The Wish - Part 10

Justin rolled on his side and stared at his lover.  No matter how hard he tried to make it up to Caleb, no matter how hard they tried to make it work, they both knew that their relationship was falling apart.  That it was only a matter of time before one of them got tired of trying and let go. 

“What?” Caleb asked.

“Nothing,” Justin shook his head.  He flopped down on his pillow.

“You wanted to say something.  What is it?”

Justin looked back at him.  “Uhm…”

“What?” Caleb asked again.

“Did you go to your prom?”

Out of all the things he expected to come out of Justin’s mouth, this wasn’t one of them.  “Yeah.  My mom made me take my cousin.”

Justin snickered, “Your cousin?”

“Yeah.  It was horrible.  I think she paid Angie too, because she just wouldn’t leave me for a second.  Ever slow danced with your cousin?”

Justin laughed at the expression of misery that was plastered on Caleb’s face as he was recalling the traumatic evening.

“Why do you ask?” Caleb asked him.

“Well, my prom’s coming up.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I wasn’t gonna go, but my mom gave me this whole lecture on why I should.  That it’s for everybody, gay or straight.  That it shouldn’t matter.  Stuff like that.”

“Uh-huh.” 

“So, I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna go with me,” Justin finally blurted out.  He turned to Caleb and waited for his reaction.

Caleb just stared back at him, at loss for words.

“Caleb?” Justin called out when Caleb still didn’t say anything.

“Yeah?”

“I think I just asked you to my prom.”

“I heard.”

“So…”

“So?  Are you nuts?  You spent your whole senior year being picked on and bullied because you’re gay.  Now you want to bring your boyfriend to a room full of the same guys that picked on you and bullied you all year long?”

Justin was surprised at his reaction.  “It’s not like they can do anything.  We’re going to be in a crowd.  And there will be chaperones and teachers and our principal.  So, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Justin…”

“Come on.  Please?”  Justin pleaded.

“Why don’t you take Daphne?”

“Because I want to go with somebody I really care about.  Somebody…” Justin looked away.  He wondered if he could say the words now.  Maybe it would fix all of their problems.  “Somebody…I…” He looked up at Caleb.  “Somebody I…love,” he whispered. 

Caleb’s eyes snapped up, surprised at what Justin just said.  He saw a mega-watt smile shining back at him.  Maybe it wasn’t over.  Maybe they still had a chance.  Caleb smiled back at him and nodded.  “That doesn’t mean I have to wear a dress, does it?”

Justin chuckled, “Only if you want to, baby.”  He kissed Caleb softly and then got up and pulled his pants on. 

Caleb smiled at how giddy Justin was.  He loved making him smile more than anything. 

“This is going to be so great.  I can only imagine the shocked looks on everyone’s faces when they see us.”  Justin pulled his shirt on, not noticing the smile on Caleb’s face fading.

~~~

“Are you insane?” Kevin exclaimed when Caleb finished explaining to him why he was trying on his tux.

“What?” Caleb turned to him, “How does it look?”

Kevin looked him over, “It looks like somebody lost his fucking mind.”

“Does that mean good or bad?”

“Caleb!  Are you fucking listening to me?”  Kevin was at the end of his rope when it came to those two. 

“Yes!  God, stop shouting.  What’s the big deal?”  Caleb took the jacket of the tux off and draped it on back of the chair.

Kevin was ready to rip out his hair. 

Caleb sighed, “Look, Kev, it’s his prom.  He wants me there.  What was I supposed to say?”

“That he needs to get some professional help for even having this idea in the first place?”

“I couldn’t do that.”  He dropped down on the couch.

“Why not?”

Caleb stared down at his hands as Kevin took a seat next to him.  “I think it’s over,” Caleb said, his words barely audible.

“What?” Kevin couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Caleb turned to look at him, “Justin and I…I think it’s over.”

“But…but he asked you to his prom.”

Sad smile spread on Caleb’s face.  “Yeah.” 

Kevin sighed, putting an arm around his best friend, “I’ll be here.”

Caleb nodded, grateful for the lack of lecture or ‘I told you so’ he was expecting to get from Kevin.

~~~

“How do I look?” Justin twirled, showing off his tux to Nicholas.

“If I wasn’t a married man I’d snatch you up in a second,” Nicholas gushed.

“Kevin married?  Ha!  Like that’s ever going to happen,” Justin scoffed.

“Blondie, do you have to rain on my parade?” 

“Sorry,” Justin smiled.  “Didn’t mean to bring you out of the fairy tale land.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Now sit down and let me do your hair,” Nicholas pushed him down in the chair in front of the mirror.  “I can’t believe you’re taking a guy to the prom.  God, I wish I had your balls.”

“A lot of people do,” Justin snickered.

Nicholas smacked the back of Justin’s head, “Don’t get smart.”  This made Justin laugh even harder. 

~~~

Caleb stood in the corner watching Justin dance with Daphne.  When Justin came to pick him up he was speechless.  He had never seen Justin look more beautiful or loved him more than he did tonight.  While he was a nervous wreck, walking in hand-in-hand with Justin, his lover was reveling in the attention they got, his head up high.  He watched Justin all night talk, laugh, and dance with Daphne and he couldn’t push away the feeling that Justin was already gone from his life.  No matter how much they tried to stall, no matter how much they tried to fight the inevitable, it was over.  And the longer they didn’t accept that fact, the more it would hurt in the long run.  And Caleb wasn’t sure he could handle that.  Because it already hurt like hell. 

He put down the glass of soda and walked out of the banquette hall.  Finding a smoking section he took out a cigarette and lit it.

“Hey, there you are.”  Justin exclaimed walking toward him, breathless from dancing.  “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  Let’s dance.  Come on,” Justin took his hand, pulling Caleb after him, but Caleb didn’t move.  “What’s wrong?”

Caleb stared at him, not sure if he could get the words out.  “I don’t want to,” he said instead.

“Just one dance, please.  Come on,” Justin turned to leave again, tugging on Caleb’s hand, but once again Caleb didn’t move.

Justin stopped and looked at him, his smile fading. 

Caleb took a deep breath in, pulling his hand out of Justin’s.  “I think I should go.”

“Go?  Go where?  You wanna leave?”  Justin chastised himself for leaving Caleb alone for so long, not thinking that the other man would feel uncomfortable.  “It’s still early.  We could call the guys and meet them at Woody’s or something if you want.”

“No.  I mean…I…should go.”  He emphasized ‘I’.

Justin’s eyes widened at the realization of what Caleb meant.  “But…why?”

“Because we both know it’s time.”

“But…I…I…lo…”

“Don’t,” Caleb cut him off before he could say the word.  “I know the reason why you couldn’t say it before.  And I know the reason why you’re trying to say it now.  And it’s not the right one.  It’s not because you love me.  It’s because you’re trying to hold on to us.  We both are.  And I think it’s time to let go.”

“That’s not true.” The tears welled up in his eyes.

“Yes, it is,” Caleb said softly, trying to fight his own tears.  He took a step closer to Justin.  “You want something.  Something else.  Someone else.  It’s been that way from the beginning.  You feel like there’s someone else out there for you.  And you’ve been searching for him all this time.  I kept hoping that you’d realize it was me, but we both know that it’s not.  I hoped that maybe after a while you’d love me.  But I just can’t do that anymore.  Wait for you.  I can’t waste my life on what-ifs and maybes.  You’re graduating and starting a new life.  I think it would be better for both of us if you started it alone.  Without me.”

“Caleb, I…” a single tear rolled down Justin’s cheek.

“Shhh,” Caleb said, wiping away the tear with his hand.  “It’s ok.  It’s going to be ok.”

“I…”

Caleb’s lower lip quivered as his lips touched Justin’s.  They let the kiss linger just a little while longer.  Caleb was the first one to pull away, wiping the tears off his face.

“I’m sorry,” Justin whispered.

“I know,” Caleb nodded.  Took a step back.  He forced out a smile, “Bye, Justin.”  He turned around and started to walk away.  Everything inside of him was screaming to turn around, to forget everything he just said.  But he knew he couldn’t.  He started running down the hall, needing to get away from Justin.

When Justin saw him disappear around the corner he leaned against the wall, trying to process what just happened, oblivious to a pair of eyes watching him.

~~~

Brian couldn’t believe that he let Ryder talk him into coming to see Luke Hardt this late at night.  No matter how big the account was he could have gotten somebody else to drop off the papers at Mr. Hardt’s hotel room.  But working would mean not thinking about being thirty and so he agreed. 

He parked his Jeep in the parking garage of the hotel and looked himself over in the mirror.  He was wearing a simple navy-blue suit with his new silk scarf around his neck.  Even though they already got the account, he still had to look good, still had to sell himself to the client.  He reached for the folder on the passenger seat when, suddenly, he saw himself dressed in a tux dancing with the beautiful blonde from his visions while a crowd gathered around them.  He didn’t try to shake off the image this time.  It was beautiful.  The two of them.  Even though he could only see the blonde staring back at him, somehow he knew that they were amazing together.  Magical.  “It was the best night of my life,” the blonde said.  The blonde was wearing the same white scarf that he had on right now.  “Even if it was ridiculously romantic.”  Brian even smiled at the image.  But then the beautiful vision got replaced by an image of him running out of the jeep and screaming ‘Justin’ and then seeing and hearing the bat strike the blonde’s head.  The image was so intense and disturbing; it left Brian breathless, gasping for air.  “What the FUCK!” he shouted.  “ENOUGH!”  He ran his hands through his hair, trying to get the last image out of his head, but he kept seeing it over and over again…the bat striking the blonde…like a fucking movie in rewind mode.  “STOP!”  He looked at himself in the mirror again, but all he saw was the now bloody white scarf clutched in his hand.  Brian closed his eyes, trying to push the frightening image out of his head, trying to compose himself.

He grabbed the folder and got out of the Jeep.

Justin said good-bye to Daphne and headed to the garage, toward the car he borrowed from his mother.  He wanted to forget this day, this night ever happened.  He thought, no, believed that asking Caleb to the prom would fix things.  That it would be romantic and prove to Caleb how much he cared for him.  Somehow it turned out all wrong. 

Brian was almost at the elevator when he saw a young man dressed in a tuxedo walking through the parking garage.  Brian thought his heart would stop when he realized…this was the blonde from his visions.  He watched the young man walk away from him when something else caught his eye…another guy…with a bat…moving fast toward the blonde.  Brian’s eyes widened as the image of the bat striking the blonde’s head ran through Brian’s mind again.

“JUSTIN!!!” he dropped the folder in his hand and ran as fast as he could. 

Hearing his name, Justin stopped and turned around.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw a man running toward him as he saw Chris Hobbs raising and swinging the bat at his head.  At the last moment Justin managed to duck, the bat missing his head by an inch.  Losing his balance, he tumbled to the ground. 

“What the fuck?!” Justin yelled out as he stared wild-eyed at the football player.  “What the FUCK are you DOING?!” He tried to get up as Chris moved closer to him raising the bat again, but his right hand was hurt and he yelled out in pain.  Just as he thought the bat would connect with his head, he saw a white silk scarf float down and land at his feet.  He didn’t see anything else, feeling hypnotized by the white object lying next to him.  He heard something the sounded like a cry and then the bat falling to the ground.

Justin was gasping for air as if he just ran ten miles, his heart racing, shaking all over.  His brain trying to make sense of what just happened.

“You ok?” 

Slowly he moved his gaze up at the man standing in front of him.  He stared into the hazel eyes of the stranger, unable to speak. 

Brian couldn’t look away, his eyes fixed on the pair of blue ones.  He didn’t think he had ever seen anything so blue.  For just a second he forgot that the kid was just attacked.  This was the kid that had been haunting him for months.  Months of visions and dreams and fantasies.  And here he was.  In front of him now.  How did this kid get into his head before he ever met him? 

“Are you ok?” he asked the blonde again, bringing both of them into the present.

Justin nodded, still unable to utter a single word.  He saw a hand in front of him.  He put his left hand in it and let the man pull him up to his feet.  He stood so close to the other man he could smell shampoo his hair.  Justin finally broke the stare and looked around.  He saw the bat laying a couple of feet away, but there was no sign of Chris Hobbs anywhere.

“He ran away,” Brian explained.

Justin looked back at him, nodding.

“Are you two ok?” they heard somebody ask.  They both turned around to see a security guard next to them.  “I was told that somebody got attacked here.”

“Yes, some guy just tried to smash HIS head with THAT baseball bat.”  He pointed to the bat still lying on the ground. 

The security guard took out his radio and told somebody to call the cops right away, “The police should be here in a few minutes,” he said.  “Are you hurt?” he asked Justin.

“Uhm…just…” he looked down at his right arm, “Just my arm.”

“You’re bleeding,” Brian exclaimed, looking down at his arm covered in blood.

“It’s…it’s ok.”  Justin said.

Brian picked up the scarf and wrapped it around Justin’s bleeding hand.

Just then they saw the police car drive up to them and two policemen get out of it and make their way toward them.  Justin was grateful that the other man explained what happened, not sure if could speak. 

“Do you know the man that attacked you?”

Justin moved his gaze from the stranger’s eyes and looked at one of the policemen, realizing the question was directed at him, “Yes.  Chris Hobbs.  We go to school together.”  He watched the cop write the information down while his partner picked up the bat and put it in a big plastic bag.  Justin saw an ambulance drive up, two paramedics getting out of it. 

“I…I don’t need…hospital,” he said, getting apprehensive again.

“It’s ok.  They’ll just check you out, make sure you’re ok.  That’s all,” the policeman said, trying to calm down the frightened teen.

The paramedics removed the scarf, now soaked with blood and handed it to Brian who was standing next to Justin. 

One of the paramedics led Justin away to the ambulance and sat him down, assessing the damage and bandaging it.  Justin didn’t take his eyes off Brian the whole time the paramedic was working on him.

“He might need some stitches,” Brian heard the other paramedic say to the policeman. 

“That’s ok.  We can talk to him later,” the cop replied to the paramedic, then turned to Brian.  “Sir, do you mind coming down to the station with us to give a statement?”

Brian looked back at Justin who was still staring at him.  “No…I mean…yes…sure.”

He watched as the paramedics ushered Justin inside the ambulance, their eyes meeting one last time when Justin turned to look at him.  Then the blonde head disappeared and the ambulance drove away.  He listened to the policeman telling him which station to go to and then slowly made his way to his Jeep.  When he got in, he looked down at the object still clutched in his hand.  Brian shuddered as the image of the blood-red scarf ran through his mind again.

Go to Part 11

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