| "I thought, I like to travel, don't want to go to an office, I wanna wear clothes, go to parties, work out... That's a model! So I started calling photographers, saying 'I'm a model'! It worked. I sublet my apartment, got a co-worker to give me some money and bought a ticket to Milan..." "I thought I would meet a photographer and we would become this synthesis of photography and performance. Of course, it wasn't like that at all. You're just a wardrobe rack." Inadvertently, Casey's brush with the catwalk had helped him realise what he did want to do. "I knew I was a performer, but I wasn't an actor – I couldn't create emotional reality. But I could pose. I knew I could make an image. Ironically, now I am basically a model. But I choose the wardrobe." You don't have to start in the underground – start somewhere else." When he's "in character", however, Casey finds himself regularly propositioned, but tends not to accept. "I'm too freaked out. You're acting sexy onstage, but afterwards I feel like I've just come from a war. It's odd because I don't think I could be more unappealing. But maybe that's attractive. If I have the confidence to be so cavalier onstage and get nearly naked... I'm sure it's not my actual package." Warren snorts, and says: "Don't fool yourself!" It goes to show: if Fischerspooner crashes and burns, he could always resume modelling. After all, he'd be offered contracts now purely because of who he is...Casey Spooner looks confused for a second, then asks: "Who am I?" Popbitch, the website dedicated to music industry tittle-tattle, announced last week that Spooner used to go out with Michael Stipe, the REM singer and latter-day wearer of Spooner-esque silver eye shadow. (Iris says: yeah, in my dreams!) Striding up to NME, with his mother on his arm, he greets us by roaring, "So you're the guy I've gotta blow!" His name is Casey Spooner, and he has no shame. When he and NME last met, in December, Casey later phoned your correspondent up to demand, "Whose cock do I have to suck to get on the cover?" They are a tricky interview because they tend to lie. Warren claims he's 43, though he's obviously in his early-30s. The pair used to pretend they got together because Casey was having a midlife crisis and wanted Warren to make him a pop star "instead of, like, buying a convertible and getting a young girlfriend". The reason they lie is threefold: a) it makes them laugh, b) they believe "all entertainment is an illusion" anyway and c) it protects their privacy. I'd much rather pretend to be famous than actually be really famous," says Casey. "I think being famous is probably a pain in the ass. So I've been basically lying my ass off, so nobody knows how old I am, where I live, what I do or who I hang out with." (Iris says: quite frankly we don't care do we? We just want to see Casey in the magazines. Casey, go model again and make train-of-thought videos, dear boy!) Casey went to Milan to embark on a brief and disastrous modelling career. "I lived on ice cream, cigarettes and coffee, so my skin broke out and I had these huge boils over my face and everyone was, like, 14, so I was already waaaay too old at 25." (Iris says: I'd buy the mags!) "If we do Top of The Pops," promises Casey, I'll wet my pants on camera". This is Warren, but damn hilarious:The tune is also being used in on ad for Karl Lagerfeld perfume. "Do I mind? No! Why should I?" bristles Warren. "This whole thing is designed to sell out. There's no integrity here. Our motto's 'Down in flames'." One accusation that needles is that, because their shows are mimed, they're somehow cheating. "You know what?" storms Casey. "It's not cheating because the fucking show is good." "There's no difference between us and J.Lo.," says Casey. |
| QUOTES 3 |
| "I'm living the best novel -- art fags make fake pop band and are suddenly at helm of movement. The made-for-TV movie is going to be genius." |