Whew! ^_^ Thank you for all the great feedback about my first two Maury things. Your feedback, coupled with several viewings of Maury, has encouraged me to write another one! This story concerns a favorite topic of Maury's: lie detector tests! Lie detector test episodes are one of the most common, and entertaining topics on Maury. Did he cheat on me? Is she doing drugs? Is my pet panda eating my chocolate bars when I'm not home? When I applied this topic to Inuyasha, here were my results!
First, a few notes...
A single * indicates an action that is going on. for instance: *audience claps*
Oh, and just to help you visualize this better, here's what Maury looks like. Just in case you didn't know! ^_^
Maury: “Hello everybody, and welcome to the show. I’m glad you could all join me today! We’re planning to have another great episode, in which I pretend to care about my guests, the audience, and the viewers. But we all know I’m just in it for the money, right?”
Audience: “….”
Maury: “Ok, my producer is telling me to tell you all that that last part was just a joke, and that I apparently care very much about all of you.”
*audience applauds*
Maury: “Gullible fools…”
Audience: “….”
Maury: “Ok, the topic of today’s show is, “Lie Detector Test Jamboree!” All of our guests today have something they want to find out about a friend or loved one, and they felt that they needed to drag them out in from of millions of people to do so. Why did they not choose to do this in private, you may ask? Apparently, some people love being humiliated. What total idiots.”
*A voice is heard over the stage announcement system. It’s the producer.*
Producer: “Maury, I’ve been trying to talk to you on your personal radio for several minutes now, why aren’t you answering?”
Maury: “I don’t like you. Also, I dropped my radio into the sink while I was brushing my teeth and it exploded. What did you want to tell me?”
Producer: “Well, I mean, it‘s a little rude to say that about the guests, don’t you think?”
Maury: “Yes, I do. But I don’t care. It’s amazing how liberating crystal meth can be.”
Producer: “….We’ll talk about this later, just bring out the first guest, and try to control yourself, ok?”
Maury: “Maybe. If I feel like it. Alright, our first guest has been in a relationship with a man for quite some time now. She loves him, and he says he loves her, but whenever they’re out together, he can’t stop looking at other women!”
Audience: “oooooOOOOHHH!”
Maury: “I know! What a jerk! Anyway, she’s come to our show today to make sure that he’s been looking, but not touching, if you get my meaning.” *Wink wink*
*an audience member gets up and punches the air*
Audience Member: “YES! Sexual innuendo ROCKS! WOOO!”
Maury: “Indeed it does. As I was saying, her boyfriend has been subjected to a lie detector test, in which we have asked him several yes or no question regarding his relationships with other women. But first, let’s bring out his girlfriend. Let’s welcome Sango everybody!”
