The brisk knock at the door stirs him right out of his quiet little...

"...ahhmmnnhgh." Slick. Sticky.

Dragging his eyes open, Hakkai lifts his left hand to see his slightly trembling fingers glistening with the smear of thin, translucent fluid. Part of him feels like wincing -- for one thing, at the intimate smell of his wet hand -- for another thing, at the still-fervent ache between his legs, especially as he glances down and finds the splendid glow of the moon from the window revealing the undeniable state of his arousal --

From across the room: another brisk knock.

Oh, yes, the door.

Quick to shove himself along, Hakkai sits up to reach for the folded hand towel on the nightstand, and the moment he's wiped his hand clean he fastens his trousers, peering at the curled-up form of his slumbering little dragon by the foot of the bed. He leans a little forward to give Hakuryu the gentlest caress with his knuckles, before lifting himself slowly, carefully, from the edge of the creaking mattress.

When at last he opens the door, he is ready with a smile, betraying nothing of his lack of enthusiasm to do so in the first place.

Vibrant red eyes grin down on him, catching Hakkai by surprise.

Didn't he just see Gojyo leave the inn not twenty minutes ago? And even if it is too unusually early for him to be back, is there a reason for him to be standing right in the doorway of Hakkai's room to begin with?

So he asks Gojyo thus, in a voice that manages to suppress the anxiousness behind his question.

Gojyo then breaks into half-slurry exposition, revealing his unhappy discovery of too few pretty girls in this town, and that he's thinking maybe he and Hakkai can hang out or something since he doesn't really feel like hitting the hay just yet...

Hakkai cannot say for certain it hurts him to death, however he cannot deny the heavy, wrenching sensation in his chest and in his gut and in his head to hear that Gojyo had sought him out only because he is unable to have the pleasure of female company tonight and --

Hakkai's hand flies, hitting his face hard enough to jar himself out of his unkind thoughts.

Gojyo starts, in a way that would probably appear comical at any other time. "What in the hell did you just slap yourself for?!" he cries, the astonishment on his face compounded by a look of pain, as if he himself can feel just how much that slap hurts.

-- but it barely hurts Hakkai, actually. Not as much as a toothache does, for one thing. Or the long, jagged wound in his stomach on rainy nights.

...or even

the sight of Gojyo walking out the door every time in search of a woman to sleep with...

"Hey Hakkai, you okay?"

In almost automatic response Hakkai smiles and nods his head Yes, with the presence of mind to explain his self-slapping behavior, besides: that he just thought he felt some mosquito sucking the blood dry from his cheek. Gojyo, at any rate, seems to accept this lie without question.

Then comes another lie, requiring just as less effort to flow out of Hakkai's mouth: that he is actually quite worn from the long drive today and would very much like to retire already, hence his sincerest regrets to keep Gojyo company for the night.

"Che, what are you, bedridden or sumthin'?" Gojyo simpers, a fresh cigarette rolling between his lips. He gives Hakkai's left elbow a light -- very light -- pat. "C'mon, man, we're not gonna take the whole freakin' night."

Ah. But of course they won't, for it's not like Gojyo has any intentions of waking up with a man in the morning.

"Well?"

... For some reason, Hakkai's mouth seems to move of its own accord, acting as though it has nothing at all to do with him, for it reiterates quite firmly that he really would like to go to bed now, hence, if Gojyo will please excuse him.

And then he bows, making certain the smile has once again stuck itself to his lips when he straightens up...and beholds the frown in Gojyo's gaze, and listens to the slight rustle of Gojyo's pants as he turns to amble off without one more word.

Soon after Hakkai finds himself no more than the lone breathing thing in that gloomily lit hallway, fingers pressed over the knob of the door as if it was sapping all the color in his knuckles.

...

That was the only time Gojyo ever -- ever at all -- asked him for anything -- anything at all -- and yet...

...he couldn't have possibly turned him down with more ease.

Why, he can't even recall ever having declined Sanzo or Goku to their face, even when they hadn't done him anything he should be utterly grateful for...
like picking him up half-dead in the rain,
and taking him to their own bed to heal,
and giving him a home and more than a shoulder to lean on in the past three years.

...

Hakkai has to drive the heel of his palm against his chest, unable to do anything about this long, stringy...whatever it is...that's suddenly trying to coil its way through every throbbing vein of his heart. Perhaps it doesn't hurt as much as catching the last smile on your beloved's face, or finding yourself suddenly become a creature removed from the human kind, but still it is pain no less significant all the same, especially as he could have avoided it altogether --

A distant sound reaches his ears just then, and Hakkai deftly makes out the hasty tread of approaching footsteps. At once he makes to step back inside his room, turning away before this person -- whoever it is -- has the first chance to glimpse at the look on his face, a look he doesn't quite trust, what with the way his shoulders seem to be hanging like they didn't have any bones. However:

"Hakkai."

He turns.

Darkened red eyes frown down on him, surprising Hakkai a second time tonight.

Didn't Gojyo just step out of the hallway a moment ago? And even if he has stepped back in, is there a reason for him to be anywhere around Hakkai, again, to begin with?

So he asks Gojyo thus, in a tone that manages to mask his uneasiness.

Gojyo opens his mouth, but only to let out some of his cigarette smoke. For a few stiff, wordless seconds, he merely stands still before Hakkai, staring into Hakkai's eyes from behind the thin veil of his dark red hair, with only the faint white light from the end of the hallway revealing the seriousness on his face, the smoke from the cigarette wedged in his mouth drifting its way into Hakkai's own face.

Hakkai lets the next several moments bear witness to Gojyo's intent and quiet staring, however he breaks it off shortly, cracking a strained smile letting Gojyo know, only slightly in jest, that he's making him rather uncomfortable.

But still Gojyo refuses to budge. ...until:

"You're lying."

-- his voice low, and casual-sounding, belying the blaring accusation of his words.

Ah.

The one, only time Hakkai lies outright and Gojyo makes it out to sound like it's such a...crime.

'You're lying.'

... You slept with your own sister. ... You've got blood on your hands. ...

'You're lying.'

You're so full of shit. You know how you've always wished every town was like this one, barren of pretty girls. Admit, you want to do more than just 'hang out or something' with him. You know you did lie and you can't hide it any--

Hakkai chuckles -- abruptly, at first, then he chuckles slowly, and softly, that it only comes off all the more false to anyone with ears. Thus he cannot really blame Gojyo when he frowns even more:

"The hell're you laughin' like some psycho?"

Scratching at nothing at the nape of his neck, Hakkai straightens his back up against the frame of the door, and stares right at Gojyo making certain Gojyo can see -- even out of the light -- the smile on his face that does nothing to hint at the mass of chagrin clawing all through his body. Then, in his calm, affable voice he demands to know, as though somehow offended, what ever brought Gojyo to such an amusing conclusion.

In an effort, perhaps, to loom over him, Gojyo advances his slightly taller self even closer to Hakkai. With a slight downward tilt of his head he blows a gentle whiff of smoke into the loose, wide neck of Hakkai's nightshirt, before bringing his gaze back up, blurting,

"I saw how you looked at me downstairs when I was headin' out for the bar."

... Oh. He did?

"I saw it."

But...no, he couldn't have.

"You can't fucking deny it, Hakkai, 'cos I saw it -- that look on your face..."

Ah, how times flies, indeed. Already Hakkai misses the few moments ago when he was reclined on his bed, a hand on himself, lost in the comfort of his private, red-colored thoughts.

...for it is far less trouble to deal with the red hair and the red eyes in his mind, than this red hair grazing over his shoulder and these red eyes searing right through him --

and with every accusing word spitting like fireballs out of Gojyo's mouth Hakkai can almost feel the air grow hot enough to skin him, and suddenly he finds himself all soaking in sweat and choking from the dusky fumes of Gojyo's cigarette, and the only thing that stops him dead from tearing his suffocating shirt off --
and silencing the mouth before him with a desperate shove of his fingers
or his tongue --
is the tail end of Gojyo's fiery assertion:

"...truth is I've been lying, myself. Fuck if I've never wanted you to look at me that way."

...

Hakkai hears a faint little gasp leave him, along with a faint little utterance of, "Gojyo...?"

And yet --

even with the constant hammering he can now feel in his chest, and the warm, pleasant sensations stirring within him all of a sudden, Hakkai just cannot seem to pluck himself out of the mire of bullshit, remarking to Gojyo that he's sorry but he hasn't the first clue what he's talking about.

In one rough, unexpected movement, Gojyo rips his filter off his mouth, and over the grinding scratch of cigarette against the wall he snarls at Hakkai to shut the fuck up. "Only the stupid monkey can be that clueless," he clenches his teeth, taking Hakkai more than a little aback with the sudden blaze of rage in his eyes --

but this rage fades as quickly as it emerged, and just as Hakkai starts to grow aware of his utter stillness Gojyo grabs hold of Hakkai's right hip, and presses himself against Hakkai, close enough for his scarred left cheek to touch Hakkai's hair and for Hakkai to feel the hard -- very hard -- bulge in Gojyo's crotch...which Gojyo then rubs subtly against him.

In the face of the many resistive things he is moved to do in response, from wrenching himself off Gojyo's grasp to sinking his teeth in Gojyo's collarbone, all for the sake of not proving Gojyo right, Hakkai nonetheless lets out a soft -- very soft -- moan in the end. Then he slips a hand behind Gojyo's waist, sliding his gaze down from Gojyo's as though he could hide what he's certain is now a wildly blushing face.

But Gojyo's insistent hand on his jaw holds his face up to the light. "Now," he half-grunts, breath tickling Hakkai's nose, "you still gonna say you wanna retire already?..."

Hakkai feels a hand slip under his buttocks.

"...or am I gonna have to fuck the truth outta ya?"

And it is all Hakkai can do not to shift and press his own hardness against Gojyo's, arching into his body as he returns the slow, forceful rub...

and smiles:

"Yes, please."

END