Just Us - Part 1

Babylon

It was just another night at Babylon.  The music was pounding, hundreds of beautiful bodies on the dance floor. 

“Some things never change,” Ted said to Michael and Emmett as they watched Brian pull another one of his nameless tricks into the backroom. 

“It’s back to business as usual for Mr. Kinney,” Emmett added. 

Michael just shook his head.  Even though Brian pretended like it didn’t matter, he knew better.  Even though Brian never showed, Michael knew that Justin’s leaving killed Brian inside. 

“That’s just his way of dealing with it,” Michael tried to defend his best friend.  Both of his friends looked at him with a ‘yeah-right’ look.  Michael sighed.  “I’m gonna go tell him we’re leaving,” he responded. 

 Michael made his way through the backroom looking for Brian.  “Hey, Todd,” he said to the guy in the corner.  It seemed like that guy was in the backroom more than Brian, if that was at all possible.  “Hey, how’s it going?” Todd responded. 

 He finally saw Brian.  “We’re ready to leave,” he said to Brian.  Brian opened his eyes and looked at him. 

“So?” 

“Just thought you’d wanna know, that’s all,” Michael said as he turned around and walked away.  Brian just rolled his eyes. 

~~~

Next morning- the diner

“Sunshine!” They all heard Debbie exclaim. 

As they turned around they saw Debbie hugging Justin.  When Debbie finally let go of him Justin thought he would get a chance to actually breathe and put in a few words but he was wrong.  As soon as he was freed from her embrace, he was pulled into another and then another.  Lindsay, and Melanie, and Ted, and Emmett, and even Michael…they all kept kissing him and hugging him and asking him something that he couldn’t understand because they were all talking at the same time. 

Somehow they all made it to the booth they occupied before he walked in.

“When did you get back?” Lindsay asked him again. 

“Late last night.  The flight was delayed.” 

“So, how was it?”  Emmett asked impatiently.  Justin smiled. 

“It was absolutely amazing,” he answered, “All the museums and galleries, all the old buildings and architecture…” 

“And the cute Italian guys,” Ted added. 

“Ooh, they are the cutest,” Emmett said.  They all laughed. 

“So, did you meet any?” Deb asked. 

“Uhm…” 

“He did,” Ted answered for him noticing the slight blush on Justin’s cheeks.  Justin gave them a shy smile as he looked around the diner.  Michael noticed that realizing who he was looking for. 

“He’s not here,” he said, “He had an early meeting.” 

“Or an early fuck,” Ted added. 

He was about to say something else but noticed the ‘don’t go there’ look on Emmett’s face, so he just took a sip of his coffee.  Justin just smiled at him. 

“I should go anyway,” he said as he started getting up. 

“Where are you going?” Deb asked. 

“Apartment hunting,” he said with excitement, “Daphne and I decided to get an apartment together.” 

“Wow, can you really afford it?” Michael asked. 

“I got a school loan which was supposed to cover room and board, so I can just use it for the rent cost,” Justin explained. 

“That’s great, honey,” Debbie said. 

He gave her a peck on the cheek, waved to everybody and made his way out of the diner leaving them all to contemplate on just what was going to happen now that Justin was back.

~~~

“How about this one?”  Brian pointed to a toy. 

“He has one just like it only in green,” Lindsay said. 

“So what?”  He was wasting his lunch hour because Lindsay insisted that she go with him to look for a present for Gus’s birthday. 

“So, unless you want to keep all of the toys you’ve bought him at your place, we are going to buy him just ONE toy that he doesn’t have 10 different versions of.  Got it?” 

“Got it, mom,” he surrendered.  He’ll just buy Gus more presents the next week. 

“And no, you can’t buy him more presents until Christmas,” she added. 

He stared at her in surprise.  How did she know him so well?  “I wasn’t planning on it,” he answered turning around to look at more toys.  Lindsay gave him ‘yeah, right’ look and followed him.

Lindsay was trying to find the right time to bring it up.  Now seemed as good of a time as any. 

“We saw Justin today,” she said as a matter of fact waiting for any reaction from him. 

Brian felt like his heart skipped a beat.  He thanked G-d and everything holly that he was turned away from her so that she couldn’t see his face.  He finally got a hold of his emotions.  Still, not turning around he asked, “He’s back?” 

“Yes, got back last night.”  He just nodded in acknowledgement, still his back turned to her.  “You’re ok?”  she asked. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he answered, finally turning to her, the mask of “I don’t give a shit about anything” perfectly placed on his face. 

“Well, it’s just after everything that’s happened…”

“I’m fine,” he cut her off annoyed. 

“Good.  Then you won’t mind that Mel and I invited him to Gus’s birthday party?”  His looked at her in surprise, caught off guard.  Then smiled, tried to cover up the pain that he was sure was showing on his face right now.  “It’s fine,” he said as he walked away into another aisle.  

~~~

“What do you think?” Daphne asked him as they looked around.  The apartment was pretty small, but very clean, in a pretty good neighborhood.  The living room and both bedrooms had huge windows, which made the apartment very bright and made it seem bigger than it actually was.  The most important thing was that the rent was exactly what they were planning on.

 He looked at her, “I love it,” he said.  She smiled back at him and then turned to the landlord. 

“We’ll take it,” she said.

~~~

 Lindsay was so happy they didn’t invite as many people this year as they did last year, otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to fit them all in their house.  The plan was to have a party outside just like last year, except that it started raining just as everybody started to gather.  So, they all piled into their living room.  Still, the party was a big success. 
Gus was about done opening the presents and was impatiently waiting for Brian to feed him his piece of cake when she heard a knock on the door.  She looked at Brian with Gus once again and smiled before she walked into the hall to open the door. 

“Gus, no!” Brian shouted as he watched Gus take a piece of cake and practically rub it all over his and Brian’s shirts.  Everybody burst out laughing, including Gus.  Brian gathered his son in his arms and walked out of the room in search of his son’s mother. 

“Linds, Gus just rubbed cake all over….” His voice trailed off when he saw whom Lindsay was talking to. 

Lindsay looked from Justin to Brian and back to Justin.  They just stared at each other. 

“Hi,” Justin finally said. 

“Hey,” Brian answered. 

“Uhm…I’ll go clean him up.”  Lindsay took Gus from Brian and went into the bathroom, trying to give the two men some privacy. 

Brian watched her retrieve, not sure what to say, then looked back at Justin. 

“How was Italy?” he finally asked. 

Grateful that Brian finally broke the very awkward silence, Justin said, “It was great.”  Brian nodded and looked away.  He hasn’t seen Justin in almost three months. 

By the time they brought out the cake Brian was sure that Justin wasn’t coming.  The teen was rarely late.  He felt relieved and disappointed at the same time.  He of course would never admit it to anybody, but the truth was he missed Justin.  But at the same time he wasn’t sure what he’d say or do when he did finally see him.  He’s been pondering on that ever since Justin left, but now all that was over.  Justin was here, standing right in front of him.  And he still had no answer on what he should say or do.  He looked back at Justin.  God, he looked good.  Even better than before.  Italy definitely agreed with him.  Because of his tan his blue eyes seemed even bluer and his blond hair even blonder.  Also, his shoulders seemed wider, more built.  He looked more like a man and less like a teenager he last saw three months ago. 

“I should go,” Justin finally said as he started to grab the doorknob.

 Brian searched for something to say to get him to stay just a little while longer.  He couldn’t stop looking at him.  “You don’t…I mean…you don’t have to…” 

Justin smiled at him, “I know, thanks…but I really should.”  Justin turned to leave, then realized that he still had Gus’s presents in his hands.  “Uh…here,” he handed the teddy bear and something that was wrapped to Brian.  “He sings ‘Happy Birthday’ in Italian.” 

“Cool,” was all Brian could come up with. 

“Bye,” Justin looked up him one last time before walking out of the door.

 “Bye,” Brian whispered to a closed door. 

With another sigh Brian turned around and went to the kitchen, not ready to face the gang in the living room.  He put the teddy bear on the counter and unwrapped the other gift.  Before he removed the last of the wrapping paper he knew what it was.  It was a drawing of him and Gus.  Gus was lying on Brian’s chest, smiling at his daddy and Brian smiling at back at his son.  He couldn’t take his eyes off of it.  Only Justin could capture him so well. Anybody looking at that drawing could tell how much Brian adored his son. 

“Wow, that’s amazing.”  Startled, Brian turned to see Lindsay with Gus standing behind him. 

“Did you pose for this?”  Brian looked at her as if she was asking the dumbest question in the world. 

“Oh, right,” she said. 

“Can you imagine Gus posing for anything?” 

“Actually, I was thinking about you,” she said smiling.  Brian stuck out his tongue at her.  He turned to look at the drawing again. 

“I need a cigarette,” he said as he walked out of the house.

~~~

“Are you almost done?”  Jennifer asked her son who just walked down the stairs. 

“Yeah, there wasn’t much to pack.  See, it was a good thing I didn’t unpack when I moved out of Brian’s,” he said.  He tried to smile, but Jennifer saw through that. 

“Are you Ok, honey?” she asked. 

“I’m fine,” he said.  It sounded to her like he was trying to convince himself more than her.  He was hoping she’d drop it.  Tough luck.  She was looking at him with that “I’m your mother, I know better” look. 

“I’m sorry, Justin,” she said.  Justin looked at her surprised. 

“I thought you’d be happy.”  He knew very well that although his mother tried very hard to accept the fact that he was with Brian, she didn’t like the idea. 

“Happy?  That my son is unhappy?” Justin looked at his mother with love.

 She did want what was the best for him, no matter how much she didn’t like it.  He gave her a small smile.  “I just miss him.”  “It’s going to be ok, you’ll see,” she squeezed his hand slightly in reassurance.  But Justin didn’t believe her. 

~~~

“Ok, Ok, I’m coming, just stop the fucking banging,” Brian yelled out as he went to open the door.  He watched Lindsay and Gus walk through the doorway and closed the door behind them. 

“Sorry, Gus wanted to see his daddy,” she said. 

“You’re trying to tell me that it was Gus banging on the door?”  He said as he stood across from her at the kitchen counter.  She was busy taking Gus’s little jacket and hat off. 

“Coffee?” he asked.  She shook her head. 

“So, whatta hell are you doing here this early in the morning?”  He asked.

“I told you, Gus wanted to see you.” 

“Uh-hu.”  He wasn’t buying it.  He looked at her expecting some sort of a lecture.  There was no point of beating around the bush.  She pulled something out of her bag. 

“Gus wanted you to have it,” she handed Justin’s drawing to Brian.  He couldn’t believe she was doing this.  He exhaled, put the drawing down on the counter and started to walk away, not wanting to have the conversation he was sure was follow. 

“Brian,” she called after him.  He stopped and turned around.  “Look, I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business.”

”You’re right, it’s not.” 

“This is stupid.  He’s obviously just as miserable as you are.” 

“I am not miserable,” Brian finally said. 

“The fuck you’re not.”  Brian sighed, not liking where this conversation was heading.  “Why don’t you just go and talk to him?” 

Brian scratched his neck.  “About what?” 

She shrugged her shoulders.  They both knew about what. 

He shook his head.  “He made his decision.  There’s nothing left to say,” he said. Lindsay surrendered.  She knew that she pushed as far as she possibly could. 

“Just think about it, ok?”  She kissed him on the check, picked up Gus and left.  Brian didn’t move from his spot until she shut the door behind her.  Then he walked over to the counter where she left the drawing.  He picked it up and stared at it. 

~~~

 “Need some help with that?” Justin turned in the direction the voice was coming from. 

“How did you know where to find me?” he asked. 

“Deb,” Brian simply said. 

“Oh.  What are you doing here?”  Brian inhaled, then held his breath.

 “Uhm, you left this at my place,” he held the computer that he bought for Justin the year before when he had problems drawing.  “You probably don’t need to use it anymore, but I thought you could use it for…I don’t know… something.” 

Justin looked at the computer, then back at Brian.  He felt as if something was stuck in his throat because he couldn’t breathe.  All the memories of the last year…last two years came flooding back.  If it weren’t for Brian and this computer he probably wouldn’t have been drawing now.  He wasn’t even sure if he’d be here right now.  He took the box from Brian. 

“Thank you,” was all he could say. 

Brian nodded in response as he began to walk away. 

“Brian, wait.” Justin called after him. 

He turned around.  Here it comes. 

“Is this how things are gonna be like from now on?”

“Like what?” Brian asked, trying to buy time to come up with an answer knowing exactly what he was talking about. 

“Like this…this awkward,” Justin explained.  Brian looked away, not having an answer.  He hated it as much as Justin did. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” Justin said. 

“Do what?”  Brian looked at him. 

“The whole breaking up thing.  I’ve never done this before.”  Brian chuckled. 

“Me neither.”  Justin smiled. 

“So, what do we do?” 

Brian sighed.  He really didn’t know. 

“Well, double suicide is always an option,” he joked in response.  Neither of them laughed, though. 

“Do you want me to disappear?” Justin held his breath. 

He hated not having Brian in his life, not being a part of Brian’s life, but leaving him was Justin’s decision.  And he’d just have to live with it.  He didn’t want to hurt Brian more than he already had.  And if Brian wanted him out of his life for good, Justin was ready to do it for him.  Besides, Debbie and the diner and the guys and everything else were Brian’s first.  It was only fair. 

Brian was surprised by the question even though he thought about it all summer long.  And the conclusion was…he wanted Justin in his life…he needed Justin in his life…in whatever role he could get him. 

“No,” he finally answered. 

Justin felt like a rock was lifted off his shoulders.  He wasn’t sure what he’d do if he got a different answer. 

“I should go,” Brian said. 

“Later,” Justin said as Brian climbed into the jeep. 

“Later,” Brian smiled.  It was a commonly used word, but somehow they made it theirs.  He looked at him one last time before driving away. 

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