I get Gus all set up in his chair and then busy myself with pouring him juice and putting some food on his plate and avoid looking at anybody as they settle around the table. Because I know exactly what all of them want to know.
“Let’s say grace,” Debbie says and everybody except for me and Gus close their eyes and apparently pray. At least they’re not doing it out loud, considering there are some people who don’t need to say grace before devouring a turkey. Mainly, me.
I look around the table and my eyes settle on the blonde across the table. And I can’t help wondering what he’s praying for. Is he just saying ‘thank you’ or asking God for something. Knowing Justin, probably the latter. He never asks anybody for anything. Always has to do everything himself. No matter how hard it is or how impossible the ultimate goal appears to be, he never gives up. Well, almost never.
I remember that one Christmas when he lived with me he tried to get me to go to church with him and Jennifer. I laughed. I mean, really laughed. I thought he was kidding. Brian Kinney going to church on Christmas? Now, THAT would be a sign of apocalypse. I felt bad later on, when I realized that Justin needed that. Needed to believe into something bigger. Especially after surviving as much as he did. Who knows. Maybe he even saw some bright light and heaven when he was in a coma. He never told me. And I never asked. Didn’t want to know. It was sort of a taboo subject with us. With me. He was ok and that was all that mattered. Except, he wasn’t ok. He just did a very good imitation of me pretending that he was. And I was so desperate to know that he was all better, that I believed him.
And when do I find all of that out? When we were still together? Right? You’d think so. But no. He decided to share that with me when I least of all expected it and was completely unprepared. On the second anniversary of the bashing. Fucking drama queen. That’s exactly what he is.
I was planning to do exactly what I did on the first anniversary, which is go out, get fucked, and then fuck. The first two phases were completed and I brought a trick back for the third one. That was the plan until I found Justin sitting on my doorstep.
We spent all night doing something that was a completely foreign subject to me…talking. About the bashing. It was hard. So fucking hard to relive that night again and again, but Justin needed it. And I was the only person who could give him what he needed at that moment. Because nobody else knew what we went through. What I went through. What he did. We were like two soldiers who somehow survived the battle. It was the connection, the bond that would last forever, no matter where or who we were with.
He told me he remembered us dancing, the kiss. He remembered everything. Apparently he was seeing somebody at the GLC. Which surprised me, considering how set against it he was when he first got out of the hospital. Or maybe I was the one who was against it. Don’t remember now. And it doesn’t really matter, does it? I smile remembering that night. Not what happened at the garage. I don’t ever want to remember THAT. But our dance. Our kiss. His smile.
Just then Justin opens his eyes and stares back at me. I look away, even though we both know that I’ve been caught. But I know he’ll let it go. Always does.
“Well, let’s dig in,” Vic says, cutting into the turkey and the plates start going around the table.
And everybody starts chattering away. Emmett about the new shipment of some fabulous silk shirts. Melanie about making partner. Lindsay about the class she’s teaching. Ben about some Zen things he always talks about and nobody listens to. Ted…well, who gives a shit what Ted is talking about. And of course, everybody’s eyes are on Justin.
First, they start with school. How are the classes? How did he do this semester? On and on. If they only knew how close he came to dropping out…twice…because he couldn’t pay tuition. I knew it would be a struggle to get him to accept the money for school after he left. It was a battle to get him to take the money in the first place when we were still together. But we barely spoke last fall and here I am giving him a check in front of everybody. Ok, so I should have thought a little harder about the presentation of the whole thing, but I was swamped at work and frankly I wanted that matter to be over as soon as possible. Needless to say, I wasn’t one bit surprised when he showed up at the loft later that day in a not very sunshiny mood. I think that was the first time we actually had a fight. I mean, both of us yelling, screaming, and ready to throw things around fight. But in the end I prevailed, of course. I sat down and just let him rave and rant for a while. When he ran out of steam I calmly made my pitch. Advertising is my specialty, after all, and I’m VERY good at what I do.
After he tells them all about school and his grades they, of course, want to know about his trip. Well, mostly they just want to know WHO he’s going with. Isn’t that the million-dollar question? Apparently, he’s been VERY secretive about it. Or so says Michael. I listen to them pound him with questions, amused and relieved. The longer they work on him, the less time they’ll have to get to me.
I watch him get completely exasperated, trying to find a way out of this interrogation. How many times has he gone through this in the last year or so? Every time he went out with a new guy. Almost as many guys as I’ve fucked. And that’s saying a lot. And everybody knew that too. I remember walking in on the boys discussing Justin and I at Woody’s once, as if they’d have anything better to talk about, and overhearing Ted say, “The only difference between Justin and Brian is that Justin actually bothers to ask for a name first.” He didn’t see either of us since I just walked in and Justin was standing behind him at the bar. If looks could kill, Ted would have been dead right there and then. I wanted him turned into some smelly grey mouse and stomp it with my foot when I saw the look on Justin’s face.
It wasn’t anybody’s place to tell Justin what to do, what or how many guys to date. He was on a mission. To find the right guy. Still believing in his little fairy tales with happy endings. So many times I wanted to scream, to yell, to knock some sense into him. So, he’d stop wasting his time looking for something that’s not there. Never was. Never would be. Stop getting his heart broken. But I couldn’t. Couldn’t take that dream away from him. He wanted to find the right guy so desperately. And now, watching him trying to rebuff any inquiries about the mystery man, I can’t help hoping that maybe he finally did.
Anyway, Justin’s being pounded by a number of questions while I’m peacefully chewing on a piece of turkey when he turns to me with a smirk. He stares at me for awhile, ignoring the others. And then drops the bomb. “So, Brian, where is YOUR boyfriend?” Fucking twat. I nearly choke on the fucking turkey.
And everything stops and everybody at the table stares at me, expecting some kind of a response. I look at him and the little shit is smiling. Fucker. Why shouldn’t he smile? In a matter of seconds he got them to forget all about him and focus on me. He should be delirious to get them off his back. Go ahead, smile, you little twat. Your happiness won’t last long, ‘cause I’m going to fucking kill you when this is all over.
I clear my throat, trying to come up with SOMETHING to say, but of course nothing comes out of my mouth. So, instead I just get up. “Bathroom,” I explain and before anybody can say another word I practically run up the stairs, taking two at a time.
I go into the bathroom and make some noise in there so they wouldn’t come looking for me for a while. When nobody follows I go into Justin’s room. It’s weird being here again. There are so many memories here. And I don’t just mean the ones from when Mikey and I were kids. If Deb knew what happened here on more than one occasion when Justin first lived here, we’d both need wheelchairs to get around in.
“Sunshine, could you get Vic’s meds from his room?” I hear Deb say. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be so dependent on something. Having to take so many fucking pills every day for the rest of your life.
“I can get it,” Vic replies.
But of course Justin’s probably already half way up the stairs. “I got it,” Justin yells out.
Great. I couldn’t have staged it better myself. Because as soon as he passes by his room I grab the back of his shirt and pull him into the room as he yelps in surprise.
I close the door and slam him against it, pressing my lips against his as my tongue explores the inside of his mouth. I pull away slightly to get some air and I’m greeted by a bright smile.
“Hi,” he murmurs.
“Hi,” I smile back at him. I can’t help it. It’s contagious.
I pull him in for another kiss as we stumble over to the bed. I drop him on it and get on top of him, finding his mouth with my own immediately. I miss this. The taste of him in my mouth. The feel of his body underneath mine. Because of his finals I haven’t seen him in three days, except for the brief meeting today. But I couldn’t even touch him then since Emmett was standing right there.
“Sorry about that down there,” he says.
I hold myself up on my arms. “You think just ‘sorry’ will do? You fed me to the wolves,” I say in my best drama queen voice.
“I didn’t know what else to do. I was desperate.”
“So, you set me up,” I pout. “With boyfriends like you…”
Fucking brat. He just laughs at that. He loves hearing me say the ‘b’ word.
He runs his hand through my hair gently. “It was only fair. Besides, it’s not my fault that you couldn’t keep acting like an asshole.”
Fuck. He DOES have a point. I guess I’m losing my edge, if Mikey figured it out. Well, almost figured it out.
“Fuck it,” I whisper, kissing him again. That’s really what I want to do right now. Not talk about our fucking family and friends.
He snakes his hands under my shirt and runs them up and down my back, as I grind my hard on against his. We’re both about ready to explode, needing to be close to each other. We’ve held out for three days. I’m sure we can wait for a couple more hours.
Right.
While I’m busy licking every possible part of his body that is not covered with clothes he goes straight for the bulls eye and unzipping my pants, starts rubbing my cock. Just feeling his warm hand on my hard penis nearly drives me nuts. My breath catches in my throat and it takes every ounce of control not to make a sound.
“Justin, what’s taking you so…”
We both look up at the very confused and surprised Mikey. It takes him some time to realize what’s going on, taking in Justin’s hand down my pants.
“Didn’t your mother teach you to knock?” I say when it’s apparent that he’s not going to say anything.
“Uh…sorry.”
“Could you shut the door, please?” I give him an innocent look as if there’s absolutely nothing out of the ordinary going on in front of his eyes.
“Sure,” he mumbles and then closing the door, leaves.
I feel Justin’s body shaking beneath me. For a slight second I get worried, but when I look back down at him he’s laughing. I mean, really laughing. Out loud. So hard he’s got tears in his eyes. And of course I laugh too. I roll off of him and we just lie side-by-side laughing our asses off.
“Think he already told them?” Justin asks when we both calm down a little.
I just give him a look that says ‘we’re talking about Michael here.’ He nods.
“So, I guess your brilliant plan wasn’t so brilliant after all,” I tease him.
“Hey, I was doing just fine. You’re the one who dragged me in here,” he goes on the defensive. He rolls on his side, and props his head on his hand. “We COULD just blame it on too much wine.”
I pretend to think about it. The key word here is pretend. Because I know that there’s no way getting out of this one. “And get a rep for being a cheating boyfriend? I don’t think so, Sunshine.”
Fuck. Why do I always find the wrong thing to say? He frowns immediately and moves away from me. He knows I’m just kidding. I got over that whole deal a long time ago. Or almost got over it. He’s the one who makes a big deal out of nothing. I watch him sit up on the bed and straighten his shirt.
“I guess we should go downstairs and face the music,” he says solemnly.
I sit up as well, taking his hand in mine and pulling him against me. “In a little while. We have to give them some time to place bets on how long we’ve been together and how long we’ll last.” I am definitely a master. Because somehow I manage to get that smile back on his face.
“Maybe we should get in on it,” he grins.
“Oh, yeah? What would you bet on?” A moan when I feel his lips on my neck.
“You don’t wanna know,” he mumbles.
I smile and slap him slightly. “Twat.”
But he just presses against me. “I can’t wait for the fourteenth,” he whispers into my ear and my whole body shivers, either from the feel of his hot breath on my neck or at the thought of the two of us being in the Bahamas. Just us and the beach. And the bed, of course. Can’t forget that.
“Do you know what I’m gonna do to you?” I pant as he starts to slowly rub my dick through the pants.
“Stuff me like a turkey?” he murmurs in my ear and we both chuckle.
“And then eat you up,” I respond as he sneaks his hand inside my pants and is pulling harder on my dick. He slowly pushes me down on the bed and kisses me while his hand picks up the rhythm. All the logical thought leaves my mind as he brings me close to the edge pretty quickly. He slows down, making me moan and protest when he pulls his mouth away from mine, but he just grins and in the next moment I can feel his hot wet mouth cover my cock. I moan loudly, not caring that there’s a house full of our family and friends, AND his fucking mother. He sucks hard and I shoot in his mouth.
These are the moments when I DON’T wonder how this kid was able to stick around for so fucking long. He is the best fucking lay in Pittsburgh. Fuck. He’s the best lay I’ve ever had. And he knows it too.
When I’m finally able to process anything I pull him up against me and kiss him hard, rolling him on his back. It’s his turn now. But he pushes me away.
“We have to go,” he says quietly.
“Fuck them.” And I really do mean it. Sneaking out of the window doesn’t sound so bad right now. But he shakes his head.
He pushes me off of him and stands up, once again straightening his shirt and pants. “Come on, just a little while longer.” He’s talking to me like a child, which almost pisses me off. But then I realize that I’m pouting. No wonder.
He holds out his hand for me and I take it. He takes a few tissues and cleans me up a bit before zipping my pants up and opening the door. We both take a deep breath and head out.
When we reach the staircase he stops and looks at me, unsure of what to do. So, I take his hand in mine and lead him down. We’ll figure it out as we go along. Just like we always do.
And of course, all eyes are on us as we get down. The two of us stop in the middle of the stairs and look back at them. He glances at me, silently asking me to say something. But I just shrug, at a loss for words…for once. So, he turns back to them and gives them his Sunshine smile.
“Did we miss desert?”
The End.
