DISCLAIMER: Voyager her crew and all of their toys belong to Paramount. I don't own any thing because the idea for this story again came from Sheri. No infringement intendedCAN'T GO HOME AGAIN
Part two
RATED NC 17
It had gotten a little more bearable, he was allowed into the general population sometimes. Meals were taken with a group and exercise was more frequent. He still had no contact with the other maquis and no communication with the outside ---nothing from Kathryn.
Others had visitors, he often saw them walking together outside. He heard them when they received letters, he had no one--no one on the outside to visit or write --no one but Kathryn and he didn't know any more if he had her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry had taken Lanna to visit his folks, leaving her alone for the first time in months. Mark was coming by later, she thought it would be nice to catch up. She was on the porch, just relaxing, she was slightly worn out from her company the day before, the chirp on her terminal brought her out of her daydream. She hurried inside to answer the call, with out checking it's source she punched it up and was more than surprised to see Owen Paris---she hadn't spoken to him since she left San Francisco.
"Kathryn, good morning."
"Owen." She was stiff and unsmiling.
"How are you, Katie?"
"I'm fine--is there something I can do for you?" She wondered if he knew about the baby--probably not, not many people did. She sat down, making sure only her face could be seen.
"I wanted to touch base with you I.." He hesitated, she knew he wasn't alone.
"Did you want to see your grand daughter? She isn't here right now, but I would be glad.."
"That's not why I called." He cut her off, with a painful look.
"Then why did you call?"
"I--We need your help, Katie. I was wondering if..."
"Who is WE Owen?" She was cold and demanding now.
"We have a small dilemma--you see..."
"Owen ---WHO. Who is there with you."
"Captain, it's Admiral Nechayev." She stepped up next to Owen, "And Admiral Forsythe is here also."
"It's Kathryn--just Kathryn now--Alynna and I really have nothing to say to you."
"OK, Kathryn--there is a conflict with the..."
“I'm well aware of your problems; I'm in Indiana not the Delta quadrant anymore."
"Yes, well we were hoping that since you had first hand experience with these people--that you might help us."
"You have my logs---all I know about them is there---Now, I don't have any more to say to you."
"Katie, Please.." Owen stepped back into the picture.
"Owen I have only two things to speak to you about---first if you would like to meet your granddaughter ---It can be arranged, anytime. Second if you would like to discuss the release of my crew, then I'll listen to reason--"
"Katie, they are criminals--we can't just..."
"Than, I have nothing further to discuss with you---good bye, Owen." She cut the transmission and pounded on the desktop.
"Kath, You OK?" His voice startled her, but his concern was touching.
"Mark." She turned and tried to smile. "I didn't hear you come in."
"I'm sorry --you were talking, I didn't want to interrupt."
"It's OK --- I was just a little surprised. Let's sit outside--can I get you something?"
"No, I'm fine." He followed her back to the porch.
"So tell me what you're doing now." She sat down putting her feet up on the table.
"Same things--research, you know quiet life."
"Your wife---Marlea, is it?"
"Yes, she's well--- sends you her best, she would like to meet you someday."
"I'd like that." She reached over and put her hand on his. "I'm glad you're happy"
"I am--I only wish you were." He looked at her sadly. "I wasn't trying to, but I did over hear part of that conversation ---they want your help?"
"Isn't that something? Now they want my help--well I have no obligation to them--whatever problems they have, I'm sure they brought on themselves."
"That doesn't sound like you---fleet was in your blood."
"Not any more--I overlooked a lot of things in the past--held fast to the belief that in the end they knew what was best---that's all changed now."
"Because of what they did to the maq---your crew?"
"Partly---we spent a long time on our own, we fought hard and worked hard to maintain the almighty principles they set forth--then we get home and they betrayed us--they lied and they railroaded those people-- they did exactly what the maquis members of my crew said they would. Now they want my help---I don't think so."
"Kath--you know I wouldn't try to tell you what to do.." He laughed and shook his head. "Like you would ever listen anyway--but think about this--if you can help, maybe prevent all out war, save some lives....I know you, walking away isn't the answer."
"I've changed, Mark. I spent seven years carrying the responsibility for the lives of those people --I won't abandon them now--even for Fleet--especially for fleet."
"Yes, I can understand that--but--consider this, maybe you can use this to help them."
"Maybe, but I'm not sure I could help anyway." She spoke quietly and looked down.
"Where is the baby?" He changed the subject, to lighten the mood.
"Harry took her to visit his folks, they will be back tomorrow." She smiled, a little forced, but better.
"So ---Harry, what's that all about?"
"Harry?!" She laughed out loud. "Mark, really--he's just a kid."
"So--Hey, I come to visit and you have this good looking young stud living here and a belly out to here." He gestured with his hand. "What am I supposed to think."
"Godds--Harry's first and only deep space assignment was Voyager. I feel like his mother." She was laughing now and it felt good. "We're just two lost souls."
"OK, not Harry--then..?"
"So that's it---curiosity killed the cat as they say." She was still smiling, acutely aware of his scrutiny. "I've haven't changed that much--I'm really not into children."
"In case you hadn't noticed--Harry is not a child."
"Well he practically is --to me anyway." She laughed again. "OK --if you must know--His name is Chakotay."
"The maqu--your first officer? Kathryn, you have changed." He smiled, but the shock still showed.
"Yes, I'm very into criminals now."
"I didn't mean that. He's your first officer--I thought you didn't believe in shipboard romances."
"Oh-- cradle robbing is OK, though."
"I'm just surprised, but then again --you were on a rather long assignment."
"Yes, it was, and you weren't so far wrong. I couldn't help how I felt about Chakotay and god knows it was not secret how he felt about me---we maintained our distance for seven years."
"What distance would that be?" He leaned over and patted her stomach, causing her to laugh again.
"A safe distance. I never even kissed him until we reached the alpha quadrant."
"Well, you do fast work."
"Yes, and accurate too." She chuckled.” ---We had one night in the alpha quadrant and the next morning they took him. I haven't seen him since. I don't even know if he knows."
"I'm sorry, Kath"
"Me too--but I will find a way."
"That much hasn't changed--if anyone can---- it's you."
The fall slipped away and the winter followed, it snowed hard the night before the baby was born, but with shuttles it wasn't the problem it used to be. Phoebe took care of Lanna; her mother was with her and, of course, Harry. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy; he had tufts of thick black hair and a deep tan complexion. She thought he looked exactly like his father--or would if he had a tattoo--except when he opened his eyes and pierced your soul with crystal blue eyes.
She named him Edward Kolopak Chakotay and many of the crew made the long trip to see him, when they returned home. Harry stayed through Christmas, but eventually returned to San Francisco, to make a life for himself. She lived alone with the children; she had constant contact with family and friends and never gave up trying to find a way to free the others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He had been here a year. It was fairly routine, now. He rose early, had breakfast --usually sat alone, worked either in the garden or in the small wood shop then took some exercise. He was allowed some more freedom than before and could mingle with others in his free time --sometimes he did, but he had made not friends and still heard nothing from the outside.
He was eating his dinner, alone at the table, when a man came up and asked to sit with him. He just nodded his consent and went on eating.
"You're that Maquis fellow from that lost ship---aren't you?"
"Voyager, yes."
"Thought so."
They finished the meal in silence and went their separate ways. He saw the man a few times after that, but they didn't speak again, until one day at lunch.
"Hey, maquis---what's your name?" He came and sat down.
"Chakotay."
"Yeah--I’m Zeb.” Chakotay just nodded and continued to eat. "That's really something 'bout your Captain."
"What's that?" Chakotay tried to pretend he wasn't interested.
"Or I should say Admiral--got a big promotion when you came back."
"I wouldn't know--don't follow that stuff." He didn't bother to tell him he was cut off from all news from the outside and had no communications at all.
"Yeah---well, been a scandal 'bout her." He shook his head. "Think fleet wouldn't put up with it--but I hear she's pretty important to them--with the trouble, ya know."
"Not really." He kept eating; hoping this guy would talk more.
"The Celeron ---Seldrom--I don't know..."
"The Celeroans?"
"Yeah, that's them."
"What about them?"
"Been causing trouble--almost a year now, guess she knew them from that quadrant you were stuck in."
"Yeah, we had a few problems with them---came out OK."
"I guess so---she must be something."
"What do you mean?"
"Heard she had a thing going with their leader---that's why you guys got out alive."
"That's Nonsense---Kat...the Captain never did anything like that."
"Sure-- she wouldn't be telling you---but I hear she's keeping them in line for fleet."
"Well, she is quite a diplomat."
"Diplomat---so that's what the high and mighty call it---diplomacy?” He leaned in close and whispered. "I hear she had his kid."
"What?!" Chakotay looked up and Zeb smiled and nodded his head.
"Aint that something--sold you out and sleeping with the enemy. Yep, that's what I hear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the end of another summer, before Kathryn heard anything more from Starfleet. She was preparing for Lanna's second birthday, many of the crew would be there. She was looking forward to seeing Tuvok and Sam and Naomi were coming. Harry would be here today, he always came a week before anyone else, but this time he wasn't coming alone. Harry had met 'the most wonderful woman in the universe' -- besides you, he had been careful to explain.-- and he was anxious for Kathryn to meet her. Her mother would be at the party and Phoebe, even Mark and Marlea were supposed to come.When the terminal chirped, she punched it up and took a seat. Once again she was taken by surprise when Owen appeared.
"Katie, How are you?"
"Fine Owen---Lanna will be two next week you are welcome to come to her party." She wanted him to know from the start she hadn't changed her mind about talking to fleet.
"I don't think I can get away." He almost looked like he wanted to.
"Too bad--she is a wonderful little girl. I was hoping you would bring her parents."
"Katie---I never wanted any of this..."
"Owen, it's a little late for this ---what do you want?"
"I--We want to meet with you, Katie---"
"Owen you know..."
"Katie--if you'll talk, we may be able to straighten some things out---I can't promise Katie, but ---listen when I tell you, things are changing and maybe you could have an advantage."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't talk anymore and I wasn't supposed to contact you. But when someone does --listen and Katie--you might have the upper hand--take advantage of it." He just stared at her and then the screen went blank.
Harry and Marian came and stayed the week; he was right she was wonderful and very much in love with Harry --you couldn't help but be happy for them. She told Harry about Owen's call and the others when they arrived, no one knew what to make of it. Generally they agreed to take it as it came, wait for contact and play every advantage they could find.
It was a week after the party when she received the call. This time, she knew it was Starfleet. She had checked the location of every incoming transmission in the past weeks and she was ready for this one. The kids were both napping so she was free to speak undisturbed. She punched up the viewer, acting preoccupied as she did.
"Yes." She turned and pretended to be surprised by the image of Admiral Nechayev.
"Kathryn."
"Alynna." They locked eyes.
"Will you speak to me?"
"You know my conditions."
"Yes, and I might be able to work with you; if you could work with us."
"Depends on what you want." Kathryn sat never moving her eyes off the Admiral's.
"I would like to speak to you in person--would you be willing to come to San Francisco?" Alynna seemed nervous.
"I don't know---when would you like me to be there?" Kathryn tried to remain calm.
"As soon as possible--I know you have the child to consider--if you brought her with you, we would arrange care." She was beginning to sound a little desperate.
"I'll see what I can arrange. Can I get back to you on this?"
"I need---Yes, of course. I would appreciate knowing as soon as possible---so I can arrange accommodations for you."
"I'll let you know." Kathryn ended the transmission and sent a prearranged encrypted signal to Tuvok and Harry.
Within two hours Kathryn had packed the kids off to her sister and was on her way to meet Tuvok and Harry at Harry's place. Once there they compared notes and devised a strategy. They knew the Federation was trying to Negotiate a peace with the Celeroans and that it hadn't gone well so far. Harry had sent for Joe Carey and from some of his less honorable contacts, they learned the chief negotiator for the Celeroans was none other than Uttan Neaua, the same leader they had worked with in the Delta Quadrant. They also learned he was distrustful of Fleet's sincerity, and Federation President Kotran Dar'pal, and the council were desperate to improve that image and bring the Celeroans to the negotiation table.
They put as many pieces together as possible then worked on their demands. By the next morning, they were ready and Kathryn called The Admiral.
"Kathryn, you're in San Francisco--does this mean you are will to help us?"
"This means I am will to consider your offer." She watched Alynna flinch; she clearly didn't expect Kathryn to be so direct.
"I see, I will need some time to put together a meeting. Could you be here at 1300 hours?"
"Your office 1300 hours--Janeway out." She ended the transmission, without waiting for a response.
Kathryn arrived at Admiral Nechayev's office at exactly 1300 hours and was ushered in without pause. As she entered, all four of them stood to great her. Four Admirals, one Kathryn--that was the new Starfleet way--Alynna Nechayev, Owen Paris, Jonathan Bullark and Harrison Forsythe --to any one else, an impressive group. Kathryn was neither impressed not intimidated, after all there was nothing left for them to do to her---they needed her.
"Kathryn, Please have a seat." Alynna motioned to the chair. "Can I offer you something?"
"Nothing, thank you. Alynna, gentlemen if you could just get to the point of this meeting."
"As I'm sure you are aware, we have been experiencing some difficulty with a race you had contact with in the delta quadrant." Alynna began, Kathryn nodded her acknowledgment. "We are trying to bring the situation under control through negotiation, it has proven difficult however and we thought that your prior experience might prove helpful."
"You have all of my logs, therefore you already possess all of the knowledge I have to offer."
"We were hoping you would consider a more personal participation." John Bullark injected.
"Personal? You want my participation in the negotiations?" She already surmised that they needed her to personally negotiate the peace, but she wasn't ready to let them know that.
"Yes, that is a possibility. Are you will to consider such an option?" Alynna took over again.
"And just why would I want to do this?"
"We would be willing to compensate you ---handsomely."
"I really don't think I'm interested." Kathryn shifted as if she would get up.
"What would make you interested? Is there something that would make you consider working with us?" Harry Forsythe was beginning to sweat--Kathryn found that interesting, in the controlled climate of Alynna's office.
"Perhaps."
"Kathryn, what is it you want?" Owen spoke for the first time, it was an old game they played--coming at her from all sides, but Owen knew she was ready for them.
"What do I want?" She took her time and looked each one in the eye before she continued. "First I want all of my crew to receive full pardons and be released--today. Second..."
"You can't expect us to do that." Alynna challenged.
"Oh but I do, and further more I expect them to receive full compensation for their service to Starfleet--including this past eighteen months. I will name my own negotiation team and I will have not only your assurance, but that of the Federation council that whatever deal I strike will be unconditionally honored.
"That's impossible." Alynna was angry.
"Kathryn you understand our position, we need time to work things out" Owen offered.
"Time, fine. I'll be leaving. When you are ready to meet my terms--contact me." She stood, nodded at Alynna and headed for the door.
"Wait, Kathryn please." John stood next to her. "We can talk. We are prepared to work with you."
"How?" She turned but did not take her seat.
"Pardons can be arranged for most of the maquis." He continued.
"Most?"
"We would be willing to release the maquis and Tom Paris with the exception of their leader, Chakotay." as John continued, Kathryn could feel her stomach tighter, she looked from face to face and Owen's face told her she could get more.
"Unacceptable."
"It's the best we can do." Harry stood to join them.
"Not good enough--good bye." She spun around and actually reached the door before Alynna spoke.
"You would really walk out of here and leave the rest in prison, just to free him?"
"In any negotiation there are points on which you compromise and points on which you walk--on this one there is no compromise." Kathryn had not turned to face them as she spoke and now she opened the door and exited the room.
The door closed behind and she sighed deeply. She was right, it was a big sacrifice to make for one person and she wasn't sure she had that right, but together with Harry and Tuvok and some input from Joe the decision had been made. All of them or none. She walked toward the lift.
"Katie" Owen called from behind.
"Yes, Owen?" She studied his face, he almost smiled.
"Please come back in and talk some more."
"I won't concede this point."
"I know, please." He waited for an answer, she just nodded and led the way back.
"All of them." She stated as she entered the room.
"Agreed." Alynna spoke for them all.
Kathryn looked to each of them for conformation, each nodded and she resumed her seat. She tried not to let them see her relief--after this it was all down hill. Any other concessions on their part was just icing.
They will be released today." She wasn't asking them.
"Possibly tomorrow, there is paper work..." Harrison spoke raising his hand to emphasize his helplessness.
"Before midnight." Kathryn started straight into his eyes unflinching.
The negotiations continued for three hours, with Kathryn winning everything she wanted--not everything she asked for but certainly everything she expected and maybe more. She would lead a team of her own choosing, with the exception of one Admiral of Starfleet's choosing --anyone but Alynna-- and any council member. Admiral Nechayev was not happy with this stipulation, but in the end she agreed. She would meet with the Federation President, to receive his assurances and the written assurance of the council that any deal she struck would be honored unconditionally. There were guidelines for negotiation and pre set limits to some concessions she could make, all to be delivered in writing, along with her authorization to sign a pack for the Federation council's approval. Her meeting with the President was to be in ten days and at that time she would learn the time table for the negotiations. The paper work was already processed and her former crew would be released from headquarters at midnight. They would each receive a full pardon and eight and a half years compensation at half pay. Their families were notified and most would have people waiting for them. B'Elanna's mother could not be reached and she wasn't sure if Owen would come, but she would be there waiting. The press would not be allowed in and the only Admiral who could attend would be Owen Paris, if he choose to greet his son. She had been offer her rank and even a promotion, both of which she declined, she would do this as a private citizen.
When she got back to Harry's they were waiting, Tuvok T'Pel, Harry and Marian--Joe Carey, Sam, Seven and even Naomi. They all stood as she came through the door and when she smiled they sighed collectively. The celebration was immediate and loud. They had a few hours to kill, before they were due back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was quiet as usual in the darkened building. Chakotay was just drifting off to sleep when his door opened. He sat up startled.
"Chakotay?"
"Yes."
"Get dressed you are leaving here."
"Why--where am I being taken?"
"I have orders only to deliver you and your belonging to the shuttle bay, quickly."
He dressed and gathered the few meager thing he had. He followed the guard to the shuttle bay--a building hehad never even see before. Once inside he was scanned and approved for transport, he boarded the shuttle. He couldn't believe his eyes.
"B'Ella?" He rushed to her side. 'My god B'Ella is that really you?"
"Yes, Oh god it's good to see you--look." She pointed around the shuttle, they were all there--- all the Maquis.
"What's going on?" He received nods and pats all around, but no one knew the answer.
"Maybe their gonna dump us off in the ocean or something." B'Elanna laughed, but she wasn't too sure it wasn't true.
A Guard entered and ordered them to prepare for lift off. Once they were in the air the guard seemed to relax, she stood and addressed the group.
"Attention--could I have your attention?." They all looked up in surprise, not being accustom to being asked. "Please." She smiled. "It is my duty and my honor to inform you that you have just received full pardons and will be released upon return to Starfleet Headquarters tonight, where you families are now waiting." She looked at the stunned faced and laughed. "Don't you want to go home?"
A cheer went up and people smiled and speculated, but they were maquis and naturally suspicious of any thing fleet. They would wait and see.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They were waiting when the first transport occurred. All the families, well most --Owen wasn't there, but she really didn't expect him. They were up front, Kathryn, Harry, Tuvok, Sam, Joe, Seven and Naomi. T'Pel and Marian waited in another area, they didn't want to be in the way. They heard the transporter wine and the whole crowd turned to face it silently. Only one person, Tom Paris materialized, a little unsure, but happy.
"Tom." Kathryn called out and he looked to see them all waiting. "Tom, god- it's good to see you." She stepped forward and hugged him.
"Captain."
"Kathryn, Tom--just Kathryn." She stepped back and Tom was mobbed by the others.
"God this all happened so fast--how? The others?" Tom had other questions, but he waited.
"The others will be here soon--it's a long story. We'll talk later." He nodded and looked through the crowd. "Tom you and B'Elanna will come home with me--get settled."
"B'Elanna is she coming?"
"Yes, everyone will be here by midnight." She smiled. "I have some one at my house who wants to get reacquainted with her daddy."
"Lanna--You have Lanna?" He had tears in his eyes.
"Yes, she's been with me the whole time--she's great." He was hugging her again when the transporter whined. Kathryn stepped back and turned him around.
B'Elanna stood with tears in her eyes, Tom rushed over to her. Others had transported with her and now the crowd was pushing and hugging, crying and calling names. Kathryn looked around, she didn't see him. The transporter whined a final time and he stood on the pad. She tried to work her way over, but people kept hugging her and crying, when she reached the pad he was gone.
She worked her way through the crowd to her little group but he wasn't there. She looked around and then someone tapped her shoulder. She turned hoping to see him, but it was Harry.
"He went down the hall." He pointed to a darkened passage.
"Thanks."
She hurried down guessing at where he might have gone. She turned the corner and there he was outside the lift. She tried to say something -- call out to him, but no words came out, so she stepped up and touched his shoulder. He spun around fire in his eyes, hands automatically in a defensive position. He looked down at watery blue eyes, as silent tears slid down her cheeks. She reached up to touch his face, he flinched and she pulled back. She locked her eyes with his, searching his face, there was so much pain. She reached out again and he didn't move.
"What have they done to you?" It was a hoarse whisper, he didn't respond. "I love you." He held her eyes but still said nothing. "Chakotay, what is it?" There was a struggle going on --a war with in him--she didn't understand.
"Why--why didn't I hear from you?"
"I wrote--letter after letter--I sent them." She looked on helplessly as he tried to understand.
"I never heard--they said you didn't--that you- god so many things, I don't understand."
"Chakotay--I don't know what they told you--why you never got my letters--we'll sort it out, later." she took his hand. "Come home with me."
"I don't know where I was going--just going, I guess." He nodded. "The others?"
"Tom and B'Elanna are coming home with us tonight--Lanna is there. The others will be by tomorrow." She smiled "we have so much to say I don't know where to start. Come, we'll sort it out at home."
They walked back to the others. He was greeted by hugs and kisses and finally everyone calmed down. It was the middle of the night and time to go home, the would all visit over the next few days. The four of them transported back to the shuttle bay and headed home to the farm house.
It was late when they got there--or maybe it was early--it didn't matter. They found Phoebe waiting in the living room. She greeted everyone, then made a quick exit to get home to her own family. They were beginning to settle down when Kathryn heard a noise. She hurried up the stairs only to return in a few minutes accompanied by a small girl, with big brown eyes, blond curls and slightly noticeable ridges on her forehead. She was holding on to Kathryn with one hand and a holoimage in the other.
"Kay?" She looked up at Kathryn and at the image.
"It's OK honey, go ahead"
She slowly walked to where they were sitting. Neither could move, they watched wordlessly as their daughter compared them to the image in her hand. All four adults were crying but the time Lanna reached out to touch them.
"Mama--dada" She looked at the image again them put one hand on each of them.
B'Elanna slowly bent to kiss the child, not wanting to frighten her, but Lanna had other ideas. She reached her little arms around her mother's neck and hung on. B'Elanna hugged her and Tom hugged them both. They were laughing and crying and hugging and kissing, Lanna wiped the tears from her mothers face, gently running tiny fingers along the ridges on her forehead.
Kathryn went into the kitchen and Chakotay followed--wanting to give them some privacy.
"Would you like some tea?"
"Sure" He sat at the table.
"Two cups Vulcan spice tea, one with sugar." She joined him.
"I'm sorry, this probably isn't what you expected. I'm very confused. I don't know what is real and what they made up and..."
"It's OK--I know it must have been very difficult. We have time to sort it out"
"I would guess you didn't have it so easy yourself."
"I did OK--Harry helped-- I had Lanna and .."
"And?"
"Chakotay--I --I have something to show you." She held out her hand and he took it.
He followed her up the back stairs to the second floor. They went down a hallway to a small room lit only by the dimmest of light. She put her finger to her lips and went in. There was a crib in the room and his heart filled with fear--had they been right? Did Kathryn have a child?" They tiptoed across the room, but they needn't have bothered. As soon as they reached the crib, the child raised his head and smiled.
Chakotay, stood still trying to swallow the panic. The child look to be nine or ten months old--but he couldn't be. He quickly did the math, they were on Voyager eighteen months ago--the child must be younger. She looked at Kathryn as she smiled down at the child and he reached for her.
"Chakotay." She picked up the child and turned toward him. "I would like you to meet, Edward Kolopak Chakotay." She looked up at his puzzled face "I know it's a shock, but this is our son."
"Our--can't--Kathryn?" His mind raced-they were on Voyager--
"Kole--this is your daddy." She waited.
He didn't believe this--looking at her he couldn't not believe it. He looked at the child she held. His dark skin, thick black hair --he might be looking at a smaller version of himself--except for the eyes--Kathryn's blue eyes.
"May I --may I hold him?" He took the child from her. He studied the tiny face, he could not look at this child and deny him, he held him close and Kole pulled his hair. "Ouch." He pulled his head back and smiled at the child. "Kathryn?"
"I know--I couldn't believe it myself at first" She laughed. "It sort of grew on me."
He looked at her a long time and then back at the child. The things they said flooded his mind, he hadn't wanted to believe--but he was alone for so long--no word--only what they said. He looked a the child again. Kole grabbed his nose and pulled. He heard Kathryn laugh.
"May I bring him downstairs?"
"Of course--he's your son--you may take him where ever you like." She touched his arm. "Just let me change him first." She reached to take the baby.
"No, let me. I'll change him and bring him down." He looked at her, she smiled and raised and eyebrow.
"OK, I'll be down stairs--everything you need is over there." He nodded and she left them alone.
She went back to the kitchen and reheated her tea. This was not the reunion she had planned--she wondered what terrible things they had told him. She wondered where they went from here--they had time. He had hugged and kissed everyone at HQ --he hadn't even touched her. When she kissed his cheek and took his hand, he didn't resist, but her offered nothing. It was good to see him with Kole, the picture in her mind made her smile, warmed her.
He carried the baby across the room, gathered up everything he thought he needed and put Kole on the dressing table. It had been a long time since he was this close to a baby--he had never changed one.
"Kole, my man." He laughed at the innocent smile as the crystal blue eyes watched him. " Be patient--your father--" He considered the word. "Your father has never done this before. I'm sure we can figure it out." Kole grabbed his nose. "Come on now--give me a break here." Kole laughed and Chakotay couldn't help but laugh too.
He wrestled with it for a few minutes, but in the end he held a clean dry baby and was pretty satisfied with his work.
She heard him talking to Kole, as they came out of the bedroom. She couldn't make out the words but it was warm and sweet. He was still talking as he came down the stairs and into the kitchen. She looked up and saw the love shining from his face as he spoke--Kole had him.
"Now your mommy." He glanced at her. "She thinks she can do everything better---she probably can, but don't tell her I said so.." He sat at the table.
"Careful." She placed a fresh cup of tea just out of Kole's reach. "He will grab anything."
"Yeah, I know--my nose, my ear, my hair and a few tiny fingers in my eye." He chuckled. "He's a very tactile person--just like mommy."
"Stubborn like her too--but he has daddy's dimples." She smiled as she watched them.
"You did this alone.." When he looked up there was sadness.
"You did help." She wanted to ease this pain she saw.
"I mean--I wasn't here--I wish I was---I should have been.."
"It wasn't your fault."
"I should have been here for you--and I feel like I missed so much."
"We can't get that time back--but.." She reached across and put her hand over his. "We can go forward----can't we?"
"I'd like that---I'm confused--emotions jumbled up..."
"It's OK--we'll work it out. I don't know what they said--what they did-but, we will work it out--if you want to -----together."
"Together." He nodded.
Their attention was drawn by the sound of little running feet. Lanna burst into the room, Tom and B'Elanna hot on her trail. They both stopped in the door way, taking in the scene before them. Lanna ran up to the baby.
"KO" He reached for her hair, but she was faster and grabbed his hand. "No, KO" He smiled and she giggled.
Tom came forward and squatted next to Lanna. "Who have we here?"
"KO." She said as if everyone should know.
"Tom, B'Elanna." He glanced at Kathryn. "This is Edward Kolopak Chakotay--my son-our son."
"KO." Lanna said indignantly, hands on hips.
"Yes, Kole." He smiled down at her.
B'Elanna came forward and took the baby, she was crying again as she looked at them all and hugged Kole. Lanna, not one to miss out, climbed into Chakotay's lap and began to trace the lines on his forehead.
"She has a thing about that." Kathryn laughed. "She touches everyone's forehead---I think she likes yours. Can I get you two anything?"
"Actually--it's been a long day.." Tom stood up next to B'Elanna. "Kathryn this kid is a knock out--with a little help from Uncle Tom..."
"Stay away from my son--" Kathryn warned.
"God this had been an amazing day---congratulation guys." B'Elanna kissed each of their cheeks and reluctantly gave Kathryn back the baby. "I'm sure this will all register better after some sleep."
"Sure, let me show you to your room."
"What about them---will they sleep?"
"Oh yeah, they go right back to bed." Kathryn turned to Lanna. "Lanna kiss everyone good night-it's time to go back to bed----they will all be here in the morning."
Lanna kissed everyone and reported to Kathryn's side to return to bed.
"Captain's orders?" Tom grinned at her.
"Somethings just don't go away, come on"
She led the group up stairs, Chakotay took Kole back to his room and they put Lanna back to bed. After showing B'Elanna and Tom to their room, she stood in the doorway watching him. He leaned over the crib, he was humming something and patting Kole's back---they were both very content.
He stayed with Kole until he was asleep and watched him a few minutes more. Kathryn was no where in sight when he came out so he went in search of her. He found her in the next room, sitting on the bed brushing her hair. He stood quietly and watched until she noticed him.
"Hi, Kole asleep?"
"Yeah." He stayed in the doorway.
"You can come in." She smiled and hesitated. "You can stay here or if you prefer there is another room across from Kole's" She could see he was unsure. "Come and sit, talk to me or are you too tired."
"It has been a long day---eventful" He came in and sat next to her. "I--I'm feeling a little strange here.."
"Me too." She turned toward him bringing one knee up on the bed. "Gee, I can't imagine why this would be awkward. We spent seven years keeping out distance, one passion filled night--eighteen months ago and haven't see each other since--and to top it all off we have a nine month old son---sounds normal---doesn't it?" She made a face and they laughed together.
"Yeah--for us --it probably is close to normal." He stopped laughing and reached out to touch her face. "Kathryn, I do love you."
"I know." She caught his hand and kissed his fingers. "I love you too."
"There is so much to learn--to catch up on."
"I know and we will--it will look better tomorrow--be easier the day after.." She stood and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "It has been a very long day, we both need to sleep. Will you stay here with me--let me hold you while we sleep?"
"Yes."
The End.