. She allowed herself a small smile as she went to join the others, in a celebration of their newfound peace. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Epilogue~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Noin walked towards the two simple gravestones, on top of the hill. She was in the Eve War memorial cemetery in Luxemburg. She carried a bouquet of roses, for His Excellency, Treize Khushrenada. She walked up the hill towards the twin gravestones. "Dorothy" she said, recognizing the figure of the slender blond woman. She turned around, "Miss Noin" she replied. "Here again?" Noin asked gently. Dorothy sighed, a remorseful sigh. "Yes but this is the last time. I can't always live in the past". Noin nodded, she understood. She stepped forwards and placed the simple bouquet on Treize's grave, then stepped back. Dorothy looked at her with curious eyes. "How come you never pay your respects to Mister Milliardo's grave?" she asked. Noin smiled and looked up into the blue sky, cloudless and peaceful. "'Cause I don't need to" she replied. "Huh?" the other woman asked puzzled. "I know he's still out there somewhere and one day he'll return" she said simply, then left the other woman standing alone, as she made her way down the hill. I just hope you come back to me soon, Zechs. I miss you and I can't keep on trying to convince the others you're alive. Oh Zechs...................I love you. Then she smiled again. The war was over. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A/N- There we go......how did you like it? I thought it wasn't that bad..........but anyways, please review and tell me what you think.