L clutches at his knees against his chest.

By now, he can say that it is 93% probable the second Kira is:
- female. A girl.
- or a gay boy.
- or a girl who thinks like a boy who thinks like a gay person.
Someone who breaks into a dainty giggle instead of an inelegant guffaw. A girl. Or, again, a gay boy.

Either way, there is a 98% probability that the second Kira is young, quite easy to please, and faithful -- or, more aptly, gullible. She/he is also most likely an imbecile, but only because her/his intellect takes a back seat to her/his emotions when it comes to --

'-- then again...' L breaks his own train of thought,

perhaps there is no need to bother with the respective pronouns because a gay boy probably does not mind being referred to as "she," in any case. Or at least an openly effeminate and/or cross-dressing gay boy.

That leaves L to use:
1) "she" for both:
1a) a girl; and
1b) an openly effeminate and/or cross-dressing gay boy
and then use:
2) "he" for:
2a) a gay boy who isn't effeminate and/or into cross-dressing but is still outwardly gay.

All the same, L muses that he had better not refer to the second Kira around the others so casually as though he is 93% certain of her gender or her sexual preferences or his sexual preferences and social identity issues.

'Then again...'

It is 50% probable that the second Kira is only leading them to conjecture that she is a girl or a gay boy. There is still a 50% probability that the second Kira is a boy just like Yagami Light --

'-- then again...' L twists the tip of his thumb into his upper lip.

It is 87% probable that Yagami Light is a gay boy. The way he had pored over the splashy pages of his pornographic magazines without as much as a jerk of the hips was almost a giveaway, even though it is 62% probable that Yagami Light was merely being prudent at that time on account of his relative awareness of the hidden cameras...

L reaches for the box of flower-shaped chocolates on the right end table of the couch. As he has been counting, only one remains of the original sixty pieces. He slips the last morsel between his lips and folds his hand again over his knee. He keeps in mind to advise Watari not to get that brand anymore.

After the chocolate has melted, L reaches for his cell phone on the left end table of the couch. (He only vaguely notices that his pants are draped over the left arm of the couch.) It is imperative that he instruct Matsuda to figuratively:
1) keep an eye out on Light; and
2) keep the other eye out on:
2a) every girl; and/or
2b) every openly effeminate and/or cross-dressing gay boy; and/or
2c) every gay boy who isn't effeminate and/or into cross-dressing but is still outwardly gay; and/or
2d) every boy
in Aoyama and Shibuya tomorrow. However, Matsuda must also be aware of the 89% probability of the second Kira showing up in a clever disguise, so it is equally imperative that he observe everyone in the immediate area and in the remote surroundings who does not fall into any of the aforementioned categories, including every gay girl.

L wonders, though, if Matsuda can even spot a clever disguise at instantaneous glance. In any case, he pushes the speed-dial number for Matsuda's cell phone. Three seconds later, a dull yet insistent ringing rips through the droning silence of the hotel room.

"Beepeep. Beepeep. Beepeep."

It is precisely the same sound to the same beat that L can hear through the receiver of his cell phone. In a moment Matsuda's animated voice is on the other end of the line.

"Yes, this is me."

L doesn't believe he is merely imagining that Matsuda's words are coming less through the cell phone and coming more from inside the room. He tilts his widening gaze downward and is reminded at last of the fact that Matsuda's face is between his legs. Has been there, as a matter of fact, for the past five and a half minutes now. Matsuda has his cell phone pressed to his ear, his apparently hazy eyes fixed up on L, and the fingers of his right hand curled around the base of L's bare-skinned erection. His lips are particularly glossy as well.

"Oh, yes, you...were..." L scratches lightly at the delicate skin of his knee.

Matsuda frowns. "How could you call me on my phone at this time, Ryuuzaki?"

Swiftly L flips shut his cell phone. "I apologize. Please continue, Matsuda-san," and to validate his apology he moans and covers his eyes the second Matsuda re-takes him into his mouth.

He also fixes the rookie detective a midnight snack of strudels and tea afterwards. Matsuda takes down fervent notes of L's latest probability theories and then promises L that he will not fail him, before he lays his head on his pillow down on the carpeted floor and L takes his regular position up in the couch. L puts the television on mute and resumes pondering the case of the second Kira. Every few minutes, he reaches for the cinnamon twists on the coffee table and listens to Matsuda mumble in his sleep.

L cannot wait for the day that he:
#1 catches Kira; and then
#2 tells Matsuda that his efforts have been more helpful than idiotic all along.
'There may also be hope for #2,' L nods, sucking on a cinnamon twist.

END