The Wish - Part 6
Justin sighed as he opened the door to his house. He had the day from hell with Chris Hobbs and his friends picking on him on top of having two tests. He walked in through the doorway, closed the door behind him, and headed to the kitchen.
That was his everyday routine for the past two weeks. Get home after school, grab something to eat, give his mother one-word answers, and lock himself in his room for the rest of the day doing his homework or drawing. His art was his only escape now.
After giving his patented ‘fine’ to his mother when she asked him a bunch of questions about school, Justin walked up the stairs and into his room. He dropped the backpack on the floor and then flopped down on his bed. All he wanted right now was to get away from this place as far as he possibly could. This house…the one that he grew up in…his home…was like a prison to him. The walls were closing in and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Justin was startled when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his jacket. It was Caleb. Again. Justin had been blowing him off since the day he came back home. He talked to him a couple of times, telling him that he was busy with school. He didn’t know what else to tell to the other man. Pressing the off button, Justin threw the phone on the desk and then pulled out his Calculus book.
Almost four hours later he finally closed his history book and threw it back into his backpack. He was done with his homework for tonight. It was a little after eight and all he wanted was to get out of here. He hated this place now: this room, this bed, everything here.
~~~
He stood by the bar at Babylon, drinking his second beer and watching the crowd on the dance floor. Somehow he actually managed to get out of the maximum security prison he called home. His father wasn’t home yet and when he told his mother that he was going over to Daphne’s, she just gave him a look that said, ‘I know.’
The only thing he wanted right now was to forget about school and his homophobic classmates, his parents and the fucking rules. Everything. He wanted to forget everything. He just wanted to unwind and for just a little while feel something other than this hopelessness and anger. That’s what he felt. Anger. All the time. He was angry at his teachers. He was angry at his classmates. He was angry at his parents. But most of all…he was angry at himself. And that made him even angrier.
He noticed the guy that had been cruising him all night walk toward him. This was just what the doctor ordered, he thought, making himself smile for the stranger. Only a few minutes later they were in full make out mode. Finally, pulling away, Justin grabbed the trick’s hand and pulled him toward the backroom. He stopped cold when he saw Caleb standing in the entrance, staring at him. He looked like somebody just punched him. Kevin looked like he was ready to kick the shit out of Justin. And Nicholas just had this disappointed look on his face. Justin felt like he couldn’t deal with them right now. He couldn’t deal with anything right now. ‘Fuck ‘em,’ he thought as he pulled the other guy after him into the backroom.
~~~
When he finally came left the backroom, Justin headed straight for the bar. He needed another drink badly. While fucking the trick felt good at the time, as soon as he was done he felt even shittier.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Justin turned to the right. Nicholas was standing next to him.
“Drinking beer. What the fuck does it look like?” He wasn’t in a mood for a lecture.
“Fucking everything that moves won’t make your problems go away.”
Justin scoffed, “You think just ‘cause you’re a few years older than me you know everything? You don’t know shit about my problems.”
Nicholas sighed, “Look, Caleb really cares about you.”
Justin looked away, not saying anything.
“Caleb’s a great guy. You’d be stupid not to give it a try.”
Justin was tired of everybody telling him what to do. He looked back up at Nick with anger in his eyes. “The only reason you want me with Caleb is because I keep him busy and away from Kevin.”
Nick took a step back, “You really are in a destructive mode, huh? Believe me, Justin. You don’t wanna burn this bridge.” With that he left.
~~~
Justin walked out of school and down the stairs. He was almost at the bottom when he saw Caleb across the street, leaning on his car. Justin stopped for a moment, trying to decide what to do. He had no choice. He knew he couldn’t avoid this conversation forever. He took a deep breath and crossed the street.
They stood next to each other, silent for a moment. Justin felt like he should say something, but everything that he could come up with sounded completely stupid.
“I’m sorry…about last night,” he finally said, making himself look up at Caleb.
“Justin, what’s going on? I mean, you avoid me for two weeks. You don’t return my calls. Then…that guy. What’s going on?”
Justin looked down, finding his shoes incredibly fascinating at that moment. He sighed. “I don’t…” he looked up at him. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Do what?”
“This…us…I can’t. I have too many things going on in my life. And I have to focus on school and my art. All I care about is graduating and getting the hell out of here.” He sounded harsh, harsher than he meant to. But he had to make the other man walk away from him. He hated the look on Caleb’s face. He did not want to hurt him. He never wanted to hurt him. But he didn’t know what else to do.
Justin started to leave, but Caleb grabbed his arm. “Justin, what did your father do to you?”
Justin looked at him, wanting more than anything to tell him and then to find comfort in his arms. But he knew he couldn’t. “I have to go,” was all that he said, pulling his arm away from Caleb’s. Then turned around and walked away.
~~~
Brian found it amusing that Michael was actually listening to a fortune teller.
“That wasn’t the question. And frankly, he’s a bad bet,” he heard Mysterious Marilyn say as he walked up to them. “Now, let’s ask about your boyfriend.”
Brian snickered as he watched his best friend focus on moving his hands around the ouija board that earned him a glare from Mysterious Marilyn. “You don’t believe in this, do you?” she asked him, with a challenge in her voice.
Brian chewed on the straw from his drink as he tried not to laugh. “It’s a croak of shit.”
“Really? Had any visions lately?” she asked him.
Brian’s smile quickly disappeared from his face.
Mysterious Marilyn smirked at him.
“Brian, what is she talking about?” Michael asked.
Brian tried to get control over his emotions. “Nothing,” he said.
He turned around and was about to leave when Mysterious Marilyn grabbed his arm. “You changed something. Something big. Something important. That’s why it’s haunting you. HE’s haunting you.”
Brian stared at her, a part of him wanting to laugh at how incredibly absurd this whole thing sounded. But another part of him was taking in everything she said.
“You need to make it right again,” Mysterious Marilyn said before letting go of his arm. Brian backed away from her like he had just seen a ghost, turned and walked away.
~~~
Justin sighed with relief when he finally found Aspirin stocked away on the bottom shelf of the convenience store. He had a bitch of a headache all day. Thankful that at least one thing went his way today, he made his way towards the counter to pay.
As he was going through his wallet he heard someone call his name. Looking up, he saw Nicholas. He actually wished that the ground would open up at his feet and swallow him whole. He just couldn’t face Nick now. Not after what he did. After what he said. But he had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
“Hi,” was all he said.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Nicholas said. “How are you?”
Justin stared at him speechless and stunned that he would actually talk to him. Nick was acting as if nothing happened.
“Uh…fine,” Justin mumbled.
Then Nicholas flashed him a big smile, “Feel like getting a brownie?”
Justin smiled, realizing that Nick was not angry at him at all. In fact, he wanted to talk. “Sure.”
They made their way down Liberty Avenue and into the coffee shop the four of them used to hang out in.
~~~
“You should talk to Caleb,” Nicholas said after Justin finished telling him what had been going on at school and home.
“After what I did? No way.”
“Do you care about Caleb?” Nicholas asked.
Justin looked back at him, “Of course I do.”
“He misses you.”
Justin looked down at his plate. “I just…how…how can I…I mean…”
“Ask him to forgive you?”
“Yeah,” Justin raised his gaze at him.
“Caleb’s a very forgiving person.”
“Nobody’s THAT forgiving,” Justin shook his head.
“You’d be surprised what you are able to forgive when you care about a person,” Nicholas said, taking another sip out of his coffee.
~~~
Mysterious Marilyn’s words kept running through his mind. “You changed something.” Changed what? How could he make it right again if he had no idea what he did wrong? He was sure it had something to do with the blonde in his visions. As more time passed, the more he saw him…everywhere. He not only saw visions of the blonde. He actually started to fantasize about him…them…together…having sex. At least that’s what he thought those were…fantasies. But now he wasn’t so sure. What he thought were just his own fantasies might have been more visions. But visions of what? What did they all mean?
~~~
Justin climbed the stairs to Caleb’s apartment. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he was sure groveling would be involved. He took a deep breath in and pressed the buzzer. A moment later the door opened. He and Caleb just stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. And then Caleb did something that Justin didn’t expect. He hugged him.
Go to Part 7