Tempt

“Me?”

“Well...yes...”  Giles offered.

Spike tried to stare Giles down with his good left eye, but by now Giles was having none of it.  He could look him straight in the face with barely a blink--helped no doubt by the double scotch on the rocks...but still...points for accuracy...and new meaning to the phrase ‘bull’s eye.’

They all had alcohol in hand, even Buffy, who barely ever let a cold one heat her up.  Beer and Buffy and loopdee stoop; but even she deigned to sup a brew...or two...

They sat in a circle or so in Spike’s living room placed directly over the cafe.  It was past hours now and Spike had suggested they meet in his flat--and here they were.  Well met.

Buffy was looking at Spike, but he wouldn’t look up--he was studying the fine gold border on the label of his bottle of hopps.

So she asked for him.

“O.K. just go through it one more time.”

Giles looked at Willow.  She was sitting on the couch next to Midge, just adjacent to where Xander sat in a straight back chair by the window, as if he was on sentry duty over the street.    

Giles was in the green leather arm chair by the television, and Spike sat in the overstuffed chair closest to the kitchen.  Buffy intermediately stood and paced or sat on the dining room chair pulled up next to Spike.

Willow began.

“Well, we have everything already, the Seal of Ohm...I got it drawn out on my living room floor and it’s only missing two small pieces of information to be fully active--and Giles will pull his piece from the akashic records just before the ceremony, and Midge will intuit hers--and they will both be placed with our backs turned so no one has exclusive knowledge of the totality of the...thing...”

And here she made her voice light, “And then...you know...someone can access the...uh cosmic court of law.”

“To do what?” Asked Spike simply.  No malice just an honest question.

“Leniency.”   This came from Buffy.  He looked at her. And Xander added softly.

“We can ask that somebody cut you some slack.” 

Willow took up the proposal.  “You can ask for...what is it--“

“--Mercy?”  Spike suggested softly.

The room was quiet.

“Ducks...this...what I am now--is mercy.   I may pipe and complain now and again--but it’s true.  I have been granted mercy...that amulet is my leniency.  It’s already done.  Haven’t you lot leaned anything from Moses little gaff?  You don’t go banging on a rock twice.  Not good.”

Silence as Spike thought.

“I...appreciate it...I really do...more than I could find the words for...but...what I said to Giles and Buffy that first night, what Willem said still holds for me.  I wouldn’t use the seal for me, family, love or the world.  Some things in nature just have to take its course.  There’s consequences.”

“Even if it kills you?” It was Buffy speaking; very, very soft but it stilled the room.

They waited for an explanation, instead Buffy asked Spike directly.

“You’re getting weaker aren’t you?  You’re eating all this food...but...it’s like not working or something is it?”

“What’s this?” Giles asked

“He fainted this morning. Said he was lightheaded and...hungry...but he’s been eating all the time.”

No way round this outside leaving the room, and maybe just maybe someone might have an idea.

Spike spoke:

“It...the amulet...it’s odd...it’s takes a lot of my energy to work it, to project the image but the drain puts me equal with a  human, say...but it also feeds me at the same time.”

“A lodestone.”  Offered Midge.

“Oh...yeah...sure...” Agreed Willow.

“But why aren’t you stronger without it?” Xander asked

“I am.”  Spike rejoined and then as an example he picked up a spoon from his plate and bent it easily.”

“Whoa.”  Xander admired.  “Uri Gellar’s wet dream.”

Small chuckle ran around the room.

“And hey!  Does that make you some kind of super hero or something?  Like Spiderman?” Continued Xander.

“No, more like The Mask...“ Willow’s voice died down to a dribble stop.

Beat of silence and then...

“So you have...like vamp strength...without the amulet...” puzzled out Buffy.

“Sure, pet...can’t never be more or less than what you are...just re arranged.  Physics or some such rot.”

“Law of relativity--”  Suggested Willow and Xander picked up the thought--

“--Uh huh...so you got vamp strength without it...you’re just--”

“--Starving to death.”  Giles said.

Buffy’s face went white; news that blanched better that bleach.

“I’m...sure it’s not that bad...” Willow suggested after noting Buffy’s reaction.  “I’m sure...”

“--Spike will let go of his pride long enough to step onto the seal and ask for help--possibly full restitution of your physical body.”

There it was.

Temptation.

And if that wasn’t enough Giles added, “I’m sure you wouldn’t want Buffy feeling responsible for you starving to death.”

Low, Rupert very low.

Spike leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment and then asked.

“How would it work?”

Midge stepped up.

“We need four corners as we did before--it would be myself as Soprano, Giles as Tenor, Willow Contralto...and Buffy would be your base...if she agrees.”

“Me?  I’m not magical.”

“Not as such...but you could ground Spike, you do ground him, you are family to him, you are powerful to him and that would make you powerful in the configuration.  That’s the team.  Spike you would be in the center...and well...you know the request.  Full reconfiguration for time and services rendered.  Payment for service is a law.”

Midge looked around the room put her beer down and then burped, but talked through it:  “Cooouuuld work....should work...you are very hard on yourself Spike...personally I think the scales have shifted to your side these past years, what with the quiet service you’ve been providing for these....people, around here...the writers...I think it could work.”

Beat.

“I need to think about it.”

“Spike, the Venitian eclipse is tomorrow.”  Willow didn’t need to say anymore.  Just that.

“Willow could you recreate the Seal of Ohm here on the floor?”  Xander asked.

“Well...yeah...I guess...my house is clean though...” She seemed reluctant.  “What do you think Midge?”

“Well...haven’t you ever noticed how good a library feels?  Or a...book store?”

Giles cleared his throat as if this proved every point he ever dotted on an I.     

“If I started now...I could get it done by midnight.”

They all looked at Spike.

He shrugged. 

“Never stood opposed to a little graffiti.” 

*

Willow finished sometime after one o’clock.  Spike offered her the couch...but she declined.  She wanted to stretch out in a nice comfy motel bed and maybe get up and see Hadrian’s wall with the sunrise.  The morning sun always helped clean her out (and detox her) she didn’t add, didn’t needn’t tell anybody how much work she still put in every day in staying straight.

Buffy had ordered pizzas for dinner for them all, and Willow picked up a piece and munched quietly while considering the seal.   

Buffy came up and stood beside her.

‘Thanks Will...for not taking no for an answer...for coming up...I was running out of phone calls to far places.”

“Why doesn’t he want us to help him?” 

The question was a simple one and the answer so complex that Buffy barely believed she understood it all.

 “I’m not really sure...habit maybe...he’s been so used to looking after himself these last seven years...pride...”

“I’m doing this for me too you know...” Willow said softly staring at the seal.  Buffy waited for her to continue.

“If it helps, tell him, I’m doing this for me too...I want to know...I want to feel it again...white magic...” 

Willow’s eyes got a bit teary and impulsively Buffy hugged her. 

There was a honk from the street.

“Gotta go...taxi time...goodnight Buffy...night Spike!”   She called out as she went through the door.  “No more beer, no more alcohol.  It’s past midnight...”

“Ta, Red ...” He called from the kitchen.

And then she was gone.

Buffy picked up the pizza boxes and padded softly to the kitchen. Wordlessly she put the contents in the fridge.

She said without looking at him.

“I don’t wanna sleep on the sofa tonight.”

Spike leaned against the counter and watched her, his eyes growing soft.

 She turned to look at him eyes connecting world falling away, away, who needs the Seal of Ohm, heaven was right here tucked inside his eyes and now she was too.

“Buffy...where’s Angel?”

 “California.  Cordy woke up from her coma, and he went back to L.A.”

Silence.

They looked at each other until he looked down.

“I suppose you’re wondering if that makes you second choice or something.”

“Actually my mind went blank for a moment, just for a moment I was blessed by thinking absolutely nothing.”

Well what could she say to that?

Nothing...action is what’s called for...

She relaxed immediately and he could tell she wanted to hug him and was trying to figure out how to do it--when he made to leave she just simply grabbed him in a bear hug and wouldn’t let go.

Even though he knew she had been preparing to pounce on him he was still little unprepared, emotionally that is.  She pressed her body into his, filling all the cracks and missing places in his life suddenly filled with her warmth.  She let her warmth find its way into him like gentle fingers trying to tuck in the untidy.  He felt her heart open right there next to his and felt one, just one moment of choice of maybe ‘no’...but only a fool would turn from such a gift...or only a fool would accept it.  Difficult to tell at this point of the story which kind of fool he ought to be.

Just too lonely, too many years of lonely...he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, his left hand pressed against the small of her back.

He buried his face in her neck and they held each other like that, breathing in each other until words and the world went away. 

Her hand gently stroked the scarred flesh of his forearm...and remarkably it wasn’t repulsive...it couldn’t be...it was him...him under there...she could feel the depth and breath of him

Alive.

“Alive...” she whispered

She focused all her attention on her fingertips, on the whisper touch love of skin to skin...

“Let me love you Spike...other stories would make us wait, make us...pretend we didn’t want each other, make misunderstandings get so bad it all falls apart, and I’ve done that I’ve been there...”

She gently worked her hand under his t shirt sleeve to touch him there...she felt like a little girl growing giddy by plucking wild berries...each touch as resounding and plump as a berry she plopped into her mouth bittersweet.  Scarred flesh but Spike too.  Touch...touch...pick and pluck

He seemed mesmerized, eyes half shut and glazed under her skimming finger kisses.

His breath was catching in hitches...

“Don’t leave me...please don’t push me away...”  Her hands on instinct found the clog in his chest the deep sob of a decade of loneliness.  She leaned into his body as she stroked his chest...and felt the sob rise beneath her fingers...

“Buffy...you’re going to drive me mad...”  His voice hitched

“No...no...never...I’ll drive you to the store, I’ll drive to hither and yon...wherever in England that is...but I’ll never drive you mad...”

She whispered kissed it against his left ear...”Never mad....please...and...and we’ll never get mad at each other...ever again...it just hurts too much...didn’t you feel how much it hurt?  Like something tearing...”

He nodded against her throat.

Her right hand had just discovered his left breast, found his nipple and his pounding heart. That thing was happening again.  That disappearing consciousness and pretty soon they would be out of control in the old way but new too...

“It’s o.k...if you can’t....” Buffy spoke low eyes down. and smiled a little to lighten “it’s not like we’ve never been...creative before...”

Spike stilled under her hands and she thought for a moment maybe she went too far, said it wrong...

“Please don’t be mad...don’t send me away...we can just hold each other too...”

What was she was saying?

“You think I can’t make love to you...”

“I know you can make love to me...I want you to...love to me...I well...I don’t know...Willem put me off --maybe the fire...”

“Oh..”

She buried her face in his neck...

“I swear to god, I don’t want anyone else...I’ve been looking for a man for years, I’ll admit it--but when it got real bad, needing somebody...when I was really ready...I started dreaming of you, seeing you everywhere...and it made me so confused cuz why should it be you I thought you were gone and there was no way to fix it.”

Buffy spoke in a rush had to get it all out at once.

“And maybe it was you because we never finished our story...it got cut off at the good part.  Everything else in my life has rounded out...but you...don’t...don’t you wanna see how it ends?”

“Aw...Buffy...”  He gripped her tighter and she sighed into his strength.

 “Just let me stay next to you...doesn’t it feel so good just being in the same room together?”

Oh, so she felt it too...she felt it too...

“Yeah it does pet, it does at that...”

“That was your best gift to me that year before...you left....just sitting with you, feeling you in the same house...so...so we’ll be o.k...whatever it is...”

He kissed the side of her head, and she felt the warmth of it travel through her skull and unravel words down to puffs of pleasure.  His kiss traveled down through viscera and ended as a dangerous spark in the occult of her womb.  She felt the familiar tightening and her legs draw up preparing to open and why not a flower?

He leaned in and kissed her neck and her body jackknifed suddenly urgent...

“Though...sex...good too...”

They looked into each others eyes and suddenly smiled a soft ‘hello there...’

She sagged against his body, legs loosing it...loosing it...gravity, the earth begging her to fall down and fall open before him..

Without a word Spike gathered his Buffy in his arms...and she mused softly from far away...

“How come women’s legs go all jelly, jelly when the big sex love light goes on--but men don’t...”

She felt the chuckle from his chest.

“-So’s men can do this.” 

And with that he carried his love to his bed. 

He lay her gently on the covers as if solicitous of poor aroused female incapable of running away...well looking at her fairly writhing before him didn’t exactly help him stay upright either.

Eyes glazed she watched him as he lay down next to her, her hands finding the buttons on his shirt...free...free...be free...

He cautioned her just once.

“Not the prettiest picture in the world luv...”

She breathed out “Don’t need pretty...need you...”

And she did...it was not his skin, it was the thing that ran beneath his skin...this wild warm current that went wanderlust in her womb when she touched him. 

She had had lovers over the years; well two...and she had found herself desperately groping them both...for this...this...

Molten magnet that was buried there running wild somewhere inside him...and she wanted it too...in her...

Her knees fell open before him in the ancient way and he moaned...sweat Buffy elixir...

He pulled her sweat pants off gently, breathing hard at the sight of her there, sans underwear and already gleaming.

He gently kissed down the inside of her thigh, her body already jackknifing on the bed, already orgasmic before he kissed her opening and thrust his tongue up in to say hello.

Buffy screamed out, arms flailing up and striking a hole in the plaster behind her.  Body bucking under his sweet suckling.

As her body rode out the end of the first wave, she started crying bit, just a bit at first but deep body sob was threatening...

“Shh...ah shh...ah Buffy luv...” He crooned whispered talked into her ear now...his clothing was gone now and she looked at him in awe through her blurry eyes...she reached up and gently stroked his face...

“Thank you...”

His eyes were soft and wide...”Ah...my bonny Buffy...so bonny...”

He reached down and kissed the column of her throat, and sucked the flesh of her neck into his mouth...his chest rumbled into something so close to a purr she smiled...

(Once a vamp...always a neck fetish...)

“Oh!” 

It was an exclamation and invitation for more.        

                               
He had found the mother lode hot line to her She self and she arched her pelvis up toward his groin...and felt the long hard statement of his extreme arousal pressing between her legs.  “Spike..”

He smiled at her surprise...”Yes I am...” he chuckled and she chuckled, so good to laugh, so good...

His teeth nipped her earlobe and hot sweet tongue slipped into her ear as part promise part proposal for...similar doings in nether regions...

She pounded on his back and cried out and he would take that as a ‘yes’--her hand slipped down to say hello to his left buttock and thoughts gone, words, gone now, just now...now, now, please, please now...

He entered her like coming in the front door of the cherished home...easy, full of wonder at the flood of recollect and new too...so easy to be inside and how had he stayed away?  How had he stayed away and stayed sane?

“Buffy...” He whispered her name like an incantation as they took their time going from room to room, sometimes fast, sometimes, pounding down the door, most times just still and quiet and small strokes...him stroking her face, her hair...

She stroking his back...and (oh...his skin is smooth and unscarred on his back) and this pleased her, cuz it meant a bit of old Spike had survived the crash to alive. 

A bit of the old world with the new...

But now they were moving together again and laughing a bit too and...and........!

*     

When he made his decision it was easy. 

It was sometime before sunrise...old vamp instinct telling him so.  And it was easy.

He looked at her golden hair spilled out over his chest...early morning light finding the highlights for him.  The highlight of his life. Well...that was true.

He wanted to touch a lock...just play the angles in the light...but didn’t want to risk waking her.  Sorta had a bit of a workout the night and he smiled at the thought.

His stomach rumbled though and that did it.

He heard a long intake of breath...the one before swimming up to consciousness.  Her hand stoked his chest as she woke...as if she couldn’t be awake even in a semi state and not touch him somehow.

Her breath evened and they rose and swelled together on air circulating through living matter.

She spoke the first words of the morning.

“What’s it like being alive?”

It wasn’t what he expected her to say, it surprised him.  Well...good.  Didn’t she always?

“From before...I mean...are...colors different?  Do things seem different?”

Now that she was awake it was o.k. to stroke the pretty girl’s pretty hair.  He did.  He gave her question some thought, he went deep to find the truth of it.

“I imagine...it’s like the difference of being in a movie...living in a movie, in 2 dimensions like...and then being in the 3d world next door.  Feelings are the same...inside but everything is...rounder...like there is more room for...taste...touch...”

And with that he stroked her bare shoulder and when he did she knew...she knew he had made up his mind not to do it. 

To not use The Seal of Ohm.

*

Tell me why?

It was only moments later...but time did that funny long tread loopy thing.  So it felt longer.

He pushed her hair away from her brow and smoothed and ran his left thumb over her brow to smooth the worry wrinkle away.

“Red brought you back...she brought you back...and I...had such mixed feelings about it.  She brought you back for her, for us, for the world and I fall down grateful and heartbroken every day...for what you lost, for what I gained...just having you in the world...even if we weren’t together...just feeling you alive on the planet somewhere...she brought you back and whether she’s admitted it to herself or not...she paid for it.  With Tara.”

Buffy looked down and said softly.

“You can’t know that.”

He said nothing just waited for her to find it for herself.  She was an honest woman.

She rolled on her side away from him hair falling and hiding her right breast and finally asked   

“Is it the same thing?  How can it be the same?”    

“It’s balance...the balancing act...one thing moved from one side to the other...makes a hole...and god knows what or who might get sucked up into it.  No matter what that witch thinks...I’m way over on the red side of the scale...can’t risk more debt.  Just can’t.”

“Tara didn’t see it coming, she didn’t know...if she knew she could have...”

“What if it’s the Nibblet?”

That stopped her.

“Or you, or even Red herself, or Ellie, or Anthony or the squirrel in the tree I feed chips to?”

Buffy thought.

“O.K.  O.K. I trust your instinct...but there has to be another way...there is more than one way around any problem.”

He nodded.  She said.

“So back to research...we go back to research...”

Spike smiled and Buffy moved back into his arms...she raised her head and leaned in and felt him back away subtly as he realized she was going to kiss him...kiss him on his partially scarred mouth.

“Spike...let me kiss you...you...shy?  You a shy boy?”

He relaxed and when he did she leaned in and kissed him softly, butter melting in their mouth warm loving kiss.

“Good morning Spike.”

“Good morning Buffy.”

*