Not Easy - Part 2
Justin heard the knock on the door. When he opened the door he saw Brian standing on the other side.
“I thought you might need this.” Brian held a cup of coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other.
Justin gave him a small smile. Brian was right. He didn’t sleep a wink the night before. After they left the hospital Justin insisted that he and Molly needed to be alone. Brian hated leaving, but did as Justin asked. But he was back on his doorsteps as early as possible.
Justin took the cup of coffee from Brian and walked up the stairs; Brian behind him.
“How’s Molly?” Brian asked when they reached the kitchen.
Justin put the coffee on the table and sat in the nearest chair. “She’s still asleep.”
“And you?” He stared at Justin.
“I’m fine. I just got a lot of things to do today,” Justin replied.
Brian sat down in a chair next to Justin. “I’m here.”
Justin nodded.
“And I’m sure everybody else will be here very shortly,” Brian added.
~~
“What’s that, honey?” Debbie asked Justin who walked down, holding a small book in his hands.
“Uh…my mom’s address book. I need to call all her friends and family.”
“Here, we’ll take care of that for you,” Vic said getting up and taking the address book from Justin’s hands before he could protest.
Justin ran his hand through his hair trying to figure out what he needed to do next. “There will be people here afterwards so I need to find a caterer.”
“Why don’t we get food from the diner?” Debbie asked.
“Feed them burgers and fries?” Brian sneered. When Debbie gave him the evil eye, he continued, “I’ll take care of it.”
“Fine,” Justin said, turned around, and went back upstairs.
He looked in through a small opening in the doorway to check if Molly was still asleep. She was. When he turned around he saw Brian standing in front of him. Slowly Brian made his way over to him. He put his arms around Justin, pulling him in for a hug. For a second Justin relaxed, but then suddenly pulled away.
“No.”
Brian looked at him confused, then took a step closer to him.
Justin held out his hand to stop him, “Don’t…I can’t…just…just don’t.”
Brian understood. Justin couldn’t fall apart right now. He had to be strong for Molly. Brian took a step backwards, letting Justin know that he got the message.
Justin looked away and took a deep breath. “I need to…uh…choose a coffin.”
“I can…” Brian began to say, but Justin cut him off.
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“I can do this.” Everybody was taking care of everything and Justin felt useless and helpless. And he hated it. “I can do this,” he repeated, trying to convince himself more than Brian.
“Yes, you can,” Brian said, taking a step closer again.
Justin nodded, “I’m gonna go get dressed.”
“Justin,” Brian called out as Justin was about to enter his room. “Do you want me to go with you?”
Justin stared at him, considering the proposition. He just nodded in reply.
~~
Everybody went back to Jennifer’s townhouse for the wake after the funeral. Justin barely knew most of the people there, but they all came up to him and Molly and hugged them, or kissed them, or patted them on the shoulder. All Justin wanted to do is scream, to tell them all to get out, but he couldn’t.
He was standing outside when he felt someone’s hands on his shoulders, massaging them, slowly and gently.
“God, you are so stiff. And for once I am not talking about your cock,” Brian said, actually getting a smile out of Justin.
Justin pulled away and sat down on the steps at the door. Brian sat next to him.
“You ok?” Brian asked, knowing full well that it was a very stupid question in this situation, but not having anything better to say.
Justin nodded, “Tired. I feel like I could sleep forever.”
Brian reached out his hand, gently caressing Justin’s cheek. “They’ll be gone soon.”
Justin closed his eyes, drawing comfort from Brian’s touch. ‘And then what?’ he thought, but just nodded in reply.
“Where’s Molly?” Brian asked after a moment of silence.
“Upstairs. With Daphne.”
“How is she doing?”
Justin shrugged his shoulders.
Just then they heard the door open.
“Oh, there you are, sweetie,” Lindsay said.
They both looked up at her.
“Something wrong?” Justin asked.
“Oh, no, not at all. Actually, Mel and I were thinking that if it’s ok with you maybe Molly could stay with us for a few days. You know, just to get out of this house. A change of scenery. It might be good for her. For both of you. What do you think?”
“Uhm…sure, why not. I’ll be right up to pack her things.”
“Oh, that’s ok, honey. I can do it,” she said, then went back inside.
Justin snorted out a nervous laugh, shaking he head. “Let me guess. Your idea?” he looked at Brian.
“Actually…no.”
Justin looked away. “I should go check up on Molly,” he said, getting up.
~~
The next few weeks went by in a blur. Justin was busy with work and school on top of taking care of Molly and the house. He and Brian barely saw each other. In fact Justin barely spoke or saw any of his friends, except for Debbie when he worked. But even then Justin focused on doing his job rather than chatting with her.
Justin wasn’t surprised to see Brian sitting on the doorsteps waiting for him. He has been blowing Brian off and it was just a matter of time before Brian demanded some explanation. That or Brian wouldn’t give a shit and enjoy his freedom away from the guy who cheated on him. Since Brian was here Justin had to go with the first one.
“Hey,” he said as he neared Brian.
“Hey,” Brian replied, getting up.
Justin opened the door and held it out for Brian.
When they got upstairs, Brian said, “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, been busy,” Justin said, going through the mail.
“Right. Too busy to return your calls?”
Justin looked up at him, not saying anything in return. He knew Brian was right. He wished everyone would understand he just needed time. He didn’t feel like talking or seeing anybody.
“Everybody’s worried about you.”
“Well, I’m fine. So, stop worrying,” Justin snapped.
Brian decided to try a different tactic. He walked over to Justin and put his hand on the back of Justin’s neck, pulling him closer. He put his lips on Justin’s. Even though Justin responded, Brian could feel that he wasn’t into it. He pulled away and stared into the blue eyes.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
Justin narrowed his eyes, then sneered, “You mean you missed fucking me.”
Brian was taken aback by Justin’s attitude. “No. I mean I missed YOU.”
“Come on, Brian. We both know you wouldn’t just say that. Just because my mother died doesn’t mean I suddenly became brainless, mindless idiot.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Brian couldn’t help but snap back at him.
“Everybody’s been tiptoeing around me!”
“Well, sorry for fucking caring!” Brian shouted.
“Well, I don’t need you to care! And I don’t need you to fucking pity me! I can take care of myself and Molly just fine!” Justin shouted back.
“FINE!” Brian grabbed his jacket and hastily left.
Flinching at the sound of the door slamming, Justin returned his attention to the letter he was reading. It was from his mother’s accountant. It had the current balance and a letter asking Justin for a meeting.
Go to Part 3