The Worst Thing - Part 1

“Hey, Justin!”  He heard from behind as he made his way to his seat.  Turning around he noticed Rachel making her way toward him.

“I specifically recall somebody telling ME not to be late?” he said smiling when the woman in a long black dress finally made it to their table.

“I’m a woman.  It takes me longer to get ready.” 

He pulled the chair out for the young woman like a perfect gentleman.  “I’m a queer, Rach.  It’s supposed to take me a LOT longer to get ready than you,” he whispered in her ear before finding his own seat at the table and saying hello to the rest of the people from his firm.

He looked around the big hall of the Hyatt, taking in all the lights and the people in bright shiny dresses and tuxedos.  This was a big night for a lot of people here.  But if the buzz around the industry was any indication, it was going to big a huge night for him. 

“Justin, great, you’re already here.”  He looked up to see Gordon Mason, the senior partner, walk up to the table. 

He stood up and shook hands with the man and his wife.

“I can’t tell you how excited we all are about your nomination.”

Justin smiled, again, since that’s all he’d heard for the last month.  Ever since the nominations came out.  Not that he was complaining.  If…no…WHEN he got the award, he would be that much closer to getting the promotion he’s been eyeing for a while now.

The three of them finally settled into their seats and the lights dimmed, revealing their host.

The awards ceremony, of course, lasted forever.  All the presenters and winners trying to sound smarter and funnier than they really were.  And he was so nervous.  Which was silly, because everybody assured him that the award was his.  There was nobody better in the industry.  That was the word on the street. 

He felt a hand on his arm.  Looking up he saw a smiling face of his assistant.  It was time.  He put the glass down and took a deep breath.  Why was he so damn nervous?

“Vanguard Agency is one of the biggest agencies in the country.”

His breath caught in his throat.  Vanguard Agency?

“With clients such as Brown Athletics and Floyd Technologies it’s a household name in the United States and Europe.  Please, welcome, one of its partners, Brian Kinney.”

He was sure his heart skipped a beat.  That was NOT happening.  Not here.  Not tonight.  For four years, FOUR years he did his best to leave his past behind him.  And on what was supposed to be his biggest night it finally caught up with him.

“Nervous?” he heard Gordon ask, but a response was impossible right now.  His throat felt tight, so he just shook his head and turned his attention back to the man that he hasn’t seen in years.

Brian looked stunning in his navy blue suit.  He hadn’t changed one bit.  Which didn’t surprise Justin at all.  Brian hated change, especially when it came to his looks.  He fought it with every fiber in his body.  He was sure Brian would look the same when he was sixty, just because he was Brian Kinney.

“The best graphic designer award is awarded to an individual who throughout the year proved his or her talent, imagination, and ingenuity in advertising by raising the bar for the rest of the industry.”

It was obvious Brian didn’t write THAT copy. 

“And the winner is…”

Justin held his breath, watching his former lover slowly open the envelope, and for the first time in over a month, ever since he found out he was nominated, he wished, no, prayed, that he didn’t win.

He saw the stunned look on Brian’s face as the other man read the name inside the envelope.  He felt Rachel squeeze his arm, but all he could see was Brian’s eyes, as the other man searched the crowd.  Justin knew exactly who he was looking for.  He won.

“Justin Taylor.”

He heard the cheering all around him, but he just couldn’t make himself move or speak.  He could barely make himself breathe. 

“Justin, come on,” he felt Rachel nudge him to get up. 

Somehow he squeezed a smile out of him, standing up and shaking hands with everybody at the table.  Stalling.

Finally, he ran out of people to shake hands with.  So, he took a deep breath and turned around, his eyes immediately meeting Brian’s.  He felt like he was on death row, making his way to the electric chair.  Slowly, he walked up the stairs leading to the stage.  Just don’t freeze, don’t freeze, don’t freeze.  That was all he could think.

He walked up to the taller man, their eyes fixed on each other.  Brian was the first one to snap out of it, holding out the crystal award.  “Congratulations,” Brian said.

Noticing the microphones all around them, Justin took the object in his left hand as the two of them shook hands as it was a custom to do at these things.  It felt like a jolt of electricity ran through him.  Quickly he pulled his hand away.  “Thank you,” he said, then turned to the podium to say his thanks and praise his firm as he no doubt was expected to.

Shortening his speech to just a few lines, he quickly moved off the stage without looking at anything or anybody again. 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Brian following him as he reached the back of the stage.  A bunch of people, most of whom he had never even met before congratulated him.  He nodded, shook hands, smiled, and laughed at their stupid jokes for what seemed like forever.  When he finally got rid of them and looked around, Brian was gone.

~~~***~~~***~~~

Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!  That was all Brian could think.  His brain unable to process anything else at the moment.  Well, that will teach him to at least read a list of nominees before he presented an award.  Or, better yet, NEVER agree to be a presenter at these things ever again.

Justin.  Justin was here.  In the same zip code as him.  For the first time in four years.  Finally he didn’t have to wonder where Justin was, what he looked like, what he was doing, whether he was ok.  And it felt…weird.  It felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.  There were millions of things running through his head and, even after three drinks he had since he came back to his room, he wasn’t able to sort them out.

So what if he hadn’t seen Justin since that night, when the blonde came to his loft and handed him the check for the tuition loan.  Apparently Justin saved all the money he earned from his internship.  And when the young man told him that he got a great job and was leaving town, it was obvious that his little stalker, or ex-stalker, could hardly wait to cut all ties to him.  And when Justin wanted something, he got it.  All the traces of Sunshine ever being there were gone from Liberty Avenue.

Brian was sure that Justin still kept in touch with Debbie and Emmett and probably Lindsay and Melanie, but he’d be damned to ask them where the hell Justin was or how he was doing.  And the others knew better than to mention Justin’s name in Brian’s presence.  For all he knew Justin was…somewhere…on planet Earth.  It killed him not knowing if Justin was ok.  But he’d never admit it to anybody.  Not even himself.  He was able to make it through the day, which was all that really mattered.  And that was fine with him.  Things were exactly as they should have been.  Justin was living his life, doing exactly what he should have been doing all along, without being held back by some damaged, unfeeling asshole.  Brian knew it.  And he learned to live with it.  With this empty feeling inside.  It became a norm for him in those four years. 

Until today.  Until he read the name in the fucking envelope.  Until his eyes found a pair of blue ones in the crowd.  Justin was here.  In the same city.  Same building as he.  And that threw him.  He didn’t know what to do.  What to think.  Or say.  Or feel.   

~~~***~~~***~~~

Justin stared blankly at the award sitting on his desk.  After a round of applause and pats on the back he was finally able to get into his office and take the phony smile off his face.

He knew he should have been focusing on the new campaign.  If they got the account , it would be his biggest one yet.  But his mind was on something else.  SOMEONE else.

“Curt and Larry are here,” Rachel’s voice came over the intercom, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

Justin sighed and pressed the button.  “Ok, let them in.”  He sat up and straightened his jacket.

The door opened and two young men walked in.

“Justin,” Larry nodded.

Justin pointed to two chairs on the other side of his desk.

“I’m meeting with Cooper later today, but I already have some ideas that we can start working on,” Justin started as soon as the other two men sat down.

“Have you looked over my draft?” Curt asked nervously.  Even though Justin wasn’t officially the head of the art department, everybody knew that he had the last word on all things even remotely related to graphic design in the firm.

Justin paused and looked at both of them.  “What the fuck did I just say?” he asked, standing up.  Both guys had a lot of talent, but they only knew graphic design and nothing about advertising. 

“That…that you had some ideas,” Curt stuttered.

Just then Rachel knocked and opened the door.  “Boss, you have a visitor.”

Justin glared at her, not at all happy about being interrupted.  “Who the fuck is it?” he growled at his assistant.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?” Brian walked in with a smirk on his face.  “Missed your morning coffee?”

Justin clenched his jaw, trying hard to bring his breathing back to normal.  Finally, when he was sure that his voice wouldn’t betray him, he turned to the two men who were still staring at him like two lost puppies.  “Rachel has your assignments,” he said, dismissing them.  The two got up, quickly moving out of the office.

As soon as Rachel closed the door Justin turned his attention to his former lover.  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Is this how you greet all your ex-boyfriends?”  Brian strolled in and dropped down into one of the chairs as if it was his own office. 

Justin glared down at him.  “What do you want?  I’ve got a lot of things to do.”  He threw the folder down on the desk and sat down.

“Yeah, I figured, BOSS,” Brian teased.  It was strange thinking of Justin as somebody’s boss. 

Justin gave him an annoyed look.  He wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

“Who would have thought?  Little Justin a big shot in advertising.”

Justin couldn’t decide whether Brian was impressed or being sarcastic.  So, instead he decided to cut to the chase.  “What are you doing in Chicago, Brian?”

Brian frowned.  He wasn’t sure how to deal with this Justin.  “A potential client,” he decided to be honest.

Of course.  He should have known.  It’s always business with Brian.  But then it registered.  ‘Potential client.’  Justin’s eyes widened as he shook his head.  “No fucking way,” he exclaimed, laughing, as he leaned back in his chair.

“What?” Brian asked, curious as to what Justin found so funny.

“You’re going after Wilde’s account, aren’t you?”

“How did you…”  Now it was a turn for Brian’s eyes to widen, “Well, this is…” he tried to find the right word.

“Totally fucked,” Justin concluded, chuckling.

Brian smiled, but failed to see anything funny in this situation.

Smile gone from his face, Justin sat up and looked directly at Brian.  “Look, it’s nice of you to stop by, but I do have…”

“Have dinner with me.”  The words were out before he could stop himself.

Justin was surprised by the invitation.  “What for?  So we can reminisce about how miserable we made each other back then?”

Brian was taken aback but Justin’s words, but now that he put the invitation on the table, he wasn’t going to back down.  “You choose a place.  I pay,” he said, leaning in closer.

Justin studied the other man’s face for any sign of some hidden meaning or agenda.  “Fine.  You like German food?”  The only thing he cared about at the moment was getting Brian out of his office.  And the only way to do that was to just say ‘yes’.

“Sure.”

“There’s an old German restaurant on Adams.  The Berghoff.  Seven?”  Bergoff’s was always packed and the setting was anything but romantic, which is precisely why Justin chose it.

Getting what he came for, Brian stood up and headed for the door.  “Seven it is.”

As soon as the door closed behind Brian, Justin sunk deep into his chair, feeling completely spent.

“You ok, boss?” Rachel asked, popping her head through the door.

Justin ran his hands through his hair and sat up.  “Fine.”

~~~***~~~***~~~

Brian couldn’t believe that he actually showed up on time.  Well, ten minutes earlier.  He figured that sitting in a restaurant full of people would be less nerve wrecking than pacing around his room.  Ten minutes past seven he decided that it was a bad idea, since Justin still hadn’t shown up.  He was ready to get up and leave when the blonde in question flopped down in the chair across from him.

“Didn’t anybody teach you that it’s rude to be late?” Brian couldn’t believe that just came out of his mouth.

Apparently, neither did Justin, because he snickered.  “You taught me to always make an entrance.”

Brian arched his eyebrow.  “Is that what you were trying to do?”

Justin smiled, leaning back in the chair.  Unlike Brian, he looked completely at ease.  “No, actually THAT was just traffic.”

Just then their waiter arrived and they both placed their orders.

“How did you find out about Wilde shopping around?”  Brian asked as soon as the waiter was gone.  “I was told nobody knew about it.”

Justin smiled again.  “Wilde’s a Chicago-based company.  Of course we knew they were shopping.  We know a lot of things.”

“Such as?”

“Such as there are two more firms pitching to them.”

Brian was surprised and it showed on his face.  And he hated it.  Especially under Justin’s constant stare.

“So, let me guess.  You’re here to wine and dine the old fart Wilde and then pitch him images of half-naked men and women selling sex.”  Justin took a sip of his wine.  “Am I right?”

Brian gripped his own glass tightly in his hand, swallowing hard.  “You think you can do better?”

Once again a smile appeared on Justin’s face.  “I KNOW I can.”

Brian was rendered speechless with Justin’s arrogance.  The man in front of him looked and sounded like Justin, but he acted like a complete stranger.  Brian studied Justin’s features, taking in the changes in the young man’s face.  The squarer jaw.  More defined cheekbones.  The dark blue eyes.  The blonde hair that has gotten a little darker, making Justin looked more mature than the last time he saw him.  Justin looked less like a teenage boy and more like a man.  A beautiful man.  A man he didn’t know.

“What makes you so sure?  I’m the best idea man out there,” Brian finally said.

“I’m the best artist in the industry.”  The award Justin received only a night before was proof of that.  Not that Brian needed proof.  He knew all too well his ex-lover’s abilities.  “And WHEN I get this account I’ll officially become the youngest director of the art department in the history of the firm.”

Brian admitted that Justin had every right to brag.  “That’s great.”  But he wasn’t about to back down.  “Too bad you won’t get this account.”

Justin cocked his eyebrow.  “I say I will.”

“Care to put a wager on that?” Brian asked, tongue in cheek.

“Name your terms,” Justin replied, amused.

Brian sat up in his seat, considering the bet.  This was not about the money.  Both men knew it.  There was only one thing they both had and both wanted.  “If I win, I fuck you.  If you win, you fuck me.”

Justin stared at Brian for a moment, his face void of any emotion.  Then he leaned in closer, his face only inches from Brian’s.  “I don’t fuck my competition, Brian.”  He smirked.  “At least not in bed.” 

He got up just as the waiter brought over their food.

“Enjoy the duck,” he said before walking away.

Brian clenched his jaw as he watched Justin make his way through the room toward the exit, completely astounded by Justin’s behavior.

Making up his mind, Brian took out his phone and dialed the number.  “Get me Vance pronto.”

~~~***~~~***~~~

Justin got in his car and took out his cell.  “Rach, I need you to set a meeting with Mason first thing tomorrow morning.”  He hung up the phone and drove his Lexus home.  He had a long night ahead of him.

Go to Part 2

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