RATED NC17

 The Captain was in her ready room, she wasn’t working; more like hiding. Another disagreement with her First Officer shouldn’t be a surprise it was common enough these days.  They had disagreed more and spent less time together lately.  Six years of close friendship and it seem to be falling apart, both personally and professionally.  They never or almost never agreed on anything, from what the dinner menu should include to the best course home, to crew evaluations; they fought about everything.
 
Chakotay used to pick his battles, only oppose her when it was really important, but not any more.  Today it had been crew rotation.  She thought they weren’t given enough opportunity, he thought they needed a certain amount of stability and had ample opportunity, all they had to do was request it.  This was his department and she knew he felt she was intruding, but it was her ship, she had the right to question anything and everything about it.  He thought she was being pigheaded and nit picking, she thought -- god, honestly she thought he was right.
 
It was past time for the shift to end, another time he would have come in try to cajole her into leaving the ready room, maybe invite her to dinner. Tonight he was probably dining with some ensign -- no, not some ensign with Lieutenant Carrey Newtenson.  They spent time together these days; he even played pool as her partner.  He needed to have a life; she was losing her best friend.  The door chimed.
 
“Come.”
 
“Captain.”
 
“Yes, Commander, what can I do for you?”  She was surprised, pleasantly, and it showed in her smile.

“Shift is long over, time for dinner, would you join me?”
 
“Oh, I don’t think…..”  She looked at him again.  “Yes, I think that would be nice, thank you.”  Now it was his turn to be surprised and that showed too.

“Wonderful, My quarters half an hour -- no uniform.”  He flashed her the dimples.
 
“It’s a ---I’ll be there.”

Kathryn left the ready room shortly after that.  Time for a quick sonic shower and change of clothes, and she rang the chime;  only ten minutes late.
 
“Come. You’re late, Kathryn.”   He called out from the other room.
 
“Sorry.”  She yelled back and he laughed.

“I’ll be right out, wine’s on the coffee table.”
 
“OK.”  She poured a glass and wandered to the view port.  Watching the stars, wondering what went wrong, lost in her own world.
 
“Dinner will ready in a few minutes.” He was standing beside her and she jumped at the sound of his voice.  “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
 
"I was just lost in thought.”  He was standing close; she stepped back.  "Smells good.”  Kathryn wandered back to the table.  How had she become so uncomfortable with him?
 
Over dinner their conversation became more comfortable, more like normal.  They even joked about some of the stupid arguments they had recently.  It usually came down to this, if it was just the two of them; it worked, only when the rest of the universe, all the other responsibilities intruded--- only then did it get difficult.  They had their coffee on the couch and relaxed like the old friends they were.
 
“Newtenson to Chakotay.”   The comm. broke into their conversation.
 
”Chakotay here.”
 
“What the hell?  Did you forget all about me or what?”
  
“Damn - we had a match tonight?”
 
“Yes and if you don’t get here soon we’re gonna have to forfeit.”
 
“God, sorry --- on my way.”
 
At the sound of Carrey’s voice, Kathryn had gone back to the view port, trying not to intrude on the conversation.
 
“Kathryn, sorry I forgot I had this match.” He looked around for her.
 
“No problem.”  She smiled, as she came back to the couch.  “Thank you for dinner.”
 
“Why don't you come with me?”

“I don’t think so.  Go, I’ll just clean this up and see you tomorrow.”
 
“This will keep, please, I feel bad, come with me.”
 
“No need to feel bad---go on before you are forced to forfeit.”  She gave him a push toward the door.  “Go.”
 
”Sure you won’t come?”
 
“Yes, now go.”  She pushed him out the door.
 
Kathryn cleaned up their dishes and returned to her own quarters. * Well, so much for that. It was nice while it lasted, until she called him. God, Kathryn you’re jealous!  You have no right-- you know that.  You keep telling him to move on, you can’t give him what he needs. ---too much responsibility.  Be happy for him, Carrey is a nice person.  Well this isn’t working.*  She ran a bath and replicated herself a glass of wine.  She soaked until she looked like a prune, then went to bed and tossed most of the night.

Chakotay saw her come into the mess hall, she looked to most people like the Captain, but to him she looked lonely.  She was his best friend, at least she used to be, now he wasn’t so sure.  Kathryn was pushing him away harder than ever, he tried but the more time he spent with other people, the more time she spent alone. He hated it.  Chakotay tried to divide his time carefully, but when they talked him into this pool tournament it turned out to take up more time than he anticipated.  They fought about everything these days, one or the other was always cranky.

“KA..CAPTAIN.”   He waved her over.
 
“Good morning.”  She brought her tray over, hesitating only slightly before she joined them.
 
“Good morning, Captain.”  Carrey gathered up her dishes.  “Gotta go, gonna be late.”
 
”Don’t let me chase you, Lieutenant.”

“Oh no, Captain, I really have to go.  Chakotay I’ll see you later.  Bye”
 
“Yea.”  He shifted back to Kathryn.  “Thank you for cleaning up last night, you didn’t have to do that.”
 
“Nonsense, you made dinner, it's the least I could do.”  She fumbled with her breakfast. ”Sorry, I chased Carrey away.”
 
“You didn’t, she was leaving anyway.”

“So did you win?”
 
”Huh?  Oh last night.  Yea, We’re not a bad team.”  He laughed.  ”We might even have a chance since you aren’t playing.”
 
”I’m not that good -- I don’t always win.”
 
“Oh really?  When was the last time you lost a pool game on this ship?”
 
”OK, OK.”  She laughed now too.  ”So never, but they’re just afraid I’ll demote them or put them out an air lock, or something.  Must be some advantages to being Captain.”
 
“You should come to the next match, could give me an advantage.”
 
“Oh, how's that?”

“Well, if they are all intimidated like you said, then they’ll be nervous and I have a better chance.”
 
”Are you saying you are beyond being intimidated by me?”

“Not at all, you scare the hell out of me.  I’m just used to it.”  He looked up at her and smiled, but there was something serious in his eyes.
 
“Well, we better get to the bridge, it’s almost time to intimidate the senior staff.”  She laughed.  ”Like I could do THAT any more.”
 
The senior staff meeting went pretty much like any other.  All departments reported on their current status, food supplies were low, engineering was in need of dilithium, security was not a problem and the ship was in reasonably good shape.  They weren’t desperate- yet, but supplies would be a nice comfort.   They were headed for an M class, but it didn’t look too promising.  They planned to send two crewmen down to investigate and bring back samples.  Now they were working out who that would be.   The staff was discussing this in small groups.

“Captain.”  Chakotay motioned her to the other end of the room, speaking in a low voice.
 
“What?”  She held her voice down as he had.
 
“I think we should go.”
 
“Go where?  To the planet?”  She couldn’t believe it. ”Why?”
 
“Look there isn’t anything difficult about it, we could both use a little fresh air and I just thought you might like to get away.”
 
”Not a good idea --- both of us.”
 
“Why, Tuvok can handle things and I think we could use a little time, we haven’t exactly been pals lately.  Maybe it would help.”  He gave his best, dimpled smile.
 
“That would be highly irregular, both of us.”  She felt her self succumb to the dimples.
 
”Not really, we used to go on away missions together, and it’s very quiet.”

“I’m not sure.”  She knew he had a point, maybe some time away from Voyager would give them some perspective on their relationship---if they had one anymore.  She nodded.
 
“Settled.”
 
 They returned to the table and informed the staff they would handle the mission themselves.  There was no lack of surprise, especially in light to the obvious tension between the command team over the last few months.  So much surprise that not even Tuvok objected and the matter was settled.   B’Elanna prepared their sample packs, Tuvok made sure they had emergency supplies and they all converged in transporter room one at the appointed time.

The command team transported without problems and found themselves standing on a rocky surface in the bright sunshine.

“The sun is nice anyway.”  He made a face as he looked around. “Not my idea of a vacation spot.”

“No, lets get some readings.” She began to scan the area for the necessary samples.
 
”Do you feel a little like a wayward child?  Tuvok and B’Elanna checking and rechecking our bags before we came down.”
 
“They were a little over protective, like we’ve never done this before.  This way.”  She started off in search of samples.
 
They gathered what was loose and began digging for deeper ore.  The weather changed around them, slowly at first, then more noticeably.  It was colder and darker, but without winds or precipitation.  The atmosphere felt, charged, electric almost.
 
 
”We better get back.”  She stood looking at the changing conditions.  “Janeway to Voyager.”  She received nothing but static.
 
“Problem?”

“Only if you want to go home.”  She checked the reading on her tricorder.  ”Too much interference.”
 
“We better find a place to stay, just in case, it’s getting dark.
 
“Janeway to Voyager.”  Still no response.  “Damn.”  She began to pack up their tools. “Let's see what accommodations they have in this lovely paradise you talked me into.”  It was getting dark quickly.
 
"Stay with me, Kathryn. We have no idea what’s out there.”  He urged as they looked for a place to spend the night.
 
“Please, I’m a big girl.”  She continued on.
 
“So I noticed.”
 
“What?”

“Nothing.”  He followed along. “Slow down.”
 
“No, we have to find something before dark.”  As she turned to continue, she tripped over something and landed on the ground face first, he rushed over to help her up.
 
“See, you need to slow down.”

“What are you my father?”  She snapped shaking off his help.  “I can manage.”
 
“Fine manage, handle everything, make all the decisions. Do what the hell you want.”
 
“You’re out of line, Commander.”  She admonished as she brushed herself off.
 
“Yes, Sir.”  He did it on purpose and they both knew it, he knew she hated to be called sir but couldn’t really object, it was proper protocol.
 
They walked on in steamy silence until suddenly she stumbled and a huge spray of water shot out of the ground soaking her pants and jacket.
 
 “Aghhh, Shit.”  When she yelled he couldn’t help laughing, she looked so funny.  “Oh this is funny? Thank you, Commander.”  She stormed off in front of him.
 
“Kathryn, I’m sorry you…..”
 
”Stow it, Commander.”  She stressed his title.
 
“Look..”
 
“Enough.”
 
“Fine anything you say --Sir.”  He put extra emphasis on the last word.
 
“Don’t call me that!”
 
“It’s proper protocol.”
 
And so the argument started again, over nothing at all.  They argued until she huffed off and then he got silent.  Finally, they came upon this small cove.  It was enclosed on three sides, affording some shelter.  It was dark and getting colder they made camp, such as it was.  They had only a two blankets, nothing to burn so no fire.  They had some emergency rations, water and a charged silence that would have frightened the bravest warrior.
 
Kathryn moved over to the other end of the ledge, pulled off her boots and peeled off her soaking wet pants.  She didn't understand why he was so pig headed sometimes.  She dumped the water out of her boots and twisted what she could out of her socks.  The temperature was dropping, but she was better off without her wet things, so she took off the jacket and turtleneck, at least the tank and underwear were relatively dry and she had a blanket.   Kathryn hung her wet clothes across the back of the ledge.  She knew he was watching her; she could feel his eyes.  *OK- take a good look.*  She stretched to reach the top of the rock wall, smoothing her pants down, spreading them as far as possible, in hopes of getting them a little dryer. Picking up her blanket she wrapped herself and curled up on the cold hard surface.
 
Chakotay was so angry; why did she always do this to him? She was the only one who could make him this angry and over nothing at all.  He rolled up in his blanket and silently watched her move around in the darkness.  She was gonna freeze, her clothes were soaked, why did always insist in doing everything herself?  He watched her remove her boots and pants, then the jacket. Well, they weren’t much good wet, but she was still gonna freeze.
 
Chakotay thought he should offer to share his clothes at least they were dry.  He could see her in the light of the twin moons, as she stretched to hang up her wet clothing.  Just the sight of her dressed only in that tank and those skimpy panties was enough to warm him.   As she reached for the top of the ledge, the tank pulled and he could see the muscles of her stomach drawn taut by the stretch and the round of her hips, hugged by the tiny strip of material that held her panties together.  She knew he was watching, took extra long time smoothing down those pants--*bitch freeze, if you want to.*  He rolled to face the other way.
 
She pulled the blanket tighter; it didn’t help.  *Body heat, yeah that would help, all she had to do was to go over there.  She didn’t even have to ask, she could just order him to keep her warm. What was she thinking? she didn’t have to do that.  Just go over there---but she was too stubborn.  She was angry, but why?--- cause he was right? God is that the problem? No.  The problem was that he was right, she was over that, now she was afraid. Wasn’t that what this was really about in the first place?-- she was afraid.  She was afraid to let him in, afraid to let him go, afraid of what he felt, of her own feelings.  She pushed him away again and again and she was scared to death she had finally lost him.  God she wasn’t even making sense.  Must be the cold. Nice try, Kathryn.
 
Chakotay shifted, drifting in and out of sleep.  It was getting colder. God, if he was cold she must be freezing.  Maybe he should just go over there and -- and what? -get you’re ass thrown in the brig the way this mission was going.  At least it was warm in the brig.  God it was getting cold.  He tried to think how this one got started ---- yea, this one. That’s what it had been lately, one argument after another, always disagreeing about Something --- everything.  What was wrong with her? --What was wrong with him?    He rolled over again-between the hard ground and the cold---and god HER-that wasn’t Starfleet issue underwear--- he couldn’t sleep; he wondered how she could.
 
His movements drew her attention, Kathryn wondered if he were awake or just turning in his sleep.  Did he have any idea what was happening to them?  Besides this damn cold!  She could go over there and get warm, if he wasn’t still mad at her, god all they seem to do any more was fight.  What was wrong with him?  Be fair Kathryn, you know it’s not his fault, you’ve been a bitch lately and you know why.  He was moving on, she sensed it, spirits how many times had she pleaded with him to do it and now she hated it.  She couldn’t do this without him -- no Kathryn be honest, you don’t want to do this with out him, damn you don’t want to do anything with out him!  It was too late or was it?  She sat up, looking in his direction---only one way to find out and yes or no she would be warmer.

“Chakotay, Chakotay, you awake?”  She crept over and shook him lightly.
 
”Yes, Kathryn.  I am now.”   He grunted
 
“Chakotay, I—I’m.. “  She sat shivering in her blanket.
 
“Kathryn ---did you want something---or just to wake me up?”
 
“I’m, I’m cold.”  She took a deep breath.  “Can I come in there with you?”

He said nothing just held open his blanket and she slid out of hers spreading it over them and slipped into his arms.  He was so warm compared to her, she snuggled closer as he wrapped his arms around her.

“My god, Kathryn, if you waited another minute you’d have frozen.”  He shivered as her cold body absorbed his heat.   “Why do you always have to be so damn stubborn?”
 
“ME!  I’m not the only one here, You. ..”  She dropped her head to his chest.  “Let’s not fight just now---OK?”

“OK.”  He struggled up and shrugged out of his jacket, slipping it around her back. “Here, put this around you.”  He pulled her close to him.  ”Go to sleep---good night, Kathryn.”
 
She was snuggled in so close, it was hard to tell, in some places, where one ended and the other started.   Gradually her shivers lessened and her breathing evened out.  He tried to sleep, count sheep, stars, whatever he could think of, just so he wouldn’t think of the half dressed woman in his arms.  It wasn’t easy, he could feel her warm breath through his shirt, smell the soft scent of her hair, feel her breasts crushed up against his chest, and spirits ---this wasn’t just any woman, this was Kathryn.  His Kathryn, the most stubborn, pig headed, irritatingly wonderful woman he had ever know.  Holding her was heaven and hell all at once.  He kissed the top of her head and her hand snaked from between them to touch his face.  He kissed the fingers that touched his lips, sighed and concentrated on sleep.

Gradually Kathryn realized she was warm.  Semi conscious she wondered where she was; it felt safe and warm and she wasn’t inclined to question it.  The steady beat of his heart brought her awareness, Chakotay---mmmmm he made a wonderful pillow safe and warm.  She idly drew her fingers across his chest, forming small circles as she allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy that she belonged here in his arms.  Silently, she hoped the sun would never rise and she could stay here forever.  She shifted slightly, raising her head just a bit to see his face, so peaceful in sleep.  She touched his cheek, lightly tracing the place where the dimples would show when he smiled, god what those dimples could do to her.  Lightly running her fingers through his hair, she gently kissed his cheek.  She gazed at those lips; the ones she longed to kiss, she studied them, imagined them soft and moist against her own.
 
Chakotay had the sensation of being watched; he could feel someone’s eyes on him. He slowly opened his eyes, she was watching him, more precisely she was watching his mouth.  So intense was her gaze, she hadn’t noticed him looking at her.  He licked his lips and watched as her tongue unconsciously slipped out to moisten her own.
 
”Kathryn.”  He spoke softly, but she still jumped at the sound of his voice. “What are you doing?”

“Huh? -- oh nothing.”  Her face flushed as she quickly averted her eyes and lowered her head.
 
“Kathryn?”  He couldn’t disguise the chuckle in his voice.  He reached under her chin to make her look up. “What were you doing?”  He smiled, the dimples, she swallowed hard.
 
“Nothing----just looking at -you.”  Her eyes darted to his lips for just a second and he laughed.  ”Something funny-Commander?” She tried to hold his eyes, but he licked his lips again and she couldn’t resist looking.
 
“You're blushing, Captain.”  She tried to pull away but he held her firmly in place.  “Just what were you thinking while you were watching me?”
 
“Nothing.”  She jerked her head free and placed it back down on his chest. “Just go back to sleep.”
 
“Yes, Ma’am.”  She could feel his chest rumble with the chuckle.   He ran his hand up and down her back---surprised she didn’t fight this.
 
She listened to his heartbeat, was it faster or had she imagined it---or maybe it was her’s that was faster His hands were under the tank moving gently, steadily stroking her back.  This was dangerous she knew, but right now she didn't care; if felt so nice. Just to have someone touch her, to have HIM touch her--warm flesh against warm flesh---such a long time, a sigh escaped and she felt him hesitate.  When he didn’t move again, she rolled back and looked up at him; he was watching her.  Her hand caressed the side of his face, her thumb lightly traced over his lips.  She rose up and he met her half way, the intensity frightened her and she pulled back, the desire in his eyes drew her back to him.  He lowered her back gently to the ground without breaking the kiss, his hand coming around to rest on her hip.  One hand in his hair held him to her, the other began frantically tugging at his clothes, as the kiss deepened, growing more and more demanding.

“Kathryn.”  He raised up to question her; to be sure she wanted this.

“Please.”   She looked back at him, pleading eyes smoky with desire.  She pulled her tank over her head, never taking her eyes from his.  “Touch me, Chakotay. I need to feel your hands on my body.”  She snapped open the front clasp on her bra, letting it slid from her shoulders. “Please.”
 
He watched her, trying to grasp what was she was doing; why was this happening-------then -she was sliding her bra straps off her shoulders and why didn’t matter any more.  His eyes followed the movement, coming to rest on the creamy white of her breasts.  He reached out, cupping them, grasping a nipple between thumb and fore finger, she moaned into his mouth as it covered hers.   She pulled lose his shirt, fumbled with closure on his pants, he lowered his mouth sucking in the dark dimpled surface, she arched back, momentary losing her grip on his waistband.

“Godd.”  Escaped as a groan, again she tore at his clothes.  She struggled to free him from the confines of his trousers, in one tug he discarded her panties, running his fingers through her soft curls, eliciting a moan.    He gasped as her fingers closed around him, her thumb massaging him with the escaping fluid.  His mouth continued to pay homage to her breasts, his fingers gently explored her depths spreading her abundant moisture, causing her whole body to shudder under his touch.
 
“Aahhhh.”  Spreading her thighs wide, she bucked her hips.  “Godd, Chakotay --please-now.” She drew him up, capturing his lips and tugging at his shoulders to bring his body into contact with hers. Moving to position himself above her, he paused to gaze at her, she opened her eyes, reaching for him. “I need you.” It was a hoarse whisper, she clutched at him wrapping her legs around his waist.
 
He resisted the force of her legs and slowly played his length along her moist folds until she thrashed helplessly beneath him.  Clutching, gasping, she writhed under this exquisite torture, moaning, begging until unable to hold back, he entered her in one deep thrust.  She raked her nails across his back as she bucked up to meet him thrust for thrust.

“Oohhh-goooodddd.”  She gasped grinding her hips into him with every thrust. “Chaakoootaaay.”  It came out a garbled scream as her body stiffened, then convulsed around him.

His thrusts pounding her into the hard surface beneath them, her inner muscles clenching and releasing him, sent him careening over the edge, gasping out her name as he spasmed deep within her.  He rolled to his side taking her with him, holding her close and pulling the blankets around them, as they regained their breath.
 
“Kathryn.”  Her head was tucked under his chin, her face buried in his chest.  He stroked her back, unwilling to let this end.  “Kathryn.”
 
“Shhh.”  She raised her head, kissing him softly, before resting against him again. “Not now---please.”

He held her and watched the stars, trying to sort out what was happening.  He felt her relax, breathing growing slow and even; she was sleeping.  He kissed her head and prayed the sun wouldn’t bring another turn around.  Eventually, he drifted off to sleep.
 
It was some time later when he awoke to the most delicious sensations.  Fingers lightly stroking, warm breath, soft moist kisses caressing his body.   His mind was clouded in sleep while his body was awake and aroused.  Her hair trailed behind the path her lips and tongue blazed as she worked down his body.  Her fingers fondled him as her tongue reached out to taste him, lapping at the small drops of moisture escaping.
 
She felt him shift, heard his breathing change as she licked at the sweet salty fluid.  Her hands gently stroked him as her mouth sought to explore him.   He groaned as she nipped the soft inside of his thigh, running her tongue along the tender flesh.   Warm moist lips slid over him as she took him deep into her mouth, her tongue dancing teasing tasting, he moaned, his body moving against her.  Her fingers replaced her mouth, she worked her way up his body, stopping to suckle a stiff nipple before claiming his mouth and sharing the salty taste with him.
 
Kathryn moved over him, but he rolled her back.   She wouldn’t rush him this time, spirits only knew if she would ever allow him to touch her again. He broke the kiss moving back just to look at her.  She opened her eyes, watched him study her, devour her with his eyes.   She felt herself flush, his scrutiny making her uncomfortable, she wanted to cover up, roll away from him; he stopped her.
 
“Don’t.” He reached out to hold her in place. “Please.”  He brought his eyes to hers and she settled back down.
 
It was cold, but she didn’t notice, her body radiated heat and he hadn’t even touched her; except for his eyes.  Slowly, gently, he ran his fingers over her body, touching, caressing every inch of her.  He bent brushing a light kiss across her lips, his hands on the side of her face; he kissed her eyes, her nose, face, her neck.  Leisurely, drawing his hand down to her shoulders, caressing, stroking, slipping down to fondle her breasts, following his hand with moist open kisses.  His mouth discovering the tight-pebbled nipple, as his lips closed around it, she gasped and arched, reaching out for him.
 
“No.”  As he spoke, he moved her hands back to her sides, his teeth gently grazing her breast.  He held her hands down, his mouth devouring her breast.  She arched gasping, moaning as his lips and tongue, explored each breast, licking, nipping, suckling her rock hard nipples.  He released her hands, moving his own down her stomach, her hips-- she raised her hips straining toward him, his fingers stroked the soft inner surface of her thighs.  He licked a path down her stomach, feeling the muscles ripple beneath the surface as she strained to increase the contact.  His fingers lightly brushed through her auburn curls, she sucked in her breath, tangling her fingers in his hair.
 
“Ohh godd.”  Her head tossed, her body strained.   “Please.”  It was a hoarse whisper, as he moved to kneel between her open legs.  He leaned forward, his hands cupping her breasts, fingers squeezing her nipples, his mouth covering hers.

“Kathryn.”  It was a whisper, his mouth close to her ear.  He sat back, resting on his heals, watching.  She opened her eyes, meeting his. Her chest heaved, as his hands fondled and caressed her breasts, one moving slowly down her stomach.
 
”Ahhhhh.”  She arched, as his fingers move deep within the soft wet folds, spreading, stroking.  “Ohh --- goddd.”  He lowered his mouth, lapping at her sweet nectar. Ohhh --Chaaakoooo goddd.”  She writhed beneath him, crying out, begging. “Goddd Pleeeeasse.”  His fingers entered her and she bucked against them.  He clamped his lips around her aching bundle of nerves, sucking, tongue stroking.   He felt her stiffen, screaming as her body convulsed around him.  “Chaaakoooottaay.”
 
As  her body quieted, Chakotay eased his hold, but didn’t change position, instead he pressed her thighs wide, lightly running his tongue along her inner lips.   He lapped her juices in gentle swirling motions over her too sensitive flesh, until her protest subsided and he felt her building again.    As her movements, again became frantic, he replaced his tongue with fingers and moved to cover her.   She clutched at him, wrapping her legs and pulling his mouth to hers.   He entered her forcefully, she bucked up to meet him, matching the pace he set thrust for thrust, her nails dug into his back as she once again spiraled out of control, calling out his name.  Her body thrashed, her teeth closed painfully into his shoulder as her muscles clenched and unclenched, grabbing her hips he slammed into her, spilling himself deep within her convulsing body.
 
Chakotay collapsed, crushing her once again into the hard surface.  Finally, realizing his full weight was on her, he raised himself up. He looked down, she was still, her eye closed, and only her ragged breathing told him she was alive.  He chuckled at the thought; her eyes flew open.

“What?”  She knitted her eyebrows, as she studied his expression.
 
“Just watching you breath, making sure I didn't kill you.” He laughed and rolled them to their sides.
 
”I can think of worse ways to go.”  She snuggled in close to his chest.
 
“Kathryn.”  He drew the blankets around them.
 
“Please---there will be time enough to think when the sun comes up.”  She put her head down.  “Right now, just hold me, please.”   She didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, if ever they would share this again. She wanted to hold on before reality intruded.
 
It was unlike Kathryn, putting off the inevitable, but then every thing that happened here, since they made camp was unlike the Kathryn he was accustom to.   He wondered briefly just what had happened here, he felt he had finally made love with the woman he loved beyond all reason; he wondered what she thought.  He tried not to think; time enough when the sun comes up she had said.  He held her close and drifted off to sleep.
 
Chakotay became aware of the bright light first, felt the warmth on his face, then the warm body next to him.  Slowly he became conscious; slowly he remembered the previous night---Kathryn.  She slept curled up to his chest, her face hidden half resting against his chest, half hidden by her own hair.  One hand pressed against him the other hung over his side, their legs tangled together, her warm breath tingled against his body, she was wrapped in his arms and he didn’t move fearing he would break the spell.  She stirred and he held his breath.
 
“Chakotay?”  She didn’t move away, even untangle their legs, he breathed again.
 
“Good morning.”

“Morning.”  She picked her head up to see his face, the look on her face was thoughtful but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
 
 Neither spoke as, they studied one another, neither sure where they were headed from here.  Their thoughts were interrupted by the comm. signal.
 
”Delta flyer to Janeway.”  It was staticy and garbled, she searched for her comm. badge.  “Delta flyer to Janeway”
 
“Janeway here, delta flyer, good to hear you.”  She sat up, holding her tank and comm. badge.
 
“Yes, Ma’am.  We’re coming in to pick you up, can’t transport through this atmospheric disturbance.”
 
“Acknowledged, Tom ---What’s your ETA?”

“We will be landing just south of your location in 15 minutes”

“Acknowledged, Janeway out.”  She ended the transmission.
 
“Kathryn.”  She was sitting up next to him, her back exposed in the warm sunlight. He lightly touched her.  “My god—you’re bruised.”
 
”So I noticed.”  She pulled the tank over her head, covering her discolored back.  ”Not exactly a feather bed.”  She reached for her panties, but they were beyond redemption.
 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…..”
 
“Much..”  She turned and smiled.  “Rational thought was not high on the list last night.”  She touched the puncture marks on his shoulder.  ”Seems you didn’t come through unscathed either.”  They studied each other, both wondering what the other was thinking; neither asked.  “Well, better get ready.”  She went to retrieve her still damp and very cold pants.
 
”Ye---yea.”  He resisted the urge to say yes ma’am, as he watched her grimace when the ice-cold material cover her.
 
They dressed and packed up the blankets, silently heading toward where the flyer would land.
 
"Chakotay.”  She looked at him, then quickly back down at the tricky path they were following.  “We’ll talk---once were settled.”
 
“Sure.”
 
They arrived at the landing sight just after the flyer; Tom came out to greet them.  Lieutenant Carey and Ensign Jenkins loaded their gear into the flyer.
 
“Good morning, you don’t look any the worse for wear.”  Tom smirked.  “A little rough around the edges, but not bad for..”
 
“If you’d like to keep those pips, you’d better be careful.”  The Captain shot him a look, that told him she was not in the mood for his humor.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He gave the Commander a wary look before turning and following the Captain back to the shuttle.

Everyone secured in the shuttle they lifted off for Voyager.  The Commander sat in the copilot seat, the Captain, behind him at tactical.   As they traveled, Chakotay and Tom discussed the mission.  They had retrieved some samples, but not found the abundance they had expected, in fact Chakotay expressed doubts about what they did find.  The grade of the ore did not appear to be one worth refining, the vegetation was scarce and not appealing and basically the planet although marginally M class was little more than a large rock.

“So basically the mission was not what you would consider a success.” Tom had surmised as much upon seeing them.
 
“Well, we didn’t get what we went after, but I don’t think it was a total loss.”  Chakotay avoided looking at anyone.
 
Tom wondered what that meant, maybe just that they hadn’t killed one another.  He strongly suspected that was the main reason for this mission, to give them some time and space to perhaps clear the air.  The command team had not exactly been compatible for the last few months and everyone was surprised when the Commander suggested they do this together and even more surprised when she agreed.  Tom didn’t see where that had been successful either, they didn’t appear to be on any better terms when he picked them up, but who was he to judge.  The rest of the trip was pretty quiet.
 
“Delta flyer to Voyager.”  Tom hailed as they approached the ship.

“Voyager here, you are cleared to land in shuttle bay two.”  Harry responded.
 
“Acknowledged, two minutes, Harry.”
 
“Welcome home. Voyager out.”
 
The shuttle landed without incident or fanfare.   The Captain lagged behind directing the distribution of the various samples, Chakotay and Tom exited the shuttle bay.  Just outside the door they met Jenny Delaney and Carrey Newtenson.
 
“Ladies.”  Tom gave a mock bow.
 
“Hi, back in time I see.”  Jenny patted Tom’s shoulder.  “Too bad we are gonna stomp on you guys.”
 
“Please, Delaney, the day you and Harry can beat B’Elanna and I, at pool is the day I’ll eat that shuttle.”

“Careful Tom, there are worst things than Neelix’s cooking.”
 
“What makes you two sure it’s down to you guys.  Carrey and I are still in this.” Chakotay injected.

“You gonna be up to playing?”  Carrey placed a hand on his arm, he didn’t look like he wanted to play to her.
 
“Of course, we can’t let them just walk away with this.”
 
“Oh good, you’re still here.”  The Captain exited the shuttle bay and stopped.  “O,h hello.”  She smiled as she looked over the scene.
 
“Commander, I’m going to change, I’ll see you in my ready room at 11:00.”
 
“Yes, Captain.”  He had expected to talk to her in other surroundings; the ready room was not a place for personal discussions.  As she walked away, he turned his attention to Carrey.  “I’ll see you later?”
 
“Yea, I’ll be there.  Come on Jenny or we’ll be late.” They hurried off to their duty posts, leaving Chakotay totally at Tom’s mercy.
 
“What’s with you two?”
 
“Who?”

“You and Carrey, what do you mean who?”  Tom looked at him like he was nuts and Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief.
 
“Oh, nothing---why?”
 
“She’s kinda cute and you’ve spent some time with her, just wondering.” Tom thought it might explain the strain between the commanding officers.

“Yes, she is, but it isn’t what you’re thinking, we’re just partners in the tournament.”
 
“Why do I get the feeling she thinks differently?”

“I wouldn’t know, does she?”
 
“I think so---so does B’E.”

“Well, I better have a talk with her then, sorry she’s cute and very nice, but not my type.  Chakotay shook his head and headed for the lift, Tom followed.
 
“What?  Not independent, stubborn, hard headed and---bitchy enough for you?”
 
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about-- Lieutenant---but if I did, I would think you had better avoid that description in the future.”

“Yes, Sir.”  Tom was only joking, but he struck a nerve and even Tom knew when to back off.
 
 At precisely 1100 hours Chakotay rang the chime.
 
“Come.”  She was seated behind her desk, showered, a clean crisp uniform and the Captain firmly in place.
 
“Captain.”  He stood before her desk.

“Have a seat, Commander.”  She indicated the chair.  “Can I get you something?”  She rose to get her coffee.

“No, thank you.” He sat down, this was not a good sign, and this was not the same woman he woke up with, in his arms.
 
“We weren’t too successful in finding necessary supplies---I have B’Elanna’s analysis of the ore, have you seen it?”  She sat behind the desk.
 
“Yes and the vegetation is useless too.”  He locked his eyes with hers, she had to be in there somewhere.
 
“OK, so we agree that part of the mission was unsuccessful, let’s see what we can salvage.” She sipped her coffee; he said nothing.  “Chakotay, you are as aware as I am, and unfortunately most of the crew, our relationship has been ----less than cordial lately.”
 
“We’ve had some disagreements. I hardly think we throw away six years of friendship and a very compatible working relationship over a few arguments.”
 
“I agree, and I know that a good deal of the problem lies with me.  I want to let you know I intend to rectify that problem.”

”Kathryn….”  He held her eyes. “This is not the discussion I expected to have this morning and I know this isn’t the place, but…”
 
“You’re right-it isn’t.”  Her look softened.  “Chakotay, I’m sorry.”
 
“Sorry?”

“Yes, I’ve complicated your life again, made a difficult situation even more so and I’m sorry.”
 
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to clarify this---I don’t understand what you’re sorry about.”
 
“Chakotay, I don’t set out to hurt you, yet, somehow I always do…..”
 
“Kathryn----Sorry?”  He leaned across the desk.  “Is that regret or an apology?”  He watched her, emotions flashed across her face too fast to identify.  With a painful look she stood and crossed to the view port. “Kathryn?”
 
“Chakotay, I---it's an apology, I can’t honestly say I regret what we did, however I must apologize for complicating your life once again.”
 
“Kathryn, I’m not sure I understand yet.”  He stood behind her.
 
“This is not the place to do this.”  She didn’t face him.
 
“Alright, later than.  Have dinner with me?”

“I don’t think so, I have things to do and -you already have plans, I believe.”
 
“Damn -- the tournament, alright afterwards?”

“It might be late.”

“Damn it, Kathryn you’re doing it again.”
 
“Yes, I suppose I am, all right when your finished hail me, if it’s not too late, we’ll talk.  OK?”
 
“OK.”
 
Chakotay sat in Sandrine’s, Carrey was shooting against Harry and B’Elanna sent Tom to the bar for drinks.
 
“OK, what’s going on?”  She looked directly in his eyes as if she could read his thoughts.
 
“What do ya mean?”

“Chak, come on. Tom said you almost bit his head off; Carrey isn’t your type?  Big surprise.  What is going on?”
 
“Honestly, I don't know.  I thought….”  He shook his head.  “I don’t know”
 
“What happened down there?”
 
“B’Ella..”  He knew he could trust her.  “B’Ella, I though this was it, but today, she backed off again.”
 
“Backed off what---what happened down there?”
 
“We fought- -"   He laughed.  “What else is new---but then --- god she got wet and it was cold, we shared blankets, body heat, you know the drill.  Then, god--  everything I wanted was in my arms.”
 
“Now she blames you, feels guilty?”
 
“No—that’s part of what’s so strange about it, she started it---she doesn’t deny it, even came out and said she doesn’t regret it, but she’s sorry.  I don’t understand.”
 
“Chak, straight up, what’s with you and Carrey?”

“Nothing, we play pool, have a drink from time to time, nothing else, honestly.”
 
“I think you better explain that to the Captain.”

“You think she thinks..?”
 
“I did, so did Tom and we’ve been around you guys, she just watched from a distance.”
 
“Hey, partner.  I’m afraid we lost.   B’Elanna you guys are up.”  She switched places with B’Elanna.  “Are you OK?”
 
“Yea, fine”
 
“No, you’re not, what’s wrong?”
 
“I’m just a little preoccupied, sorry.”

“Well, I lost the match so I’m sorry too---guess we’re even.”  She watched him a few minutes longer.  “Hey what ever it is, maybe you should talk about it.”
 
“Thanks, but I don’t..”

“Oh, not me, I’m not the best listener----but, I hear the Captain is real good at that---Maybe you should go talk to her.”   He looked up at her and she smiled.  “Come on Chakotay you don’t think it’s a secret do you?”

“That bad huh?”
 
“Yea, that bad.  Go on get out of here.”
 
“I think I will---good night.”

He took the lift to deck three, the computer said she was in her quarters and she wasn’t sleeping.  He stood outside her door.
 
“Chakotay to Janeway”
 
“Yes, Commander.”
 
“Captain, if you’re free, I’d like to speak with you.”
 
“Fine Commander, I’m in my quarters.”   She no sooner finished speaking when the door chimed.  “Come?”
 
“Sorry, I was just outside the door.”

So I see, come in.”  She walked to the replicator.  “Drink? I’m having wine.”
 
“Yes, that’s fine.”  He watched her, she was wearing a simple blue dress, he liked her out of uniform.  “Thanks.”  He took the drink, as she sat across from him in the chair.
 
“OK, so are you here to clear the air?”

“Yea, I guess I am.  I’m here to talk about us.”
 
“Us?  I don’t..”
 
“Yes, Look I don’t know what you think happened last night.” She started to speak he stopped her. “Please, let me finish.  You can tell me, if you want to, I would love to know, but first let me tell you.” He leaned closer. “Kathryn, last night I was privileged to make love with the one woman in the entire universe I want to share my life with.  I don’t regret it, I won’t apologize for it and I sincerely hope she allows this to be a new beginning and not an end.   I love you Kathryn and that’s never gonna change, I just thought you should know.”
 
“I thought---I thought that you..”  She looked away; he turned her face back to him.
 
“What?”

“I thought, I pushed you too far.  I thought ..…” She got up and crossed over to him. “I was afraid I’d lost you---and last night, I thought it was all I’d ever have.  I love you. Chakotay.”
 
Chakotay stood and took her in his arms, they stood a long time just holding on.   Eventually they moved to sit on the couch, they talked, for the first time, in so very long, they talked honestly and openly.  So many things depended on the decisions they made, not only their future, but that of the ship and crew.  They would move forward carefully, together.  When the lights came up to signify Voyager's morning, a new day had truly dawned.  He was once again conscious of the woman in his arms, but no longer afraid he would break the spell. Not that much would change, they would still fight, maybe even worst than before, but it wouldn’t tear them apart, he wouldn’t let it.  They would bring the ship home together; the command structure was still firmly in place, as was their friendship.  It would take work and compromise, it would be difficult and wonderful, He had his best friend back, his Captain and the woman he loved---It was a good morning.  He kissed her hair and snuggled deeper into the covers.
 

      The End.

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