*She sits down on a chair next to Maury*
Maury: “Welcome to the show Sango!”
Sango: “I’m really glad to be here Maury. Thank you for this giving me this opportunity to find out how much of a pig my boyfriend is.”
Maury: “That’s what we’re here for Sango! We’re happy to help! Hello ratings! Cha-Ching!!!”
Sango: “What was that last part?”
Maury: “I said, that’s a nice shade of eyeshadow you’re wearing.”
Sango: “….”
Maury: “So Sango, from what I understand, whenever you’re out with your boyfriend, he just can’t stop looking at other women, right?”
Sango: “Exactly Maury. For instance, the other day we were just, you know, killing a couple of huge moth demons. I was cutting them up with my huge boomerang, and he was sucking them into the hole in his hand. You know, just a standard romantic evening for any young couple.”
Maury: “And afterwards, you two took a little walk in the nearby village, is that right?”
Sango: “Yes. It was a beautiful evening, so we decided to take a little stroll. We were just walking along, and I pointed out how beautiful the moon was. I waited for him to answer…but he didn’t.”
Maury: “Why didn’t he answer Sango?”
Sango: “He…was…”
*Maury takes Sango’s hand*
Maury: “I know it’s hard. Take a deep breath and continue.”
Sango: “He…was…oh God! He was 20 feet back staring at a group of young women! His eyes were glazing over and he was actually drooling a little!”
Maury: “What did you do then, Sango?”
Sango: “I ran back there and asked him what he was doing.”
Maury: “What did he say?”
Sango: “Well, if I remember correctly, he screamed, “BOOBIES” at the top of his lungs. Then he realized what was going on and quickly told me that whatever I thought was going on, I was wrong. Then he said that he didn’t actually say, “boobies,” but “cookies” instead.”
Maury: “Cookies?”
Sango: “Yes Maury. Cookies.”
Maury: “I see. And you want to find out if he was looking at those girls or not?”
Sango: “Yes Maury, but that’s not all. I want to find out if he’s taken it any farther. In the past, before we started going out, he was known to grope anything with a backside. And I mean ANYTHING. Oh, the stories I could tell you! There was this one time, with this rainbow trout…”
Maury: “Keep it to yourself, perv-girl.”
Sango: “Oh, sorry….So, yeah. I just want to find out if he’s been looking at or touching other girls.”
Maury: “And, if he has?”
Sango: “It’s over Maury! I deserve better than that!”
*The audience goes crazy. A small fire has started to burn in the back row. Screams of terror are heard.*
Maury: “Ok, let’s bring him out! Sango’s boyfriend, Miroku!”
*Miroku walks out amid “boos” and screams. He flashes a charming smile at the audience, apparently attempting to win their favor. It isn’t working.*
*Miroku sits in the chair next to Sango. Sango scoots a little closer toward Maury.*
Sango: “I’ll move the chair back AFTER the tests prove you’ve been faithful to me!”
Miroku: “Is there something wrong, my sweet little flower? You seem upset about something.”
Sango: “It’s a little late to start sucking up to me now, don’t you think?”
Miroku: “It’s never too late for that.”
Sango: “Read the results Maury!”
