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Subject: alt.tv.profiler FAQ
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# FAQ version: 1.1 (Orig. Version 1.0)

# FAQ currently maintained by: Nicholas Knight
Known contact addresses: (VCTF Security note: This address updated 01/08/01) jack_o_trades@bigfoot.com

Source site address: www.geocities.com/jackotrades

 

# INDEX:

INTRODUCTION

UPDATE

GREETINGS

1.) Where has the old profiler Ally Walker, A.K.A. Samantha 'Sam' Waters, gone?

2.) I've caught the last three minutes of one episode of the show, and liked it. Now, what exactly is Profiler?

(2a.) What is a Profiler? As in the job, not the show.

(3.) Can you give me a brief history of Profiler?

(4.) What about actors? Who plays who?

(5.) I'm confused. I've seen references to characters I can't seem to find in the show. Help?

(6.) Ground me. Where is Profiler now? Am I watching old episodes? Has Profiler been canceled? Where can I see 'Profiler' in my country?

(7.) I also like 'the Pretender'. I have seen characters from that show in Profiler. What's going on?

(8.) I keep hearing references to 'network changes' and Profiler really being 'two separate shows'. Again I beg for help.

(9.) Who or what is 'Jack', or 'Jack of all Trades'? Are they the same thing? Is it a person? What happened to him?

(10.) I heard Traci Lords, the 'exotic art film' star played Jack's Jill in Profiler. Is this true?

(11.) Please, just straighten out in my head once & for all the whole Sam/Jack thing.

(12.) Who or what is NBC? (for non-US residents) And what sort of drugs are they on?

(13.) I really like this or that character, and the show, and wish to see all the old episodes with them in it, and learn their history, and the shows history? Where can I find an episode guide and a mountain of other useful information?

(14.) Where can I get a taped copy of a past Profiler epsiode/s?

(15.) Who's responsible for the title theme of 'Profiler', and can I buy it or the like on C.D.?

(16.) Can I get the Profiler theme tune on my 'Nokia'?

(17.) I have read your FAQ and found it very helpful. Now, surprise me with an interesting tidbit of information about Profiler, preferably something to do with Goldie Hawn.

# INTRODUCTION:

If there's one thing Profiler generates, it's confusion. This is an attempt to answer those many questions people post to the newsgroup, and more accurately, an answer to those questions I had a hard time finding answers to when I was confused. Firstly, a couple of weeks before this FAQ was released, the Season Four finale had just aired, and then Profiler was canceled by NBC. However, this FAQ is still needed and relevant, as at time of writing Profiler is being re-run in the USA, and England, and any number of other countries around the world, and will continue to be re-run all around the world for many years to come, as all good television shows are, and people will undoubtedly have questions. In the hopes that it will be useful, we begin the FAQ. All comments to above e-mail address. Enjoy!
 

# UPDATE:

It's been three months and just a little over five hundred visitors so I've decided it's a good time for an update. Welcome to version 1.1! The following has been updated:

Inserted this section. Duh! Made a slight addition to the 'What's a Profiler' section. Added A Martinez and Tom Everett (Casper) to the Cast List of Season One. They should've been there from the start! Added Dennis Christopher to Season Three cast list. Another left-out. Added a bit about Casper and where he got his name to (5.). Added 'Where is Profiler showing near you?' question as planned in version 1.1. Corrected two errors in the 'Jack' section, concerning the origin of Jack's name, and when DC's name first appeared in the credits. Removed hideous ASCII timeline thing from (11.) and replaced it with a groovy table. Re-wrote (14.). Re-wrote and corrected a number of errors in (15.), and added the updated info. In the form of another no-less-groovy table. Added new (16.). (Former 16 promoted to 17.)

I should mention that most of the above errors where pointed out by Aino Pellonperä, my thanks to him and his eyeballs. Let's hope he never starts working for the IRS...

Next Update:

Will add comment box.

Will add list of Jack's abilities, for posterity.

Will add download link to text version.

# GREETINGS TO:

Vicky Neufeld (and Soda et Clyde), Zarah for her website and all it's Jack 'memorabilia', Mr Grrr Argh, Aino Pellonperä, Dennis Christopher for Jack, Ally Walker for Sam, Cynthia Saunders who created Profiler and Profilerians everywhere.

First, logical order must be put aside to answer the 'big' question.

# 1.) Where has the old profiler Ally Walker, A.K.A. Samantha 'Sam' Waters, gone?

A.) Ally Walker left the show after the third season, (i.e.: In the first episode of the Fourth Season). Many reasons have been stated as to why exactly she left. One of the most common is that Ally was unhappy with the scripts she was receiving after the new producers and writers took over [see (8.)], and decided she didn't want to play the character of Sam any longer. (I.E.: Ally saw the way the network winds were blowing, and decided it was time for a sharp exit... clever Ally. )

Another common reason, put forth by Ally herself, was that she was unhappy with the show's 'darkness'. This seems an accurate and true reason, as Profiler in it's hey day was very dark, and Ally Walker seems to be a more humour-oriented person. Either way, Ally left because she felt it was time to move on. We miss her. In Profiler-land however, Sam was kidnapped by 'Jack' [see (9.)], and after that, 'Jack' managed to get access to her daughter, Chloe, posing as a psychiatrist, and manipulated her mind to believe that Sam was directly responsible for her father's (Sam's husband Tom) death. This was the last straw for Sam, who shot Jack in the beginning of Season Four , in perhaps less than legal circumstances. After some legal red tape with Internal Affairs she retired from the FBI, to get away from Jack, Tom's death, the VCTF and her old dark life.

For more on the conclusion of the Sam/Jack thing, or if the last episode you've seen is the Season Two finale, (or the Season Three premiere), and are sufficiently curious/confused, see (11.) .

# (2.) I've caught the last three minutes of one episode of the show, and liked it. Now, what exactly is Profiler?

A.) Profiler centers around the VCTF, (Violent Crimes Task Force) a special division of the FBI set up to apprehend America's most Violent Criminals, the maddest and the baddest. These fall usually into the category of serial killers, though there have been serial arsonists, bombers and rapists. The story each week centers not only around the members of the team doing their job and catching the killer, but also around their personal lives and how they interact with each other. The team is headed by Bailey Malone, a former criminal profiler, [see (2a.) below] however he is not the title 'profiler' in question. Now here's where it gets tricky, as there have been two Profilers.

In the beginning, there was Samantha Waters, a criminal profiler which an uncanny gift to profile criminals by picturing their actions, 'thinking in images' as she herself put it. However, she is not necessarily 'psychic' as some t.v guides the world over have described her. She is the lead role, the star if you will, and she and the other members of the VCTF captured criminals successfully for three seasons, except for Jack Of All Trades [see (9.) ], until Samantha Waters left. [see (1.) ] Now she has been replaced, nay, her position has been filled, by another profiler, Rachel Burke. Rachel is a different character, not an actress taking over the role of Samantha. They pursued serial killers for another whole Season, before Profiler's cancellation. [see (6.) ]

# (2a.) What is a Profiler? As in the job, not the show.

(A.) A Criminal Profiler is someone who profiles criminals, basically building an understanding of how the criminals mind works, based on their behavior, and discovering any patterns in their activities which could be used to predict their behaviour, which can be very helpful for the authorities trying to capture them. They are not psychics.

Criminal Profiling, more commonly known as 'Behavioural Science', was pioneered by Former FBI Agent John Douglas, when he was still attached to the Bureau. His book 'MindHunter' tells this tale, and is a great insight for both regular Profilerians who want a dose of reality and those interested in pursuing this type of career.

For those hoping to catch serial killers as a profession, www.serialkillers.net has a ton of information on the subject. Check out their weekly profiling 'booklist'. Though don't go into this career expecting to catch a killer every week. The FBI has never actually caught a serial killer. You might have better luck as a Cop/Detective/Profiler. But a degree in Criminal Psychology is the first step.

Good Luck!

# (3.) Can you give me a brief history of Profiler?

(A.) One shall try. In the beautiful United States of America, on Saturday September 21st, 1996, the pilot [first ever] episode of NBC's new stylish thriller 'Profiler' aired, naturally, on NBC television, as part of it's new Saturday night line-up known as the 'Thrillogy'. One week later, all over Europe, the same pilot was aired on NBC's european sister channel, NBC Europe. [The existence of this channel has gone unbeknownst to almost all Americans to this very day... ] In America, [at a pleasant one-week delay] and Europe, episode after episode was screened, introducing us to and including us in the less-than-perfect lives of it's characters; the members of the VCTF, their families, and the weekly screwed-up serial killer.

Though the characters were wonderful, the first thing that attracted me [And, I presume, the majority of people] to 'Profiler' was the style; dark, moody and post-modern, just take a look at the starting credits of any season for a perfect example. Then, people continued watching through interest of the lives of the characters. Basically, they came for the style, and stayed for the people.

Profiler continued for two happy seasons, until just after the season two finale, when disaster struck, in a couple of ways: In America, Profiler's ownership and production changed hands, and the new producers and writers, unable to emulate the dark grim-reality style that had been 'Profiler''s uniqueness, ruined the series forever, though it continued for two more seasons. [More on the changeover in (8.), and season guides in (6.) ]

In Europe, the disaster came in a worse form, as NBC Europe/Super channel, previously available in 44 countries, was stripped down to being available in just a few, leaving most of Europe hanging on the Season Two cliffhanger. So America watched a fractured Profiler while most of Europe watched none at all, and then, after the Season Four finale, the end came. [See (6.)]

# (4.) What about actors? Who plays who?

(A.) This, firstly, should be read in conjunction with (5.) , and if this answer raises more questions then see (5.). For now though, some handy charts:

If you want a simpler way to identify which Season you're watching, here goes:

If the Profiler is a tall blonde woman named Sam, and there is a an African-American guy named Nathan, and Jack Of All Trades is terrorizing the VCTF, you're probably watching something from Season One.

If the above is true, only the African-American guy is called Marcus, and Jack Of All Trades has a blonde girl accompanying him in his terrorizing, then you're probably watching Season Two. This hypothesis can be further backed up if Bailey has been shot, his daughter is on the run, and a guy named 'Coop' is seeing Sam.

If the actor who plays Jack has changed in appearance, and the VCTF is calling him 'Donald Lucas', and Chloe seems to have grown up VERY quickly, welcome to Season Three.

If Sam, Jack, Marcus, Angel and Chloe are nowhere to be seen, and there's a new Profiler called Rachel Burke, you're watching Season Four.
 
 

# (5.) I'm confused. I've seen references to characters I can't seem to find in the show. Help?

(A.) Firstly, a second handy chart:

 

Right. So, there were four original characters left in the end. That's the source of your confusion.

And yes, I could have added more to the 'left 'Profiler'' list. My poor fingers begged me not to.

Why so much 'revolving door' acting? Ask NBC. For my personal speculation and reasoning on the subject of NBC and it's 'unique' way of running things, see (12.) .

The above chart is a rough guide, which was written during early FAQ drafting, before the charts in (4.) were given, and read in conjunction with (4.) you should have no problem figuring out who's who, and who goes where] and when...].

But even with these guides we have not covered everyone that has left the show. We shouldn't forget the [sometimes brilliant & enjoyable] 'occasional' characters that would arrive due to the other characters, such as Chloe's grandparents, Jack's mother, or that CIA guy that has helped out Bailey in the past.

The CIA individual was called 'Casper', (no doubt a writers joke. 'The Friendly Ghost'? 'Ghost' is CIA slang for someone without an identity, or a CIA contract killer. Hmm.) and since I've decided he qualifies as a character I have added him to the Character charts.

Also, let's not include the Pretender's 'Jarod' [see( 7.) ] in the 'CAST WITH PROFILER DURING LAST (EVER) SEASON' section, shall we...

Even then, when one considers that two of the characters mentioned, Jack Of All Trades and Chloe Waters, were played by two different actors each, one realizes just how hectic the set of 'Profiler' must really have been.

The best way to answer your character questions, and indeed all your other 'Profiler' questions, is to watch old episodes. [Make sure you have a copy of this FAQ handy... :-) ]
 
 

# (6.) Ground me. Where is Profiler now? Am I watching old episodes? Has Profiler been canceled? Where can I see 'Profiler' in my country?

(A.) As stated in the INTRODUCTION, there have been four seasons of 'Profiler' made and aired in the United States. As of time of writing, the finale of Season Four had aired just a couple of weeks before release of this document. With this in mind, it is not possible that the episodes you are watching are 'new'.

As also stated in the INTRODUCTION, 'Profiler' in being re-run in America, in syndication, [being televised across many stations other than it's original], so if you live in the land of the free, buy some blank video tapes and tape as much 'Profiler' as you can. You can show it to your children when they're older and you're drunk and say: "See that? That was the best t.v. show in the free world before it was canceled."

I am pleased to report that my "If you live in foreign country, or even the USA for that matter, e-mail me and tell me what country you're in, what channel 'Profiler' is being screened on, and when and I'll see if I can't make up a 'WHERE'S PROFILER SHOWING NEAR YOU?' question. All replies appreciated." request was a moderate success, and I can now offer a meager 'Where's Profiler showing near you?' service. Thanks to all those who sent information, (I can count them on my fingers...) and don't stop now. Happy Hunting;
 
 

USA

BRITAIN - ENGLAND - UK - WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT - WHAT'S WRONG WITH ONE NAME???

IRELAND

GERMANY
 
 

If you must dwell on such depressing matters, 'Profiler' was officially canceled on Day, **/05/00. This means 'Profiler' ran from September 21st 1996, to May **th 2000.

If you aren't currently receiving 'Profiler' in your area, borrow tapes (14.) .

# (7.) I also like 'the Pretender'. I have seen characters from that show in Profiler. What's going on?

(A.) NBC, in it's glorious wisdom, sanctioned the idiocy of the Season Three/Four writers and allowed them to write (and air!) a Profiler/Pretender crossover. Previously an idea confined to the pages of Fanfiction, they actually went ahead and did it.

Sure, it was interesting to see, but you don't actually expect ever to see two shows respective cast's intermingling with each other except in your own head, or, as said, in the pages of a Fanfic. I wouldn't mind, but the Pretender and Profiler are two completely different shows. The line between them is somewhat harder to see now, but think: A division of the FBI set up to catch serial killers, and an empathic (sociopathic?) genius who can take on the mental workings and skills of anyone he cares to be. What the hell have they got in common?

Profiler was a very real show, with a very real feel to it. The details in the show were accurate as regards FBI technique, equipment used, forensics, investigation, the characters and their emotions were realistic. [no happy-ending-think-I'll-be-better-by-next-week stuff]

So was the way the whole thing was shot, mini-movie style, like the X-files. Sure, FBI agents don't exactly lounge around in leather chairs in a marble-encrusted, carpeted work area (more like Mulder's basement - one can't fault the X-files for details..) and the computer graphics on George's VCTF terminal were a little more upscale than your average command-prompt FBI terminal, but that was it.

Now the Pretender, great show, but way lacking in the way of realism. For example, what are those mini-CD things Jarod's life is recorded on? A DVD type thing that size? And don't give me that 'the government has access to sophisticated technology' rap. Regardless of whether they could exist or not, Jarod has his whole life there, right? Do you know how many of them he would have to carry around in reality who claim he has, what, twenty-nine years worth of constant footage on there? He would need a freaking truck, people!

Ahem. I think I'll stop myself there before I get any farther from the point. It should never have happened but it did.

Three times.

Even die hard Pretender/Profiler crossover fans were beginning to get a bit peeved at Jarod's regularity in the show towards the end.

# (8.) I keep hearing references to 'network changes' and Profiler really being 'two separate shows'. Again I beg for help.

(A.) It used to be, in the golden years, that Profiler was produced by Ian Sander and Kim Moses. Then, the hand of evil stepped in, and, just after the Season Two finale, where Jill as just been shot by Sam, and Jack is trapped in the prison, and everyone's expecting Jack to be finally unmasked, the original producers and writing staff left (!), and two new guys, Clifton Campbell and Stephen Kronish took over as producers, bringing their own dopey writers with them.

They took everything that was unique or good away from the show, abandoned plot completely, lost a few character in the process with NO explanations to where they went, threw logic out the window, and took away the shows darkness, right down to the freaking set lighting. (much brighter post-Kronish)

And in case you're wondering, Jack *was* unmasked, (At least, we thought it was Jack's unmasking, just badly screwed up, but it wasn't.) The most exciting thing since the moon landings, what almost every Profiler fan had been waiting to see since the day they started watching, and Kronish and the new writers completely screwed it up!! (Well they didn't technically screw Jack's umasking up, 'cause it wasn't really Jack, but we believed it was, so that it as good as having actually screwed it up.... isn't it?).

 The same actor didn't even play Jack! (But that doesn't matter. Why? because it turns out he wasn't supposed to be Jack at all, but had been brainwashed by Jack to think he was Jack!) Marcus seemed to fall off the face of God's earth and nobody noticed! Jack, the real Jack, escaped from the prison DISGUISED AS BAILEY!?! I mean, what the f... no, now is not the place. To read one of the best rants about the Season Three premiere 'Coronation', go here, and then here. Both are links to "Insight: An Unofficial Profiler page".

# (9.) Who or what is 'Jack', or 'Jack of all Trades'? Are they the same thing? Is it a person? What happened to him?

(A.) Ah, Jack. Where do I begin?

Firstly, Jack, AKA Jack of all Trades, is a serial killer that was present throughout the first three of the four seasons of 'Profiler'. He was as much of a character in the show as the rest of the VCTF team. He didn't just kill people, he was obsessed with Samantha Waters, and many of his killings related to her, (He killed her husband, her lover, and people she knew as a child) and when he wasn't killing he was taunting Sam and the VCTF. Letters, strange messages, leaving her gifts behind, stalking her, taking pictures from afar.

But I am not doing Jack justice. Before I go on, you should know that the Jack in question refers to the Jack of Season's One and Two, the authentic, original and best Jack. Season Three's Jack was... not Jack. In many ways. One being literally. But I digress...

Lets start with a description: Jack is seen usually through an electric-blue haze, when he enters an area on screen for the first time, through a door or whatever, the screen will turn blue, however most of the time Jack is seen busy at work in his lair, or workshop, which is also, presumably, where he lives.

He's got straight, fine, wiry brown hair, sallow smooth skin, a sharp roman nose, and a distinctive mouth, most notably a large & broad (and quite cool-looking) upper lip area, along with a perfectly straight set of teeth, and a devious smile. He usually has a small goatee beard just below his bottom lip.

Apart from that, Jack has some other distinctions. He smokes cigarettes, cigarettes being the nineties's televisual personification of pure evil.

He also has a fascination with roses, yes, the flower. He grows them, long-stemmed roses now that I think of it, and he usually leaves them at the scene of his kills, and he has 'given' Sam roses many times in various ways over the years. Roses symbolize Jack.

Also, (and this one takes me right back to when I watched 'Profiler' in it's first run, and kept pausing the tape on Jack, looking for clues to his identity) Jack has a gold ring on one of his fingers, with (most likely) a horseshoe engraved on the square face, though it could be an upside-down 'omega'.

So do we know everything about Jack? Nope. Are we at the tip of the iceberg? Nope. We can't even see the tip of the iceberg yet, not even with Russian Border-Guard binoculars.

Jack got his name from a reporter, who had qouted Sam as calling him a 'homicidal Jack-of-all-Trades', though she hadn't in reality. The press latched onto the name, and so did Jack.

Jack is highly intelligent. Genius level probably. He is self educated, in everything from great literature to rose-horticulture to computer hacking to breaking and entering to psychology & mind manipulation. In fact, I think I'll add a list of Jack's 'super-powers' in here at a later date.

Not only is Jack high-functioning, but he is very rich as well, most likely family wealth. (His mother lives in a mansion, though he claims her as a dependent on his income tax. Yes, Jack pays income tax. Jack's mother spoke of Jack's father in the past tense, so most likely he is dead and has left Jack in charge of the money.) Jack can buy cars, properties, (he's had trailers full of all his serial-killer stuff on a couple of occassions) disguises, weapons, tools, you name it. Anything his super-powers require.

Jack's motives for killing are a mystery, indeed, I don't think I have ever seen as complex a character as Jack on television anywhere before, or since. And I could go into enormous detail about Jack's psychological makeup, without going into the theories of all the other fans out there, in fact, if I did, this answer alone would be longer even that this whole document is now. There would be a Jack of all Trades FAQ in itself. (Hmmm.... idea.) However, if you're a self-confessed 'Tradester' like me, you need more. Zarah's Profiler page is the best collection of Jack related material anywhere on the web. And Zarah is as big a Tradester as they come. Profiles of Jack, his previous web content*, images, everything. The Tradester's home. Go there.

*Jack put up his own website in 'Venom', the last episode of Season One, which was the best interaction between the Internet and a tv show there has ever been. The webmaster (unknown, probably connected with the show), taking on the role of Jack (he was Jack as far as I'm concerned. He understood him too well to be anything less.), updated the page regularly, depending on the events of the show. If you saw Jack working on his own website in the show, you could see the material he posted moments later on the web, giving a very 'real' feel to the character of Jack. Since Jack died, the site consists of only one page that still floats out there in cyberspace, stating, ironically and eerily, 'Jack is Back'. The URL is: www.jackotrades.com

PS: At the start of 'Otis, California', (Season Three), the name of the actor who played Jack was for the first time listed in the credits, however his charachter name wasn't. It wasn't until 'Las Brisas', (Season Three again) that the first official revelation of Jack's actor was finally made. For the uninitiated, his name is...

Dennis Christopher!

And if you want to see what he, and Jack, look like, go to 'The Dennis Christopher Page'.  (Newly updated! looks nice, Celtic Lady. (Et al...)

R.I.P Jack Of All Trades

# (10.) I heard Traci Lords, the 'exotic art film' star played Jack's Jill in Profiler. Is this true?

(A.) Oh yeah. It's true. Believe me. I recently heard someone describe NBC's casting of Traci as 'window dressing', though this is very unfair. Traci played the part of Jill excellently, her acting ability really shone through.

# (11.) Please, just straighten out in my head once & for all the whole Sam/Jack thing.

(A.) Okay. Handy chart number, um, 6?
 

SEASON NUMBER	FIRST EP. OF SEASON	GENERAL DESCRIPTION OF SEASON	LAST EP. OF SEASON
ONE	Sam joins VCTF. Jack resurfaces from her untelevised past & begins stalking her.	Throughout the first series Jack terrorizes Sam and the VCTF and the public in general.	Jack sets up a web page, kills a rival serial killer and frames Sam for her murder.
TWO	Sam gets off, due to Jack's written confession.	Jack trains his female apprentice and Sam-substitute Jill. She kills Coop during this Season.	Jill is in prison, captured by the VCTF, and jack breaks in (he's cool that way) to kill her. Instead, Sam kills her, and the VCTF lock down the prison with Jack inside. How will he escape? Oooo.
THREE	Jack escapes. Now, careful. That is the last we see of Jack for a while. However, the VCTF don't know this. They find and pursue someone they believe to be Jack. This is FakeJack, AKA Donald Lucas,played by Mark Rolston, whom RealJack has brainwashed into thinking he is the real Jack, so that he could be caught and captured and take the heat off himself for a while. (Confused? Blame Season Three producers.) FakeJack kidnaps a baby to lure Sam to him, meantime she and the VCTF track him down and find out his real identity, which they believe is Jack's real identity. FakeJack is put in jail.	Throughout this Season FakeJack is in jail, awaiting trial, and Sam is trying to go out with the attorney prosecuting FakeJack. (If you ever see Kronish in real life, kill him. I think you can get immunity from prosecution on ethical grounds...) Meantime, RealJack doesn't show up until an episode called 'Otis, California', where he pretends to be a sherrif, (!) and works with the VCTF, (!!) on some murders I think he committed himself. (!!!)	FakeJack confesses all after a look (!) from RealJack, and then RealJack, kidnaps Sam. (Ah, back to normal...) He mentally toys with her while she's in his captivity.
FOUR	Bailey drafts Rachel Burke to find Sam. She does, but not before Sam finds out Jack has been screwing with Chloe's mind, and has turned her against her, and shoots Jack. Sam retires. That's the end of Sam and Jack. Yes, it's okay to cry.	Rachel Burke takes over from Sam. She is honest, decent, hardworking and most of all, law-abiding.	Rachel in jail. :-)

# (12.) Who or what is NBC? (for non-US residents) And what sort of drugs are they on?

(A.) NBC. National Broadcasting Company. (Of America.) Obviously a big American T.V. company. Profiler's original home. They canceled 'Profiler' in exchange for American football. 'Profiler''s actors were in and out of a prime time Saturday night show like Bill Gates is in and out of court. 'Profiler''s entire staff was changed during the show's peak. NBC, & NBC Europe a few years ago, have both, on occassion skipped over an entire episode of 'Profiler' without explanation. All this is unheard of in a efficiently run t.v. company. NBC did the XFL deal for one reason only: money. They need it. NBC is a company in trouble as far as I can tell. My two cents.

If you are against NBC cancelling 'Profiler', drive to their offices and hurl a brick thorugh their windows. (Not all of them. One or two will be sufficient.) Or you could sign the on-line petition at www.sos-shows.8m.com, however I recommend the bricks. More of a political statement.

# (13.) I really like this or that character, and the show, and wish to see all the old episodes with them in it, and learn their history, and the shows history; where can I find an episode guide and a mountain of other useful information?

(A.)  Okay, here are some of my favourite sites for such paraphernalia:

"Insight: An Unofficial Profiler page". Best for screen captures (tons), and miscellaneous info. But the webmaster has stopped updating the page, so episode guides fall short.

"Belladonna's Profiler Page" Good episode guides. Up-to-date too, which is rare.

"Clarabelle's Profiler Page". Good all-round site, photo's, episodes guides, even autograph signatures from the cast.

"Zarah's Profiler page." Best if you're a Jack fan. Cool Profiles of Jack, and a big collection of Jack's previous web content. (see 9. if you haven't already) Only place some of these images are still available.

# (14.) Where can I get a taped copy of a past Profiler epsiode/s?

(A.) You can't. If you have an acquaintance in your country who can supply you with copies more power to ya. But Profiler, unlike the X-Files etc, has never been released officially onto video. Damn. If you're European always keep in mind the differences in video standards between the US, (NCR), and Europe, (PAL). They are not interchangable, and you're American pen-pal's cassettes won't play in your French VCR.

# (15.) Who's responsible for the title theme of 'Profiler', and can I buy it or the like on C.D.?

Angelo Badalamenti is responsible, (bless him), for the main Profiler theme, ie: the theme from the first two Seasons. Badalamenti is THE biggest banana in the industry when it comes to composing theme tunes and t.v./movie music. He's done hundreds of compositions. The original Mission: Impossible theme tune, for example? Yep, that was him. Twin Peaks theme? Him too. Get the idea? He's a big rich genius.

Apart from the theme tune, 'Profiler's' in-show music has been handled by different people through the different seasons. Yes, you've guessed it. A handy chart, lucky number 7, as it happens:
 

ARTIST	SEASON	MORE INFORMATION
Jeff Rona	Season One	http://www.mediaventures.com/htmls/jeffrona_b.html
Wendy Blackstone	Season Two
Danny Lux	Season Three
Danny Lux	Season Four

If you like this style of the theme song as music in it's own right, as I do, I can recommend anything by the the band 'Enigma'. It's very much in the same electronica/orchestral/choir vein. Or, a rummage through mp3.com's ambient section will turn up a wealth of free legal mp3's from up-and-coming artists who specialise in the same style of music.

Sadly, much like the absence of an official video release of Profiler there is also no soundtrack album. Damn them! It's like they hate us and want to bury 'Profiler' forever!!
 

# (16.) Can I get the Profiler theme tune on my 'Nokia'?
 

Yes. Well, actually I wrote an excellently accurate 'Profiler' on my brother's 'Nokia 3210'. i'll post it here as soon as I figure out how...

# (17.) I have read your FAQ and found it very helpful. Now, surprise me with an interesting tidbit of information about Profiler, preferably something to do with Goldie Hawn.

A.) Certainly. It is a strongly held view of the maintainers of this FAQ (me), that a past Goldie Hawn movie was part of the inspiration for Profiler. The film's name was "Deceived", circa 1991, and starred Goldie Hawn. Many things lead me to this conclusion:

a) Just take a look at Goldie Hawn in that film. Remind you of anyone? I mean, there are times when she is the image of Sam. Occasionally, she is dressed the exact same way, with the dark pants and poloneck, and long black coat, even her hair is the exact same, and those big blue eyes. Goldie and Ally have those same eyes.

b) Now, onward. Goldie's character is named Adrienne Saunders. Hmm. Profiler's original creator was Cynthia Saunders. Is there a connection there?

c) Adrienne, like Sam, has lost her husband.

d) Now guess what her husbands name is. No, not Tom. If it was Tom that would be nothing. You can't walk down the street without stepping on a Tom or two. The guy's name is Jack. And guess what? He's not really dead. He faked his own death.

e) And just guess what else she discovers about him... yup. He's a serial killer. Serial killer named Jack? what do you mean it doesn't ring a bell.

f) There's a scene in the film, a close-up of some form (as in Driver's license etc.), with her husbands name on it. Take a look at the handwriting. If that isn't Jack-esque I don't know what is. Exactly like the font used in 'Profiler''s captions, the ones that say, for example, Atlanta, Georgia, in the bottom left hand corner.

That's all I can think of for now as I haven't seen the film in years. Someone told me they have stopped distributing it on video, for some legal reason. But there were any more odd similarities. This is just my opinion, I haven't researched it, but I thought it was worth a mention. So please, if you see it in a video store, rent it, watch it, and e-mail me your opinion, or anything you've found out. These things bother me, as I have a compulsion to know whether one of my hunches has worked out or not. It's a problem.
 
 
 
 

I'll end the FAQ in the hopes that it has helped clear minds. I know that 'Profiler' isn't really dead, because it'll keep being screened. (I found out just fifteen minutes ago at time of writing that Profiler was due to start screeningagain in my own country tomorrow!!) And knowing it's virtual immortality, there will always be new fans, who will trawl the web for information. How many times have you gone and looked for info on 'Miami Vice' or 'Forever Knight' or the 'Red Shoe Diarys' or some other old, obscure or perhaps well-known series and were thankful to find a thriving fan community who answered all your questions? well, that's what this is for. So, like Jack once said,

'Gotta go...,'
'Catch ya lat-er...'