Anything Goes - Part 6:
Careful Where You Stand
Somehow he managed to control his legs long enough to make it out of his father’s office. Feeling the bile rise in his throat, Justin rushed into the alley behind the office building, barely making it there before emptying the contents of his stomach. When the spasms in his stomach subsided, he slid down to the ground, leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He kept telling himself to breathe. To just breathe. It was done. He made it. Now all he had to do was live with his decision.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Brian paced the floor, listening to the woman on the other line.
“Not since yesterday,” he replied to her question, calmly. He was starting to learn how to deal with hysterical mothers. First Debbie earlier today, when Justin didn’t show up for his shift, and now Jennifer. Apparently, she and Justin had an argument earlier and Justin ran out on her. That was over four hours ago. “I’m sure he’s ok,” he said, wondering when comforting his lover’s mother became a part of his job description. Mothers. Instead of giving Justin time to get used to the idea of another dick in her life, she had pushed and now he was stuck with having to rectify the situation.
He looked out the window. It was dark now and pouring rain, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help but wonder where the hell his lover was. He knew he should have probably checked out Justin’s usual hang outs or the bars maybe finding the teen drowning his sorrows, but something kept him inside, hoping that Justin would need some one-on-one make-feel-good session.
Just then he heard a quiet knock on the door. “Hold on,” he said to the ranting woman, quickly crossing the loft and coming face to face with his wet lover. “He’s here,” he said in the phone, not taking his eyes off Justin. “Yeah, I will.” Finally, hanging up, he stared Justin up and down. “Where the fuck have you been?” he asked harsher than he intended as he let the teen in and locked the door once again.
“Just…around,” Justin replied, his speech slurred.
Glancing at the blonde, still standing in the middle of his loft, one more time, Brian went to the linen closet, returning with a towel in his hands. Sliding Justin’s jacket down to the floor, Brian covered the blonde hair with the dry towel, rubbing it gently. “All day long?” He lowered the towel, wiping the drops of water running down the pale neck.
Justin took a step back. “Not you too.”
“Not me what?”
The teen rolled his eyes. “I have enough parents. I don’t need you to baby-sit me too.”
Brian took a step forward, cupping his lover’s face in his hand. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
Justin smiled, pressing himself against the exec’s long frame. “The only thing that’s wrong right now is that you’re not inside me.” He raised his head, his tongue tracing Brian’s jaw line.
But the older man wasn’t done. He had been through this before with Justin. Pain management. He knew the signs all too well. And he knew Justin well enough to realize that this wasn’t about the new man in Jennifer’s life. No. Something else was going on. Something big.
Putting a hand on the teen’s chest, he pushed Justin away, locking his eyes on the pair of dazed blue ones. “Tell me,” he said softly.
But Justin didn’t seem to hear him, instead puling Brian’s closer and attacking the exec’s mouth with his.
Once again Brian pulled away. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded.
“Nothing,” Justin replied, kissing his boyfriend again.
Brian took the teen’s face in his hands, forcing Justin to look at him. “I don’t believe you.”
He felt Justin’s body tense up before the teen moved out of his embrace.
“I don’t give a flying fuck what you believe.” He backed away. “And if you don’t want to fuck me, I’ll find someone who will.” The artist turned around, heading for the door.
Brian knew that the first step to figuring out what was wrong was getting Justin to stay here. Letting the teen leave was not an option. Covering the distance between them, he pressed Justin against the door, trapping the blonde between the door and his body, immediately burying his head in Justin’s neck and sucking the soft skin in his mouth hard enough to make the smaller man moan. “Is this what you want?” he whispered in the teen’s ear.
Justin breathed heavily, his hot breath hitting the cold steel door. “Yes.”
Brian ran his hands down the smaller body in front of him, crossing his hands on Justin’s crotch, rubbing his lover’s already hard cock through his pants with one hand while working down the zipper with the other. Pushing the pants down and taking a condom out of his back pocket, Brian quickly tore the wrapper and pulled the rubber on his cock. Without a warning he entered the tight hole.
“Is this how you want it?” he asked again when he heard the teen cry out.
“Yea…yes,” Justin breathed, as Brian thrust inside of him.
~~~***~~~***~~~
His eyes snapped open the second he realized that he was alone in bed. Sitting up in his bed, Brian scanned the loft, his eyes stopping on the floor by the bed where a pile of their clothes had lain the night before. Justin’s were now gone.
~~~***~~~***~~~
The minute he set his foot inside the diner, Brian scanned the crowd. He sighed in relief when he saw the blonde busboy wiping the counter. But once he knew that Justin was ok, the relief quickly turned into anger. Just then Justin looked up, their eyes meeting. He could see the guilt in the blue eyes across the room before the teen looked down, hanging his head. Brian shook his head, barely biting back a bitter laugh that was threatening to come out. He spent all this time worrying about the little shit, bolting out of bed early in the morning to check on him, and the twat was here entertaining customers and earning tips. Well, fuck that.
Brian turned around, exiting the crowded diner, and headed back to the Jeep parked around the corner.
“Brian.”
He wasn’t going to stop. Wasn’t going to turn around. No matter what.
“Brian, please!”
The exec stopped, sighing heavily.
“I’m sorry,” Justin said, closer now.
Brian turned around, locking eyes with the teen. “You disappear for a day. You act like some goddamn pod person. And then you sneak out of the loft like some random trick. And all you have to say is you’re sorry? That’s bullshit!”
Justin’s shoulders slumped as he looked away. “I know. But I really am sorry.”
Brian raised his hand, massaging the tension out of his neck, taking a deep breath in. “What the fuck’s going on with you?”
Justin bit his lip as he dared to gaze up at the older man. “It’s…nothing. I just had a bad day, that’s all.”
“Bad day,” Brian repeated, not buying it for a second. For one thing, Justin’s eyes darted all over the place, strategically avoiding looking directly into Brian’s. And for another thing, he’d been through plenty of bad days with Justin. And something had to be majorly wrong for the teen to act like an ass.
He watched as Justin squirmed under his intense gaze, probably trying to come up with an explanation a little more believable than ‘a bad day’. “Look, why is it ok for you to shut me out, but I have to tell you everything? That’s not fair.”
“I don’t shut you out,” Brian countered, feeling blindsided. He did not expect his lover to be on the offensive with him.
“Oh, please,” Justin rolled his eyes.
Ok, so the kid had a point, but this wasn’t about him. This was about Justin having a ‘bad day’. And he wanted to, needed to, know what was wrong, period. “I’m not asking you to share your feelings,” he said in a mocking voice, “I just want to know what the fuck’s going on with you. That’s all.”
Justin sighed again, crossing the distance between them. “Look,” he said, his voice quiet and soft. “I’m ok. I’m not sick. I’m not dying. I just had some things to work through and I did…am. This is just something I have to deal with on my own.”
What is?! The question echoed in Brian’s head and he was having a hard time trying to keep it there. It killed him not to know, but Justin had a point. He didn’t share a lot of things with the teen. It was only fair that Justin had some secrets of his own. Yes, that’s what he’d keep telling himself all day long when he’d be ready to put his fist through a wall in frustration. He had to know, but he knew that Justin needed him to back off. The artist needed space and he had to give it to him, no matter how much it bothered him.
“Ok,” he said, his features softening when he heard the younger man sigh in relief. Instead of trying to prod for more information, Brian wrapped his long fingers around Justin’s neck, pulling the teen’s face to his, his mouth covering Justin’s.
~~~***~~~***~~~
A week later Brian was still wondering what the hell possessed him to decide to give the teen his space. He had barely seen Justin since the morning in the diner. And when he did, it was briefly in the diner during the artist’s shift or a blowjob in his Jeep before he dropped the blonde off at his mother’s townhouse. There were two problems with that arrangement. First, he was horny as hell. Yes, Babylon was still filled with hundreds of willing bodies to choose from, but Justin knew things he liked and how he liked them, knew his body better than anybody. That was one of the advantages of fucking somebody on a regular basis that he had overlooked for a long time. Secondly, he missed Justin. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he did. He missed dancing with him at Babylon and trying to put two words in as the teen rambled on during their drive to the diner. He missed him right before he fell asleep after a night of dinner, conversation and fucking. He just missed him. Also, there was still that gnawing voice inside his head telling him that something was very wrong with his lover.
“Brian!”
He jumped, startled, as his best friend’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “What?”
“Are you even listening to me?”
Brian looked up from the bank statement he was currently going over and looked up at the brunette sitting next to him on the couch. “Do I ever?” He bit back a laugh when Michael turned red, waiting for smoke to start coming out of the man’s ears.
“This is important.”
Brian exhaled noisily. “Ok, sorry,” he gave in. Michael was his best friend, so the least he could do was sit there and listen to the man vent. “Continue.”
Michael went on complaining about Ben working too much and Brian went back to balancing his checkbook, his friend’s words becoming a noise when his eyes landed on the transaction from a week before. “What the fuck?”
“What?” Michael asked right away, looking over Brian’s shoulder. “Less than should be?”
Brian shook his head, doing the math again. “No. More.” He held the piece of paper for Michael to see.
“I had that problem when David wasn’t cashing my checks,” Michael offered the information.
But his comment wasn’t needed. Brian could figure out the rest all on his own. He stood up, angrily walking over to the phone. “That fuck.”
~~~***~~~***~~~
After three unsuccessful calls, Brian got dressed and headed to the only place he knew to look for his lover on a Saturday afternoon. He waited long enough for Justin to drop the drama princess act and tell him what the fuck was going on. Now, finally having an idea about the source of the problem, there was no chance in hell he was going to sit back any longer.
“Brian, hey!”
He looked down, his eyes settling on the small form of Justin’s little sister.
“Is your brother home?” he asked.
“If you mean the big dumb dorkus, then yes,” she said, holding the door wider for him as he walked inside.
Brian snickered. Oh, the joys of having a sibling. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
“He’s upstairs.” She walked up the stairs, expecting him to follow. “Maybe you can get him to leave so other people can watch TV for a change.”
Brian stifled a laugh, instead focusing on what Molly said. It wasn’t like Justin to sit at home and watch TV all day. He’d do that occasionally, but unlike most teenagers in this day and age, Justin wasn’t a couch potato.
Justin’s eyes locked onto his the moment Brian walked in the room. “What are you doing here?”
Trying not to let Justin’s tone of voice get to him and sidetrack him from what he came here to do, Brian walked around the couch the teen was currently positioned on with a sketchbook in his lap and a pencil in his hand. “Can’t I stop by to see my boyfriend?” Brian said, like it was the most natural thing to come out of his mouth, as he captured the artist’s lips with his own. What was intended to be a light peck, deepened into a passionate kiss. They broke apart only when they heard a high-pitched giggle coming from across the room.
“Mol, it’s not nice to eavesdrop on adult conversations,” Justin chastised his sister.
“Where do you see adults?” she shot back at him, earning a glare not just for her, but also for Brian who chuckled at the sibling.
“The kid has a point,” the exec flashed the young Taylor a smile before parking his butt on the couch next to Justin. “So, what have you been up to?” he asked, catching a glimpse of a sketch Justin was working on.
Justin stood up, quickly closing the sketchbook and throwing it on the coffee table. “Just homework. I’ve been busy. Midterms and all.”
Brian studied the pale face, the eyes that seemed to look everywhere but at him. “So, you haven’t been avoiding me.”
Justin stopped fidgeting and looked at him finally. “Why would I be avoiding you?”
Before Brian could reply, Jennifer joined them in the living room, surprised just as much as her son was to find Brian sitting in her living room. “Brian…hello. I didn’t know you were coming over.”
“I didn’t either,” he replied, pointedly looking at Justin.
“Well, it’s nice to see you again.”
Brian refrained from making an inappropriate comment, deciding to leave testing Jennifer’s WASPy manners for another time. He nodded instead.
“Well, we should really get going. Paul should be here any minute now,” she said turning to Justin, who seemed to be nailed to the floor. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”
The teen shook his head. “No, I have a ton of schoolwork.”
She sighed, motioning for Molly. “Ok, well, we should be back around nine.” Saying good-bye to Brian and her son, Jennifer left the house.
Brian waited until he heard the door close before his eyes found Justin again. “Tell me.”
He knew Justin understood perfectly well what he was talking about. The teen’s eyes once again darted all over the place. “I wasn’t avoiding you,” he finally said, moving toward the stairs. “I just had…”
“A bad day?” Brian’s voice sounded bitter and tired. Tired of the bullshit Justin was feeding him. Tired of worrying about his boyfriend.
“Yes,” Justin simply said, turning away.
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with your tuition bill, now would it?”
Justin froze in place.
Bingo. He had nailed it.
Slowly turning around, Justin allowed himself to look at Brian.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” Brian asked when it was obvious Justin wouldn’t be the first to speak.
The teen shrugged, his lips curving at the edges. “I kinda hoped you wouldn’t notice it for a while.”
Brian snorted a laugh. “It’s not ten bucks. You have to be blind not to notice THAT.”
Justin sighed, returning to the spot by the window he had occupied earlier.
“So, you want to tell me why I have an extra two grand in my bank account?” Brian asked, getting to the more important part of the discussion.
Justin bit his lower lip, thinking something over in his head. “It’s not what you think. I didn’t drop out or anything.”
“Well, that’s for damn sure,” Brian barked. He would never allow that to happen and he knew Justin knew that as well.
“I just found different means to pay for school, that’s all.”
Brian cocked his eyebrow. “And what means would those be?”
The teen looked away again, staring down at the floor instead of answering the question. Justin was silent for a long time and Brian was about to repeat the question when the artist finally spoke. “I asked my dad.”
He was sure that Justin said it. He saw the teen’s mouth move and heard sounds coming from it, but his brain refused to process what the sounds amounted to. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” He stood up, pacing the floor of Jennifer’s small living room. “You went to that asshole? Why the fuck would you do that?” He stopped pacing, his eyes trained on his lover, waiting for the teen to say something…anything.
“Because…” Justin paused. Taking a deep breath he continued. “I’m trying to do this the right way, this…’us’ thing. I’m trying to make it work.”
“By begging your homophobic father for money?”
Justin’s jaw tightened. “By taking care of myself. By not just being the one always needing to be taken care of, needing to be saved. By being independent.”
Brian shook his head in disbelief. “This is the same man that nearly broke my fucking ribs. The one that threw you out. The one that stopped paying for your goddamn education to begin with.”
Justin sighed, crossing the room to where Brian stood, stopping a few feet away. “I’m not taking his money. It’s a loan.”
“So, then what difference does it make who you borrow the money from?”
“The difference is that this way I don’t feel like some goddamn housewife depending on my husband to take care of me!” he said a little too harshly. “Look,” he added, his voice softening. “I’m trying to change some things. I need to feel like we’re equal in this relationship.”
“We are,” Brian insisted.
But Justin shook his head. “No, we’re not. Not if I’m still taking money from you.”
He made an attempt to move closer to the other man, but Brian took a step backwards. “You’re so full of shit, you know that? You talk about making it work, about what a relationship should be, being open, all that other shit. And then you go and do something like this…this stupid…thing. You think this proves that you’re a man? It only serves to prove that you’re just a clueless kid. And that’s why I take care of you. And I’m not going to stop because you throw a fit, because taking care of you is the only way I know how to love you. And you’re just going to have to live with that and stop being such a…”
Finally, Brian realized that his rant was falling on deaf ears because Justin just stared at him wide-eyed, his mouth open. And the happy, almost amused look on his lover’s face was definitely not what Brian was going for. “What?” he asked, less than nicely.
He watched the corners of Justin’s mouth curve up and in the next moment he was greeted by the brightest smile he had ever seen.
“This is the first time you said it.” Justin’s voice was soft, almost a whisper.
Brian looked at him, confused, as he tried to recall everything that came spewing out of his mouth in the last five minutes. He felt his throat tighten suddenly, feeling the panic of having revealed something that was never meant to be known by anyone, especially Justin.
“Do you mind? I’m trying to make a point here,” he growled at his lover, trying to cover up his shaking voice.
Apparently Justin did mind, because the next thing he knew the blonde was in his arms, covering his face with kisses. He felt his dick respond immediately, but he’d be damned if he gave in now.
“Can I continue now?” he asked, faking annoyance.
Justin just shook his head. “No.” He was in the process of strategically placing soft kisses down Brian’s neck and collarbone. “But you can fuck me.”
Okay, giving in definitely sounded good now. In fact, it sounded perfect. Brian sighed dramatically, letting Justin know just how hard it was for him to surrender, and gazed down at his lover. “You realize this is your mother’s house, don’t you?”
Justin grinned. “It’s only two. She won’t be back ‘till nine.” He covered Brian’s mouth, sucking on the exec’s lower lip. “That gives us...” he ran his hand down Brian’s stomach, resting it on the man’s stiff cock. “Seven hours…to do…whatever.”
Brian wrapped his arms around the teen, feeling the last of his resolve slip away. “How big is your bed?”
Justin snickered, slipping out of his embrace and heading up the stairs. “Big enough.”
~~~***~~~***~~~
Brian put the sketchbook down and looked up, his eyes trained on a naked blonde boy carrying in a big plate filled with food. Justin closed the door before flopping down on the bed beside him.
“What’s with the door? Afraid your imaginary friend will walk in on us?” Brian smirked.
Justin shrugged. “Just a habit,” he replied, taking a bite out of a sandwich and pushing the plate across the bed to Brian.
The exec eyed the contents of the plate carefully, settling on a baby carrot, and ignoring the teen rolling his eyes.
“It’s not even four in the afternoon yet. You can eat,” Justin said, his own mouth full.
Brian pushed the plate aside, rising on his knees. He took the sandwich, or what was left of it, out of Justin’s hand, placing it back on the plate. “I’d rather eat you,” he murmured, sprawling on top of the blonde. “Besides, you still haven’t received your proper punishment.” He knew they still needed to talk about this. They couldn’t just fuck Justin’s father out of their lives. “You still haven’t told me what the catch is.”
Justin’s face turned serious as he pushed the older man off of him, sitting up and grabbing the half-eaten sandwich once again. “The catch?”
“I just find it hard to believe that a man who threw his son out when he was seventeen and who cut him off completely, would suddenly agree to pay for college now out of the goodness of his heart. There has to be a catch.”
Since Justin was sitting with his back turned to him, he couldn’t see the teen’s face, but he felt Justin’s body stiffen.
“There’s no catch,” Justin said quietly.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Dozing off in Justin’s bed wasn’t part of the plan. In fact, the plan was to have a quick fuck and then head back to the loft where they wouldn’t have to worry about female Taylors walking in on them. Instead, Brian found himself waking up in a full-sized bed. Alone.
He sat up, trying to adjust to the dark. Moving his gaze over to the nightstand, he checked the clock. 8:45. He knew he should definitely get dressed and get the hell out of there before Jennifer came back.
Quickly, recovering all of his clothes, he pulled them on and headed downstairs. He knew that it wouldn’t be an easy task to convince Jennifer that they played scrabble for seven hours. But when he came downstairs, he realized he wouldn’t have to. The house was quiet and dark, the only light coming from the kitchen. He smiled. Justin’s appetite always amused him.
“How can you…” He froze in the doorway, his eyes growing wide when the scene before him finally registered in his brain. Justin was sprawled on the floor, covered in blood. Blood. It was everywhere. The whole kitchen seemed to be swimming in it.
“Justin!”
He rushed to his lover’s side, dropping down to his knees.
“Justin!” he tried to shake the man awake, but got no response. A cry caught in his throat when he saw a white scarf soaked in blood lying next to the blonde’s motionless body, and suddenly…he was back in the dimly lit garage.
“No, no, no!”
~~~***~~~***~~~
He woke up with a start, sitting up quickly while trying to catch his breath. He could feel his heart threatening to burst out of his chest. He looked to his right, his eyes settling on a disheveled blonde head on a pillow next to him. He held hid own breath, focusing on listening to his lover breathe instead, watching Justin’s chest rise and fall. Exhaling, Brian settled back down, moving closer to the sleeping form next to him.
I feel safe, I feel warm when you're here
When I do no wrong
I am cured, when I'm by your side
I'm alright, alright
I am safe, when I am with you
And I feel warm, If you want me to
I am cured, when I'm by your side
I'm alright
Careful where you stand
Careful where you lay your head
It's true we're always looking out for one another
I feel safe, when I am with you
I feel warm, when you want me to
I am cured when you are around
I'm alright
Careful where you stand
Careful where you lay your head
It's true we're always looking out for one another
So I like a quiet time please
Yeah, I like a quiet time
Careful where you stand
Now, careful where you stand
Careful Where You Stand by Coldplay
Go to Part 7