Just Us - Part 3

“There’s Justin,” Michael said.  They all looked at Justin dancing with another guy.

“That boy can dance?” Emmett said, “They both can.” 

They all watched as Justin and his dance partner moved to the rhythm of the music. 

“Who is he?”  Ted asked nobody in particular.

Brian turned away.  It was the same guy he saw Justin leaving the diner with a few weeks ago.  He felt the little green monster returning. 

After their conversation in Brian’s loft that night things got a little better.  They stopped their ridiculous “competition”, stopped trying to hurt each other.  Justin started hanging out with him and the guys again.  He even gave him a ride to school a couple of times.  Things seemed to be returning to the way they were before the prom and the bashing, before things got complicated.  They were actually becoming friends now.

“Hey, guys,” he heard Justin behind him. 

He turned around to see the two of them, blushed and a little sweaty from the dancing.  “How’s it going?”

They all stood staring at each other for a moment.

“Well, aren’t you going to introduce us?” Brian finally asked, since nobody else did.

“Oh, sorry,” Justin smiled, “This is Andrew.  We go to school together.  Andrew, this is Emmett…Ted…Michael…Ben…and Brian,” he finished the introduction. 

“Nice to meet you,” Andrew said in return.

“You guys were fabulous out there,” Emmett said.

The boys both smiled back at him.  Again, there was an awkward silent moment. 

“Well, we’re going to dance,” Ben said as he led Michael to the dance floor. 

“You wanna dance?” Andrew asked Justin.

“Nah, I need a break,” Justin said leaning back against the bar. 

“Well, then if you don’t mind…,” Emmett put down his drink and took Andrew’s hand, “come on, dancing queen, lets see what you’ve got.” 

Justin laughed as he watched his two friends make their way through the dance floor. 

“Well, see you guys tomorrow,” Ted said as he put down his beer. 

“Where are you going?” Justin asked him. 

“The porn king’s job’s never done,” Ted said, then left.

They stood next to each other, watching Andrew and Emmett dance.

“So, did you do him yet?” Brian suddenly asked.

“Huh?” Justin looked at him confused. 

Brian raised his eyebrow.

Justin grimaced at him, “Brian, we go to school together.”

“So?”

“So, I can’t have sex with someone I know,” Justin said.

“Why not?” Brian asked.

Justin struggled not to show what he was feeling.

“It’d be too weird.”  He said.  ‘Nice save,” he thought to himself.

Brian leaned in, “You should fuck him.”

Justin watched him walk away.  He felt like Brian just punched him in the stomach.  That hurt.  He wasn’t even sure why.  They weren’t together for a while now, but for some reason he still followed the rules.   He rarely kissed his tricks, didn’t do any of them twice.  And he never did anybody he knew.  That was the biggest one of them all.  Sex was just sex now, no emotions involved.  That was always left for Brian.  He hoped that Brian felt the same way.  But he was obviously wrong.  Brian actually wanted him to be with someone else?  That meant that Brian was over him…there was no hope for them anymore.  Justin felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Your friend Emmett is amazing,” Andrew said as he slumped against the bar next to him, trying to catch his breath. 

Justin gave him what was supposed to pass for a smile and then looked back at where Brian was talking to some guy.  He watched Brian smile and then say something into the guy’s ear, then the guy smiled back at Brian.

He couldn’t watch it anymore.

“You wanna get out of here?”

Andrew smiled, “Yeah, sure.” 

They made their way out of the club. 

~~~

“When’s Daphne coming home?” Andrew asked.

“I don’t know.  Sometimes she stays at her parents overnight.”  Justin answered as he handed him a beer.

“Thanks,” Andrew said.  “You guys have been friends long?” Andrew asked trying to find something to talk about. 

“Since we were kids,” Justin answered without even thinking. 

His thoughts were on something else, someone else.  He put his beer on the counter and pulled Andrew for a kiss.  His mind was screaming “Brian, Brian, Brian.”  He had to change it the only way he knew how.  As he kissed Andrew over and over again, he kept repeating in his head, “Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.”

~~~

The minute he opened his eyes the events of the night before hit him with full force. 

“Morning.”

Justin looked up into a set of brown eyes.  “Morning,” he replied.  “What time is it?”

Andrew, who was closer to the clock, answered, “seven fifteen.”

“Oh, shit,” Justin practically jumped out.  “I’m gonna be late.  Deb’s gonna kill me,” he said as he pulled a pair of pants from the closet and put them on.

Andrew also got out of the bed and started to put his clothe back on. 

“Hey, do you wanna do anything tonight?” he asked Justin who was desperately trying to figure out what sweater to wear.  J

ustin stopped and looked at him, then looked down. 

“I have another shift tonight.” 

When Andrew gave him a confused look, he added, “We’re a little shorthanded right now.”

Andrew nodded, “What about tomorrow then?”

Justin felt uncomfortable.  He knew it was a mistake.  “Uhm…I…I have plans,” he finally said, quickly looking away, not wanting to see the hurt look on Andrew’s face.

“Oh,” was all that Andrew said, understanding perfectly what was going on. 

~~~

The next day Andrew sat in the different end of the classroom, as far away from Justin as he possible could.  Justin felt horrible.  What was making it even worse was the fact that he actually liked him…a lot.  Why he acted like he did he didn’t know.

As Justin made his way through the hall to his next class he heard his teacher calling his name.

“Hi, Justin, could I talk to you for a moment,” Professor Laney, said as she walked up to him. 

“Yeah, sure.”

“Uhm…do you know who Kevin Riley is?” she asked him.

“Yes, of course.  He owns art galleries all over the country…New York, Chicago, LA.  He’s known for discovering new artists.”

She smiled, “Kevin is a friend of mine.”  Justin didn’t say anything, not wanting to jump to any conclusions.  “He saw your work a few days ago and absolutely loved it,” she continued, “He wanted to see if you’d be interested in meeting with him.”

Justin thought his heart was about to jump out of his chest. 

“Are you serious?” he asked, not believing this was happening.

She smiled again, “I’ll take that as a yes,” she said. 

“Yeah, I mean, yes…absolutely.”

“Ok, great.  I’ll let you know the details later.”

“Great.  Thank you,” he said smiling.

~~~

“Hey, isn’t that your friend?” Debbie asked Justin pointing to one of the booths.

He turned around to see Andrew with two other guys. 

“Uh…yeah,” he turned away. 

“Well, why don’t you go take their orders then?”

“It’s your table, Deb,” he said going back to making coffee.

“That’s ok.  Go on,” she said, taking the pitcher from his hand.  She could tell that something happened between Justin and that boy.  She watched as Justin made his way over to their table.

“Hi,” Justin said.  He tried to smile at Andrew, but that didn’t work very well.  When Andrew didn’t answer, Justin took out his order book.  “You guys ready to order?” 

While Justin waited at the counter for their orders to be prepared Deb watched him steal small glances at the table where Andrew sat.  Andrew refused to look at him at all.  Deb’s train of thought was cut short when she followed Justin’s gaze over to the door.  She didn’t even have to look to know that it was Brian.  She could tell by the look in Justin’s eyes. 

“Hey,” Justin smiled at him as Brian sat next to him at the counter.

“You’re here early.” 

“Hungry,” Brian said. 

“The usual?” Justin asked.

Brian nodded as Justin went to place his order. 

Deb looked from Justin to Brian to Andrew to Justin to Brian again.  Aha…she should have known.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  She sighed and went to take another table’s order.

~~~

Kevin Riley wasn’t at all what Justin expected.  He was in his mid-fifties, but he didn’t look it.  He was tall, fit, full head of brown hair, very charming, intelligent, and pleasant to talk to.  Justin’s thoughts wandered of to Brian for a second, but he quickly told himself not to go there.  He had to focus on his career now.  They were pretty much done with the business part of the dinner.  Kevin wanted to display a few of his works in his New York gallery and see how things would go from there.  Justin was sure it was all a dream.  He even tried to pinch himself a few times to make sure he’s awake. 

Their conversation drifted over to more personal topics.  Kevin asked him about his family, told him a little bit about his. 

“You’re amazing.” Kevin said when Justin was done telling him a story of teaching Molly how to paint when she was 3.  They were both laughing. 

“It’s not what my mom said when she saw the mess we made,” Justin replied.

Kevin’s expression became serious.  “How did she react when she found out you were gay?”

Justin was caught off guard.  He just stared at Kevin in shock.  The question came out of nowhere.  “How did you…” he tried to ask him.

Kevin thought it was time to come clean with the boy.  “I read about you,” he said, “In one of the PFLAG’s newsletters.”  Justin was even more confused now.  “About what happened to you at your prom,” Kevin clarified. 

“Oh,” was all that Justin could say.

“See, my son…he was a victim of a hate crime…like you,” he said sadly.

“Your son was…”

“Gay…yes.”

“What happened to him?”  Justin asked.

“He and his partner were attacked right in front of their home…stabbed.”

“I’m sorry,” Justin said quietly.  Then the realization hit him.  “So, that’s why you want to help me…because I’m gay…because like your son I was attacked?”

“No, that’s not it,” Kevin tried to say, but Justin didn’t listen.

“You think that by somehow helping me, saving me, you can save your son?!”  Justin was practically shouting at this point. 

“No, Justin, I assure you…”

”Well, I’m not some charity case!”  Justin threw his napkin on the table, stood up, and made his way out of the restaurant.

~~~

“Oh, that’s so sad,” Emmett said, wiping his eyes.  Justin just finished telling them about what happened during his dinner with Kevin. 

Brian rolled his eyes at him.  Emmett could cry over anything.

“I can’t believe you just walked out on him,” Ted said to Justin.

“I don’t need his fucking pity,” Justin said. 

“Ooh, the pool table is empty,” Emmett said as he jumped off a stool and he, Ted, and Michael left Brian and Justin alone at the bar.

“You realize what you gave up, right?” Brian asked, without looking at him.

Justin looked at him confused.  He thought that Brian would understand better than anybody about getting somewhere because of hard work and talent and not because of what you are. 

“I told you, I don’t need…”

“His fucking pity, I know,” Brian finished his sentence.  “Do you know how many people would kill for this opportunity?”

“Well, then let them.  I can make my own way.”

Brian shook his head.  The kid was more stubborn than he was at times.

“Don’t be an idiot, Justin.  Yes, he sought you out because of what happened, but do you really think that he would put his reputation on the line just because of it?  If he didn’t like your work?”  Brian watched Justin process the information. 

“So, you’re saying I should give it a shot?”

“I’m saying that some things are worth taking a chance,” Brian said, then took another sip of his beer.

~~~

Justin couldn’t sleep, so he went over to the studio at PIFA.  He loved coming here.  All the art supplies, the smell, the feel of this place made him feel safe.  Brian’s words haunted him.  Was he talking about Kevin?  Andrew?  Them? 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening.  Justin looked up to see Kevin Riley standing in the doorway.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Kevin said, closing the door behind him.  “Your roommate said that I’d find you here.”

“Uhm…sure,” Justin was surprised to hear that he actually looked for him.

Kevin slowly made his way over to Justin. 

“Look, Mr. Riley…Kevin…I’m sorry,” Justin began.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Kevin replied.

“Yes, I do.  I acted like an idiot.  It’s just after…IT happened…things changed.  The way I look at the world, the way the world looks at me…It took a lot to get to where I am today, and I just don’t want…”

“Justin,” Kevin cut him off, “It doesn’t take away from who you are, from your hard work, from your talent.  All I’m doing is helping other people to see what I see when I look at you.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Justin asked.

“An amazingly strong and brave and a very talented young man.”

~~~ 

The whole gang was over at Deb’s, celebrating Justin’s big break.  They finished eating and were sitting in the living room, talking.  Deb was putting the leftover food in the fridge.  Justin got up and put his dish in the sink.  He was about to rejoin the rest of them in the living room, but stopped.  From where he stood he could watch all of them unnoticed.  His eyes focused on Brian.  He had Gus sitting on his lap and was saying something to him.  A private conversation between dad and son.  Justin smiled.  He loved watching Brian with Gus.  That was probably the only time when you could see the real Brian Kinney.  All guards and walls were down. 

He didn’t know how long he’s been standing there watching Brian when he heard Debbie next to him. 

“You can’t wait for him forever, Sunshine,” she said. 

He looked at her.  He wanted to tell her that he didn’t know what she was talking about, but he knew better.  She knew better.  He turned to look back at Brian. 

“Otherwise, you’ll turn into another Michael,” she finished, “And I don’t want that for you…HE doesn’t want that for you.”  Justin lowered his head.  “You have to find your own way and so does he and just hope that someday the two will meet again.”  Justin looked back up at her and nodded. 

~~~

When the class was finally over Justin practically sprinted out of the room. 

“Andrew!  Andrew, wait!”  He called after his friend.

Andrew stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“Please, I just need to talk to you,” Justin pleaded.

Slowly, Andrew turned to him.  “Ok, fine, talk.”  He was visibly upset.

Justin took a deep breath.

“Look, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.  I get it, ok?”

“I just…I freaked out.”

“Why?”

“I’ve only really been in one relationship.” 

The thing with Ethan didn’t really count.  Justin left for Italy a week after he left Brian.  They said their good-byes, both realizing that it would probably be the last time they’d ever see each other.   

“And it was complicated…and painful…and…” Justin was trying to find the words to make Andrew understand. 

“Brian, right?” Andrew cut him off. 

Justin looked away. 

“I knew it.”

Justin sighed. 

“Look, the point is…since him…I’ve only been with guys I didn’t know…one-night stands, backroom of Babylon…and it’s been great, you know.  The freedom of doing whatever the hell I want, whoever I want.”

“So, what’s the problem?” Andrew wanted him to finally get to the point.

“I don’t…I don’t think I want that anymore,” Justin finally said what was on his mind all this time.

“What do you want?”

Justin took a step closer and looked into his eyes, “You,” he said softly. 

Go to Part 4

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