Rated NC17  For sex and violence. This story contains a significant amount of rather graphic violence involving a major character.
 

The senior staff sat gathered around the table in the briefing room awaiting the arrival of the command team.  Voyager was in orbit around an M class known as Madacy and the Captain and First Officer had spent the morning on the surface negotiating with their Prime Minister.  As had become normal for life on Voyager these days, they were in need of spare parts, dilithium and food supplies.  Madacy showed promise of not only supplying these much needed items but raised hopes for some long over due relaxation in the form of shore leave, too.  When the Captain and the Commander joined the rest of the staff in the briefing room, they were smiling; everyone relaxed and breathed a bit easier.

“Good afternoon.”  The Captain received nods from her staff, as she took her place at the head of the table, passing out padds as she went.  “As you know I have been speaking with Prime Minister Bernini.  Although the Madacians are technologically advanced and warp capable, they prefer to forego many of the advances we take for granted in favor of a more natural lifestyle.  There are places on the planet that would be considered primitive and they are there by design.  We are free to use our transporters and comm badges within the city limits but they prefer we utilize their transportation and communications systems elsewhere.  They have most of the supplies we seek readily available and are more than willing to negotiate with us.  Department heads should check over their supplies and submit a completed list to Mr. Tuvok, who will be working closely with Commander Chakotay and myself during the remainder of the negotiations.  Shore leave will be made available to most of the crew; you can coordinate your rotations with the Commander.  Each of you has a padd containing the protocols required of visitors or ‘off worlders’ as they call us; nothing too difficult or out of the ordinary, that we've seen.  See that everyone is thoroughly briefed before departing the ship.”

“Captain, how long will we be staying?” B’Elanna had a lot of work to do, but some shore leave was sounding pretty good, too.

“I was hoping to conclude this quickly, but it seems the Madacians have certain standards which have to be met before our trade can be concluded.  We will be observed, not only while we are on the surface, but we can expect the ship to be intermittently scanned as well.  The ‘keepers of justness’  …” She smiled at their smirks.  “or the ‘morality police’ as the prime minister called them, will have to ensure our worthiness and that could take up to two weeks.”

“Anything we should be worried about?”  Tom smirked.

“According to the Prime Minister, they will take into account what is proper behavior in our culture while observing the ship.  So, if we go about our normal lives on board Voyager and behave as reasonable adults on the surface we should be fine.”

“Let’s you out, Flyboy.”  B’Elanna smacked his shoulder and everyone joined in the laughter.

"Now, if there are no more questions, let’s get on this.” The Captain stood.  “I would like to conclude our business and get in a little shore leave myself.”

“Captain?”  Chakotay rose from his chair and leaned toward her.

“Yes, Commander?”  She rolled her eyes when he placed his hand on her forehead.

“Are you feeling all right?”

“I was going to ask you to join me on that leave, Commander, but if you’re afraid of catching something…”

“I’ll take my chances.”  They smiled at each other.

“Yes, well.” The Captain suddenly looked around at the attentive faces of her senior staff.  “Dismissed.” She pushed Chakotay’s hand off her forehead with a laugh.  “That goes for you too. Mister.”

 The first week the Captain spent in various meeting with the Prime Minister, before finally concluding their business.  After that the only thing left was approval of the keepers.  The crew was enjoying shore leave but all the Captain wanted was a relaxing evening at home.

“Chakotay to Janeway.”

“Janeway here.”  She glanced toward her filling bathtub and sighed.

“I am told there is a wonderful restaurant in the city and I was wondering if you would join me for dinner?”

“I was really looking forward to staying home tonight.”

“I see, well, maybe another time.”  His disappointment was evident in his voice.

“Why don’t..” She glanced at the tub and smiled.  “Would you care to join me and stay in for dinner tonight?  Maybe we could try that restaurant tomorrow night.”

“If you’re sure you wouldn’t rather spend the night soaking in that tub of yours.”

“You are getting too good at this, Chakotay. Think you could hold that dinner off for an hour?"

“OK, Kathryn, have your bath.  I bring dinner in an hour.  Chakotay out.”

Kathryn laughed as she prepared for her bath.  He really was getting too good at second guessing her.  Their relationship had become so comfortable, and she depended on him so; she didn’t know what she would ever do with out him.  Yet, she still hadn’t been able to take that last step and, bless him, he never pushed her.  Maybe he should.  Kathryn relaxed in the tub, enjoying her soak, and getting out with barely enough time to dress before the chime sounded.

“Come in, Chakotay.”

“Am I late?”  He glanced around the bundles of food he carried.  “You’re dressed so I must be.”

“Very funny.  Here, let me help you.”  Kathryn took one of the bundles and a bottle of wine that was trapped under his arm.  “What is all this anyway?”

“Dinner.”  He placed the rest of his packages on the table.

“For an army?”  Kathryn peeked into one of the containers.

“No, just us.  Now go over there and stay out of my way while I get this together.”  He gave her a light push toward the couch.  “Make yourself useful and pour us some wine.”

Chakotay set the table distributing several sealed containers around, he opened two and mixed the contents together before sealing the large one back up.  After punching something into her replicator, Chakotay joined Kathryn on the couch.  Sitting beside her, he took the glass of wine she offered.

“Thank you.  We’ll just relax, enjoy this glass of wine and by then everything should be ready.”

Chakotay was sitting little closer to her lately then he ever had before and she was finding that it made her less uncomfortable then it used to.  At least lately, any discomfort she felt was not entirely unpleasant.  It had been a long seven years and their recent contact with Starfleet had actually lightened her burden.  In a private communiqué from Admiral Paris, she had actually been told point blank that the admiralty approved of her relaxed fraternization policy.  The news of several married crewmen, his son and daughter-in-law included was welcome. They actually hoped to see more couples forming, children born and wished as normal a life as possible for the crew of Voyager.  On a personal note Owen had added that he thought perhaps Kathryn was overlooking her own happiness, which he perceived to be right under he nose.  He let her know that should she find a suitable match among her crew, no one at Fleet would object.  Kathryn often wondered if Chakotay had received a similar letter, but she didn’t ask.

“A penny for them.”

“Huh?”  Kathryn hadn’t realized she was daydreaming.  She looked up into those soft brown eyes, only inches from her own and she could feel the color rise in her cheeks.  “I was umm..”

“A million kilometers away?”  He chuckled.

“No.”  She smiled.  “Not at all.”  She touched her fingers to his cheek, as she held his gaze.  “I was right here.”

Their eyes held for a long minute.  Kathryn glanced down at his lips and back to his eyes; He smiled and slowly lowered his mouth toward hers.

“Bridge to Janeway.”  At the sound of the comm, she sighed and moved away.

“Janeway here.”

“Captain, I’m sorry to bother you, but Ensign Wildman is hailing and she insists she must speak directly to you.”

“Put her through to my console.  Thank you, Lieutenant. Janeway out.” Kathryn shared a worried look with Chakotay, then crossed to her console and punched the control.  “Ensign?”  The screen lit up to reveal a woman terrified and barely able to contain her tears.  “Sam, what’s wrong?”

“Captain, it’s Naomi.” Sam bit her lip unable to continue.

“Sam, is she hurt?”

“Not yet, but…”  She took a deep breath.  “Apparently, she has broken some local law and they are holding her for punishment."

“What law?  Where is she being held?”  Kathryn could see the woman was in no shape to answer questions like this.  “Ensign, send the coordinates for your location.  I'm on my way.”

“Thank you, Captain.”  The relief on the younger woman’s face was evident.

“Janeway to the bridge.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Get the coordinates on Ensigns Wildman’s location and send them to transporter room one.”  She crossed toward her bedroom as she spoke, glancing at Chakotay who was already on his way to the door.  “The Commander and I will be transporting to her location in a few minutes.”

“Aye, Captain. Bridge out.”

“I’ll put on a uniform, this sounds official.”  Kathryn called as she disappeared into her room.

“OK, I’ll be right back.”  Chakotay was already out the door,

When they arrived they were ushered into a room where Sam tried to explain the circumstances.  Apparently, Naomi and Sam were walking through one of the local parks; it had been a crisp but beautiful day.  Naomi discovered a lovely plant that flowered in spite of the cold weather and she picked a blossom for her mother. Later they were approached by several security personnel and informed that Naomi had broken the law by picking the flower and would have to be punished according to Madacian law.  They had taken Naomi into custody and separated them.  As Samantha understood it, the punishment for such an act was public whipping.  Naomi had already admitted picking the flower so there was nothing left but the formalities and the administration of the punishment.  The Captain demanded to see the Prime Minister and they waited while the local officials processed her request.

“Captain, she must be so frightened.”  Sam was completely over wrought with worry about Naomi.

“Sam, she’s a tough kid; she’ll be all right.”  Chakotay tried to comfort her.

“Samantha, as soon as I am able to speak to the Prime Minister I’m sure this will all be worked out.  The Captain paced the small room.

“Captain Janeway.”  The door opened and one of the security guards faced them.

“Yes?”

“This way; the Prime Minister will see you.”  She hesitated a moment.  “You may all be present if you wish.”

“Thank you.”

As they followed the guard, she informed them that the Prime Minister had been apprised of the situation and was preparing options for their review.  Kathryn relaxed just a little; this sounded more like the reasonable man she had dealt with.

“Captain, Commander and Ensign Wildman.”  The Prime Minister greeted them.  “Please be seated.  I have taken the liberty of having Miss Wildman join us. You and she can sit on the couch over there.”  He indicated that Sam should seat herself and Naomi next to the far wall.

Naomi was led through the far door and immediately ran into her mother’s arms.  Sam sat on the couch and tired to soothe her.

“Prime Minister, I apologize and certainly we are willing to compensate for any damage our young crewmen may have inadvertently caused…”

“Captain, I’m afraid it isn’t that simple.”  He indicated they should sit in the chairs across from him.  “We have very strict laws and we have very defined punishments which we must apply consistently to our people and off worlder’s alike.  The punishment for the crime which the young lady has already admitted to is ten lashes of the whip administered to the naked flesh in a public setting.”

“Certainly we can.. “  Kathryn had noticeably paled at his words and struggled to find a suitable response.

“No, Captain, there is no other way.  The number of stripes is low in this case because she is an off worlder and not a fully matured adult, but it must be carried out.  I’m sorry we have come to this, but adherence to out laws should prevent any adverse effects on our prior negotiations.”

“She is only a child!”  Kathryn tried to compose herself.  “We were not informed of this restriction and certainly not informed of your preference for corporal punishment.”

“I regret that, Captain, but ignorance is not an acceptable excuse.”

“I would never have allowed a child on the surface had I been informed.”

“Captain, you keep referring to Miss Wildman as a child but here on Madacy anyone who has accomplished twelve rotations is considered responsible for their own actions.”

“Naomi is only six.”  Kathryn saw a glimmer of hope in his face.  “I can show you the ships logs recording her birth.”

“I see.  My people were under the impression she was beyond twelve rotations; she is a big girl.  This makes a difference.”  He looked up and studied the Captain’s face; she tried not to show any emotion.

“What kind of difference?”  Chakotay spoke for the first time.

“According to our laws, if a child commits an offense and it is the first such offense, the responsible adult may elect to take the punishment in the child’s place.”  He held up his hand to prevent their responses.  “However, the assigned punishment will be doubled.”

“I’ll do it.”  Samantha spoke up from behind them.

“No, mommy, no.”  Naomi was crying, clinging to her mother.

The Captain shook her head ever so slightly; her eyes connected with those of her First Officer.  Chakotay felt his stomach knot; he knew immediately what she was planning.

“Prime Minister, as Captain of Voyager, I am responsible for all the members of my crew.  I will take the punishment in Naomi’s place.”

“No!”  Samantha jumped up and cross to where they were seated.  “No Captain.  I’m her mother.  I will do it.”

“Samantha..”

“Mommy, no please no.”  Naomi tearfully to her mother's side.”

“No, Captain, she is MY child.”

“Ensign Wildman.”  The Captain stood and turned to face her.  “Take you daughter and return to the couch and do not interfere with these proceedings again.”

The two women stood toe to toe, a shared look of determination crossed between them.

“That’s an order, Ensign.”

“Aye, Captain.”  Samantha reluctantly backed away.

Kathryn saw the pleading look in Chakotay’s eyes as she turned her attention back to the Prime Minister.

“Is that acceptable?”

“Before I accept your offer, I must inform you of proper procedure.”  He looked over the padd he held.  “If you accept her punishment, you will be required to be held in our custody until the sentence is carried out.  This should only require an over night stay since we believe in swift punishment.  The punishment is public, which in the case of off worlders would mean at least two designated witnesses from your ship, ten Madacian ‘professional’ witnesses and in the case of a child, the child must be present.  You will be required to stay 24 hours afterwards in our custody before returning to your ship.  One designated person, of your own choosing, will be allowed a short period of time with you afterwards and will be given ointment and medication with which to treat you.  Such medications will require prior approval by your ship’s physician.  These things are prescribed by law; we have little flexibility in our system.”

“Prime Minister, with all due respect, your way would be considered barbaric in our society.”  Kathryn took a deep breath.  “We are guests on your planet and as such are willing to respect your laws and customs, but I must ask for a small consideration in return.  In our society these practices have long been abolished as inhumane and to force one so young as Naomi to wittiness practices considered barbaric in the society she must live in, would cause irreparable psychological damage to the child.  Surely it would not be too much to ask that your government show this small amount of respect for our customs and spare the child this type of permanent damage.  Being held in your custody and witness to these proceedings will be difficult enough for the child to overcome.”

“Captain, your request is unusual, but the same could be said for your situation.  Our laws and prescribed punishment work quite effectively as a deterrent in our society.  Rarely is there a second offense, especially by a child who has witnessed their caregiver receive punishment in their stead.  Since your journey will never bring you back to our world, I will consider it.  I will take it up with council officials now and return to you with an answer shortly.  In my absence, you should decide on witnesses and the designated caregiver.”  The Prime Minister stood and gave the customary bow before leaving the room.

“Kathryn.”  As soon as the door closed Chakotay leaned closer taking Kathryn’s hand.

“Chakotay, don’t.”  Kathryn glared at him, but allowed him to see the fear in her eyes.  “I need your strength.”  She whispered as she gripped his hand.

“You can’t do this.”  He whispered back. “I can’t let you.”

“What else can I do?”  Kathryn nodded toward the couch.  “I can’t allow this to happen to Naomi and certainly the trauma to the child would be almost as great if it were to happen to her mother.”

“We could transport out of here.”  Chakotay knew she would never do that.  Kathryn would never run from what she saw as her responsibilities.

“Chakotay.”  Her eyes told him she badly wanted to do just that, but she never would.  “Will you be the designated caregiver?  I know that means you must also be a witness but I wouldn’t want anyone else touching me.”

“Yes.”  He spoke quietly; he knew her decision was irreversible.  “Who should be the other witness, Tuvok?”

“No.  We need him aboard Voyager.”  She thought for a moment.  “B’Elanna.”

“All right.” Chakotay held her eyes; she held tightly to his hand.

The opening of the door startled everyone.  Naomi let out a frightened cry.

“Captain, the council has taken your offer under consideration.  Due to the young age of the child in question and the fact that our staff’s miscalculation of her age has already cause her trauma, the council has agreed to allow the child to remain on the ship and her mother to be witness in her stead.”  He advanced into the room.  “Are these terms acceptable to you?”

“Yes.”  Kathryn stood and faced him.  “Thank you, Prime Minister.”

“You will need to designate two other witnesses one of which will be your caregiver.  Have you considered this?”

“Yes, Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Torres with be my witnesses.  The Commander will be my caregiver.”

“Very well.”  He raised an eyebrow at her last statement but said nothing.  “The child and her mother may return to the ship, if I have your word the mother and witnesses will be here at 9 am.”

“They will be here.”

“I must inform you that any one attempting to interfere with this procedure will be killed.”

“No one will interfere.”

“Good, then you will be remanded into custody until punishment is carried out as described.”

“May I have a moment to speak with the Commander?  I wish to ensure all my people are safely recalled to the ship and everyone understands my position.”

“Certainly, Captain.  If you will allow us to process you first, the Commander will be allowed a short visit in your containment.”

“Thank you.  Chakotay, see Sam and Naomi get back to the ship and I will speak to you shortly.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Chakotay stood silently watching Kathryn follow the guards out the door.  As soon as it closed Samantha was beside him.

“Chakotay..”  She choked out through her tears.

“Samantha, I know.  Just take Naomi home.”  Chakotay escorted them back to the beam out point and returned to the confinement building.

“Commander.”  Chakotay was met at the entrance by a guard.  “This way please.”

He was taken to a small room to wait.  It was brightly lit, warm and comfortable.  Two chairs and a table were in the center; a pitcher of water and two glasses rested on it.  Toward one side was a small but comfortable looking couch.

“You may wait here. Your Captain will be here shortly.”

“Thank you.”

Chakotay walked to the window, it was dark on the other side; he could see nothing but the reflection of the door behind him.  It opened and Kathryn entered wearing a loose brown dress and carrying a bundle.

“Hi.” She crossed half way to him and held out the bundle.

“Hello.”  He swallowed hard trying to keep his voice level.

“It’s my uniform, you’re to take it back with you.  I won’t be needing it.”

“OK.”  He took the bundle and placed it on the table. “How…?”  He looked into her eyes and couldn’t resist taking her into his arms.

Kathryn leaned into him, allowing him to hold her in the protective shelter of his arms.

“How are Naomi and Sam?”

“OK for now.  I’ll know more when I get back.”

“Try to help them.  Naomi must be terrified.”

“Yes.” His voice was calm though his mind was in turmoil *"Naomi’s terrified?" He thought. "God I’m terrified. Spirits how must you be feeling"*

“The doctor has your instructions for tomorrow.  They have conferred with him on medication and he can tell you how best to help me.”

“It’s all very civilized for something so primitively barbaric.”

“Yes, they have carefully apprised me of the entire procedure.  What to expect, how each step is conducted, how I am expected to behave, how you are expected to behave.  I’m a bit surprised they haven’t given me a demonstration so I would know exactly what to expect when the leather tears the skin off my back.”  She could feel Chakotay’s silent gasp as he tightened his grip on her.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Say anything you need to say, Kathryn.” He kissed her hair as he ran his hands over her back, noting the brown dress was all she wore and finding her body was so tiny in his arms.

“Chakotay.”  Kathryn stepped back and looked up at him.  “Be sure everyone is recalled from the planet immediately.  I don’t want anyone getting hurt tomorrow.”  She saw him flinch at her choice of words but she continued. “If you speak to B’Elanna and she feels she can’t do this, I will understand.  You need some one here to help you with Sam and someone who can stay in control.”

“B’Elanna will be fine.”

“Good.”  She forced a smile.  “Now we only have another few minutes.  Hold me?”
Chakotay pulled her to him, holding fast until the door opened behind him.  He looked up and saw no one, but Kathryn stepped back.

“I have to go, they are waiting outside the door.”  She backed away holding his hands until the distance was too great.  “Good night.  See you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” It was all he could do not to grab her and order them beamed back to the ship.  He stared at the closed door for several minutes then picked up her uniform and walked out.

Chakotay, B’Elanna and Samantha silently entered the small courtyard.  Keeping Sam between them, they stood in the places the guard indicated to them.  There were about ten other people standing along side them in the ice-cold rain.  Chakotay studied their dreary surroundings. The other people were relaxed and chatting among themselves.  Obviously they were the ‘professional witnesses’ the Prime Minister had mentioned.  Diagonally across from where Chakotay stood was a platform covered by an awning, Chakotay assumed the planet officials would take their places there.  Directly across from their position was a large wooden- X shaped apparatus with restraints on top and bottom; a smaller one was pushed to the side.  The gasp at his side told him the exact moment Samantha realized its purpose; he put his arm around her shoulder.

The Prime minister and several officials filed out the side door and took their places on the platform.  The crowd silenced, as they all turned to face the center door.  Finally the door opened and Kathryn appeared with two guards at her side.  She was wearing a long black wrap around garment and no shoes.  She was not restrained in any manner and the guards on either side never touched her as the three of them took their appointed spot in front of the platform.  A man came forward and began to read the formal charges against one Naomi Wildman, an off world minor, and the punishment prescribed by law for that offense.  He went into great detail about the legal process and the statues that permitted the responsible adult, in this case one Captain Kathryn Janeway, to receive the punishment in the child’s place.  The rain began mixing with ice as the man droned on for what seemed like an eternity.  Chakotay would feel the cold even through the many layers of his starfleet uniform; he could only imagine what Kathryn felt as he watched the flimsy garment, now saturated with the rain, cling to her body.  Finally the man stopped speaking and the Prime Minister nodded.

Kathryn and her guards turned and faced the building walking together to the wooden apparatus.  With their backs to the observers, one guard reached in front of Kathryn, then each took a side of the black robe and removed it, leaving Kathryn standing naked in the freezing rain.

Chakotay could feel Samantha shaking; he gripped her shoulder hard, as much to keep himself in place as to steady her.  Kathryn’s feet were spread wide and shackled to the bottom of the X, her arms stretched high and wide, her wrists lashed securely to the top.

Chakotay held his breath as a third guard stepped from the doorway with a long leather whip coiled in his hand.  Kathryn was facing the wall and unable to see the activity behind her.  Chakotay wondered if that made the waiting better or worse.  The man walked to the platform, nodded then uncoiled his weapon for inspection. The Prime Minister nodded and the man took his place between the audience and Kathryn.  Everything was done slowly, silently and with unnerving precision; a procedure that could only serve to heighten the apprehension of the woman who waited, wet, cold and naked for the first blows to fall.

Samantha was openly crying; B’Elanna stood stiffly her right hand tightly fisted at her side, her left gripping the hand that held tightly to Sam’s shoulder.  Finally, the man's right hand came up, the swish of leather, the snap of the whip and the solid twatch that caused Kathryn’s head to snap back as a long red welt rose from shoulder to butt marking the first kiss of the leather on the pale skin.  Chakotay's stomach churned.

“One.” The official counter called out.

The man let a full thirty seconds pass before he raised the whip again laying a long lash from Kathryn’s left shoulder to her right hip.  Samantha sobbed turning to hide her face in Chakotay’s chest.

“Two.”

Thirty seconds passed between each measured stripe.  By number ten a crisscross pattern of welts covered Kathryn’s back, stray marks covered her butt and thighs, blood tricked from split skin in too many places.  Several times the long thinly braided tail of the whip had wrapped around her body striking the even more tender flesh of her breasts and stomach.  Kathryn had cried out for the first time with the third lash, but by number fifteen she hung almost lifelessly, her body convulsing on its own in protest with each strike.

Chakotay and B’Elanna stood completely supporting Samantha's weight between them. Chakotay could hear B'Elanna's growl, her own tears falling freely as she struggled to remain stationary.

"Nineteen"

The last thirty seconds were endless; Chakotay prayed for it to end.  He held his breath as slowly the lash was raised high above the man's head, cracking as it came down with a resounding thwart.  One last splatter of blood as the twisted leather tore open the already raw flesh of Kathryn's back.

"Twenty."

 Then the only sound was a faint hissing as Chakotay let out the breath he had been holding and the uncontrollable sobbing of the woman in his arms.  The man coiled his instrument walking back to present it once again for inspection by the Officials. Again they stood for an interminable time, the icy rain pelting down, as the weapon was inspected and once again a number of formalities observed.

The Prime Minister led the officials from the platform.  The other observers filed quietly out the gate. Chakotay's eyes never left the slight form hanging limply as the cold rain mixed with blood dripped to the ground.  The original two guards unfastened the shackles from her ankles, standing close beside her, supporting her weight on their shoulders as they each unlashed a wrist.  With Kathryn draped between them, her feet barely moving in step, they disappeared behind the center door.
 

"Take Sam back to the ship."  Chakotay shifted most of Sam's weight toward B'Elanna.
"I'll be up right after I see Kath..the Captain."  His eyes met B'Elanna's over Sam's head; she nodded.

"Let's go, Sam." B'Elanna gently led Samantha out the gate.

Chakotay stood in rain and waited for the center door to open again.  He knew he would be allowed to see Kathryn for a short time and then he would have to leave her in their custody until this time tomorrow.  The door pulled back and a woman motioned him to enter.

"Commander, this way." She turned and led him down a dimly lit hallway. Outside the last door she turned to face him with a questioning look.  "You are the designated person, are you not?  You know what is expected?"

"Yes."  He accepted the tray she held out to him.

"The ointment is warm and soothing; it will protect the broken skin and ease the pain.  Have her drink as much of this as you can. It contains a sedative."  She saw his concern. "Do not worry we have conferred with you doctor on the proper dosage.  It will allow her to rest until you may bring her home tomorrow."

"Thank you." Chakotay remembered the doctor telling him of this procedure and that the medication would not heal her but it would make her condition bearable until she could return to Voyager for treatment.

"You will have thirty minutes.  Try to administer the ointment to the lesser wounds of her chest and stomach first so that she may more comfortably lie down and allow you to treat the others."  She quietly opened the door allowing him to pass.

As Chakotay entered the room, he heard the door click and lock behind him. It was dimly lit but warm and quite comfortable by most 'jail cell' standards.  Kathryn lay half on her side a sheet drawn up over her shoulders.  Her face was contorted with pain her lower lip swollen and oozing blood where she must have bitten it to hold back her screams.

"Kathryn?"  Chakotay whispered as he knelt beside.

"Ummm."

"I have the ointment and some medication."  He placed one hand on the edge of the sheet.  "I need to remove this."

"OK." She spoke in a whisper, the few words forced.

Chakotay lowered the sheet to her waist, involuntarily cringing at the hot red stripes that crossed her breasts.  She was bruised and swollen; the skin of her left breast was split just above the nipple.  As gently as possible, he began to spread the ointment; Kathryn flinched at his touch, wincing as he spread the greasy substance over her tender flesh.

Kathryn couldn’t help but flinch at his touch, slowly the ointment soothed the pain of her wounds but it could do nothing for the pain in her heart.  As if the pain and humiliation of her punishment had not been enough, Chakotay was touching her, finally his hands were sliding over her breasts as she had so longed for, but it hurt. It was all so wrong and so unfair.  She opened her tear-stung eyes and watched his face.  He was intent on his work, moving as slowly and gently as he could, pain registering on his face with each involuntary wince she made.  Kathryn slowly raised her arm, her fingers lightly brushing away the tears that slipped from his eyes.

"I'm sorry."  He whispered as his eyes met hers.

Kathryn smiled and nodded, closing her eyes and sucking in her breath as he lowered the sheet and continued. When he was certain he had covered all the marks on the front of her body he pulled the sheet back over her.

"Kathryn, I want you to try to sit up and drink this."  He gently gripped her arm.  "Let me help you."

Her eyes grew wide with the pain; she bit down hard on her already swollen lower lip as he eased her into an upright position. The sheet fell, settling around her hips; neither made a move to retrieve it.

"Here, drink this.  The doctor has approved the medication in it.  You'll rest better."

Kathryn took the drink with shaky hands, sipping slowly until she finished the glass.

"We don't have much time, Kathryn." Chakotay placed the glass on the floor. "Let me help you lie down, so I can do your back."

Kathryn took a deep breath and nodded, again biting into her lip as he helped her maneuver into position.  Chakotay bit his own lip to keep from gasping at the sight of the raw open flesh on Kathryn's back.  His vision blurred by his own tears, he began at her shoulders and slowly worked his way down. Several times Kathryn had been unable to remain quiet, groaning softly into the pillow.  Nothing would totally alleviate her pain until the doctor could regenerate the torn tissue but after a while the combination of the ointment and the medication made it more bearable.

Chakotay's time was almost gone; he didn't know how he would find the strength to leave her here, but he knew he had to.  The drug was obviously taking effect; Kathryn was drifting off to sleep. He only hoped she would sleep until he could return for her.  Chakotay heard the door open behind him; it was time to go.  He covered her gently with the sheet and kissed her hair softly.

"Sleep, Kathryn.  I'll be back for you in the morning." When she didn't respond he wasn't sure if she lacked the strength or was sleeping.  With one more gentle touch, he rose and exited the room.

Chakotay returned to Voyager and went immediately to his quarters.  A quick hot shower and a dry uniform later, he headed to the bridge to confer with Tuvok.  The lift opened and every eye turned in his direction without so much as a noticeable objection from the Vulcan in command.  Chakotay did his best to keep his expression neutral, knowing full well that that was impossible.

“Mr. Paris, you have the bridge.”  Tuvok rose without invitation and followed Chakotay into the readyroom.

“Aye, Sir.”  A solemn Tom Paris handed the con over to Simmons and moved to the command level, never taking his eyes off the Commander until the door closed obscuring his view.

“The Captain?”  Tuvok followed Chakotay to the upper level and took a seat on the couch.

“As well as can be expected.”  Chakotay swallowed hard.

“The doctor assures me that the dosage he prescribed will give her relief and keep her sedated until she is able to come home.”

“Yes, he said as much to me.  It took effect pretty quickly.  She…”  Chakotay could feel the tears burning behind his eyes.  He looked up and saw the distress in the Vulcan’s face.  Chakotay dropped his head to his hands and allowed the silent tears to flow.

“She is a strong woman, Commander, she will..”

“You didn’t see it—didn’t hear the shrill whistle as the sharp leather stripped the flesh from her body.”  Chakotay slammed his fist into the table.  “And I hurt her.”  Chakotay studied his hands

“You did what was necessary to ease her suffering.”

“I hurt her.” Chakotay studied his hands. “I didn’t want to hurt her—I didn’t want to touch her that way…”  Chakotay looked up at Tuvok.  “I never- in all these years, in all the hours I spent imagining it – I never imagined that when I finally touched her, I would hurt her.”

“Next time you touch her, the pleasure will undoubtedly erase the memory of the pain.” Chakotay knew his words hadn’t been news to the Vulcan, however Tuvok’s response surprised him. “It is the only logical progression.  You have slowly evolved to this point despite mutual resistance.”

“I don’t know there will be a next time.”

“I believe that there will be.  I have watched the evolution of your relationship and physical completion is all that is lacking.  Now that Starfleet has removed the last remaining obstacle, I see no reason to deny your selves any longer.  In fact continued resistance would be most illogical.”

“I’m more worried right now about how to handle this when she comes back.”  Chakotay held up his shaky hands for both of them to examine.  “She will need steady strength not some emotional basket case.”

“Do not mistake your emotional bond for weakness.  She chose wisely when she chose you to be her caregiver.  I could have easily performed the same function, provided the steady strength you believe she needs and I could have done so unemotionally.  What Kathryn needs now is what Kathryn has need throughout most of this journey-you.”  Tuvok waited for his word to sink in.  He saw the surprise when Chakotay realized that Tuvok had always known and approved of their relationship.  “No one can take the tremendous burdens she carries as Captain but whether she is physically, intellectually or emotionally overwhelmed you have that unique ability to step in and provide relief.  The doctor will alleviate her physical suffering, but no one can remove her emotional pain.  You, however, can share it with her and thus make it bearable.  Humans need to express their emotions.  Do not try to lock yours away. Seeing them will provide great comfort to her.”

“Maybe you’re right about Kathryn, but I have pull myself together for the crew.”

“Most of them appreciate and respect your position.”

“How are Sam and Naomi?”

“Ensign Wildman is sedated and Naomi is understandably upset.  She is staying with Mr. Neelix.”

“B’Elanna?”

“Lieutenant Torres has torn down the impulse engines.  At the rate she is working, Vorik tells me she will rebuild the entire ship before morning.”

“Yea.”  Chakotay had to smile in spite of himself.  “Sounds like B’Elanna.  The rest of the crew?”

“Most have only a vague understanding of what has taken place, except those close to Naomi.  The senior staff has of course been briefed.”

“Good.  I think the quieter we keep the details the better.  I’m worried about Naomi and Sam.”

“Mr. Neelix tells me the child is quite despondent. Perhaps a visit from you would aid in lifting her spirits.”

“I have no idea what to say to her.”

“Do you fault the child?”

“Of course not.  I just don’t know what I can say to make her feel better.”

“Perhaps just knowing you do not blame her will be helpful.”

“You’re right and I suppose I wouldn’t be much good to you running the ship right now anyway.”

“We are in orbit, Commander, there is little need for command decisions at this time.”

“You’re right…”  Chakotay smiled.  “I’ve said that too many times today it is starting to worry me.”

“It is understandably unnerving.”  Tuvok stood.  “I will return to the bridge now.”

“I’ll go see Naomi in a few minutes.”  Chakotay and Tuvok nodded; Tuvok walked toward the door.  “Tuvok.”

“Yes, Commander?”

“Thank you.”

With a quick nod Tuvok exited the readyroom, leaving Chakotay alone with his thoughts.

By the time Chakotay reached the messhall, Neelix was embroiled in the height of the lunch rush.  Chakotay saw Naomi working behind the counter, but before he could reach her she disappeared.  He looked around for where she might have gone but couldn’t see her.

“Commander, what can I do for you today.”  Neelix sounded like his cheery self as he approached.  He lowered his voice as he got closer.  “How’s the Captain?”

“She’ll be fine.”  Chakotay saw the doubt in Neelix’s eyes but neither asked further.  “I was looking for Naomi.  She was right here when I came in.”

“Yes, she was.  Now I wonder where she could have gotten to?”  Neelix looked around, mostly to assure himself she was not within earshot.  “She’s worried.”

“We all are.  Do you think you could find her for me?”

“Sure.. but – Commander, she’s frightened.  She thinks, well—she thinks you are mad at her.”

“I know she’s upset, Neelix.  That’s why I need to talk to her.”

“Yes, well I’m sure you know what’s best but…”  Neelix fidgeted.  “she’s only a child after all and…”

“Neelix, no one is blaming Naomi.  May I speak with her please?”

“Well, if I can find her.  I’ll look in here.”  He pointed toward the kitchen.  “but, I am very busy. Perhaps it would be better if you came back later.”

“It’s OK, Uncle Neelix.  I’m right here, Commander.”

“Hi, Naomi.”  Chakotay’s heart broke for the frightened look in the child’s eyes. “If it’s OK with you, I’d like to go some place less noisy to talk.”

“Yes, Sir.”  She nodded to Chakotay then turned to Neelix.  “I’ll be fine, Uncle Neelix.”

“Of course you will, dear.”  He smiled at the child but the concern showed when he looked at the Commander.

“I’ll bring her back later.”

Normally, the child would have held his hand and chatted up a storm as they left the messhall.  Today Naomi walked stiffly and silently by his side.  Chakotay ordered the lift to deck three and quietly let them into his quarters.

“Can I get you something?”

“No, thank you, Sir.” She stood with her hands at her sides and her eyes straight ahead.

“Naomi, can I ask you something?”  Chakotay looked down almost smiling at her stiff formal stance.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you think I’m going to hurt you in some way?” He saw a bit of her fear replaced by surprise, when she finally looked at him.

“No, Sir.”

“Then why are we being so formal.  I thought we were friends.”

“Yes, Sir, but I thought this would be an official..”  She thought for a minute to locate the correct word.  “reprimand—isn’t that it?”

“Yes, that’s the correct word, but this isn’t a reprimand.  Naomi, honey, I’m worried about you. I want to talk to you and see how you are.  Please, come and sit down.”

Naomi followed him to the couch and sat as stiffly as she stood.

“Naomi, no one is blaming you for what happened.  Can you understand that? ”

“But I did something bad and the Captain got punished for it.  It’s my fault.”

“No. You didn’t do anything bad.  What you did was against the rules on that planet but it wasn’t bad.”

“Same thing.  They hurt her and it’s all my fault.”  The big round eyes fill with tears.

“Oh, Naomi.” He pulled her close and hugged her.  “Do you know why I waited so long to come and see you?”

“’Cause you're mad at me?”

“No, baby, I’m not mad at you.  I waited because I don’t know what to say to you.  I want to tell you it’s all right, and it will be, I promise, it really will, but we all know it isn’t right now.  And I want to tell you not to feel bad and not to cry, but we all feel bad and it’s OK to cry.  What you can’t do is blame yourself.  It’s not your fault.”

“But, I did it.”

“You picked a flower for your mother.  There shouldn’t be anything wrong with doing that.  You had no way of knowing they had rules against it.”

“Mom always says we are supposed to know the special rules before we go planetside.”

“That’s right.  But how do you learn those rules?”

“Someone tells me.”

“And did anyone tell you not to pick the flowers?”

“No.”

“Then how could it be your fault?”

“It just is.”

“Well, then I guess it’s my fault, too, because I didn’t tell you those rules and the Captain, it must be her fault, too.  And I guess we should punish Mr. Tuvok because it was his job to find out those rules.”

“No! I did it, not Mr. Vulcan.”

“But you didn’t do it alone.  We all made mistakes and this is the result.  There is a big difference between making a mistake and doing something intentionally wrong.  No one did anything wrong here and no one will be punished.”

“Except the Captain.”

“Unfortunately that isn’t something we can control.”

Chakotay was running out of things to say. He didn’t know how to make the child understand what he couldn’t fully comprehend himself. He only knew that Kathryn had done this to protect the child and he had to make sure Naomi came out of this OK.  She was quiet for a long time then she pulled back from him and watched his face.

“Will she hate me now?”

“No, Naomi, she doesn’t hate you or blame you at all.  She isn’t mad at you.  In fact last night she told me to make sure I took care of you.”  Chakotay brushed aside the tear that snaked down her cheek.  “She chose to do this, Naomi.  No one forced her.”

“'Cause she’s the Captain?”

“Yes, because she’s the captain, but mostly because she loves you and she would never let anyone hurt you if – if she could help it.”

“You love her don’t you?”

“Yes, and I wanted to protect her too.  I would have taken her place, but she would never have let me.  It’s part of her being Captain. It’s very hard sometimes, but I have to respect her decisions even when they hurt me.”

“Mom cried.”  Naomi was randomly trying to sort things out.  “She cried and cried until the doctor made her sleep.  Did you cry too?”

“Yes, Naomi.”  He could feel the tears burn his eyes again. “I cried.”

“Me, too.”  Naomi rested her head on his chest and wrapped her tiny arms around him.

They sat in silence until the comm link interrupted them.

“Sickbay to Commander Chakotay.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Commander, Ensign Wildman is coming around now.  You asked to be informed.”

“Thank you, Doctor.  On my way.”

“May I come too?”

“Sure.  What could make your mom happier than seeing you?”  He held out his hand and smiled.

Naomi grasped his hand and returned his smile; both smiles were a bit forced but it was a start.

By the time they arrived in sickbay, Samantha was sitting up trying to convince the doctor she needed to leave.

“I assure you, Ensign, Naomi has been well looked after.”

“I’m sure, Doctor, but she needs to be with her mother.”

Naomi looked up at Chakotay. He nodded and smiled, letting go of her hand.

“Mommy!”  She yelled as she hurried across the room into the waiting arms of her mother.

The tear-filled reunion made it seem like they had been separated for week instead of mere hours. Finally, Sam wiped away her tears and looked up at Chakotay.

“Chakotay…”  She pressed her lips together to hold back a fresh batch of tears.

“I know, Sam.”  He put one hand on her shoulder.  “We all feel the same way.”

“How was she?”

“She..”  He glanced at the child then back to her mother. “She’s been better but ..”

“It’s not OK yet, mom, but it will be.” Naomi offered wiping her own tears.

“Yes, honey. I know.”  Sam tried to smile for the child.

“Naomi can you help me in the office for a minute?”  The doctor wanted to give the others a chance to talk privately.

“Sure, Doctor.” Naomi looked back to her mother.  “I’ll be right back, OK?”

“Sure, honey. I’ll be right here.”

“It should have been me.”  Sam waited until the child was safely in the office to speak.

“I could say the same thing. I would have taken her place in a heartbeat, but she would never have allowed that.  It won’t change anything.”

“She’s my child- it should have been me.”

“Sam, maybe you don’t know Kathryn as well as I do, but you know the Captain and she would never allow that, not if she could help it.  She takes her responsibility to this crew very seriously.”

“I know that, but this was way beyond the call of duty.  Naomi is my responsibility.”

“Yes and as strongly as you believe that, the Captain believes it times 150 crew members.  I told Naomi and I’ll tell you.  Naomi didn’t do anything wrong.  She broke a rule, one that no one told her existed.  That puts the blame right back at the top.  We should have known those rules long before we allowed any members of this crew to down there.”

“But..”  Sam started to cry again.  “I saw what they did to her.”

“I saw it too, Sam, and I know how helpless you feel.  What we have to do now is respect her decision and help in the only way we can.  We can start by not blaming ourselves and moving past this.”  His words sounded brave and a bit hollow even to his own ears, but he hoped Samantha would hear them.  “She did this to prevent Naomi’s suffering but if we can’t move past it, Naomi will suffer anyway.  We can’t let that happen.”

“I’ll try, Chakotay.”  She looked up and tried to force a smile.

“Good.”  He gave her a smile he really didn’t feel, just as Naomi returned.

“Doc says if your finished, we can go home now.”

“Sound like a good idea, Sam.  Why don’t you take Naomi home?  I’ll stop by and let Neelix know.”

“OK, thanks.”

The hours couldn’t pass quickly enough for Chakotay, he knew he should sleep, but it wouldn’t happen.  He had tried a vision quest earlier.  Although the sorrowful yellow eyes had offered comfort, he didn’t feel any better.  Chakotay paced his quarters.  Stopping in front of the viewport, he stared out into the darkness and wondered what Kathryn was doing.  The doctor had promised the dosage he had prescribed would keep her sedated until morning; Chakotay hoped he was right.  He wandered toward the couch, lying down in a futile effort to rest.  Every time he closed his eyes the same vision came to him.  Kathryn was lying naked in the darkness, shivering in spite of the mild temperature of the room, alone and in pain.  He got up and left his quarters.

Chakotay walked the ship endlessly until the corridors began to fill with people headed for Alpha shift.  It was almost time.  Chakotay returned to his quarters, showered and put on a fresh uniform. He picked up the loose wrap around garment the doctor had given him for Kathryn to wear.  She would be cold outside in this but she would only be outside for a minute before Voyager scooped them up and brought her Captain home.  The dress was open in the front, easy to put on; it fastened modestly and hung loosely so that as little as possible touched her skin.  The fabric had been treated so that it would soothe rather than irritate any open flesh it came into contact with.

“Chakotay to Tuvok.”

“Tuvok here.”

The response was immediate but something was missing and Chakotay suspected Tuvok had had no better a night then himself.

“Tuvok, I’m on my way to the transporter room.”

“I will alert the doctor and have you and the Captain transported directly to sickbay on your signal.’

“Thank you.  Chakotay out.”
 

It was a crisp clear morning on the planet with no trace of yesterday’s gray skies or freezing rain.  Chakotay materialized just outside the confinement building.  People milled about, calmly going about their daily activities as if nothing had happen—in their world this was normal.  Chakotay saw a crowd gathered around the back gate. It wasn’t the orderly, professional group from yesterday.  Today’s punishment was of a native and open to the general public.  The rowdy crown had come to jeer and cheer on the man and his whip. Fighting down the bile, Chakotay turned away and started for the main entrance.  He was a few minutes early, but the door opened and a woman motioned for him to enter.

“Commander, they are processing the necessary release documents now.  You may go in and prepare her to leave.”

“Thank you.”

She led the way to Kathryn’s room, letting him in and locking the door behind him.  It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room; the only light was coming through the small window.  It was warmer in here than last night, uncomfortable in his uniform but as Kathryn still wore only a sheet he imagined it had offered her a measure of comfort.  He knelt beside her bed, watching as she slept.  The doctor had apparently calculated well-, she was sleeping peacefully.

Kathryn’s lip was swollen and dark where her teeth had torn into it and her cheeks still bore the tracks of her tears, but she appeared to be resting comfortably.  Chakotay didn’t want to disturb her.  He would have rather taken her home wrapped in this sheet and sleeping comfortably, but the regulations said she had to walk out of the building, before she would be officially released.  He laid the garment across the edge of the bed and gently brushed her hair back from her face.

“Kathryn.”  His soft whisper got no response; he leaned in and spoke a little louder.  “Kathryn.”

Kathryn's eyes fluttered and closed.  She could feel his fingers brushing away her hair, so warm, so gentle; she must be dreaming again.  The sound of his voice saying her name, so real yet so far away. Kathryn’s mind drifted.  She shifted, rolling her weight from her side to her back.  With a sudden gasp her eyes flew open.  Kathryn’s muscles screamed in protest, her body was on fire with the pain; her eyes filled with tears as she bit hard into her blackened lip.

“Kathryn.”

She turned her head toward the sound of her name; the pain in his eyes hurt almost as badly as her abused flesh.  She struggled to move back to the relative comfort of her side, clamping her eyes shut and gasping with the effort.

“Help - me – back.” She forced out between clenched teeth.  Chakotay grasped her arm and help her roll forward. “Better.”

Chakotay watched her.  She worked to control her breathing, her eyes closed, blood oozing from the spot her teeth were clamped to her lip.  Rage built up in him; he could feel his fiery blood coursing through his body.  He hated these people with an intensity he had never before felt.  Their calm pseudo-civilized manner covered their sadistic tendencies. They claimed that pain and humiliation were the only effective deterrents to crime on their planet but Chakotay suspected they simply enjoyed their barbaric practices.  In his heart they were worse than the Cardassians,-- at least they had been honest about their enjoyment of the pain they inflicted on others.

The pain eased slightly, the fire was not so all consuming; Kathryn became conscious of the taste of blood and loosened her grip on her lip.  She opened her eyes.  His face reflected his pain, but what frightened her was the raw open hatred she saw there.  Never before, even as he recounted the worst of his encounters with the Cardassians, had she witnessed the violent hatred she saw now.  Kathryn reached out her fingers brushing away the hot tears on his cheek.  His eyes snapped to hers and she saw him try to mask his darker feelings.

“It’s almost time, they are processing your release.”  Kathryn just nodded.  “Doc sent this elegant garment for you to wear.”  Chakotay held up the particularly ugly loose dress and smiled. “ Its not one of his classier creations, but he assures me it was designed with your comfort in mind.  I think it’s easiest if we just get you to your feet and slip it on.”

“OK.”  Kathryn smiled for his benefit though the thought of moving again was less than pleasant.

The door clicked behind them.  Chakotay turned to find the woman standing in the doorway.

“Commander, she is free to go whenever you are ready.”

“Thank you.” He spoke through clenched teeth, afraid if he said more it would be less than polite.

The woman didn’t miss his anger.  She nodded and backed away closing the door but not latching it.

“OK, first we’ll sit up.”  Chakotay turned back to Kathryn.  “When you’re ready I’ll help you stand.”

“Yes.” It was all she could manage as she steeled herself for the upcoming movement.

Chakotay moved her legs from under the sheet, placing them carefully on the edge of the bed; he took hold of her arms and pulled her into a sitting position.  Kathryn closed her eyes and sucked in her breath.  Grabbing the dress he flung it over his shoulder as he steadied Kathryn with his other hand.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

Standing had not been as painful as she expected, not nearly as bad as placing her weight on her back.  She was stiff and sore and certainly not strong enough to fully carry her own weight, but she was OK.  The hardest part for Chakotay was finding a place to hold her that wouldn’t aggravate already abused flesh.  Once she was fairly stable on her feet he kicked away the sheet that crumpled at her feet.  Chakotay reached for the dress, easing it over one arm, around her back and over the other.  Kathryn held on tight to his shoulders as he bent and fastened the front of the garment.

“Lovely.”  He smiled.  “Ready to go?”

“Take me home.”

Kathryn took the arm he offered and moved a tentative step forward.  Chakotay could see it hurt her to move, but he knew Kathryn and Kathryn would walk out of here under her own power – or mostly her own.  Slowly, they made their way to the outside.  A few people gave them curious looks but most just went about their business.  Once outside they could hear the jeer of the crowd behind the wall encouraging the man with the whip.  The sharp snap made Kathryn cringe, the solid thwat and the painful cry that followed brought tears to her eyes.

“Voyager, two to beam up.”  Chakotay held her with one hand and slapped his comm badge with the other.

The cheering crown and the painful sounds of Madacian discipline were lost in the whirl of the transporter beam.  They materialized in sickbay and Kathryn allowed herself to collapse against him.

“Commander, bring her here.”  The Doctors voice came from behind a screen only steps away.

Chakotay held her gently, waiting until she raised her head from his chest to assist her to the doctor’s location.

“Morning.”  The doctor solemnly nodded as he carefully gauged the condition of his patient.  “Commander, please step away for a moment.” He quickly scanned her and motioned for the Commander to move back.  “Captain, the best course of action here is for me to regenerate as much of the tissue on the front of your body as possible, this will allow you to lie down so that I may tend to your more serious injuries.”

“Whatever you think is best.”  Kathryn replied, not much caring how he went about treatment as long as he did it.

“Yes..”  The doctor’s eyes snapped up to meet Chakotay’s, neither like the tone of her reply but neither spoke.  “All right then.  Commander, if you will step behind the Captain and provide some support, I will begin treatment while she is standing.”

Chakotay stood behind Kathryn, supporting her by placing his hands on her upper arms and carefully maintaining a small distance between his body and her back.  The Doctor unfastened the dress exposing her battered breasts.  Kathryn rested her head back against Chakotay’s shoulder closing her eyes; the gesture allowed him a clear view of the doctor’s work.

Chakotay alternated between watching the doctor work and watching Kathryn’s face. The more tissue he regenerated the more relaxed her expression became.  The doctor finished her breasts, leaving the rosy pinkness of the newly regenerated tissue to move lower.  Chakotay fought a new feeling, a tight knot formed in the pit of his stomach as he watched those other hands touching her so intimately.  Even though in his mind he understood they were the healing hands of the holographic doctor, his heart ached with a need to rip them away and replace them with his own.

“Commander.” Chakotay met his eyes and the doctor was rocked by the impact of Chakotay’s completely unguarded emotions.  The hatred, the potential violence struggling beside a profound love, the icy cold mixed with the underlying warmth and tenderness.  He gently closed the dress across her body.  “Commander, please assist the Captain in removing the dress and lying face down on the biobed.”  He draped a sheet across the foot of the bed.  “You may cover her with this; I’ll be right back.”

The doctor stepped around the screen.  He had nothing to do over here but he had never before felt like an intruder in his own sickbay. He had watched the development of their relationship over the years and often wondered what it would take to get them together.  Now, he found himself wondering how they had ever managed to stay apart.  The doctor heard Chakotay whispering to her and the sound of the dress hitting the floor.  He went to sit in his office.

When he finally returned, the Captain was lying on her stomach the sheet raised only as high as her hips, leaving her tortured back completely exposed.  Chakotay was stroking her hair with one hand and she was gripping his other hand tightly.  The doctor scanned her injuries carefully.

“Most of these can be handled easily.”  He adjusted the regenerator.  “Some of the damage goes quite deep, we have some torn muscles to deal with.”

Receiving no response from either of them he continued his work in silence.  With no more comment than an occasional moan from the Captain, he finished repairing most of the damage.

“I have done as much as I can here.  Captain, how do you feel?”

“Better.” She rolled her shoulders testing herself.  “Much better, but stiff.”

“Yes, your muscles will be stiff, you will also notice the newly regenerated skin has a reddish pink tone; this will fade.  You may feel some tenderness in spots where deeper regeneration was necessary, but other than that you should be good as new.”

Kathryn rolled her shoulders and flexed her sore muscles as she moved to sit up.  Chakotay was immediately next to her wordlessly wrapping her gently in the sheet.

“Can she go home?”  There was a strange protective hostility in his voice.

“Yes, Commander.” The doctor turned to look at Kathryn.  “In fact, Captain, I would highly recommend one of those hot baths you are famous for.  A long soak will soothe the stiff muscles.”

“That doesn’t sound like a hardship.”  She gave a weak smile and reached for Chakotay’s hand.  “May we go?”

“I want to give you a lotion to protect the new skin.  I‘ll only be a minute.”  He left them alone again.

“Hey, you with me?”  Kathryn gently tugged Chakotay back from wherever his thoughts had carried him.

“Always.”  He brought his attention back to her and smiled.  Chakotay gently ran his finger across her swollen lip.  “We have to get him to fix this before we go.”

“Oh, my, yes.”  The Doctor rejoined them “Hold this, Commander.”  He handed the lotion to Chakotay.  “This will only take a second.  Now, Captain after your bath, spread this lotion on all the new skin…”  He paused and glanced over at, Chakotay. “I trust you will assist in places she can’t reach?”  He returned to his work without waiting for an answer.  “It’s soothing and protective but not greasy like the ointment.  Once it’s – er- rubbed into your skin, you won’t know it’s there.”  He stood back and surveyed his work.  “There, good as new.  Now, I would recommend a site to site.  Contact me if you have any problems.” The doctor left them alone again.

Kathryn grabbed the sheet wrapping it around her as she slipped off the bio bed.

“Computer, site to site transport.  Transport Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway to the Captain’s quarters.”

The Captain found herself standing in her living area next to her First Officer.  She was wearing nothing but a sheet and it felt perfectly normal.  When she looked up at him he smiled, quickly covering the dark shadow that crossed his face; it worried her.

“I’ll take that bath, now.”  She started for the bathroom, but turned back uncertainly.  “You’ll stay,- won’t you?”

“I’ll be here.”  He motioned toward the couch.  “I’ll check in with Tuvok.”

“Good.  I think I would like to wait until tomorrow to speak with the senior staff.  Do you think that’s all right?”

“They are all anxious to know you’re OK, but Tuvok can relay the message for now.  I’m sure they will understand.”

Kathryn detoured into the bedroom and grabbed her robe, then came into the living area.

“Are you?”  She studied his expression.

“Huh?”

“Are you OK?”  She held his face in her hands forcing him to look at her.

“Sure.”  His eyes wavered, but he smiled.  “OK, I’m tired.  I-er- didn’t get any sleep last night.”  He shrugged.

“I’ll keep the bath short and we’ll get some rest.”  She moved back but held his eyes.  “OK?”

“If you eat something first.  I know you didn’t get to eat dinner the other night and I bet you haven’t eaten anything since."

“I bet you didn’t either.”

“You take a bath I’ll make us both some breakfast, ummm brunch maybe?”

“OK.”
 

Once she turned off the water, Kathryn could hear his muffled voice as he talked with Tuvok.  It was a much longer conversation than she imagined it would be.  Apparently, something had changed in their relationship, too.  She listened to his movements in the other room; the water felt wonderful as the heat seeped in and soothed her aching muscles but her concern for him kept her from truly relaxing. She was just about to get out when he knocked on the door.

“Kathryn, let me know when you are ready to get out and I will fix our food.”  He called through the door.

“I’m just getting out now.”

“That was fast.  Please, don’t rush on my account.”

“I’m a little edgy I guess.”  She didn’t exactly want to explain why.  “And a little hungry, I think.  I’ll be out in a minute.”

“OK.”

She heard him cross the room, followed by the sound of dishes.  Kathryn quickly dried off, stopping only a minute when she caught sight of the hot pink strips across her breasts.  She slipped on her bathrobe and joined him in the living area.

“So what’s for breakfast?”  She sounded much more cheerful than she felt and was truly curious about the type of food she was going to have to force down for his benefit.

“Good call.  I made us some scrambled eggs.  I didn’t want anything too heavy.”

“Sounds good to me.”  She smiled, surprised that it actually did sound good.

They both managed to eat a fair amount of their food and Kathryn was savoring her second cup of coffee while Chakotay cleared away the dishes.

“I can at least help.  After all you cooked.”

“Sit and enjoy your coffee!”  His voice was a bit too sharp but he quickly recovered and smiled at her.  “Please—just humor me, OK?”

“OK.”  She sat back and watched him.  To most people he would have appeared normal; she knew him better than that.

When he finished, she motioned for him to join her on the couch.

"Shouldn't we get some lotion on that delicate skin of yours?"  He smiled attempting to tease her out of what looked like a serious conversation.

"We will."  She took both his hands in hers.  "First I want you to talk to me."

"All right.  What should I talk about?"  He shrugged and tried to laugh it off.

"You.  I want to know how you are."

"I'm fine."  His smile slowly faded when he realized she wouldn't accept his answer.

"Chakotay, I know you better than anyone.  You are far from fine and I want you to talk to me about it."

"Kathryn, it's nothing.  Just let it go."  He kept his voice even but sitting next to him, she could feel his muscles tense.

"No.  Just sitting here next to you I can feel the hostility.  There is an undercurrent of violence I have never felt from you before and it scares me."

"I'll get over it."

"I certainly hope so, but you will get over it a lot sooner if you let me help you."

"I'm fine.  Don't worry."  He made one more futile attempt to brush her off.

"I am worried and you are not fine.  I'm not letting you bury this, so you might as well talk to me."

“Kathryn.”  He got up and walked to the viewport; she followed.  “I’m tired and edgy right now- just let it go.”  There was an ugliness brewing inside of him that he never wanted her to see.

“Chakotay.”  She touched and him he spun around, glaring at her with hatred in his coal black eyes.

“Let it go, damn it!”  He pushed past her.

“No!”  She followed, moving in front of him but carefully not touching him again.  “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“You don’t want to know.”  He walked away but she followed. “Kathryn, damn it!- Please don’t do this.”

“I’m not stopping until you talk to me.”

“Damn it!”  Chakotay pounded his fist into the bulkhead, spun around and grabbed her shoulders.

“Want to hit me, Chakotay?!”  She raised her chin defiantly challenging him.  “I’m the one you’re really angry at.”

Their eyes were locked in a fiery duel, his fingers dug painfully into her shoulders; neither moved.  Suddenly, he pulled her into a hug so tight she almost couldn’t breath.

“No. I hate them.”  He sobbed into her hair.  “I want to kill each and every one of them with my bare hands.  I hate what they did to you!”  He lowered his voice.  “I hate what I let them do.”

“You are not to blame for this.” Kathryn held him, gradually moving them toward the couch.

“I could have stopped it!  I could have beamed you out of there, to hell with the trade!  I’m sorry—so, oh god, Kathryn.”  He buried his face in her neck and cried.

“Let it all out.”  She held him, rocking him, running her hands up and down his back as her hair absorbed his tears.  They sat quietly, except for occasional sobs, clinging to each other until he calmed down.  “I’m so sorry.  I keep doing this to you.”

“No, it’s not your fault.”  He lifted his head to look at her.

“Yes, actually it is.”  She took his tear stained face in both her hands.  “I’m always going off doing these seemingly heroic things and leaving you to pick up the pieces.  I expect you to stand by silently and watch.  I expect you to hold the crew together, to pick up what ever is left of me and miraculously make me whole again- and you always do.  How unfair I’ve been to you.”  She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips.  “I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t do it differently, Kathryn.”

“No, I don’t think I can.”

“If you did, you wouldn’t be you,” He took a breath.  “and I love you just the way you are.”

“I love you, Chakotay, and I’m so sorry I keep putting you through this.”

“You don’t put me through any more then you do yourself.”

“What you do is much harder.  I need you there. You're my hero, I couldn’t any of this without you.”

“We’re quite a pair aren’t we?”  He leaned his forehead against hers.

“I’d say a perfect pair.”  She sat back.  “Feel any better?”

“A little.”  He grinned.  “Say it again and I might.”

“What? –Oh!”  She smiled.  “I love you.”

Kathryn leaned in until their faces were almost touching, her hands cupping his face, their warm breath mingling.  His fingers ran through her hair, their eyes seeking and making for a lifetime.  Her moist lips gently pressed to his, soft kisses, giving and seeking.  His tongue traced her lips, dipping in to taste and explore as her lips parted in invitation. Chakotay’s mouth was warm, gentle, sweet tasting as the tea he had been drinking.  As his lips caressing hers, Chakotay closed his arms around her pulling her closer to his chest.

Kathryn nipped at his lip, sucking gently; his mouth moved over hers, skirting her cheek lovingly to suck the delicate skin of her neck.  His fingers brushed aside her robe, pushing it off her shoulder his mouth trailing behind inquisitive fingers.  Kathryn flinched and he pulled back to see the ugly dark imprint of his thumb against her pale skin.

“I’m sorry.”  He mumbled against her, brushing moist kisses across her shoulder.

“I bruise easily.”  She leaned back and smiled.  “but I know you’ll never let me break.”

“We should get that lotion on you now.”  He gently covered her shoulder with her robe.

“Yes, I suppose we have waited long enough.”

Kathryn took his hand and led him toward the bedroom.  Once inside she pulled back the covers and dropped her robe to the floor, lying face down on the bed.

“You better get more comfortable than that.”  She smiled over her shoulder at him.

Chakotay kicked off his boots; his jacket had long ago been discarded.  Grabbing the lotion, he climbed on the bed straddling her legs with his knees, trying hard to ignore that she was lying completely naked beneath him.  Chakotay warmed the lotion between his hands; starting at her shoulders he smoothed it on running gentle palms over the pink stripes.  Kathryn flinched when he pressed on the hot red mark on her left shoulder; he eased back.

“Sorry.”

“It’s OK, just a tender spot.”

He continued to warm the lotion and spread it generously down her back and sides; he tried to ignore the way her back arched slightly as his fingers brushed the side of her breast.  He moved lower finishing her lower back.  Chakotay rubbed more lotion between his hands as he studied the deep pink lines that crossed the creamy white flesh of her buttock.  With a deep breath he steeled himself and slowly began to work the lotion into the tender skin.

Kathryn worked to keep still as his hands caressed her bottom, forcing her hips into the mattress to keep them from swaying.  The effort proved too much and a growl like sound escaped from deep in her throat.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was soft and velvety smooth.

“No.”  It was no more than a whispered rush of air; she was rapidly becoming incapable of more.

“I was so jealous of him.”

“Who?”

“The Doctor.”  Chakotay’s fingers moved down over her hips, his thumbs and palms pressing into the soft warm flesh of her buttock. Her hips rocked.  “When he was regenerating the tissue.  He was touching you- I wanted to rip his hands away from your breasts.”  He leaned over and kissed a deep crimson strip at the base of her spine.  “I never want anyone else to touch you.”

“He’s a doctor.”  She forced the words out, stifling a groan as he moved lower, spreading lotion on her bruised thighs.

“I didn’t say it was rational.  It’s how I feel.”

Kathryn laughed lightly, unable to offer more of a response as his fingers caressed the tender flesh of her inner thighs.  God if he moved only centimeters higher he would find how wet she was. She wondered if he could smell her arousal.  Kathryn was lost in the growing sensation and then it stopped. Oh god, he was finished.

“I think I’ve covered it all.”  His voice was deep and smooth; his hands rested lightly on her bottom.

After a minute Chakotay rose up on his knees lifting the slight pressure off her lower legs and allowing her to roll over.

“There’s more.”  She tried to hold her breathing steady but the look of heat on his face made her gasp.

“You can reach that yourself.”  His eyes left hers taking a slow inventory as she lay fully exposed to him.

“I would rather you did it.”  She felt the tension coil in her belly just from the desire in his eyes.

“Kathryn..”

“Please.”  She took his hands, tugging him forward until she could place them on her breasts.

“The last time…”

“This isn’t the last time.  You won’t hurt me.”  Kathryn shifted as she spoke repositioning her legs so that now he knelt between them.

Chakotay drew back his hands, smiling wickedly when she whimpered at the loss.  He warmed some lotion in his palms and started at her shoulders.  Smoothing it across her milky shoulders, freckle speckled surface of her upper arms, he bent close placing tender kisses on the darkened impression his grip had left on her pale skin.

“I’m sorry.”  The force of his words blew warmly across her neck causing a shiver.

Chakotay turned his head kissing the delicate spot behind her ear, and Kathryn sighed.
Kathryn's hands tugged at his shirt, finally pulling it loose enough so that she could slip one hand beneath it, her fingers gliding across his smooth almost hairless skin.

"One of us is way overdressed."

"You're the patient."  His hot breath against her skin and his fingertips sliding across her nipple, made her moan.  "This is for medicinal purposes-- remember?"

"I don't need medicine, I need you."

"Ummm, so Tuvok told me."

"Tuvok?"  Kathryn's head jerked up and she pushed him back to look at him.

"Yes."  He laughed at the expression on her face.  Sitting up, Chakotay reached back for more lotion, which he applied in maddeningly slow circles around her breasts as he spoke. "What Kathryn needs now is what Kathryn has need throughout most of this journey- you."  He spoke in his best Tuvok imitation.  Kathryn moaned, arching when his palms finally covered her aching nipples.  "Told me that, too."

"Ummm?"  She tried to concentrate on his words, but his fingers sliding lower and grazing her belly were very distracting and at the moment she didn't really care what Tuvok or anyone else thought.

"He said that the next time I touched you, the pleasure would 'undoubtedly erase' the memory of the pain."

"Smart man, that Vulcan." Kathryn groaned as the big hands moved lower, detouring over her hips and down her outer thighs.

He kissed her stomach, his lips trailing fire slowly down her belly while his fingers softly caressed her quivering inner thighs.  She was wet, so wet and he needed to taste her.  He dipped his head breathing deeply of the steamy erotic scent of her.

"Chakotay." Her fingers were in his hair, she could feel his hot breath as he hovered only centimeters from her throbbing core.  "Please..."

 Kathryn's chest heaved, her hips rising off the bed as strong fingers slowly parted her oversensitive lips and his tongue sank into the satin wetness.  Chakotay's eager lips sucked her skin, his teeth lightly nibbled her sodden folds, his tongue darted in and around teasing, driving her higher.  Her entire body shook with desire, gasping she clutched at him. Two thick fingers slowly penetrated her welcoming depths as his lips closed on the tight bundle of nerves.  As Kathryn writhed beneath the excruciating onslaught, her entire body convulsed with her orgasm.

"Ohmygod!"  Her hips bucked off the bed, her legs clamped tightly around his head as Kathryn screamed out her exploding release.

Chakotay smiled against her lips, rising slowly as her legs fell limp and released him. He moved beside her and stroked her still quivering body; spreading feather light kisses across her face, watching her return to him.  Kathryn rolled to face him, burying her face in his neck her hands running over his still clothed body.

"These have to go."  She tugged at his clothing as she pressed herself close to him.

"As you wish."

Chakotay rolled off the bed and stood smugly staring down at her. He gathered the shirt easing it over his head, gradually exposing the smooth golden skin of his broad chest to her hungry eyes.  Kathryn licked her lips in anticipation. His fingers move to the fasteners on his trousers and Kathryn's pulse quickened. Hooking his thumbs in both trousers and boxers he watched her face as he slowly lowered them, exposing to her his very evident arousal. He was large, most impressively large; Kathryn flushed, staring in open hunger as he kicked away the remnants of his clothing and moved closer.

Kathryn reached out her hand letting her fingers lightly trace his hard member as he moved closer she pressed her wet lips to his smooth belly.  Looking up she watched him as she stroked his rock hard erection; his eyes closed and she wrapped her mouth around the head of it, delighting in hearing him groan her name.  She moved her mouth over him smoothly, deliberately, teasingly, enjoying the raspy sounds that tore from his throat.  His hips rocked, hands tangled in her hair and then suddenly he moved from her.  She watched him steady his breathing, regain just enough control before he climbed over her and gently pushed her down on her back.

“Another time, Kathryn.”  He leaned in and wiped her pout away with a kiss.  “This time I need to come inside you.”

Chakotay settled between her legs, resting their lower bodies together gently as his mouth reclaimed hers.  His soft kisses, gently inquisitive hands, quickly turning to burning touches, growing instantly urgent, demanding, panting each other’s air.  Kathryn gasped as he dragged the smooth head of his penis through her wet folds.  Her whole body jerked it response as it crossed her oversensitive center.

“Kathryn.”  Her name came out in a deep velvet rush of air.

She forced her eyes open to find his deep smoky eyes fixed on her.  The head of his penis was poised just barely touching her entrance, he held up his left hand fingers spread and Kathryn wound her own fingers around them.  Slowly he moved inside, she struggled to keep her eyes open.

Satin smooth, titanium hard slowly gliding into the velvet wetness, the sensation took her breath away.  His face reflected the love, the desire and the unbelievable restraint of his slow movements as eased in allowing her tight walls to slowly accommodate him. The amazing sensation of slowly stretching then closing tightly around him left Kathryn gasping, digging her fingers tightly into his hand as she struggled to maintain eye contact.

“So tight.”  He breathed leaning in to kiss her once they were completely joined, then just as slowly he withdrew and started the process all over again.

“Please.”  Kathryn’s hips bucked. “More”

Chakotay increased his pace, watching, listening, guiding his movements by her reactions.  Losing her battle, Kathryn's eyes closed, she threw her head back writhing with the building pressure.  Mumbling incoherently, her left hand clutched at him, her legs drew up closer to her chest.  Sweat glistened on her breasts, his, hers; as the pressure mounted her head tossed, her body stiffened and convulsed.  Kathryn cried out incoherently, the spasm of her tight inner muscles gripped him forcing him over with her.

“Kathryn.” Her name hissed past his lips as his body so tightly held back, burst forth in sudden gush of life affirming sensation.  Chakotay poured himself into the only woman with the power to heal him.

Chakotay fell across her, his face resting in the crook of her neck.  He rambled, mumbling into her flesh, words of love, words of promise and commitment - some coherent, most not.   She held him, her hands lightly caressing damp skin, soothing, reassuringly chasing the demons - his and hers.

Later she woke to the gentle caresses of golden fingers as they traced the hot pink strip that crossed her breast.  Kathryn saw the pain, the sadness in his eyes and the anger too. Her finger caught a tear and she touched it to her lips tasting the salt of his pain.

"I'm sorry."  He whispered when he realized she was awake.

"For what?" Kathryn cupped his face, drawing him closer for a gentle kiss.

"I’m sorry, that I just can't let it go - It’s not that easy."  He was saddened by the thought of disappointing her.

"It’s all right to be angry.  Just don't bottle it up—let me help you.  Let me be there for you like you always are for me."
 
 

It was two more days before the Captain returned to duty.  In her time off, she had managed a few hours with Naomi and had a long healing conversation with Ensign Wildman. On the morning of her return when the lift opened depositing the Captain on deck one, an awkward hush fell over the bridge crew. Everyone waited to see if this was the same Captain that had briefed them only days before.  She wasn't, but somehow that didn't appear to be a bad thing.

"Good morning."  After on moment of awkward pause the Captain seemed to float across the bridge to the command level.  She nodded and smiled at each of them and noticeably brightened at the sight of her smiling First Officer.

"Good morning, Captain."

"Commander."  She smiled again and took her seat.

It was an easy morning, after the initial hesitation; the mood was light and the banter flowed easily. Prime Minister Bernini’s hail caused a momentary pause but he was civil and polite, informing the Captain that the Keepers of Justness had found Voyager and her crew most worthy and the trade had been accepted.  Arrangements were made for the necessary exchange and the light mood prevailed.

The Captain and Commander were on their way to the readyroom when she stopped and stared down the quizzical look of her helmsman.

"Mr. Paris, is something troubling you?"

"Not really, Captain."  Tom smiled and left the challenge hanging as only he could.  If she was feeling brave she would ask for more, if not he would let it drop.

"OK, Mr. Paris, is there something you want to say?"  She raised one eyebrow and smiled, Tom understood she had taken up the challenge.

"I was only curious, Captain."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Tom.  Perhaps, you should just ask what it is you want to know."  Kathryn issued her own challenge and smirked as she waited to evaluate the courage of her pilot.

"I was just wondering."  Tom turned his chair to face her head on.  "We all know why we haven't see you in a few days.”  He watched but her expression didn’t change.  “And we are glad to have you back."  Tom paused to leave her room to back out and potentially save his own hide.

"Yes, and it is good to be back.  However, I sense a 'but'." Kathryn took a step closer and placed her hands on her hips.

"I was just wondering why we haven't see the Commander these past few days."

"He's been busy, Mr. Paris."  She turned and walked to the readyroom.  "After all, someone has to take care of me."  She tossed over her shoulder just before she let the door close.

Tom turned back to the helm with a chuckle. This may not be quite the same Captain they had a week ago, but Tom didn’t think anyone would complain. Looked to him  like Madacy’s black cloud had a latinum lining and the Commander finally hit paydirt.

The End.

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