“Everyone, I need your help,” Makoto told the others. They were all gathered at their usual meeting place in the temple, except for Ryoku. “I can’t find my brother. He didn’t come home yesterday and I’m worried sick….” She trailed off into worried silence. “He won’t even answer his communicator. I’ve tried contacting him for the past few hours, but I’ve had no luck.”
Ami pulled out her communicator and tried to contact him. When she received no response, she pulled out her minicomputer and hooked up her communicator into it.
“He’s shut his communicator off and disconnected the power source,” she concluded, frowning worriedly. “He knows I can trace his position with my computer, even if he shuts off the communicator. The only way he can keep me from finding him this way is by removing the power source.”
“It looks like he doesn’t want to be found,” Minako remarked. She wore a concerned expression on her face that matched everyone else’s.
“Rei-chan, do you think you can consult the sacred fire?” Usagi asked.
“I’ll try, but I don’t know if it’ll work,” she said, getting to her feet. “He’s neither an entity, nor evil, so I don’t know if I can find him that way. The sacred flame isn’t exactly for finding lost people.”
Everyone else got to their feet and followed her into the room. Moments later, they were all seated in a line behind Rei as she began chanting quietly.
After what seemed like hours – but in reality, was only fifteen minutes – Rei shook her head and turned toward the others.
“Sorry,” she said quietly. “I can’t find a trace of him.”
“Maybe we should just wait until he comes back,” Ami suggested. “After all, it’s not like he’s going to stay away forever, right? He should come back eventually.”
“I know that, Ami-chan,” Makoto replied as she got to her feet, “but I know my brother. The only reason he’d do something like this is because he doesn’t want anyone else involved in his problems; not even me. He hasn’t done something like this in years and when he did, he was gone for a whole week before he came back.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “Our friends and I searched for him, but we couldn’t find him.
“I don’t want to wait another week until he decides to come back. I need to go look for him.”
“We’ll help you look for him, Mako-chan,” Usagi told her as she and the others got to their feet. “Right?”
“Of course,” Rei and Minako replied.
“Right,” Ami agreed. “I’ll get Ryo-san to help us look for him. Maybe he’ll be able to find him.”
“Oh, right,” Usagi replied, grinning. “Must be handy having a boyfriend who can predict things.”
“Usagi-chan, this isn’t the time for that,” Ami chided.
“Sorry.”
“At any rate, I’ll go see if he’s willing to help.”
“The rest of us will start looking,” Rei added.
“Don’t worry, Mako-chan,” Ami said as she headed out the door. “We’ll find him.” Makoto merely nodded and followed everyone out the door.
“Oh, Ami-san,” Ryo said as he answered the door. “Is something wrong? You seem worried over something.”
“Ryo-san, Ryo-kun’s missing,” Ami told him. “I thought that you might be able to help us find him.”
“You mean, with my precognitive power?” he asked. “I’ll try, but it’s been getting weaker and weaker ever since that Rainbow Crystal was removed from me.”
“Even if you can’t use your powers, then another pair of eyes would help,” she reassured him.
He nodded and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. He took one step forward and stopped abruptly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, turning to him.
“I just received a vision,” he informed her. “I know where Ryoku-san is.”
“Wonderful, Ryo-san!” she replied. “I’ll tell the others.” She brought out her communicator and contacted the others. “Everyone, I have good news. Ryo’s had a vision and knows where Ryo-kun is.”
“He does?” Makoto said, greatly relieved. “Where?”
“I can’t tell you yet,” he replied.
“What?!?” everyone shouted at once. “Why?”
“If we all go to see him, then he’ll leave and go to another hiding place,” he told them. “My visions aren’t as frequent as they used to be and I never know when one will come. I don’t know if I’ll be able to find him again if he leaves.”
“What can we do then?” Makoto asked desperately. “Do you know how long he’ll be gone at least?”
“To answer your second question: four days more,” he told her. “As for what we can do, I can go talk to him. But, only me. From where he’s hiding, he’ll be able to see if anyone else is coming.”
“Where is he?” she asked.
“Somewhere where you’d least expect him to be, especially considering his past,” he replied solemnly. “The Tenth Street bridge.”
“The Tenth Street bridge?” she repeated incredulously. “Why would he want to go back to where…? Wait…. How do you know about that? Did he tell you?”
“No, I saw it in another vision I had before,” he replied. “One day soon, he’ll tell all of you about it, as he promised you. That is how I know.”
“We’ll contact you all again when he has talked to him,” Ami told them and shut off her communicator.
“Ryo-san,” Ami began, “you know what happened to Ryo-kun in the past?”
“Yes,” he replied, nodding as he started walking. “It’s so sad and yet, it answers a lot of questions I’ve had about him.”
“What could’ve happened to him to make him become so cold and melancholic?” she asked.
“Out of respect to Ryoku-san, I can’t tell you that, Ami-san,” he answered and left.
“I know, Ryo-san. I was just thinking out loud,” she said to herself.
Makoto shut off her communicator and turned toward the Tenth Street bridge. She knew that Ryoku tended to avoid that place as often as he could, but for him to go there voluntarily?
Ryo-chan.…
Ryoku watched the sun grow closer and closer toward the western horizon. The sky had turned its usual red-orange color and he could see a few bright stars near the eastern horizon.
He sat over the side of the bridge and stared down into the water below. The surface of the water was calm, as usual. Here and there, a few waves broke, but that was it. He gave a small, tired sigh and swung his legs over the side. As much as the depressive memories of this place suited his gloomy mood, he was growing tired of just staring into the water all day.
As he was getting to his feet, he noticed someone walking toward him from the end of the bridge.
Ryo.
Seeing that he was alone, he decided that he didn’t have to hurry on his way. He did watch for any sign of the girls, however. He knew Makoto was worried, but he wasn’t ready to talk yet. He still needed to be alone. But, still, that was no reason to run away from Ryo. He was a good friend of his. He should at least say hi.
“Hello, Ryo,” Ryoku greeted, nodding a small greeting.
“Ryoku-san, can I talk to you for a minute?” Ryo asked.
“Something wrong?” Ryoku asked, frowning slightly.
“I know you’re leaving in a minute, so do you mind if I walk with you?”
“All right,” Ryoku replied. They both headed back the way Ryo had arrived.
“The girls are worried about you, especially your sister.”
“I know,” Ryoku replied emotionlessly.
“I know about Keiko-san,” Ryo added.
Ryoku stopped abruptly. “Did Mako-chan tell you?” he asked quietly, while scowling toward the ground.
“No. I saw it in a vision. You were telling them your story, so I know it now. Is that why you were helping Usagi-san set me up with Ami-san that day? And why you have given up on her, even though I know you still like her?”
Ryoku stopped scowling and continued walking. He was silent for a long time.
“Yes… and no,” he admitted finally. “I can’t really explain what I feel, since I can’t understand it myself. There is more behind the reasons why I chose not to pursue her – more than I suspect you think – but, I really do not wish to talk about it. I left for that reason. I’m still not sure why I’m telling you all this.”
“I’m very grateful for all you’ve done for me, Ryoku-san,” Ryo told him. “You could’ve convinced Usagi-san not to help me that day. And I’m positive you were the one who had told her to be more honest with herself.”
“I was.”
“Even though you care for Ami-san, you gave her up in my favor. Not many friends would do such a thing.”
“Are you trying to convince me to go back?” Ryoku asked.
“Honestly, yes. Like I said before, everyone’s worried. You can’t blame yourself for what happ….”
“That’s exactly why I haven’t told anyone my story!” Ryoku snapped angrily as he turned and pointed at him for emphasis. “I don’t need anyone telling me that it’s not my fault and I should put the past behind me! Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I would’ve done so if I could? The past haunts me, Urawa. It won’t leave me alone. I can’t forget, no matter how much I try. You’ve heard the story; you should understand. Could you forget if it happened to you?”
“I don’t know….”
“I don’t blame you,” Ryoku said solemnly. “It is something no one wants to think about. Please, don’t tell me what I should do unless you have experienced it for yourself. And I hope you never do.”
“I’m sorry, Ryoku-san,” Ryo said, placing a consoling hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Ryo,” Ryoku told him as he sighed tiredly. “In a way, I should be thanking you. I feel much better now. I’m going back. Do you want to come with me?”
“I might as well, since they’ll want to thank me for ‘finding’ you,” Ryo replied, shrugging.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“What is it?”
“Don’t tell anyone what we’ve talked about, all right?”
“Why?”
“Just… don’t.”
“All right.”
They walked in silence the rest of the way to Ami’s house.
A few days later, Ryo left again with his father. Ami sadly watched as he left. They had spent as much time as they could together, until he had to leave. They were both expecting it, but they were still surprised with the day finally came.
Everyone had come to give him as big a send off as before, but this time Minako was there as well. Just as before, Ami ran with the train all the way to the end. This time, there were tears in her eyes as the train left. Just as before, Ryoku remained behind with Ami as the others left.
When Ryoku walked Ami home, he kept silent. He hadn’t been saying much lately, ever since he and Ryo had that talk a few days ago.
It had been very quiet lately. No attempts for Usagi’s crystal; no attacks by the Dark Kingdom; no anything. They were glad for a break from Scout business, but this long of a break was beginning to worry both Luna and Artemis. They could understand how they could have a short respite after healing Mamoru. Although he was recaptured, it would take a while for them to rebrainwash him. However, the length that the Dark Kingdom had been silent was, to the cats’ minds, tantamount to the plotting of some huge scheme that was bound to be big trouble for them.
They suggested that the Scouts remain on guard for anything remotely suspicious. Ryoku nodded readily, as if he had been suspecting the same thing. Makoto, Ami, Minako and Rei also agreed, but Usagi told Luna that she thought that she was just being paranoid. She agreed to keep a watch as well, though it was a halfhearted agreement.
Ami was getting ready to begin studying when she heard a knock on the front door. She set her book down and rushed to the front door quickly. “Coming!” she shouted before the visitor could knock again. “Yes?” she asked as she opened the door.
“Hello, Ami-chan,” Ryoku replied with a slight nod of his head.
“Oh, Ryo-kun, hello,” she said with a smile as she gestured for him to enter. “You’re right on time, as usual.”
“Nothing wrong with punctuality,” he replied with a small half-grin. “Have you gotten everything ready for our study session?”
“Yes, everything’s ready in the living room.”
“Okay, what subject shall we start on? Math, Science or something else?”
“You pick one, Ryo-kun.”
“How about this one?” he asked pointing to one at random. “English.”
“Sounds good to me,” she replied, picking up the book and opening it. “I’ve been meaning to learn more English words, but I’ve been busy for a while.”
“I know,” he said quietly to himself and sat next to her, peering down into the open book in front of them.
“Shall we begin?” Ami asked in English as she slid the book over so that it was between them.
“Yes, let us begin,” Ryoku agreed, also in English.
“I am growing tired of studying this language,” Ryoku muttered, not really realizing that he had ironically muttered his sentence in English. “Can we study another subject?”
“All right,” Ami replied. “How about this one?”
“Physics?” he said, reading the cover. “Okay, but let’s continue our conversation in Japanese, all right? English gives me a headache sometimes with all those weird rules and different vowel pronunciations. What’s wrong with having just one vowel sound per vowel, anyway?”
Ami laughed a little. “I don’t know, Ryo-kun, but there must be a good reason, right?”
“I suppose,” he assented, shrugging and getting to his feet. “I’m growing a little thirsty. How about you?”
“Yes, I’m a little thirsty myself,” she agreed, getting to her feet as well. “I’ll make us something to drink.”
“No, don’t worry,” he told her, taking a few steps toward the kitchen. “I’ll take care of it. You stay there, okay? I’ll only take a minute.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I should be the one serving since it is my house.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it,” he said, walking into the kitchen. “Anything in particular you want?”
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” she replied, sitting back down and peering down into her textbook.
As Ryoku was busy in the kitchen, the phone rang. Ami reached over and picked up the receiver. “Hello?” she answered.
“Hello, Ami-san,” A familiar voice replied quietly.
“Ryo-san, is there something wrong?” Ami asked.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” he said hesitantly.
“What is it?”
“The good news is that my father’s job has become permanent, which means that I no longer have to move anymore.”
“That’s great. What’s the bad news?”
“The bad news is that his new job is in America.”
Ami gave a small gasp of shock. “You have to move all the way to America?”
“I’m afraid so,” he replied sadly. “From what I’ve seen, the likelihood of my coming back to Japan is very slim, so I won’t be able to see you again for a very long time, if ever. I’m so sorry, Ami-san.”
“I can’t believe this…,” she whispered sadly, tears slowly beginning to form in her eyes. “You’re… leaving me? Just when our relationship was beginning?”
“It wasn’t my fault, Ami-san,” he replied quickly. “I can’t control my father’s career. I can’t do anything about this.
“Listen, Ami-san. I know Ryoku-san is there with you. That’s the reason why I’ve waited until now to call you. Can I speak with him for a moment in private?”
“O… okay,” she replied. “Ryo-kun? Can you come here, please?”
Ryoku walked into the living room with two cups in his hands. “It sounded like you could use this,” he said quietly, handing her a cup. Ami looked into her cup and saw that he had made her hot chocolate.
“Thank you, Ryo-kun,” she replied, wiping her eyes and offered him the phone. “Ryo-san wants to speak with you in private.”
“Then, I’ll take this into the kitchen,” he said, taking the phone and walking into the kitchen with his cup in the other hand.
“You have something to say to me?” he asked after closing the kitchen door and making sure that the cord was tucked under the door. He set his cup down and quickly forgot about it.
“I want you to know that my father’s job is taking me permanently to America,” Ryo told him.
“No wonder Ami-chan was upset,” Ryoku said understandingly. “I’m sorry to hear you’re leaving.”
“I’m giving you a second chance, Ryoku-san.”
“A second chance for what?” he asked, slightly confused.
There was a slight pause, which he took to mean that Ryo was probably grinning at his naïveté. “Can you promise me to look after Ami-san?”
“Always.”
“I knew you would. Listen, I know you have a lot on your mind, but you shouldn’t let opportunities pass you by. If you do, then you’ll never know if you’re missing out on a great thing. I almost missed out on having Ami-san as my girlfriend, for even this short time, just because I was too worried about her rejecting me and me not being good enough for her. Thanks to you, I have this short memory to remember forever.
“Can you give me back to Ami-san, now?” Ryo asked.
“Oh…. Sure, Ryo,” Ryoku replied and opened the kitchen door. “Here,” he said, handing her back the phone.
“Thank you, Ryo-kun,” she said as she took back the phone. He nodded and went back into the kitchen, closing the door behind him. “Ryo-san?”
“I can’t tell you how much I wish this didn’t have to happen,” he told her despondently.
“I understand,” she replied sadly. “I really wish you didn’t have to go.”
“The only consolation for me is that I’ll be leaving you in good hands,” he told her. “Goodbye, Ami-san.” He slowly hung up the phone and sighed to himself.
Ryoku-san, you and Ami-san belong together. I didn’t want to tell you, but I’ve always known that, and yet I still wanted to be with her. I’m sorry for coming between you two. I hope you take that second chance I gave you, Ryoku-san. You’ll be missing out on a good thing if you don’t.…
“Ryo-san?” Ami called into the receiver, but there was no answer. She slowly hung up the phone and started crying.
A few minutes later, Ryoku opened the kitchen door and slowly stepped into the room. He closed the door behind him, walked over to her, and sat next to her while setting down his untouched cup of hot chocolate on the nearby table.
As soon as she felt Ryoku sit down next to her, she reached out to him and started crying on his shoulder. He just looked down at her in surprise, then slowly wrapped his arms around her and began stroking the back of her head, while making soft, soothing noises in an attempt to assuage her despair.
Slowly, Ami began to calm herself. Her crying slowly began to stop as she felt herself being comforted by him. When her crying stopped completely, she still didn’t back away from him. Something felt… right about being in his arms like this….
Ryoku could hear her crying had abated and stopped altogether. When she made no move to remove herself from his embrace, he began to consider the blue-haired girl in his arms; the way it felt so… right about holding her like this….
Slowly, almost hesitantly, the two began to move apart, only slightly. Just enough so that they could look at each other, but not enough to remove themselves from their partial embrace. Blue eyes stared wonderingly into gray eyes.
I feel so strange…, Ami thought to herself as she felt herself unconsciously moving forward and her eyes starting to close. What is this I’m feeling? I’ve never felt this way with Ryo-san. Is this…?
What’s going on? Ryoku thought to himself as he felt himself unconsciously moving forward and his eyes starting to close. What am I doing? Am I going to kiss her? No, this shouldn’t be happening. I shouldn’t be doing this. I can’t… but, why do I feel like this? I’ve never felt this way with Keiko-chan.… Keiko-chan!!!
Ryoku’s eyes snapped open. He found himself very close to Ami. If he had stalled for a few seconds longer, he would’ve actually kissed her. As he looked down at her beautiful face, seeing her eyes closed and the serene expression on her face, he almost considered kissing her anyway. With great reluctance, he pulled himself away and began to stare down toward the floor.
Ami felt Ryoku move away and opened her eyes. Belatedly, she realized what she was going to do and she began to blush furiously. Luckily, he was staring at the floor and not at her. She watched as he reached for the cup that was still sitting on the table and placed it into her hands.
“Here,” he said quietly as her continued to stare down at his hands, refusing to look up at her. “I think you might need this.”
“What…?” she was about to ask when he placed a silencing finger on her lips.
“Let’s not talk about what just happened,” he told her, still not looking directly at her. “I’m going into the kitchen to make some more hot chocolate. I’m still a little thirsty. Besides, we still have some more studying to do.” He turned and walked into the kitchen closing the door behind him.
“But, I want to talk, Ryo-kun,” she whispered toward the closed kitchen door. “I want to know what this is I’m feeling for you….” She looked down into the cup of hot chocolate he had placed into her hands.
Ryoku leaned back against the closed kitchen door, his fists clenched and eyes closed as he bowed his head in confusion. His mind was a total mess and his concentration was shattered. His thoughts flashed through memories, feelings, and desires… and the turbulent conflicts between.
“Why am I feeling this way?” he whispered to himself. “I shouldn’t be, but I am. I feel as though I’ve betrayed Keiko-chan, but that’s impossible.
“Why won’t my heart leave me alone!!!” he murmured to himself as his legs gave way to the bewilderment in his mind and allowed him to slide slowly down to the floor in a small, helpless heap.
“Why won’t my heart leave me alone…?”
To Chapter 38: Sailor Venus’ Tragic Past