Maury: “Let’s bring her out! Here’s Kagome!”
*Kagome walks out and sits next to Inuyasha*
Maury: “Hello Kagome, and welcome to the show. I notice you’re wearing a school uniform. Did you just come from school?”
Kagome: “No. I didn’t have school today.”
Maury: “Oh. Then…why are you…”
*Inuyasha pulls Maury aside and whispers in his ear*
Inuyasha: “It’s best not to ask her about it. She gets a little touchy when you point out that there’s no reason to wear that thing everywhere. It won’t be a pretty sight if you press the issue.”
Maury: “Er…as I was saying, that’s a lovely uniform you have there Kagome. Really lovely. You should wear it all you want. All the time!”
Kagome: “Why, thank you Maury. It’s nice to see that SOME people appreciate it."
Maury: “R-right. Er, so, Kagome, from what I’ve been told by the secret people who tell me things, Inuyasha has actually ADMITTED to cheating on you in the past. Why don’t you tell us about that?”
Kagome: “Yes, he has admitted to kissing his ex. But, he said that’s all that happened. Also, that was quite a long time ago, like, at least 100 episodes ago. He says that it’s over now, and they’re just friends.”
Maury: “And you don’t believe him?”
Kagome: “No Maury. He’s lied about meeting with her too many times for me to believe him!”
Maury: “But Kagome, Inuyasha has come here accusing YOU of cheating on HIM as well, isn’t that true?”
Kagome: “Yes, but I haven’t! He’s just mad because I’m taking our relationship more seriously than he is! He’s scared of committing to one person and he wants to think I‘m the same way!”
Inuyasha: “We’ll see! Read the results Maury!”
*Maury does some elaborate hand movements and chants*
Maury: “By all the powers of darkness, in the name of the supreme god Count Chocula, I command you, APPEAR BEFORE YOUR MASTER!!!”
*brown envelope appears*
Audience: “…”
Inuyasha: “…”
Kagome: “…”
*Maury acts as if it is not at all unusual to invoke dark forces in order to summon envelopes*
Maury: “Ok, we’ll read Inuyasha’s results first. When we asked Inuyasha if he has kissed his ex since he last admitted to doing so, he said no, and the lie detector test determined that was the truth.”
*Inuyasha glares angrily at Kagome, who looks shocked*
Maury: “When we asked Inuyasha if he has ever had a secret romantic meeting with “Kikiou” since he last admitted to doing so, he said no, and the lie detector test determined that was the truth.”
*audience claps*
Maury: “This is the last one. When we asked Inuyasha if he had ever so much as had a romantic thought about his ex since he last admitted to doing so, he said no, and the lied detector test determined that was the truth.”
*Audience claps and screams. The gang in the back dances around their unholy fire, covered in war paint*
Inuyasha: “SEE!?!? SEE!?!? I wasn’t lying!!! You owe me an apology Kagome!”
Kagome: “Ok, I’m really sorry. Let’s leave!”
*She grabs Inuyasha’s hand and starts to head back stage. He pulls away.”
Inuyasha: “Hold on! We still haven’t heard YOUR results!”
*Kagome reluctantly sits down and nervously plays with the hem of her skirt*
