Open Mike Closed Heart

It was a designer nightmare; oh no this couldnt be the unhappy accident of Dadism in action--no, something like this disaster could only be designed. Some one with a big budget, no taste...and...and brimming with a vision no less. It was conceptual: Kick the Spike. (of course) Not earlier this week, not that...but this, THIS, this was the prize inside and he sighed.

Youd think, youd think just old fashioned wear and tear would dull the wound down to numb. Youd think.

Thank god, thank god, hed asked Ellie to come and host for him this evening. It was usually something he loved to do, throwing a comment in here and there supporting the performers, with a nod to the talent, to trying...

But he hadnt felt up to being under the spotlight himself and Ellie was free and fun and always the sassy big boned great hulk of a German lass took no prisoners and this lot loved her for it.

Sass was fine, she could provoke the audience as they sat and watched to her muses (Spike suspected it was Lenny Bruce) content all she wanted--but never right before, during or after a performance. Big Time House rule. And she agreed. Hadnt she felt the whip almost all her life from the girls at school about her size?

She used to stoop but then stopped and now strutted her height, her size and built it all like a brick house to be envied. And because she loved herself this way, men loved her this way. Well, not all men, but you get the idea.

And Willem? Well she made him laugh, and she considered and ran tally on how many times she could score a laugh from him. It was a thing.

The blonde brick house--would that make her adobe? Anyway she was in great shape tonight and it should have helped, it should have helped--even his odd feelings out in the old way; in the wild fest of verbal jabs he so enjoyed when she turned her attention to the laughing joyous group, the clique squatting, sprawled on the wrap around couch coffee and drinks on nearby tables and chairs.

The Scoobies.

Incredible.

Simply incredible.

All there, all well met except, the boy, Xander, but hey! The night was young.

There was an annex to the Book Store, a duplex really, that Willem kept closed except for Fridays, and Saturdays and rented out for special occasions. It had the eclectic sprawl that reflected the long history of Northumberland itself. Celtic symbols, (wards of course) thick wooden tables, sturdy furniture replete with soft, velvet cushions and coverings. The contradiction of texture was appealing to the senses.

It promoted a feeling of ease and goodwill but stimulating, and sensual...all round...folks loved to come and stayed all night--sometimes he had to kick them out the door. But he liked it. He loved it--it was the highlight of his week, his life.

He loved to hear the writers, both the ones he knew, and the new ones as well. Poetry and short prose 500 word max...there was an art and arc to the short work and he had borne witness to many a writer becoming much better under the influence of each others passion and support.

And the singers. Folk, some rock too--he had a small amp set up for the quick plug in. But acoustic usually went over better in the space, for some reason. Celtic thing probably wood wind and strings

There was a fireplace built into the stone wall and the Scoobies had arrived early enough to stake their claim--and the regulars good naturedly nodded to the newbies.

Hmm...fresh blood...

Willem shook his head.

Absolutely unfuckingbelievable.

He had a staff to run drinks and Anthony was doing the bar so he could stay way back, well out of all of it.

He had told Ellie that he hadnt been feeling well, and she had made the general announcement at the beginning of the evening to explain his diminished presence...there had been an aw... but Ellie had quickly sniped:

Dental work, dental work, you keep those jaws hangin and youll be feelin the business end of my number 2 pencil and nobody tell me Barbie Dolls cant feel my favorite adolescent dream house afire and Im no dentist if it doesnt hurt--am I then?

And she was off and in her run on sentence style and accidental English entertaining all and confusion? Who cared? Life was crazy, but maybe sometimes, sometimes it should sound, like what it was.

Speaking of Barbie Dolls check this un out here, gold hair and shampoo shine but no shame in that and dont let anybody tell you different. Youre lovely doll--was youre name an al?

It was Buffy of course and she bit her lip--

Ellie at the mike went on.

Cant say?

In honor of all women throughout the world and time spent at the pottery wheel, or basket weave and the unsung beauty of the unsigned artifact--I choose to remain anonymous.

Ellies eyes popped open and the crowd (fifty people maybe) roared their approval.

Well I thought Id had a play toy for at least ten minutes but Im bested, I am...and Ill admit it--and is that your H-O-T-T American beau?

It was Angel.

It was enough, Willem left the room. He crossed through the double doors and climbed the stairs in the connecting hallway to his flat over the cafe.

Once inside his rooms, he relaxed a bit, felt safer, didnt know, didnt need to know why they were all here...but here they were, all and all...even...even the Nibblet and he was not going to melt down about it either.

Buffy looked to be in rare form--shining, happy and thats all that mattered--she was happy wasnt she?--didnt need to hear act II.

He stretched out on the overstuffed couch and waited for it all...to just...go away.

*

He could feel the evening work forward from where he lay. Could hear the vibrations of laughter coming up through the floor boards, merry, merry up from the club below...intercut with the super stillness of fine poetry and the thrum of guitar; oh someone was playing--he loved it when someone sang and suddenly he felt cheated.

That lot, coming HERE, into his world like some small band of Spanish conquistadors bringing the Aztecs low because, because they were afraid...all lost for fear...and lack of information and do it, do it--fight back. Fire stick or no--you only die once.

Well...uh...sometimes twice but whos counting? Third times the charm.

Willem got up from the couch and moved into the hall--maybe, maybe he would just listen from out here from the top of the stairs.

*

It was the steady driving thrum, thrum, thrum, that sat under the song that drew him down the stairs and the recognition of someone, a man doing justice to an old John Lennon tune. Circa Plastic Ono.

The singer did justice big time to Lennons relentless repetitive beat but imbued it with something from himself as well. Something that connected singer to song, and song to throng.

It felt real.

Remember when you were young?

How the hero was never hung

Always got away...

Always...

If you ever feel so sad

And the whole world is driving you mad

Remember, remember today

And dont feel sorry

Bout the way its gone

And dont you worry

Bout what youve done

No, no remember, remember...

Always...always...

Silence.

Applause.

It was Giles, of course it was. That could only have been sung like that by a mature man almost broken by the cares of the world on his shoulders and not some small amount of guilt as well...

Giles, good for you, murmured Spike. Thanks; needed that, mate.

Willem moved back into the room and stood by the bar looking over the crowd, Anthony crossed to his boss and asked

Feelin better?

I am an all.

Anthony smirked a little as he wiped down the surface of the bar.

Thas good, cuz...some bird, that lot...and here he gestured his head toward where the Scoobies lay sprawled.

--Been asking after you--pretty little bint with a mouth I must say, with respectable sass, come by twice.

Willem raised his brow.

And in answer Anthony said nothing but raised two fingers turning the simple small number into the V for victory sign.

Willem sighed. Not what you suppose, Anthony--shes all business that one.

Never know, never know whats in a birds brain.

Youre the one whos Bird brained...

Only saying... Anthony offered Oi now, youve got it--shes spotted you--

Spikes heart lurched.

Her eyes met his across the room and there was an appeal, a please come hither and what could he but do her bidding?

Like a ring a round the rosy the conversation slowed and came to stop as he drew near.

Huh...maybe this could be fun and why not get a bit of his own back?

And just as all eyes were tuned to him expectantly, Giles made his way through admirers all fanning him, to stand next to Willem and greeted him like an old friend...and indeed, their single evening and exchange of ideas had been so remarkable and if that didnt make a friend what would?

Willem had to admit he was more than a little warmed by the reception.

He deliberately kept his eyes away from her; he remained oblivious to their curious stares just as any stranger would be.

Wonderful performance, Old man...You actually pulled me downstairs to give you a listen....

Just a social service...

Oi aye, that puts us lot on the dole then?

Join the Magpies...

Ooooh...dont let this lot hear you douse Newcastle United, youll find yourself out on your ear...

Giles laughed and Willem asked the group in general--You lot taken care--have everything you need?

All murmured their assent, yes, yes everything was fine, wonderful even--they were having great time.

Xander wanted to know who the blonde stock car driver cum lately MC was and did she have a sister?

(So Xander was here too--when had he arrived? Looks like they were going to do it, the ritual--get serious)

You hoping for a thin blooded version? Sorry Mate, mold broken not even quite sure shes human--

--Oh that is so Xanders type...

(It was his Nibblet, all shiny and grown and so, so beautiful)

She responded to his smile of greeting with a wide one of her own and said without preamble.

Your store was closed for the past two days. You cant close a store for two days.

Well you can you know, just cant hope to stay in business...

I saw the poster for the open mike in the window and thought if I dragged Giles here, might get a look at those books--

Be open tomorrow, if Im not around Anthony can help you--

--You O.K.? It was her. Her, your MC said you were sick...

Her concern seemed genuine.

Bit under the weather, tis nothing...

Oh Im sorry... said Giles, turning to introduce him to the group. This is Willem--

Hello William. said Angel. His voice was low almost intimate.

Ah...Its Willem... Willem corrected, nodding blankly, politely

Is it? Angel asked innocently.

And he did it so well, he was a master of words after all, and his inflection, the potential challenge was so subtle, one could scarcely be sure it was there at all.

Buffy heard it of course and Spike heard it but he was on the other side of his grave and so Willem remained calm, heart even--he had changed so much in the past nine years he knew Angel would never be able to pick up William the Bloodys energy pattern because...it simply did not exist.

He watched Angel watch him and other than display the ordinary call to territory that one male may mark to another, Angel saw nothing and finally shook his head a bit and looked away.

Wont...wont you join us? Buffy asked hopefully a little over bright to cover her companions bad manners.

No...no...just heard you were asking after--

Oh for heavens sake... Spouted Willow suddenly, Ill just say it. You look a little bit like someone we used to know hence the freaky...

Thank you really, but I just came down to make the rounds, havent the stomach really for sustained conversation.

Oh that was different. Everyone understood pukeiness. Ew.

Ta for coming, looks like a party of sorts and please feel free to keep it going until Anthony throws you out.

He was moving away when Buffys voice stopped him. She had left her seat and was now at his back touching his elbow to turn him around--

--an electric shock ran through both their bodies fusing her fingers in place for an overlong moment just as electricity might--

This was what he had been afraid of earlier this week, why he hadnt wanted her to touch him--try as she might to deny there was anything between them--the evidence of their bodies in close proximity always had this effect.

The warmth in each others nature called out to the other. It was not a thing of the mind, something you could think away, it was chemistry and a thing of the spirit...they reacted against each other with or without words like I love you.

Words didnt make something like this happen; words described when something like this happened.

She seemed startled, afraid, the shock reached deep into her womb and she waited but he pulled his arm away from her fingers and she dropped her hand embarrassed.

It hadnt been long, maybe nobody noticed.

Nobody, meaning Angel.

I uh...Willow was wondering if you would help us perform the ceremony? Giles seems to think you have power, that you are some kind of base line--and we need two men and two women for the four points but they all have to fit together, and they have a soprano, and a tenor, contralto and you would make base--and so...

So you need my help again is that it? Thas why youve come back...

His tone was challenging and her heart grew strangely fearful as the warm light in his eyes dimmed down to cool so cold and almost hard, definitely hard to know.

No...I mean, I thought if maybe you met him--

--I did just meet him then havent I? And I dont like him; I dont like him at all and certainly not enough to risk my spiritual neck for...that...and here he jerked his head toward where Angel sat.

Of course everyone at the table was still; of course everyone heard the whole thing.

Well good. Dont have to repeat myself then.

And with that Willem turned his back and walked away.

It felt good.

*

Angel felt bad.

He had just arrived via Newcastle International, just hours before really on a night flight from La Guardia, something had happened that could change everything and he really had to talk to Buffy about it in person, in private and it may only table their plans...and it was important, but she had been so happy to see him, they had all whisked him off for a get together reunion and hey the old gangs back together drink and why not hear Giles sing too? And ...he was a little pissed that she hadnt picked up his vibe...his sense of urgency and...

It was his fault; he knew it was his fault. Its just he had had a terrible moment when he had heard Buffys heart speed up and he had looked up to see someone who resembled Spike, really only vaguely, more like an attitude resemblance than a physical one really, but the sound of Buffys heart and blood sent racing at the sight of someone who just looked like Spike...well... it had gotten is growlies going...couldnt help it, it was and old territory issue and now they would have to find someone else.

Maybe If I just give him a day or two... Buffy suggested

Let him be...

It was Xander and his voice was low and calm

Hes got issues Buff, anybody can see that--maybe hes lost his people to vampires...hes gotta have his reasons...let him be...

Good wise advise.

And she would take it, she would--but still there was something about Willem, something that made her want to take him and shake and make it all o.k. too; throttle him enough to make him see sense and at the same time, make all the pain go away...

It was all mixed in together, but yeah she would let him go.

*

No, she wouldnt. She went to his store the next day.

*