Assignment - Part 14:

 Crush

Main Entry: ¹crush
Pronunciation: 'kr&sh
Function: verb
Transitive senses
1 a : to squeeze or force by pressure so as to alter or destroy structure

   b : to squeeze together into a mass
2 : Hug, Embrace
3 : to reduce to particles by pounding or grinding
4 a : to suppress or overwhelm as if by pressure or weight

   b : to oppress or burden grievously

   c : to subdue completely
5 : Crowd, Push.

 ~~~***~~~***~~~ 

“I can’t believe you went to see him,” Daphne said once again, unable to come to terms with what Justin had just told her.

The two friends sat on a bench in the park not too far away from Justin’s house, drinking coffee, talking, and enjoying the uncharacteristically warm January day. 

“Me neither,” Justin agreed.  “If somebody at the Agency finds out, I’m toast.”

“How would they find out?”

Justin gave her an incredulous look.  “How do they find out everything else?  Did you forget who we work for?”

Daphne sighed.  “I know, but the only ones who know about you going to see your dad are me and Brian.  And obviously neither one of us is going to talk.”

Justin smiled.  As he once told Brian, Daphne was the only one in his life that he could trust unconditionally.  Which was why he had told her about his meeting with Craig Taylor.  While he knew that Brian wouldn’t judge him for that, Justin didn’t feel comfortable enough talking to Brian about it; discussing his father – the wanted terrorist – with his boyfriend who also happened to be the CIA operative searching for the aforementioned terrorist. 

But he needed to talk about it, to voice his feelings, his fears, to somehow sort them all out in his head.  And Daphne was always the person he went to for that.

“So, when are you coming back?” Daphne asked.

“Two weeks.  Finally,” Justin responded.  “They still want me to keep seeing the shrink, though.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

Justin shook his head.  “It’s pointless.  How does talking about some shitty thing that happened to me help me get over the shitty thing that happened to me?  I mean, seriously?  She doesn’t know what it feels like, doesn’t know what it’s like to do what I do.  She just sits there and nods most of the time.” 

The truth was that he was getting better.  The nightmares were not as common as they once were and he didn’t feel a panic come over him every time somebody came up behind him anymore.  But Justin believed his progress had little to do with the two meetings a week that he was required to attend with the CIA therapist and everything to do with Brian.  They were spending almost all of their free time together.  Well, almost all of Brian’s free time, since Justin had nothing but free time these days.

“Obviously, she knows what she’s doing if the CIA employs her,” Daphne offered.

The blond couldn’t help but snort.  “It’s all bullshit.  It’s not like we don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into when we join the Agency.  I knew there were risks involved.  And I took those risks.’

“Are you…are you sorry you did?”

Justin glanced at her, then turned away, watching an older couple walking a dog go past them.  The obvious answer was ‘no’.  Except, Justin found himself hesitating to answer.  It wasn’t the first time the thought had occurred to him.  But usually he did a better job of pushing it away.  He gave her a lame ‘I guess not’.  But he couldn’t shake off the troubling thought.

“You’re a great agent, Justin.  One of the best on the force,” she said, supportively.

Justin smiled at her cheerleading ways. 

“Sometimes I wonder.  What if I made the wrong choice?”

“Well, that’s the nice thing about choices.  You can always make a different one.”

Justin nodded and brought the styrofoam cup to his lips, Daphne’s words echoing inside his head.

~~~***~~~***~~~

About half an hour later, after the cold finally started to get to them, Daphne dropped Justin off in front of his townhouse before going to work.  Even before he got out of the car, Justin saw Brian – his black Jeep in the driveway. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” he asked smiling as he accepted a ‘hello’ kiss from his boyfriend.

“Got back from Spain early,” Brian explained.  “Figured we could use a break.”

“A break?”

Brian nodded.  “How do you feel about Vermont?”

To say that hearing those words come out of Brian’s mouth was unexpected would have been an understatement.  Justin’s facial expression showed as much.  “Vermont?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Brian was quick to add.  “We will not be going anywhere near a courthouse.  I just thought since you’re going back to work in a couple of weeks and I haven’t taken a vacation in…well, a long time, we could use some time off.”

“Together.”  While hearing anybody else in the world say those words to him would have made it clear to Justin what the intention of the other person was, with Brian, however, you had to be careful not to assume anything. 

“Yes, together,” Brian simply answered, much to Justin’s surprise.

“Uhm…”  He wasn’t sure what to say.  Going away on vacation wasn’t something Justin allowed himself to even dream about.

“I already got my shit packed.”

Justin’s eyes widened in surprise once again.  “Well, you, Mr. Kinney are full of surprises.”  Smiling, he raised his lips to Brian’s. 

“Now, off to pack,” Brian said when they pulled apart, following Justin up the stairs and through the front door.

~~~***~~~***~~~

“It’s not bad,” Brian commented as the two made their way to their room for the first time that day. 

It was their third day in Vermont and Justin couldn’t remember the last time he felt so…happy.  That was the word – one that Justin rarely used in relation to himself and his life.  But he really was happy now.  With the man that he loved, away from all the troubles and worries of his job and family life.  The moment he got in the passenger side of Brian’s jeep, he felt all the tension and anxiety flow out of his body, leaving him completely content.

“I thought you said you hadn’t skied in a years,” Justin pointed out as he removed his wet ski jacket. 

“I haven’t,” Brian answered, flopping down on the small couch, his jacket slung over the back of the overstuffed chair.  “But it’s like riding a bicycle.  You just remember.”

“Bullshit,” Justin laughed, slumping down next to Brian.  “I skied with my parents every winter when I was a kid, and I suck at it.”

“You don’t suck,” Brian offered, which only made Justin laugh harder.

“No, you’re right.  I fall on my ass instead.”

Brian’s face was graced with a soft smile.  “Well, at least you got some cushion back there to break the fall.”

Justin pretended to be offended, slapping his lover’s arm playfully.  “Unlike you.”

“Which is why I had to stay upright.”

“Couldn’t afford to bruise your boney ass?”

“I do not have a boney ass,” Brian shot back, defensively.  “I have a very nice ass.  With meat in all the right places.”

Justin snickered.  “What meat?  It’s just skin and bones down there.”  He reached his hand behind Brian, cupping the brunet’s butt cheek to make his point.

Brian quickly snatched his hand away, getting a firm hold on it.  Directing it down to the front of his pants, he let Justin cup his dick instead.  “How about here?”  He smirked slyly at the blond.

Justin took the hint right away, leaning down to capture Brian’s lips while his hand worked on freeing the object in question from the confines of Brian’s ski pants.

Brian’s arms went around Justin’s body, pressing him close against Brian’s.  He then carefully rolled them off the edge of the couch and onto the floor, so that now he was on top of Justin, blanketing the smaller man’s body with his own.

“So, tell me, Agent Taylor,” Brian said, smiling down at the younger man.  “How is it that you can shoot a gun, climb tall buildings, jump off bridges, disable a man twice your size with one kick, but you cannot stay upright on skis?”

Justin laughed.  “Childhood trauma.”

Brian’s eyebrow arched in amusement. 

“The first time dad took us skiing was a horrible experience.  I was fine on the little bunny hill, but then he insisted that I go on this large one.  He got me up there and then said, ‘Go’.

“And what happened then?”

“Then?  I went.  Down the fucking hill on my fucking ass.”

Brian couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“Asshole,” Justin playfully slapped the brunet’s arm.  “It scared the shit out of me.”

Brian managed to stifle a laugh.  “So, what happened after?  Did you conquer the bad hill?”

“No,” Justin pouted for an added dramatic affect.  “I somehow got to the bottom in one piece.  Stood up.  Took the fucking skis off and said ‘I’m never doing that again.’”

Brian had to hide his head in the folds of Justin’s sweater in order not to laugh out loud. 

“So, why the fuck did you agree to come here then?” he asked, finally getting his laughter under control.

“Well, I didn’t think we were actually gonna ski,” Justin pointed out.  While their trip did not lack in the activities Justin was most interested in, one could never have too many of those and Justin was hinting at exactly that fact.  Which, of course, was not really required at the moment – Brian’s hard cock pressing against his thigh being a testament to that.

“Really?  And what pray tell did you think we were gonna do here?” Brian asked, putting on his best innocent smile.

Justin’s response was a mischievous smile and a slight push as he quickly rolled them over on the floor so that now he was the one lying on top.

He dipped his head down to capture Brian’s lips, lapping up the taste of his lover mixed with an already fading taste of black coffee and a cigarette that Brian consumed before they came back to the room. 

Reluctantly, Justin pulled away, his hands already busy with removing many layers of clothing that Brian had on.  Thankfully, the brunet was just as eager to have Justin and himself undressed and ready for business.  He sat up, letting Justin pull his black sweater off and then helped Justin do the same.  Their pants were next on the agenda, which proved to be more difficult – the pants being wet from the remnants of the melted snow.  Justin didn’t let it derail him, though, and soon enough Brian was rid of them as well as his underwear – lying sprawled on the beige, heavy rug in the middle of the suite, Justin straddling his hips. 

The blond moved down his lover’s body, covering it with hard, wet kisses as he worked his way toward Brian’s already leaking cock.  Justin rubbed the shaft with his own hard on, still trapped behind the tight ski pants he had been wearing, wanting to come out and play.  But it wasn’t time yet. 

While his hand was pumping Brian’s cock, Justin’s head dropped to cover the inner thigh of Brian’s left leg with kisses, his tongue creating a wet trail down the long, slim thigh.  He repeated the process on the other leg, smiling when he heard Brian’s sharp intake of air when his tongue got dangerously close to Brian’s penis. 

Justin felt Brian’s fingers flow through his hair as the brunet struggled to get the blond to do what he wanted, what he needed.  Justin knew all too well what his lover was trying to tell him.  But this was payback time – having been teased and tortured by Brian so many times before. 

He slowed his pumping as he took two fingers of his other hand in his mouth, making a show out of licking them slowly and seductively and he already knew that Brian’s hole was clenching in anticipation. 

Justin, then slowly lowered his hand down to the tight entrance of Brian’s butt hole, moving the fingers inside.

The loud gasp escaping his lover’s lips indicated to Justin that Brian wanted him to go on.  Justin moved his fingers in and out slowly, adding the third one after some time.  He could tell that his beautiful lover was very close to cumming, so he removed his hand from Brian’s hole, much to the brunet’s dismay.  He then moved quickly to finally rid himself of his pants and underwear.  Rummaging for the condom that he was sure to find in the back of Brian’s pants, Justin rolled it on his hard shaft and with very little lube entered Brian, losing himself inside his lover.

~~~***~~~***~~~

Later that night, after the two finally made it to their bed, the two men gave into the much needed after a day full of excitement sleep.  Having skied all day and fucked all night, Justin had no problem falling asleep.  And it was the same for Brian.  Or at least, that was what Justin thought. 

Which was why he was surprised when in the middle of the night he felt the other side of the bed, occupied by Brian, move.  Believing that the man was simply going to the bathroom, Justin let himself bury his head deeper in the pillow. 

He was startled when he heard his companion getting dressed and rummaging around in the suitcase.  Justin waited anxiously to see what would happen next.  He could hear Brian’s footsteps leading to the door, the door open, then close. 

While the more logical part of him was telling Justin to just go back to sleep, that Brian went out for a smoke or a drink, the blond’s instincts told him that there was something else going on. 

Getting out of bed, he pulled on a pair of sweats he left on a chair near the bed the day before and a white t-shirt and followed Brian out of the room.

Peeking outside, he could see Brian disappearing at the end of the hall.  Making sure the brunet was not aware of his presence, Justin carefully followed, hiding behind the corner when he saw Brian finally stop in front of one of the rooms. 

Justin watched as Brian knocked on the door.  A few seconds later the door opened and Brian exchanged words with someone who Justin couldn’t see from where he was hiding.  Then Brian stepped forward and grabbed the other person, both of them disappearing behind the door.

Everything inside Justin told him to turn around and go back to their room now.  Instead he found himself walking toward the stranger’s room.  He was surprised to see the door open.  He carefully, as to not make any sounds, neared it and peeked inside.

There, he saw a man he had never seen before, half-sitting, half-lying on a couch, looking as if he was just shoved down on it, with Brian standing over him, a gun in his hand. 

Before Justin could react, Brian pulled the trigger, putting a bullet in the man’s forehead.

Justin’s eyes widened in horror and shock as he watched the stranger’s head drop back, blood streaming down his face. 

Brian pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. 

“It’s me.  Tell him it’s done,” Justin heard his lover say to somebody on the other end of the line.

Justin backed away from the room, unable to breathe, unable to think, feeling as if his entire world was spinning out of control.  He had to think, he knew that much.  He had to have a plan.

The first and most important thing now was to get back to the room, so that Brian wouldn’t know that he had seen him, that he knew what Brian was up too.

Glancing one last time at the dead man’s room, Justin sprinted down the hall toward theirs.  Quickly making his way toward the bed, he undressed, making sure to put the pants and the t-shirt back on the chair the same way they were before he had put them on.  He then got under the covers.  Now all he could do was wait.

A few minutes later he finally heard the door open and then Brian’s footsteps.  Justin closed his eyes and focused on keeping his breathing as even as possible.  Anything out of the ordinary would alert Brian immediately. 

Justin waited as Brian watched him for a few seconds before walking over to the other side of the bed and getting in under the covers as well.  He felt the bed shift a little as Brian scooted closer to him, draping his arm around Justin’s torso. 

The blond had to fight the rising bile in his throat, his stomach churning at the realization that the hand that was wrapped around him now had killed a man only minutes before.

~~~***~~~***~~~

Justin walked slowly, with a heavy step, toward Lindsay’s office.  He remembered doing just that not so long ago – going to Lindsay to tell her his decision.  Except, the last time he felt anger, and determination, but at the same time a promise of something incredible happening to him.  This time around Justin didn’t feel anything other than empty.  He felt completely numb, almost dead inside, wanting nothing more than to get in his car and just drive – far away from the city and the Agency and Brian.  But the moment he saw Brian pull the trigger, he knew what he had to do.

He opened the door without knocking and walked in, leaning on the doorknob for support.

Lindsay looked up, surprised to see him standing there. 

“I’ll do it,” Justin said, shocking himself at how detached his voice sounded – as if it belonged to somebody else entirely.  “I’ll take the assignment.”

Go to Part 15

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