DEBBIE:

“Hey, Deb, can we get some service over here?”  That’s Brian’s patented greeting when he comes into the diner.  Instead of ‘hello’ or ‘how are you doing?’. 

“Morning,” Sunshine smiles at me, as he settles Gus down next to Brian and then slides into the booth across from the two Kinney men.

“Good morning, baby.”  I plant a big kiss leaving a bright red smudge on his pale little cheek.

“Mooonin,” Gus repeats as well, looking so much like Brian, but smiling just like Sunshine.

And of course I have to kiss the little man, as Justin calls him, as well.  Brian gives me a warning look that says, ‘If you come near me, I’ll shoot….something.’

“What are you boys doing out so early?” 

“We spent all day yesterday and last night with Gus, since we’re not gonna see him for two weeks,” Sunshine explains, since it’s obvious Mr. Wonderful over here is not going to say a word.

“That’s great, honey.”  They’re leaving later tonight.  I can’t imagine not having Sunshine in the house for two weeks.  I guess I should be grateful that he didn’t move to Brian’s right away.  Which I think is kind of a sore subject between them right now.  I think Brian really wants him to move back, but Justin’s standing his ground.  Good for him.  He needs to show Mr. I-Get-Everything-My-Way that he needs to learn how to compromise if he wants to make the relationship work this time. 

I have to say, it was a shock for all of us to find out that they were back together.  And had been for a while.  Apparently since this past summer, and without telling any of us.  But, I have to agree with Vic:  they did have a good reason to do so.  I still can’t believe the guys took bets on how long they would last.  I’m sure Brian and Justin knew about it, so, of course they didn’t tell us.  Who in their right mind would tell their friends who bet on how fast they’d fail that they were giving it another shot?  Not me, that’s for damn sure.  And these boys, they’re smart.  And in love.  And more importantly, willing to make this work.  I’ve seen it.  In the last two weeks I’ve seen just how much they both have changed when it comes to each other.  I saw it the moment the two of them walked down the stairs and stared at us, lost for words. 

Michael looked like he saw a ghost when he first ran into the living room, all excited.  And when he told us what he saw in his room, I was quick to blame it on the boys having a little too much to drink.  That it just sort of happened.  And I was also ready to rip them a new one for not using their heads.  I mean, they were each supposed to be happily seeing somebody else, somebody new.  How dare they ruin their happiness with one act of stupidity and lack of control? 

But when they walked down the stairs, hand-in-hand, I knew it.  I just knew it. 

“So, what will you have?” I ask, taking out my order pad.

“Cinnamon-apple pancakes for me,” Sunshine orders first.

“Me too,” Gus adds.  He copies everything Justin does, which I think is absolutely adorable.

“And milk for Gus,” Justin adds.

“And you?” I turn to the grumpy one in the trio.

“Coffee.  Black.”

I notice Justin frown at him.  They share a look and then Sunshine turns to me.  “And a donut.”

Brian gives him another look, but doesn’t say a word, so I move over to the counter to get the coffee and milk.

When I come back Gus is already sitting next to Justin.  I put the milk down and Justin, like a perfect father, hands the glass to Gus and helps him hold it while the boy drinks it slowly.  I get worried that Brian might get resentful or unhappy that Gus prefers to sit next to Justin, to spend more time with Justin.  But when I look at him I’m left speechless.  Brian’s eyes are fixed on the two boys, not even noticing that I’m there.  It’s like nothing else exists for him right now.  Just these two people…the most important people in his life.  He’s completely mesmerized by them, amazed that the two of them love each other as much as he loves them.  The two men that changed his life completely.  I can tell that he just loves watching them together like that: his lover feeding his son.  Not often do I get to see that look in Brian’s eyes:  the look of contentment and happiness.

Without either of them noticing me, I make myself move away from the table.

A little later when I bring out the food, all is right with the world again.  Gus is being a loud toddler, Justin is trying to clean up the spilled sugar, and Brian’s watching the whole thing indifferently.

“What time is it?” Sunshine asks when I put the food down.

“A little after nine,” I reply.

“Oh, shit,” he jumps up.  “I have to go.”

The indifferent look is now gone from Brian’s face.  “Where?”

“I promised Michael I’d stop by the store to finalize the ideas for the next issue.”

“Can’t you do that when you come back from the trip?” Brian asks, none too happy about this development.

“I still have to go home and finish packing,” he says quickly while handing Gus back to his father.

Brian sighs, frowning.  ”Fine.  Be ready at six.”

“I will,” Justin replies, kissing him quickly.  “Bye, little man,” Justin says, placing a kiss on Gus’s little cheek. 

“Bye,” Gus replies, his lower lip already beginning to tremble.

“Remember what I said?”

Gus sniffles and nods, but doesn’t cry when Justin waves to him and walks out the door.

“Come here, Sonny boy, we’ve got pancakes to eat,” Brian says, pulling the kid onto his lap. 

And I just can’t help myself.  I lean down and kiss the little asshole.  “You did good, kiddo, you did real good.”

He gives me his usual look when I get all motherly on him.  The one that says, “Debbie Novotny has completely lost her mind,” and I must have, because for the first time since I met Brian I’m not worried about him.  I move to another table as Brian gets back to feeding his son.

~~~***~~~***~~~

MICHAEL:

“Sorry, I’m late,” Justin says as soon as he runs through the door.

“It’s ok,” I reply.  They are leaving tonight, so I assumed he’d be busy finishing packing and such.

We make our way into the back of the store where all of the Rage stuff is set up.

“So, where did we leave off?” he asks, flopping down on the floor as he usually does.  It’s a habit for him, working on Rage, while sitting on the floor in the middle of the room.  I honestly don’t know how he can sit like that for more than five minutes.  My butt falls asleep and I can’t feel my legs for the next two hours when I do that.  I guess it doesn’t matter what you sit on and how you sit when you’re young.

“Getting Rage and JT back together.”  This issue has just been a pain in the ass.  Well, Jake, the editor from hell, has been a pain in the ass about it.  We wanted to have Rage do his hero thing and save JT and that’s how they get back together, but he decided that he wanted something less comic book-like and more personal, more human.  Which is what we’ve been trying to figure out for the past two weeks.

“Oh, right,” Justin sighs.  I think he’s even more sick of this storyline than I am.  Maybe because everybody’s been bugging him about how he and Brian got back together, which neither of them is revealing.

I try another tactic.  “You know,” I say, sitting down next to him, ”JT and Rage ARE based on you and Brian…”

“No way,” he shakes his head.

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

“Oh, yes, I do.  And no way am I telling you.”

“But it’s for Rage,” I argue.

“Michael, no.  I’m not putting my personal life in a comic book for everybody to see,” he stands up and walks over to the window.

I follow.  “You already did.  With the bashing and everything.”

“That was different.  THIS is different.”

“I don’t understand what the big secret is,” I say.  And I don’t.  They kept this a secret from us for months.  I mean, we’re friends.  Justin and I see each other every day.  And Brian?  Brian’s supposed to be my best friend and supposed to tell me these things.  And when I asked him about it he just shrugged and in his nonchalant voice that made me want to smack him around a few times said, “It has nothing to do with you, Mikey.”  Of course it does!  He’s my best friend.  We’re supposed to tell each other everything.  But of course Brian sees it differently.  Especially since Justin came into his life.  Well, our lives, really.  Because that definitely changed everything.  Not just for Brian.  But for me as well.  For everybody in our little family.  

Not saying it has been all bad.  Mostly it’s been good.  I’ve got the bratty little brother I never wanted.  Ma’s got another son.  Uncle Vic sees Justin as his son as well.  Lindsay and Melanie act like Justin’s big sisters.  And Emmett just absolutely adores Justin.  Even Ted seems to like Justin.  And Brian?  Brian’s in love.  I mean, really, truly in love.  He doesn’t even try to hide it anymore.  I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been the past two weeks.  Of course, I spent the last two weeks trying to get the image of Justin’s hand down Brian’s pants out of my brain, but in the process I couldn’t help but notice the hand holding, the little pecks when they think nobody’s watching, the dancing at Babylon which has the whole community still reeling with the news and gossip.  The royal couple has returned!  I’m sure there was some sort of an announcement in the latest edition of Pittsburgh Out.  Had to be.  Brian and Justin getting back together was probably as big of news as the two of them breaking up two years ago. 

“Of course you don’t understand, Michael.  This isn’t your life.  It’s mine.  And Brian’s.”

He’s right.  Ma’s right.  They’ve been through too much.  We should just leave them alone and let them work on their relationship the way they want.  We all did enough damage the first time around.  Well, some of us more than others, but not anymore. 

“Well, we gotta come up with something,” I say, giving in.  We’ll just have to think of something else. 

He sighs, relieved, and returns to his spot on the floor.  “Ok, how about this?  Remember you wanted to have a gang of frat guys attacking the geeks and gays on campus?  Well, what if we have JT and Rage both investigating those attacks separately?  And they both end up in the same place, like an abandoned building or something and get stranded there?”

He’s good.  “And then what?”

“Well, we end this issue on a cliffhanger, with the two of them alone in that building.  And devote the next issue to the two of them getting back together?  It’ll be like a two-parter sort of thing.”

He’s REALLY good.  “I like that.  That way we don’t rush through the story.”

“Exactly.  And we can also give the readers what they really want, which is lots and lots of…”

“Rage and JT sex,” I finish for him and we both smile.  That’s when it occurs to me.  He just came up with this idea on the fly?  Maybe that’s what happened with him and Brian.  Minus the gang of the frat guys, of course.  Maybe they got stuck somewhere, just the two of them, and finally started talking.  Or knowing them, fucking.

“No,” he says, shaking his head.

“What?”

“That is not how we got back together,” he says. 

How the fuck does he do that?  I remember once Brian told me that Justin could read his mind.  But this is different.  Brian’s his lover.  I’m just…a friend. 

“Nice try though,” he smirks at me. 

Asshole.  He just loves annoying me like that.  Because he knows something about Brian that I don’t.  That I probably never will.  No, definitely never will.  That chapter of my life is closed.  Brian and I will always remain just friends.  And the most amazing thing is that I’m not upset about it.  I love Brian.  Always will.  But we’re friends.  All we ever will be.  I’m in love with Ben.  And Brian’s in love with Justin.  There’s no doubt in my mind about that.  Brian loves Justin.  Justin makes Brian happy.  And honestly that’s all I care about.  That my best friend is happy.  That BOTH of them are happy.  I look at Justin, who’s gathering up his things now and wonder if Brian makes him happy as well.  He doesn’t need much, I know that.  Justin’s not picky or whiny or demanding.  He just wants Brian to love him.  Simple as that.  And I know that Brian knows that.  He has to.  But I can’t help but wonder whether Brian can give him that.  Whether Brian even said those three little words.  But I guess I’ll never know.  And that’s ok too.

~~~***~~~***~~~

TED:

“Theodore Schmidt, stalking your boyfriend again, I see.”

I turn around to give Brian a piece of my mind.  “It’s called wanting to be with the man I love, Bri.  A foreign concept to you, I’m sure.”  I immediately regret saying this.  I know that he and Justin had it rough and they’re not in it just for fucking this time.  Although, from the gossip on Liberty, they’re about evenly matched in that department, the best ones out there.  So, I guess being with the best is only natural.  But I really doubt Brian would get into the whole relationship game just for that.  He can get THAT anywhere, anytime, with anybody, and with fewer complications.  But he wants Justin.  That’s obvious to anybody who’s seen those two together. 

“Spending quality time on your lunch hour?  Yes, a foreign concept,” he glares at me.  Thankfully, Gus, who’s in his arms, distracts him from me.  I’ll have to remember to buy the kid a toy. 

“Shouldn’t you be at Chucky Cheese or McDonald’s or something?” I ask when he starts going through a rack of clothes.  Emmett’s been stuck in the back for a while now and I’m getting very bored. 

Brian turns around and looks at me.  “I’m trying to instill some good fashion sense in my kid.”

“And with two dykes for his mothers he’ll need all the help he can get, poor baby,” Emmett says, finally coming back.  “I mean, have you seen those hideous hats Lindsay puts him in?  It’s enough to scar the child for life.”

I roll my eyes.  Emmett and his fashion speeches.  I think I have most of them memorized by now.

“Not if I can help it,” Brian says.

I can actually imagine Brian’s head exploding when Gus shows up wearing jeans bought at the Big Q.  I kind of hope he does.  What an irony that would be, a label queen with a sun who has no fashion taste at all.  “I’m sure your boyfriend would love to help you mold the young man’s mind,” I snicker.

Brian scoffs at that.  “The Old Navy poster boy?”

“Yeah, the poor boy doesn’t have the best taste when it comes to clothes,” Emmett makes a face.  “Which is strange, considering he’s an artist.”  I honestly don’t understand what their problem is with the way Justin dresses.  He likes to be comfortable and he IS only twenty-one.  “But he does look adorable in his cargo pants and little shirts,” Emmett adds.

“Where is Justin, anyway?” I ask.  In the last two weeks, since the big revelation, we’ve barely seen them separately.  Always together, as if they were joined at the hip.

“Jusin!” Gus shouts, startling me.

“Thanks a fucking lot,” Brian growls at me.  “Do you know how long it took me to calm him down?”  He shifts the kid in his arms because Gus is starting to get antsy, looking around for Justin, I guess.  Which is completely understandable.  Who wouldn’t prefer Justin to Brian? 

Brian had always been envied.  He always had everything everybody else on Liberty Avenue wanted.  The looks, the loft, the job, the dick.  He had it all.  Add to that a hot blonde twink who would give up his life for him and you have the definition of the luckiest man on earth, or at least in Pittsburgh. 

“Ooh, that reminds me.  I promised Justin I’d help him pack.”  Emmett looks at me apologetically.  Because once again he blows me off, and not in a good way.

“Shouldn’t you be packing as well?” I ask Brian, choosing not to look at my boyfriend.

“Unlike little Sunshine, I don’t get my kicks packing two hours before my flight.” 

He puts Gus, who hasn’t stopped squirming, down, and the kid heads straight for a shelf with silk shirts.  He grabs a dark blue one and at the top of his lungs screams, “Jusin!”

Amused, all three of us walk over to where the kid’s standing, clutching the shirt in his hands.  He holds it out for Brian.  “Jusin.”

Brian dutifully takes the shirt from Gus and holds it out in front of him, looking it over.  Then looks down at his son.  “You want to get this for Justin, Sonnyboy?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that would look darling on Justin,” Emmett chimes in.

“There’s hope for him yet,” I say to Brian about Gus, while Emmett rings him up.

~~~***~~~***~~~

DAPHNE:

“Hey,” Justin says, getting in the passenger seat.  “Thanks for doing this.”

“Thanks for fitting me into your busy schedule,” I reply, pulling away from the curb.

“Bitch,” he smiles.

“You’re in a good mood,” I comment.  He just can’t wipe that smile off his face.  He’s been like that ever since he called me the morning after Thanksgiving to tell me that he and Brian were back together…and had been for quite some time, too.

I still don’t know how or why they got back together.  All I know is that it happened this past summer.  Justin was pretty vague about who made the first move.  From what he said, it just sort of happened on its own.  Which I really doubt.  Nothing with those two JUST happens.  They always have to work hard for it.  But it had been obvious to all, or at least most of us, that those two idiots belonged together.  We were just waiting for the two of them to realize that as well.

“I’m in a great mood.  I can’t wait to get on that plane,” he says, grinning from ear to ear, which makes me smile, too.  It must have been hard for him to hide that happiness from everybody.  I don’t think I would have been able to do that.  What’s even more amazing, though, is Brian’s behavior.  I don’t know how he is around his friends, but when I see him with Justin, he seems like a completely different person.  Oh, he’s still sarcastic and edgy and sexy as hell, but he’s also not afraid to ask Justin if he’ll call him right in front of other people.  He’s not afraid to show he cares anymore.

A couple of days ago the two of us stopped by the loft because Justin forgot his sketchpad there.  If you ask me, he just missed Brian, but didn’t want to say it.  Anyway, I just stood there watching the two of them.  At first there was nothing out of the ordinary:  the two of them mauling each other as usual.  But then…they were smiling and giggling like two little kids.  Happy kids.  I couldn’t take my eyes off them.

“I am so jealous.  I’m spending Christmas stuck in freezing Pittsburgh with my family while you take your boyfriend to the sunny land.”

“Two weeks, just me and Brian, the beach and the sun,” he brags.

“Go ahead, rub it in.” 

He grins again. 

“Asshole.”

His grin only gets wider.

I decide to change the subject.  “So, did you give him the present yet?”

He shakes his head.  “No, I’m taking it with me.  I’ll give it to him Christmas morning.”

“What about him?  Is he getting you anything?”

He shrugs.  “Brian doesn’t believe in Christmas.  He does get presents for Debbie and Vic, and sends something to his mom, but he doesn’t really believe in that.  Which, with his fucked up family history, is completely understandable.”

He frowns and I feel sorry for Brian.  I don’t know much, but from what I do know, Brian’s childhood pretty much SUCKED. 

“Besides, he already got me something,” Justin adds.

“He did?”

He smiles again, nodding.  “He insists that it’s not a Christmas present, but I KNOW it is.”

“What is it?”  I ask, curiously. 

“A shirt.  It’s white and has a thing in the front that looks like a halo or sun or something.”

I look over at Justin and I can’t help but smile at him.  Sunshine.  That’s what Brian calls him.  That’s what everybody calls him now, but when Brian says it, it has a completely different meaning.  And Justin knows that, too. 

I don’t ask anymore.  Don’t have to.  All I need to know is that Justin’s happy.  He’s with the man of his dreams. 

I look back on the road as I drive him to his next destination.

~~~***~~~***~~~

LINDSAY:

I open the door to find two very unhappy people on the other side.  But all I want to do is laugh.  They look so much alike, same expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, what happened?”

Brian just gives me a look and carries Gus into the living room.

“Everything ok?”  I close the door and follow them in. 

“Everything was great until Justin decided to skip out on us.  Then all hell broke loose.”  Brian’s taking Gus’s winter jacket off.  Then sheds his own.

I personally try very hard not to laugh when Gus’s ears perk up at the mention of Justin’s name.  “So, who misses Justin more?  Gus or daddy?”

Brian glares at me.  “Bitch.”

I sit down on the couch next to them.  “How did he behave himself?”

“Who?  Justin?”

And I do laugh at that.  I think it’s so adorable the way Brian’s first thoughts are on Justin.  “I think Justin’s behavior is the only one out of all of you that I don’t have to worry about.”

Brian rolls his eyes.  “Look, just because he has the innocent act down pat, doesn’t mean that he’s actually innocent.  Trust me, I know.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” I say, pulling my son into my arms.  I haven’t seen him in twenty-four hours.  “By the way, he stopped by a little while ago to say good-bye.  He thought you’d be back by then.”

“We went shopping and then to the park,” Brian says.  I can tell that he’s not too happy about missing Justin.

“Are you hungry?  You must be,” I say, getting up. 

But he, of course, shakes his head.  “No, we had pancakes at the diner.”

“Pacakes,” Gus repeats.  He talks more and more every day. 

“I probably won’t eat for a week,” Brian adds.

“Oh, you poor baby, Justin actually made you eat.”

He shoots me another look.  “Justin does NOT make me eat or do anything I don’t want to do.”

“Whatever you say,” I snicker, sitting back down.

“Linds.”

“Bri.”

“Lindsay.”

“Brian.”

He sighs exasperatedly.  “Why do I feel like we’re back in college?”

I smile.  “Who would have thought then that we’d end up here?”

We both look over at Gus.  I dreamed of it, I’ll admit.  I still do sometimes.  Having a child with Brian.  Being with Brian.  But those are just dreams.  Nothing more.  I’m with a woman I love and Brian’s with a man that he loves.  Which is a dream I’m sure he never wanted to come true.  Or at least he thought so.

“So, how are things with Justin?” 

He stares at me for a moment, then looks away.  “Fine.”

“Are you ever going to give me a little more detail than that?”

“No.”

“Brian, I’m just trying…”

“You’re trying to meddle in something that is none of your business,” he says harshly. 

“I just want to make sure that everything’s going well,” I explain.  I worry about them both constantly.  Worry that Brian will start taking Justin for granted again.  That Justin will seek greener pastures somewhere else.

“I told you, it’s fine,” he stands up.

“You don’t have to leave,” I quickly say, when he picks up his jacket.  That’s what Brian does.  Any time you try to have a serious conversation with him, he bolts.

“Yeah, I do.”  He puts his jacket on and heads out.

“Brian, I’m sorry.  I really am,” I call after him.

He sighs and turns around.  “I know.  I just…” he looks away.  “I know you care, but stop, ok?  That was the reason we didn’t tell you about it.  You all care too much.”

“But…”

“I’m serious, Linds.  It’s hard enough without having the pressure of our friends’ caring.  Just let us do it our way.”

He’s right.  Of course, he’s right.  I know we all played a part in their break up before.  We nagged and meddled and put our noses where they didn’t belong.  He’s right.  It has to stop.  It’s their lives. 

“I’m sorry,” I say again, for the lack of anything else to say.

He gives me a peck on the cheek.  “See you in two weeks.”

I watch him drive off and I can’t help but smile.  He’s so protective of Justin, but more importantly, of their relationship.  I just know it will work this time.  It HAS to work this time.

~~~***~~~***~~~

EMMETT:

“Oh, baby, I’m so happy for you!” I exclaim, trying to fight the happy tears.  I get up quickly, pulling Justin into my arms, again.  The boy smiles at me with his beautiful smile.

I finally let him go.  He really needs to get a move on if he wants to make the flight.

“You have it all, baby,” I sigh happily.  “You’re doing great in college, you already have a successful art career.”  Rage is becoming huge.  “AND the man you love is whisking you away on a dream vacation!”

He shoots me a look.  “Actually, I’m…” he pauses, trying to decide whether he should say any more.  Which, of course, picks my curiosity.  He and Brian have been incredibly secretive about their relationship.  Gossip queens like yours truly have been hard pressed to find any details of their certainly steamy reunion. 

“What is it, honey?” I ask, when a frown replaces the happy look that was plastered on his face just moments before.

He sighs and looks away.  “Nothing.  It’s nothing.”  He picks up a shirt and starts folding it.

But I can tell that there’s something on his mind.  Something that bothers him a great deal.

“Sweetie, you know you can tell me anything, right?”  I put my hand on his.  I know that what happens in their relationship is between them, but sometimes a boy needs a sympathetic ear and a comforting shoulder that doesn’t belong to his boyfriend.

He looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes and nods.  “I know.”

“I smile at him, reassuringly.

“I…uh…Brian’s not taking me on vacation.”

Oh, no.  Not again.  This is not happening.  Did they have a fight?  Did they break up AGAIN?  “Did something happen?”  I try to hide my panic.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he shakes his head.  And I sigh in relief.

“I’m taking him,” he explains and my eyes grow wide again.

“What?  But how can you afford that?”

He shrugs.  “I’ve got some money saved up from Rage and mom gave me a bunch for Christmas and my birthday.”  I remember he told me that before.

“I don’t understand.”  I really don’t.  I’m sure Brian can afford to pay for himself and Justin.  And I tell Justin as much.

“That wasn’t’ the point,” he replies.  “It was my idea.  I asked him to go with me.  It’s only fair that I pay.”

“I’m not sure if I want to kiss that boy or smack him silly.  “But, sweetie, you barely have any money.  Shouldn’t you save it?”

“I have enough.”

I don’t know what else to say, which let’s be honest, doesn’t happen very often.

He sighs as he sits down on the bed next to me, his shirt still clutched in his hands.  “I just don’t want…I…I don’t want people to think that I’m with Brian because he has money.  I don’t want Brian to think that.”

This boy just continues to amaze me.  “Honey, nobody thinks that.  Everybody knows how much you love him.  HE knows how much you love him.”

But Justin shakes his head.  “I don’t want him to think that he HAS to take care of me either.  Like I’m his responsibility.” 

I sigh, moving closer to him and putting my hand on his shoulder.  “Baby, you have to know how much he loves you.  Everybody knows it.  Everybody can see it.  If he takes care of you, it’s because he wants to, NOT because he feels obligated.”  I hope he believes me.  I know that in the past we’ve all been on Brian’s case about Justin being his responsibility.  I’m sure it was one of the reasons he resisted it so much.  But I also know that Brian would give up his life for the boy, no, man, the beautiful man sitting next to me.  And it’s not because he HAS to.

Justin squeezes out a smile for me.  “We should get back to packing.  Brian will kill me if we miss our plane.  I’m making him fly coach as it is.”

Brian Kinney flying coach?  Hmmm.  Now THAT is something I’d pay big bucks to see.

Go to Justin's POV

HOME