Title: Harm and Mac Songbook: "Love Don't Love Me"

Author: Rising Sun

Rated: PG

Classification: JAG Story/Angst

Summary: Faced with death what will Harm discover about himself? Will he like what he sees?

Disclaimer: JAG characters portrayed belong to JAG, CBS and Paramount Television. No copyright infringement intended. All other characters depicted are purely fictional and any similarities to actual

people are purely coincidental.

Performing in this saga:

"Love Don't Love Me" is sung by Eric Benet off the CD The Brothers and is copyrighted to Warner Brothers

Feedback: Would be nice.

Story Written - 2001

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Hindsight as they say is 20/20 vision. How he ever expected this assignment to unfold without a hitch was beyond him. He always knew that Webb was a pain in the ass, but he Harmon Rabb Jr. in this instance was no better. Any assignment that sent him ANYWHERE and left Mac behind was doomed from the get go.

So where did that leave him? In some God forsaken place with all the odds pointing to his departure from this world before the day was out.

"If you will just wait here a moment Commander, we will ever so grateful." The British accent floated into the room.

Dammed Brits he thought. I am tied up like a sack of potatoes all set for market and gagged ... now where EXACTLY would I be going?

His thoughts floated back to Mac. He always floated back to her. Time and time again. EVERY girlfriend he has had in the past six years usually left him and it was usually over Mac. Was he really that daft? The dress whites and gold wings had got him many places and many things including alone.

It seemed that every time he and Mac were getting into a groove a comfortable groove at that someone or something rocked the boat. That last time on the Ferry was his fault of that there was no doubt in his mind. But was that any reason for the relationship to nose dive like that.

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Time

I still don't know the reason after all this time

I'm all-alone but see it comes as no surprise

It seems like I don't laugh each time that love goes right

Every time

By chance

Somethin' happens every time I get a chance

I feel the rhythm but I just don't know the dance

I want to move with you but something holds me back

Holds me back, yeah

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So as I Harmon David Rabb Jr. prepare to meet my maker it is time to come clean with the man in the mirror. What is it that I really wanted from Mac?

He took a deep breath. I was not easy stripping ones fear of commitment away and having to face reality.

Truth be told all he ever wanted was to have a woman to love and love back. Why was that so difficult to get?

"You gotta give to get." He remembered some CAG saying once.

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All I ever needed I could never find (Mmm, hmm)

All I ever wanted was to get it right (Mmm)

Somebody tell me what is wrong with me

I wasn't sure, but I know now

I believe that it must be (Must be)

Love don't love me (Mmm)

Love don't love me

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He continued the line of thinking... What is wrong with me!

Must be a character flaw. So many women in such a short period of time. Yet I am the one alone ... at least Mac has Mic. The thought brought bile to his mouth.

If it is a character flaw then is there no cure? Of course Mac could cure that ... In fact she probably was the cure. None of the women he had known the biblical sense or not had covered his six the way she had. Her grimaced ... and so you go on assignment without her ... moron.

Truth be told Harm was scared. Not of the present situation ... that he could handle. He was afraid of being alone with no wife no kids no family. I hope I'm not always going to be this way. This is no way for a man to live.

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Oh, I

I know exactly what is missing in my life

Something for sure and something pure it's been awhile

But hon', I'm out the door before the morning light

Every night

So I pray

I'm so afraid I'm always gonna feel this way

Relationships only to pass the time away

Fear of commitment is a habit hard to break

I must say, yeah

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"The question remains counselor what are your going to do?" He chided himself "one ... you are bound and gagged and surely about to face death. Two ... You can't focus on the problem cause of a woman. Three ... A woman might add that could have been yours but who now belongs with another. Get a grip man!"

OK OK he thought I am going mad cause I have begun to talk to myself.

But with nothing else to do he continued to talk to himself. He wished Mac were there she would know how long he had been tied up.

Ok Ok one at a time... number one he took an imaginary gulp ... what I feel for her is more than I have been showing to her, myself or anyone else for that matter.

Silence there was no roll of thunder no flash of lightening ... so what was the big deal? A man loved a woman. Harm loved Mac. "There" He though "I said it and I feel as if burden has been lifted."

Churchill was right all we have to fear is fear itself.

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All I ever wanted was some happiness (Happiness)

Take it to a level that's above the rest (Ho...oh...)

I wanna know how it's supposed to be

I wanna feel something real

But I believe (I believe) that it must be (It must be)

Love don't love me (Love don't love me)

Love don't love me (No, no, it don't love me)

Someone teach my heart to fall in love again

That all I have to fear is fear itself

I know that I was born to love one woman

But why must I keep runnin' through the race, oh...

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A tear rolled down his cheek. Mac! Oh Mac!

She was the one. Harm supposed that impending death has that effect of cutting to t he chase that is. Of the number of missions he had been on death has been an element but never a factor until today.

Now that he was forced to look in the mirror he saw what all men feared... what he feared. He had found his mate and lost her by his own clumsiness. They were in the military SO WHAT!!

He had been born to love one woman and that was Mac. The reason he breathed was Mac. Maybe the reason he still breathed was Mac.

The door opened. It was time.

Harm was ready to die, he may not have accomplished all that he wanted to do in this life but he had found his way to the other half of his soul. He was content.

His heart pumped out a message "From my heart to yours Mac ... I love you."

His eyes focused and saw Webb kneeling next to him about to cut his bonds.

THE END