SNOW VIRGINS

Summary:    Post 'Becoming'--AU--Way up North.  Buffy and Spike find mutual grief the strange peacemaker as they stem self destruction and the downward spiral spun from the disaster of Acathla.  Story concludes twenty years later.

*

The sun was just coming up-almost dawn, but he couldn't wait-if he got there too early well he would just wait and watch.  The moniker of Watcher forced him to be what he was called to be sometimes.
 
Giles had been walking, felt like he'd been walking for an hour, when in fact, in fact it was quite probably ten minutes.  But isn't it true that time passes much more quickly when you're older?

Oh yes it was true.

He kept himself cool and calm and concentrated on one task at a time.  He had had a terrible sinking in his heart when he received Buffy's message last night.  Somehow in some part of himself and had wished, had hoped that Spike could…what exactly? Shock her back…work some kind of his smack magic as he had seen him do for so many others suffering from addiction or depression or illness over the past 18 years…especially in Europe.  Even with no tangible reward system in place, he still couldn't seem to help himself from helping those being victimized.  Especially women. So he had hoped…but perhaps fate was fate and perhaps Spike was only here to bring Buffy hope and love and yes, joy in her final days.  Hope.  Better to die with hope than to be in morning for yourself.  To die poorly is a fate worse than…death.

He sighed. Very bad…analogy and not even mildly witty.

She had written letters to everyone and had told Angel, had told everyone, what she had wanted but none had wanted to hear.  The only reason Giles had, was because…well…Buffy had always, in the end…been right.  Every call in battle, every dream, every instinct and he had to respect her.  Had to.  So…after he found…her…well…them…he would be able to distribute the letters so the others could have the feeling of goodbye. 

He felt for the can in his pocket for Spike's ashes-if he had gone along with Buffy's plan that is-where were they?

She had said those bluffs over there where her favorite-they jutted out a bit and he could not see behind them.  The hair crawling on the back of his neck told him that is where they would be.

He smelt the remains of a dying fire as he walking slowly around the outcropping. He braced himself as he rounded the corner.  The sun had come up five minutes ago.

He couldn't see Buffy.  Didn't really expect to see Spike.  What?   He moved into the clearing, the light was still dim so he still couldn't quite see all and everything clearly. He sensed her before he saw her.

Her body lay over there close to the rocks; she lay on her side, long brown hair spilled out on the sand.

"Buffy."

She turned.

And looked toward him and called hopefully:  "Giles?"

His heart stopped for a moment.  Oh god in heaven this life would kill him.   Sharp hard breath; "Buffy?"

"Over here Giles," she called softly as if not to wake someone.

"Man, am I glad to see you…was hoping you'd be here soon…" She whispered.

He staggered over the sand toward her, his eyes taking her in her altered appearance, she looked a little older but…solid…she was lit up with joy from the inside and shooting it out…but...solid…she looked…real…not ready to fade away.

He knelt beside her and stroked her cheek pulling her to his breast.

She allowed him to hug her but he could tell she wanted to pull away, that she had something else on her mind.
He let her go, and she moved aside so he could see that she had been shielding Spike from the encroaching sun.

He wasn't in immediate danger but she had moved him to the shelter of the overhanging bluff against the east for protection.
   
At the sound of Giles voice Spike slowly pulled himself into a sitting position with his back against the bluff.

"What…what's wrong with him?"

He looked a little older too.  Rested but older-how could that be?

Spike was clearly dazed and had the stunned quality of a person shell-shocked.  His eyes were opened but unfocused, he followed the sound of their voices but--a little late on the uptake.  And he was resting his left hand upon on the top of his breastbone as if to hold the whole of his bodyworks in place.

Buffy leaned back and sat next to him, stroking the back of his head and kissed the side of his face, Spike leaned subtly in toward her.

 "He's…we've had a bit of a shock"- Buffy, shifting moods, turned from Spike and looked Giles straight in the eye, triumphant, vindicated…

"It happened Giles, what I saw in my dream, I'm not crazy…"  And here she looked back at Spike.

"Not the way I thought it was supposed to and we weren't even trying, really.  But the dream had felt so…firm…so…set in stone and so maybe it was supposed to happen one way or another…"

"A Heaven dimension?"  Giles asked and following Buffy's example spoke quietly as he sat next to them  
                
Buffy turned back to Giles her face aglow. Her body was practically radiating love and…power.

He hadn't seen his Slayer this charged…in well…ten years…he swallowed hard.

"I saw Mom, Giles, and Tara and...and…Jenny…she loves you so much, she watches out for you, you know and…and...I can't describe it…complete and perfect beauty…like there was not one, not even one tiny little flaw or bad feeling…perfect huge love…like an ocean at sunrise…or sunset…"  She amended after a moment of serious reflection.

She looked to Spike and continued stroking the back of his head.

"I never thought it might be painful for him to be there-but it was for a moment I could feel it in him and then…then it was him who wanted to stay…"

Spike slowly looked up to her and they looked into each others eyes.

"Can you imagine?  The doorway was open like I saw-but what wasn't in my dreams was…that I could decide.  Spike got me …thinking…so when all this love from heaven is in me, I'm thinking…Huh…maybe I'm not done with…the touching yet.  We weren't there long…I don't think…it was kinda like coming up for air before drowning again-and if it had been longer I don't think either of us would have come back--"

She took Spike's hand and he interlaced his fingers with hers.

"But Spike…--" she continued

"--I had no idea…"   His voice was almost a surprise to both of them. They waited to see if he would continue Instead he repeated.

"I had no idea…"

Buffy nodded. She continued to watch Spike but addressed Giles.  After all Giles had done to be of service to her she would let him know anything he wanted.

"When it was time to go…I knew…what I wanted…but…Spike…had to decide…Giles, he had to decide to leave that…and come back to what he was…"

She let this sink into the silence and they both regarded him but said nothing.

Spike roused himself enough to nod.

Giles looked at the sky, 'We best get him under cover."

 Buffy looked up; yeah.  I think being in heaven lit us both up so much from the inside he got sorta of an immunity to the sun but I don't know how long it's gonna last, don't wanna push it…we were just sorta gearing up-waiting for our…strength to come back enough to make a break for it. Let's go."

Spike was rubbing his chest absently and spoke softly to Buffy into her ear as she helped him up. Almost like a child puzzled by a hurt:

"…It burns…Buffy…"

She kissed the side of his face.

"…I know love, I know…it'll be alright-we'll get…a…a…cream…or something…"

Giles took off his long coat and handed it to Spike to drape over his head in case he needed.
 
As she helped him up, she talked to Giles but it was really for Spike's benefit to get him moving, forward thinking…

Back to being Earthlinks.

"We're moving to Europe Giles.  It seems I gotta get away from the Hellmouth, like, right away for my health,  I just got a double shot of heavenly espresso so I'll be o.k. for a bit but…so we'll live in Europe and Spike is gonna take me to the opera-"
 
Giles hummphed.

"He is.  And we're gonna go shopping and I'm gonna spend all of his money on…tasteless Italian handbags."  Buffy stole a sidelong glance at Spike and continued as they walked forward her arm wrapped around his waste supporting him

"…And…"  Another look to Spike.  "…I'm going to have a fine collection of cats…I'll think I'll start with a color coded one for every room…but you can't really make them stay in their own room cuz that wouldn't be very free range or PC groovy-so I'll start with cats for the fine aesthetic of it and then just break down to any ole comeby cat…you know, strays…yeah.. Lots and lots of stray kitties and handbags…and…Oh!  Oh!  And a tattoo!  A tattoo in the shape of…a cat…with a handbag!--"

--"Please don't get a bloody a tattoo-mark up your pretty skin-"

This from Spike.  Very, very quiet, but there. 

Giles relaxed at the old familiar sound of Buffy and Spike.  He remembered it like a favorite song played so suddenly that it made you think of a special summer.  They would be all right.  They knew how to balance each other when one was down.  He sighed but smiled.  (Jenny)  Soon.

They had stopped to snip.  Buffy was enjoying this. He could take it…come back Spike…bounce…  She spouted:

"I bloody well will to get a bloody tattoo too-"

Spike stopped and looked at her, studied her face, really, really looked.  She continued.

"And we'll spend Christmas in London, all jolly, ho ho, tut, tut and Dickens look out for us…and Giles can come with us and Dawn too and her family…NO!  Better than that--we raid Giles flat, we really take over and you can drink all his Scotch-

"-Denver…"

Buffy stopped Spike scores game over.

"Yes."  She agreed.  Quiet. 

"We'll spend this Christmas in Denver."  They kissed and only stopped when they realized that Giles was standing singing almost nonchalant:

 "Here comes the sun…do do do do…Here comes the sun…and I say…"

He turned and started walking arms wrapped around himself against the cold serenading them as they tempted fate and possibly temporary gifts from heaven. He sang as he struggled forward in the sand.  

Without a word Buffy and Spike followed him walking west toward the bungalow. 

Interior arms entwined exterior arms perched on a hip and with the morning sun on their backs they cast a wide long shadow in the shape of a sweet angel made of black ash flapping on the snow white sand. 

Snow virgins.