Forever Ends by Vardy

 

Summary:  Tess ruined a lot of lives in Roswell.  But her actions had horrible effects on two people in particular – Isabel and Kyle.  Takes place right after “Departure.”

 

Disclaimer:  Nope, not mine.  If the were, Alex wouldn’t be dead, Tess wouldn’t be a murderer, and everyone would be happy in Roswell (hey, it could happen!) 

 

Author’s Note:  This one is for my friend, K, who has been wanting an I/K pairing from the beginning (I don’t like it, but I’m pretty sure this is how S3 is going to go).  Also, I LOVE feedback – if you love it, tell me.  If you don’t like it, tell me.  If you think I should never put a pen to paper again, tell me - and we’ll talk. vardy_jennifer@hotmail.com

 

 

 

Part 1 - Isabel

 

I think I’ve gone through the whole range of negative emotions in the past few weeks.  It hasn’t exactly been a carnival ride, to say the least, for me  - or the people who have to deal with me.

 

At first, I was in denial.  That lasted all of about an hour.  When I saw the blood, I knew.  Numbness took over, and overwhelming sadness.  That got me through the first night.

 

Then I moved on to guilt.  Guilt was probably my favourite part.  I could be angry at myself, hate myself, and no one could tell me to stop.  God knows I deserved it.  I cursed the stars, destiny, the face I saw in the mirror each morning, the forces that put me on this world to begin with.  But the universe didn’t deign to answer my ranting. 

 

Next up was a repeat of denial.  The urge to run away took over.  Fight or flight reaction, I guess.  I couldn’t handle the pain, so I tried to some up with a way to cope.  Needless to say, my response was flight.  I didn’t have the energy left to fight.

 

Looking back, I realize that the guilt was probably still there, all along.  That comforts me, in some sick, twisted way.  Because I still feel guilty, and it worries me that it could have just gone away and returned again for no apparent reason.  No, guilt is my constant.

 

And so is regret.  Regret and guilt walk hand in hand.  I should know; they’ve become my best friends.

 

For a while, anger ruled me.  Anger at myself, at him, at my brother, at the world.  That was probably the most fun I had.  I made other people – namely, my brother – hurt as much as I was hurting.  You know what they say about misery loving company.  I really let myself go.  For once, I allowed myself to just be.  It was wonderful, freeing – I’ve never felt anything so intensely.  I threw a guy down a hallway with the flick of a wrist.  I tore apart my room and repaired it in an instant with the wave of a hand.  I could be as destructive as I wanted, and the best thing about it was that I didn’t give a damn about the consequences.  I just didn’t care.  Not anymore.

 

Then sadness snuck up on me again and replaced the anger.  I cried more tears in those next few weeks than I ever have before, or ever will again.  I loved him.  I let him get under my skin.  I won’t make that mistake again.  It wasn’t supposed to end that way.  What happened to the fairytale ending?  No one told me that forever ends. 

 

But I learned.  I learned my lesson the hard way.  I don’t believe in rainbows or princes riding white steeds to rescue the damsel in distress anymore.  Reality’s set in.  I’ve grown up.  I’ll rescue myself from now on, thank-you very much.  I’ll never let a man touch me, never again.

 

And now fury has taken over my heart.  Fury is even better than anger, I think.  It has more potential.  It has a purpose.  It drowns out the voices in my head.  My brother’s voice, always telling me what to do, that I have to hide who I really am.  Michael’s voice, telling me to be careful, not to trust anyone – hell, maybe he had the right idea all along.  Liz’s voice, telling me it’s all my fault – give the girl her prize, she’s right on the money.  Maria’s voice, crying for him, wanting him back, singing ‘Amazing Grace’ as they lower his coffin into the cold, hard ground.  His voice, telling me that he loves me and he’ll be with me forever.  Didn’t anyone ever tell him that forever ends?

 

It’s his voice I hate hearing the most. Because I know it’s not real.  I know I’ll never hear his voice again.

 

I like fury.  It consumes me, makes me forget, blocks out the pain.  Sure, it makes me want to destroy things, tear her little blonde ringlets out one by one, but I don’t have to think.  I don’t cry.  I don’t miss him.

 

The only problem is, I know fury is going to abandon me one of these days.  Everything else does, so why not that, too?

 

What am I going to do then?

 

 

Part 2 - Kyle

 

My sister killed my best friend.  And she made me carry the body.  I could kill her for that.

 

What?  She was already a murderer.  I couldn’t have stopped her; she’d just have zapped me with her weird alien powers.  For all I know, she could’ve turned me into a toad.  So why couldn’t she just do her own dirty work and leave me out of it?

 

No, that would be too simple.  And simple just doesn’t work in Roswell, New Mexico.  Especially with Max Evans and the rest of the pod squad running amok.

 

My sister, the murderer, is an alien.  Sounds like the title of some cheesy kids book aimed at preventing sibling rivalry.  Maybe I should write a book.  I could base it on my life.  I bet it’d be a best seller. 

 

After all, who would believe that it’s non-fiction?  No one sane, that’s for sure.  Over the last few weeks, I’ve secretly wondered if I’ve lost touch with reality and no one bothered to clue me in.  I mean, this kind of thing doesn’t happen to normal people, right?  No, I didn’t think so.

 

I think I left normal about ten months ago.  That’s when I went from being Kyle Valenti, super jock - whose dad just happened to ignore him in order to chase after little green men and whose grandfather was known as ‘Sergeant Martian’ - to a card-carrying member of the ‘I know an alien’ club.  Lucky me.  Didn’t Dad learn anything from grandpa?  If he had, we would’ve moved as far away from Roswell as we could get.  Oh, no.  Not my Dad.  He was just as obsessed as grandpa, in his own way, and we all know how he turned out.  Sitting in a nursing home getting spoon-fed.  Great move, Dad.

 

But I digress.  Wouldn’t you just know it that after fifty-odd years and two generations of Valenti men chasing their own shadows, the aliens from the ’47 crash would end up in my class?  I mean, what are the chances?

 

Apparently, not too damn great.

 

It just figures that it’d be my luck that my ex-girlfriend dumped me for the king of another planet.  Hell, the guy was weird enough that it’s not such a stretch to figure out he’s from another solar system.  And that weirdo, Guerin, he’s always hanging around with?  The guy was strange enough that for a while, I was half convinced he was the Unabomber.  But Isabel Evans?  The Hottie McHottie of the sophomore class?  No way.  

 

Then my world got a little weirder, if that’s even possible.  That’s when the little murdering tramp showed up, dragging along her shape-shifting partner in crime.  She looks innocent enough, all blonde ringlets and big blue eyes.  And a body that just doesn’t quit.  But, no.  She’s one of them.  Even better yet, she’s in love with Max Evans, too.  What the hell has that guy got that all the girls at West Roswell High want?  At least Tess, I can understand.  Turns out, she was married to him in their ‘first life’ on their alien planet.  No other guy would have a snowball’s chance in hell of making it with her while Max was still breathing.  But Liz?  She’s a nice, normal human girl who should know better.  Did he screw up her head when he healed that gunshot?

 

Oh, yeah.  I forgot to mention that, didn’t I?  Seems my alien buddies are from the same part of the galaxy as Superman.  Maxie-boy can heal people.  He even did it to me.  I’m just waiting for the day when I fall in love with him.  That’ll be the day I shoot myself.

 

Part 3 – Isabel

 

Max and Michael, they’re worried about me.  They’re afraid I’m going to do something stupid.

 

Don’t they know the only stupid thing I ever did was let him anywhere near me?  It got him killed, loving me.  That’ll never happen again.  They don’t have to worry about me.

 

No, I’m more worried about them.  Michael’s attached to Maria at the hip these days.  What happened to the brother I knew, the boy who was smarter than all of us combined?  The guy whose mantra was ‘don’t get attached’?  We didn’t know it at the time, but he was right last year.  The humans can’t be near us.  We’ll only destroy them.

 

Max is even worse off than Michael, if that’s even possible.  Max is splitting his time between searching for a way to get his son back from the murdering tramp and trying to win back his lady love.  I hope Liz is smart and stays away, for her own sake.  He’ll only hurt her again.  Love bites the big one.

 

The only one I can stand to be around right now, ironically enough, is Kyle.  We do the whole rage thing together.  He hates her as much as I do.  We tore apart the murdering little tramp’s room.  Everything she touched, even looked at, we burned.  Kyle calls it a funeral pyre.  I call it cleaning house.

 

There’s no trace of her existence left.  My parents thought I lost my mind from grief when I insisted on burning the sleeping bag she used at our sleepovers.  They thought I was certifiably crazy when I purged the house of yogurt and sugar cubes and threatened to pitch any more that came through the front door.  And they were scared when I brought half my wardrobe to the homeless shelter in town.  They didn’t know it was all stuff she’d borrowed or liked.  I even got rid of the stuff we’d bought together.

 

People learned to stop asking me if I was okay pretty quickly.  Bad ‘accidents’ happened to people who annoyed me incessantly.  I haven’t had this much fun with my powers since I found out I was different and decided to lash out at the girls who had teased me in grade school.

 

That’s what’s worrying Max.  He says I’m out of control.  I am, sure, I admit it.  The new me doesn’t care.  I don’t care about anything.  And that scares him.  But he and Michael both know they can’t stop me from doing anything ever again, short of locking me in a closet.

 

Because I’m done.  Through.  Finished.  I say, screw destiny.  Hell, screw life.  What did destiny ever do for me? 

 

Nothing.  Just a Mexican hat-dance on my heart.

 

Part 4 – Kyle

 

So anyway, these alien guys are supposed to save the world.  It’s their sacred destiny, you know.  From these really gross group of people that seem to have a tendency to shed far too much.  And somehow, because these guys showed up, Tess – you know, the murdering blonde tramp? – ends up moving into my bedroom.  I got relegated to the couch.

 

That’s when things got really fucked up. 

 

Do you have any idea what it’s like to find a hot little number stretched across your bed wearing your football jersey?  How hard it is to keep from throwing her on the kitchen table and licking the milk moustache off her face over breakfast? 

 

She had me twisted around her pinkie finger from the very beginning, and she knew it.  Hell, she flaunted it.  She used me.  I loved her, at first, I think.  I know I definitely wanted her.  I think I would’ve promised her forever, when it all began.  But like Isabel says, forever ends.

 

So anyway, there I was, living with this girl, who half the time I thought of as a sister, and the rest of the time, I drooled over.  This girl who gave me back a family, something I’ve wanted for years.  The only problem is, the girl I’m half in-love with, my almost-sister, killed my best friend.  And even worst, I still can’t get her out of my head.  How sick is that? 

 

Finally, said girl, alien queen, gets her man.  Max.  Sets the poor guy up.  Gets knocked up, which was apparently part of her master plan all along.  Then she tries to drag the rest of our ‘friends from up yonder’ home to get killed by the head enemy alien guy, who’s apparently her new best bud.

 

Great plan, sis.  Did you really think, once you delivered the kid, that you’d have a hope in hell of becoming queen again?  I mean, come on.  Wake up and smell the Tabasco.  If anyone would’ve gotten to be queen, it was Isabel.  The guy is in love with her, after all, but I’m pretty sure that Isabel would’ve thrown herself off the nearest turret rather than let him lay one finger on her.  Didn’t that thought cross your little mind?  Didn’t that kind of clue you in that this plan of yours was slightly twisted?

 

And really, Tess, how did you think this was going to work?  Did you really think no one would ever figure it out?  Decode the book.  Find out your ticket home has just been waiting for you guys to decide your departure time.  Sail off into outer space and live happily ever after?  Hardly.

 

Don’t you have a conscious?  You sicken me.  I mean, really, Tess.  The best thing you could come up with was to make Alex decode the book for you?  Your devious little mind disappoints me.  I would’ve expected bigger things from the alien I know.  But I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought.

 

Part 5 - Isabel

 

My parents want me to see a shrink.  I refused.  Big surprise.  How’s a shrink supposed to help me?  I can just picture it now.  Yes, Dr. So-and-so, my problems all started when I realized I’m from another solar system.  Then the FBI and a bunch of enemy aliens came after me and my friends, and that’s when things got really crazy.  Oh, and did I mention that my best friend, the girl my brother knocked up – his wife in our former life, I might add – just killed my human boyfriend?  She didn’t even have to use a gun or anything messy like that.  She just fried his mind with her superpowers after she used him to decode a book written in our native language, which we couldn’t read, and steered his car into a semi, as part of her nefarious plot to hitch a ride home.  Although personally, I think she probably chose him because she wanted me to hook up with my predestined mate, the guy I always thought of as another brother, the man I was engaged to marry in my former life.  Did I forget to tell you that in that life, I betrayed my brother, causing a war that destroyed my world and ended up killing all of us?   Oops.  My bad.

 

Yeah, I can see that going over well.  Go straight to the loony bin, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  I doubt anyone would slip me a ‘get out of jail’ free card, either.

 

On the fringes of my mind, I feel sorry for my parents.  Last summer, they had a depressed Max on their hands.  He mooned over Liz and moped over his role as leader.  This year, they’ve got me.  An angry, bitchy young woman who is out for her best friend’s blood.  An alien with a mission.

 

That’s the only thing keeping me sane, actually.  I’m biding my time, waiting to get the chance to wrap my hands around her scrawny little neck.  She should’ve known better than to cross me.  She’s going to rue the day she ever decided to hurt me and mine.  That’s a promise, and I never go back on my word.

 

And she knows I’ll do it, too.  Because I haunt her dreams.  Nightmares, really.  Who knew dreamwalking could be so versatile? 

 

Part 6 - Kyle

 

Briefly, after you left, sister dear, I considered pretending I don’t know your alien pals.  Try and get back some semblance of a normal life.  But then I came up with a better plan.  Normal is boring, and any decision I might’ve made wouldn’t have stopped dad from trailing along behind King Max like a puppy looking for a bone.

 

If you can’t beat them, join them.

 

Isabel Evans is just as – if not more – furious at you as I am.  No wonder.  You did kill her boyfriend, after all.  Sounds like some weird, twisted version of Jerry Springer.  My alien best friend killed my human boyfriend.  If she could, I think she’d beam herself home on rage alone or something just so she could smack you senseless.  I’d ask if I could come along and sell tickets.  But anyway, that’s another story.

 

We’ve had fun together before, Isabel and I; now we’re doing it constructively.  We’ve joined forces, you see.  To destroy each and every trace that you ever existed.  And I must admit, it feels great.

 

Dad already told everyone that you flipped out, stole the Evans’ jeep, and drove yourself off a cliff.  Tess: the poor, troubled soul that no one could save.  Tragic.  Yeah, right.  So to the rest of the world, you no longer exist, either.  You’re just some nutcase that couldn’t hack it here anymore.  The only bad part was that we all had to look sad at your funeral.  I’m happy to say that total attendance was six.  Liz came, but couldn’t hide the smile on her face.  Isabel said she wouldn’t degrade herself enough to make an appearance.  Smart girl.  Wish I could’ve gotten out of it that easily.

 

Isabel and I started with the house.  She changed the furniture with her powers, even the colour of the walls, but that wasn’t nearly satisfying enough.  We gathered everything you owned, sister dearest, and hauled it out to the desert.  Then we set it ablaze and sat back to watch the show.  I like to think we were burning you in effigy.  A funeral pyre, if you will – much better than your fake service.  Isabel says we’re just cleaning house.  Getting rid of bad rubbish.

 

Thank god.

 

Part 7 - Isabel

 

Rage isn’t working for me anymore.  It’s not blocking everything out.  So Kyle and I decided to live it up.

 

We went to a party.  One of those parties where you don’t know anyone and you just know the police are going to come and break it up eventually.  The kind of party where beer is more plentiful than water and sex is on everyone’s mind.  The perfect party for someone who wants to do something stupid.  The perfect party for us.

 

We got smashed.  I’ve never got smashed before, because I knew what happened to Max with just one sip, but the rage wasn’t numbing my mind.  I had to block out his voice, and alcohol seemed the way to go. 

 

Kyle dragged me home the next morning.  I passed out after five beers and spent the night in the backseat of his car.  My parents were away for the weekend, so they didn’t know, but big brother Max was waiting for me when we stumbled in.

 

So were Michael, Maria and Liz.

 

Let me tell you, a girl with a hangover the size of Texas does not need four people yelling at them.  I sat in the chair and let them lecture me, but I really didn’t give a damn.  And that made them angrier.

 

“Isabel!  Do you really think Alex would want you to do this?”  Max finally screamed at me.

 

I laughed at him.  It was seriously the funniest thing I’d ever heard, but my laughter sounded cold and brittle to my own ears.  “Alex is dead, little brother.  Dead.  He doesn’t want anything anymore.”  That was the first time I’ve said his name in a month.

 

“He loved you, Isabel,” Liz said softly.

 

“Then why did forever end, Liz?  He promised me forever, and that little bitch killed him!”

 

“You’ve got to get over this, Iz,” Michael said, wrapping his arms around Maria’s shoulder.

 

“Isabel, you’ve got to stop this!”  Max shouted.

 

“I don’t have to do anything, Max.  I’ll do whatever I damned well please, any time I please.”

 

And then Kyle and I took off. 

 

Part 8 – Kyle

 

It’s not fun having an alien king tear into you about being the moral downfall of his sister. 

 

No, strike that.  It was funny, because I just don’t give a damn about his self-righteous indignation crap.  It certainly didn’t bother him enough to keep him from sleeping with my almost-sister, the murderer. 

 

Izzy grabbed my hand and hauled me out of there.  Back on our rampage, on our quest to rid the world of the plague goldilocks left behind.  I think she knew I was about to punch her brother’s lights out, alien powers or not.  No one yells at Isabel like that.

 

We’ve done everything to each of our houses that we can possibly think of.  Hell, my house doesn’t look like my house anymore.  The night after we painted the walls and changed the furniture, Dad came home and thought he’d walked into the wrong house.

 

Dad – he’s shell-shocked, right now.  I actually feel sorry for him.  He can’t understand how the wicked bitch of the west managed to fool him for so long.  He just stares into space and shakes his head sadly.  But at least she left one good thing in her path of destruction, although that’s mostly thanks to Isabel, too.

 

Isabel stirred up public sentiment for Dad.  The poor man who takes in a troubled teen and gives her a home loses the girl he thought of as a daughter.  Boo hoo.  Strike up the violins.  At least it got him his job back.  Hell, I think Isabel could make him mayor if she put her mind to it.

 

Before we all knew what a little murderer she was, the only member of the pod squad I could really stand was sister dearest.  Now, though, I’m finally getting to know Isabel – and wonder of all wonders, I like her, even if she’s one of the little green men that screwed up my life.  Hell, anyone who wants to destroy the mega-bitch of the galaxy as much as I do is okay in my book.

 

But she’s more than that.  She’s the girl who really listens to me, who laughs with me, who hugs me and tells me it’s okay to cry.  She’s the beautiful, wonderful girl that smiles at me and makes me forget that Tess ever existed.  And I think I’m starting to fall in love with her.

 

Part 9 – Isabel

 

I like Kyle.  It’s weird – I’ve never really talked to him before, not in all of the years we ran with the same crowd.  And I’ve only barely tolerated him in the year since he knew the truth about us.

 

But now he helps me.  He makes me laugh.  He listens to me.  No one else does that anymore.  Michael and Max are too busy to listen to my problems, and anyway, they’ve got problems of their own.  But I think Kyle’s helping me heal.

 

He’s different than I thought.  He isn’t your typical insensitive jock whose only purpose in life is to get another notch on his bedpost.  He’s sweet and sensitive and he makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry.  He’ll never take Alex’s place in my life or in my heart – I’ll love Alex until forever really does end - but Kyle’s found his own niche.  It’s not love, not yet, and maybe not ever, but he’s made me believe that it will be possible again, someday.

 

As much as I didn’t want to, as much as I swore I wouldn’t, I’ve let someone else touch me.  I’ve let someone else in.  I didn’t even know it was happening, and when I realized it, I fought it with everything I had in me.  I didn’t want to hurt anyone else.  But Kyle wouldn’t let me fight him.  He wouldn’t let me push him away.  He pushed back.  Even when I screamed and ranted at him, he didn’t leave.  He just waited for me to shut up and then screamed right back at me.  He gives me hope that forever can exist again.

 

I like this side of Kyle – the friend who would do anything for me.  We’ve bonded, I think.  Bonded in our mutual hate of the blonde bimbo from hell.  And I’m glad to have him, whether we’re torching jerseys she wore or plotting ways to make her pay for ruining our lives or just crying on each others shoulders.

 

It won’t bring Alex back.  I know that.  But I swear I’ll teach her what it feels like one day, if it’s the last thing I do.  I’ll teach her what it feels like when forever ends.

 

And maybe then, I can open up my heart and let myself love Kyle the way he deserves to be loved.