*Inuyasha stands up, glaring at Kagome. Maury continues to read*
Maury: “When we asked Kagome if she thought Houjo, a boy from her school, was a hot chunk of manly roast beef, she said no, and the lie detector test determined that was a lie.”
*Inuyasha bears his teeth at Kagome and actually starts to growl like a dog. Kagome scoots her chair away*
Maury: “This is the last one. When we asked Kagome if…oh, I don’t think we can read this one on the air; it’s pretty vulgar, even for this show. Suffice to say it has something to do with …penguins, whipped cream, and rubber bands. She said no, and the lie detector test determined that she was more perverted than Miroku. The testing machine then somehow managed to throw up, apparently overwhelmed by the crazy pervertedness.”
*Inuyasha goes completely insane and grabs Kagome, heading backstage. Much dog barking and yelling is heard afterwards*
Maury: “Ah, young love. It’s a wonderful thing isn’t it?”
*a member of the audience stands up*
Audience Member: “You’re a monster, Maury.”
Maury: “Thank you for pointing out the blindingly obvious. Ok, now on to our last set of guests…”
*Commotion is heard backstage. A bloodied Miroku stumbles out on stage, looking half-conscious.*
Miroku: “Maury, I’m sorry, but the trunk of your car is covered in bloo- no…ketchup. Just ketchup.”
*Miroku nervously glances around, apparently looking for Sango, who is still lurking nearby.*
Miroku: “I’m so dizzy! I’ve lost so much bloo- KETCHUP! Please c-call a doctor!”
Maury: “Who’s gonna pay to clean all of that ketchup out of my trunk!?”
Miroku: “I will! I’ll pay! Just call a doctor!”
Maury: “Let me see the money, then I’ll call a doctor.”
*The producer’s voice is heard over the announcement system.*
Producer: “ Maury, this is NOT THE TIME to be discussing compensation! We’ve already called a doctor, but you need to stop the bleeding before -”
*Miroku collapses*
Producer: “Never mind…”
*Minutes pass. Maury pouts about his trunk. His arms are crossed on his chest and his bottom lip is quivering. He’s dangerously close to a temper tantrum.*
*Paramedics rush in and take Miroku away. Outside, a figure in black and pink, with a long pony tail and reddish eye shadow slips into the ambulance unnoticed.*
Maury: “Darn…we’re out of time for today’s show. Join us next time, when our topic is, “Help! My Boss has an Unhealthy Fixation with White Baboon Pelts!” Thanks for joining us everybody!”
*Everyone leaves. The fire burns unattended through the night and destroys a portion of the studio. The next day, Maury can be heard muttering about how it was all part of his plan.*
Remember, if you liked this but haven't read the other two Maury things yet, you might want to check them out. They're on the 2nd humor page.
