The Manifesto Of Steven Jackson

"I do not consider myself a complicated man. I am just a man with many complicated things which make up the parts of me."

I said this statement in my first video project I created five years ago and it is a statement I adhere to deeply. There are many parts to me as a human being. I am gay. I am male. I am part of a small family with many different roots. I am a filmmaker. I am a writer. I am a thinker. I am a feeler. I am connected to many people throughout this world. I am a person who strives to keep an inner self. I am spiritual. I am emotional. I am sensitive. I am outspoken, soft with voice and loud with emphasis. I am a child. I am a friend. I am short in stature. I am big in heart.

I see the world as one big challenge. If something is easy to do, then make it harder and make it more worthwhile. I remember my high school English teacher telling me that I would fail if I tried to make the film project I wanted to do. To me, failure is never an option and when told that something is too hard or too difficult or beyond my capabilities, I tend to turn off my hearing and do it anyway.

Everything in life has a personal stake. To me, there is no point in making something if there is no attachment to what I'm doing. I constantly see people make something and when asked what it means to them, they have no answer. I always ask myself before I make something, before a single ounce of effort is put into a work, "why me?". I sit a while by myself and think about the project. When I come back, I have two responses. One response is myself saying, "I don't know. I won't make the project then." The second response is "This is the part of me that rests in the project. I have to do it or I won't feel complete. I must do it or I am a failure."

I believe in honesty and truth when that honesty and truth are needed. If the truth hurts someone, I weigh the pros and cons and decide whether the truth is worth the cost. My coming out has been a big challenge to that. Being honest about myself has been worth the cost in some ways and to some people. In other ways, it has not. Has this honesty about my life been worth the cost in the grand scheme of things? Indeed. No one person can be an honest individual to others if they are not first honest to themselves. I used to think very poorly about many people in my youth for whom did understand me. In truth, how could they understand me if I could not understand myself first?

Life is made up of a combination of emotions and intellect, but the two ideas are never the same. Intellect is the knowledge of knowing. Emotion is the knowledge of understanding. When I meet someone, I may know them, but not understand them or I may understand them, but do not know them. It is when one understands and knows at the same time that life is truly known. I seek this in every relationship I come across; sometimes I am successful, sometimes not, but never have I come out of the experience without experience.

If there were one word I would use to describe myself, it would be "simple". I want the things in life, which not necessarily come easily, but are simple to understand when you look at them. I want to love and be loved. I want to feel the emotions of others and have them feel mine. I want to enjoy life and let life enjoy me. I want to be remembered and remember others. I want to find happiness and be happiness for someone else. I want to explore the world and have it explore me right back. In essence, we are given such little time to create something, but in the end, it only the creating of something that matters.

I dream. I dream a lot. I was once criticized for being a dreamer and it was a hard piece to take. I believe the dream a person has, whether it be the career in the future, the love of another or the simple flight of fancy that often exists, is completely essential. To me, a dream is a sign of hope, a simple view into a world of a person who strives to become a better person everyday. When one dream is completed, another is realized and sought after. In essence, dreams are things that only help us move on to the next challenge in life.

Life is about the abundance of passion and passion comes from a person with a full heart. Sometimes I hear people say how boring life can be, but there is nothing boring about it at all. It is the passion of seeing beauty in everything around me that moves me to search for the best in life. I truly believe I deserve to find this in my life. Nothing or no one is "out of my league" and never will be. Everything is beautiful and attainable. For me, passion is the most important feeling a person can experience. It is the feeling that we see the potential and wonder in everything around us and it is the feeling that moves us to become the best people we can become. If we don't find passion in what we do, we must then search for a passion that will satisfy us.

Life is not complicated. We make life complicated. Leave stress at the door. Let the feeling of freedom sour through your veins. Never forget to have fun at whatever you do. These are lessons to live by. When all is said and done in this world, I will be remembered for the person I am and that person will be me. Period.